Work Text:
My Proofreader: Hundashter's Profile
My fuckin favorite singing: Reinaeiry
The song this fic is inspired by: Original Song about unrequited love || Hopelessly by Reinaeiry
I looked out the tinted windows of the black SUV, watching the trees and buildings pass me by. Looking at the driver's seat, I see my chauffeur behind the wheel, next to him my manager talking to whoever was on the other side. My finger tapped my knee over and over again, my anxiety rising the closer we got to the building. My heart was pounding against my chest, excited to see her face again.
I carefully stepped out of the SUV and adjusted my sunglasses, my mask covering half of my face. Guards came to my side shielding me from the interviewers, “Miss Noceda Miss Noceda!! Is it true you are in love with your boss!?” One of them exclaimed. I paused and looked at them, then chuckled and shook my head before moving towards the doors. Pushing them open with my usual flair, I was greeted by my friend at the front desk waving her hand. “Luz! Late as always” Willow said, smiling at me. I smiled back and gave her finger guns.
“One of these days you’ll get in trouble with Mrs. Blight” She comments, rolling her eyes. Walking up to her I chuckled. “As if, we know Mrs. Blight-” I paused hearing someone cough from behind me, I gulped and turned around meeting the golden orbs of my boss. Her brown hair was tied into a braid, and said braid hung over her shoulder. “Miss Blight what?” Her sharp tone brought me out of my small daze, I coughed into my fist and awkwardly rubbed my neck.
“I was saying… Mrs. Blight! You look positively radiant today” I said, attempting to salvage what little I had to say in my mind. She let out a sigh, rubbing her forehead, my smile never left my face watching her grumble and mumble under her breath. Just then a loud and deep laugh cuts through the room as big burly beige skin arms wrapped around her waist. “Matt!” Amity exclaimed, red in the face. My smile fades, replaced with one of annoyance. “I do agree with Luz dear, you look absolutely stunning” His husky voice spoke, I looked at his arms wrapped around her and noticed a ring on his finger.
It matched perfectly with the one on Amity’s, “what are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be at work!!” She hissed at him, her smile widening. I grit my teeth looking away from them, “I just wanted to say hello to my beautiful wife” He says, kissing her neck. I walked away from them not noticing the look of sadness on Willow’s face. Hearing their voices slowly quiet down I let out a sigh leaning onto the wall. Glaring at the floor my fist balled up, I slammed it against the wall feeling my knuckles collide with the concrete.
Hissing in pain I held my hand, letting out a groan and stomping my foot on the ground as I had a little fit. I took a deep breath, centering myself, then let it out and gripped my instrument case handle. “You need a bandage?” I jumped hearing someone's voice from behind me, turning around I saw the face of my friend Gus. In his hand he held a bandage roll, his free hand pointed to the hand I used to punch the wall. “Yeah…” He nodded his head and grabbed my arm, proceeding to lead me to my studio and sit me down on a chair.
He grabbed a small kit hanging from the wall and began tending to my still hurting hand. Carefully, he wrapped the bandage around it and cut it off. Gus looks at me and sighs getting up, rubbing my back as he looks at the door. “Matt visited today...and it was right in front of my face this time Gus, they flirted in front of me” I said, staring at the floor. I wasn’t sure if this was part of the curse, or if the world really hated me. This had only happened a handful of times, but every time it does it hurts to watch and pretend to be okay. “It’s going to be okay Luz, Mrs. Blight won’t be around again to do her check up” Gus said trying to make me feel better, I shook my head and gave him a pained smile.
“It’s fine Gus, let’s just start the recording” I say just as my manager came in holding snacks and drinks, she stared at us confused before looking at my hand. “Luz, what the fuck happened to your hand?” She asked gently holding it, I rubbed my neck and looked away. “Nothing Skara, let’s just start” I told her as I retrieved my guitar from its case, then entered the recording room and placed the headphones on. Moments later I’d hooked up my guitar and was waiting for Gus’s go signal. Upon seeing his signature thumbs up, I began to sing.
“None- stop stop” I said, hearing the music stop. Gus spoke into the mic. “Is there something wrong?” I nodded my head and placed my guitar down, crossing my arms I looked at the ground thinking. “A piano, I need a piano” I said looking at Gus and Skara, they looked at each other before Skara went to grab the piano. “Is there any reason why you didn’t want to use your guitar for this one?” Gus asked, I took off my headphones and leaned against the wall.
“It just didn’t sit well with me”
I told him, watching Skara enter the room with the electric piano, which I then helped her set up. “Thank you” She smiled and ruffled my hair before joining Gus.
“Oooooo~ ”
----------
As I walk past Mrs. Blight’s office carrying my guitar case, a hand reaches out and pulls me into the room. My eyes widened as they snapped to the person holding me, “Glad to see you too Luz” A familiar voice piped up. “Amity” I said, smiling down at her. She huffed, rolling her eyes. A bag of chips gets pushed into my arms, “sorry about this morning Luz… I know you and Matt aren’t on the best of terms” She says, frowning.
I smiled, trying not to remember the utter betrayal he did when he learned I was going after Amity, “It’s fine… I have to warm up to him eventually, you know…what with you being married and all” She smiled and punched my shoulder. “Thank you Luz, for staying as my best friend” She suddenly wrapped her arms around me, trapping me in a hug. My smile fades away as I look at the picture frame on her desk, his arms around her, their faces etched with happiness. “Hey, you’re not getting rid of me that easily” I joked, hugging her back. Amity is happy… even if it is with a guy like Mattholomule.
“Hey… why don’t we have a good old Ami and Luz hangout? Just like before” Amity suggests, breaking the hug much to my dismay. Rubbing my neck I looked to the side, unsure about this. “I-If you want to of course, I’m not-” Pressing my pointer finger against her soft plump lips, a small ‘shhh’ escaped my own as I smiled down at her. “sure Ami, we can hang out… just like before.”
----------
Darkness surrounded me and filled my thoughts as I stood in my home. With a sigh I placed my guitar case against the wall and took off my shoes before putting them away. I ran my hand through my hair as I looked around at the shadows, then walked to the light switch and flipped it up, watching the lights flicker on. Making my way through the kitchen, I grabbed some eggs and started up the stove. This life and this version of Amity is so confusing, over the years I’ve met multiple Amity’s and all of them shared the same traits.
Every Amity despised men, well not really but she has never once shown interest in men or males in general. I’d seen her get with another woman a few times, and it always broke my heart but I’d always still been there for her. Now this Amity for some reason fell in love with a guy named Matt, someone who knows us and me, who knows I was in love with Amity. It just...maybe this guy was the exception to the rules I thought knew, but...It just boggles my mind as to how such a sleazebag managed to win over Amity’s heart the way Matt had.
Grumbling, I placed the cooked eggs on a plate and set in on my dining table. Walking over to the rice cooker I took some rice from it and placed it on my plate and silently ate dinner.
When I'd finished I walked over to my notebook laying on the coffee table, notes sticking out of it and some torn paper too. Opening it, pages and pages of songs graced my sight, I grabbed the pen near it and began to write down some words that popped up in my head. A few days from now Amity and I would hang out, I wasn’t sure how to act around her knowing she belongs to Matt. Maybe… just being cool and not too touchy would work, I just have to act like nothings wrong.
--------
Oh I cannot do this
I cannot fucking do this
Looking at Amity who was leaning against the wall staring at her phone, she looks beautiful, gorgeous , I...no… UGH- Get your head out of the gutter Noceda, she isn’t yours this time. Mentally slapping myself I walked up to her, a small smile on my face. She looked up from her phone and gave me a bright smile. “Hello Luz!” She said, putting the device in her pocket. Waving my hand I looked around the area “No… Matt around?” She looked at me weirdly, we made eye contact for a moment before she shook her head. “I told you it’s just us hanging out” Amity laughed punching my arm, I hummed unsure about that.
“Well… thinking back to the last few times we hung out, Matt was definitely there,” Amity looked at the ground frowning when I brought it up. Sighing, I ran a hand through my hair, “It’s fine… let's go,” We walked around for a bit before deciding to go to the mall. Amity grabbed my hand all of a sudden once we entered the mall, my cheeks reddened realizing how tightly she was holding onto it. I lightly slapped my cheek with my free hand trying not to look dumb, “Just so we don’t get seperrated, right?” She turned to look at me and nodded.
“Well for you not to get lost, even if you’re tall you're pretty clueless with directions most of the time” She pointed out causing me to blush, grumbling I softly punched her arm then looked away. “That was ONE time, Ami….” Letting out a sigh I stuffed my free hand into my jeans pocket, Amity rolled her eyes and dragged me to a bookstore we were about to pass by.
Dork
I thought to myself, chuckling at how she gushed about the new Azura installment. She grabbed my hand and brought me closer to her as she continued to talk about Azura. Smiling down at her I focused on how happy she looked, Amity was so cute talking about Azura and Hecate joining forces.
-----
When did it come to this?
Why is he here!?
Looking at the scene in front of me I grew more angry and bitter, Matt just happened to be around when we were waiting for our food to arrive. I watched them flirt shamelessly in front of me, again , until I forced my gaze down to my plate and utensils. My eyes lingered on the knife laying there...but no, I subtly shook my head at the thought of possibly hurting Matt. Not wanting to ruin Amity’s happiness I just sat there in silence, looking away from them, ignoring the looks I had coming my way from waiters and customers.
“So Luz… how’s that new song coming?” Amity suddenly asked me, humming I turned to look at her and then glanced at Matt, who smirked at me. Clenching my fists under the table I forced a smile, “It’s doing okay…” I trailed off, the tension rising between the three of us. “Your food” a waiter said, placing the plates of food on the table. I sigh in relief and notice Amity close her mouth looking a little disgruntled. “I need to go, be right back” She said, standing up and walking to where the restrooms are. I watched her disappear behind the door just as I heard a bottle being opened.
Subtly I glanced at Matt who didn’t know I was observing him, watching him pour the liquid into the glass of wine causing it to glow for a quick second. I eyed the label on the bottle and felt my whole world shatter, ‘love potion’ was displayed on it in bold words. I grit my teeth realizing what they had was faked and he cheated. A lightbulb went off in my head, that meant Amity never really loved him! I can’t believe he would resort to such underhanded tactics, then again this is Mattholomule I’m talking about, he’s always been cheap and underhanded with getting what he wants.
Pretending that I didn’t see what he did I looked back at the table, “So… hanging out with Amity, huh?” He suddenly said, smirking. “Yeah, so what?” He chuckled and placed his hand on the table, the ring on his finger glistening under the light. “She’s mine Noceda, remember that. She doesn’t love you” He grinned, chuckling softly as I glared at him while he continued to talk about how Amity was never going to belong to me and so on. My patience with him was wearing thin the longer he spoke, “You two seemed to be having fun” The familiar voice of Amity spoke up from behind me. “We were just catching up, isn’t that right Luz?” Matt said in a sickeningly sweet tone. Smiling at Amity I nodded my head in agreement.
“That’s good-” Amity furrows her eyebrows and glances at the ring she was wearing, she looked at Matt and noticed the same ring on his finger. “Amity! Have some wine” Matt exclaimed, gesturing to her glass dramatically as she sat down. She gave him a little smile and took a small sip of her wine.
That fucking son of a bitch
He’s been doing this for years!?
I swear to motherfucking-
“Luz are you okay?” Amity said, breaking me out of my small daze. Looking at her I noticed the worried look she wore on her face. “It’s nothing, let’s eat yeah? Oh and Matt I want to talk to you about something in private, after dinner”
----
I slammed Matt against the wall, my other fist raised up and ready to strike. Amity was waiting for us in the parking lot unaware of what was happening. “YOU FUCKING DICK” I exclaimed punching his face, things were calm at first before I snapped and revealed to him that I knew everything. “You fucking bitch!” He yelled out holding his face, he grabbed my collar and bashed our heads together. He stumbled back while I rubbed my head in discomfort, years of being alive had its perks. Pain was second nature to me now, physical, emotional, my one and only near constant companion across the ages. I’d adapted to the changing times and developed ways to protect myself and Amity, at this point nothing could phase me anymore.
A quick swipe of my leg and he was on the ground. I stomped on his stomach causing him to wheeze, then knelt and pressed my knee on his throat while I looked for something to use. Noticing some discarded plastic wires nearby I hummed, grabbed them and wrapped the things around his neck, pulling tight . He let out choked screams/insults while clawing at me, his eyes widening in fear as I continued to tighten the wire around his neck. I can assume what came out of his mouth at this point were apologies, but honestly I have no idea nor do I care.
“You fucking ruined everything, I trusted you!! I thought we were friends, AND YOU WENT BEHIND MY BACK AND USED A LOVE POTION- A LOVE POTION ON AMITY!!” I growled, leaning my face away from his reaching hands, watching him continue to struggle to get the wire off his neck, “How’s things from down there, Matt? Still wanna talk smack about me!?” A cruel grin spread across my lips, watching him slowly lose his strength to fight back and struggle. “I’m not dying anytime soon, so I hope you enjoy the afterlife for me… in hell” I leaned down and whispered into his ear, then drew back and watched the light fade from his eyes. Letting the now lifeless corpse go I stood up, stepped back, and wiped the sweat off my brow.
“What the fuck!?” I hear Amity exclaim from behind me, fear overcame my anger and exhaustion. “A-Amity I can explain-” She pushed me away from Matt’s dead body and held him close, she checked his pulse and realized he was gone. “WHAT THE FUCK LUZ!? YOU KILLED HIM, YOU KILLED MY HUSBAND!!” She exclaimed, tears spilling down her face. She stood up and began hitting my chest over and over again. “Amity!!” I growled, holding her, “Please, Listen to me!!” I exclaimed.
“To what? Your reason to kill Matt!? Luz you just murdered someone, you think I’d listen to you!?” Amity kneed me in my stomach and moved away from me. She reaches into her purse and grabs her phone, “I’m calling the cops and you’re going to tell them whatever you’re telling me.” I slapped her phone out of her hand, we both looked at the device as it landed on the ground. “You aren’t in love with Mat!! You were never really in love with him, this- this wasn’t supposed to happen” I said, starting to get really nervous about this. Amity screamed, catching the attention of someone nearby.
Stepping back I turned around and ran away from them, I heard another voice yell at me and another pair of footsteps chasing me. I ditched my car and rushed through the city hoping to lose them to the crowds and sharp turns. Looking back I noticed that I wasn’t being chased anymore. Just to be safe I ditched my attire, buying some random stuff off a street vendor. My old clothing I then dumped into an open fire in a barrel left by someone in an alleyway. On the walk back to my house I realized how much Amity must hate me.
My heart ached realizing that she sees me as a monster, someone who kills people, someone who killed the ‘love’ of her life. My fear turned to anger, which turned to sadness then turned to a mixture between frustration, fear and depression.
-------
The sound of the empty gas can hitting the ground echoed throughout the house. The acrid stench of its contents soaking my clothes and drenched over the interior of my home, permeated my nostrils. On the table in front of me was a pistol I'd acquired a few lifetimes ago. Gripping it tightly I sat down on the floor, examining it with surprisingly steady hands. It hadn’t helped me much back then, but maybe it could now. My guilt had been eating me out and I felt so bad for doing what I had done in the moment of anger. I ruined Amity’s paradise, even if it was faked by a simple love potion.
For the past few hours I have been anxiously looking out the window for police cars, for someone to bring me in and send me to jail. Now I couldn’t take it anymore, the guilt didn’t stop and now I was covered head to toe in gasoline with a pistol in hand. I fumbled with the gun and made sure it was loaded, then grabbed my lighter and dropped it into a nearby puddle of gasoline. There was a mighty fwoosh sound as flames began to spread rapidly through my home. Not wanting to waste anymore time, I drew back the hammer and heard the familiar click of the gun. Placing it into my open mouth I aimed upwards, pressed my finger down upon the trigger and began to slowly squeeze...
.
.
.
.
.
BANG
.
.
.
.
.
.
------
-Amity Blight-
It had been a few months since the incident, and the news coming out that Luz had committed suicide and burned down her own house. It hurt a lot to know that she would kill Matt, and to be honest I was sort of glad she was gone now. She couldn’t hurt any else, but… something inside me just couldn’t let go of the fact that my best friend is dead. Atop that, someone I trusted for so many years, just up and offed themselves after murdering the love of my life. It just...didn’t make any sense to me.
Now… I was moving Matt’s stuff into the attic, it hurts too much to look at his things and not have flashbacks to the night it all happened. Stepping back I accidentally knocked over the boxes behind me, the contents inside of them spilling out. Letting out a sigh I started picking them up and placed them back into their containers, that was until I noticed a CD, a note and a mysterious box. I opened the box and noticed small bottles of liquid inside, each of them had a label taped onto it which helped me identify what kind of thing it is.
LOVE POTION
In bold letters, right in front of me was a box of love potions, and I noticed that the liquid in the bottles looked familiar. Thinking back to the moments between me and Matt, I realized that I often saw it in my drink. Well, it quickly blended into the drink but on occasions I’d still see some contents of it in them. My blood boiled realizing how long he had been doing this, then ran ice cold as I realized how right Luz was that night, both for what she did and for telling me the truth.
I growled and tossed his things outside of the house not caring that my front yard looked like a mess. I told a nearby maid to burn all of Matt’s belongings and anything remotely related to him. Walking back to my room I looked at the CD and note, grabbed the piece of paper and realized just by the handwriting itself that it was Luz who wrote it.
“Hi Amity,
I hope Matt delivers this to you, I really do. This took a lot of courage to film and put on a CD.
I also hope after this that you’d consider going out sometime? I heard the carnival was coming to town soon uh… see you
Luz”
I stared at the note before inserting the CD into the player, the video started and I looked to the corner of the screen displaying the year this was shot. Gasping I realized that this was made during collage, I saw Luz with a piano staring awkwardly into the camera. She talked to the person behind it before letting out a sigh, “okay… three two one” She mumbled before the music began.
“None of the songs
On the radio remind me of you
So I write my little love songs
Made for two
I’m a hopeless romantic
In love with the feeling
Of needing somebody to hold
But these stories that I write
Remind me that I’m not alone
Hopelessly
Longing for
A love I’ve never known
Take my words
I’m all yours
Not ashamed to say,
Great poets are made of
Unrequited love.”
Luz looked up from the piano breathless and smiling, she walked up to the camera and laughed. “I love you Amity!!!” Then the video ended, leaving me in silence. I stared at the now blank screen for a long time, tears forming in my eyes. Eventually I hung my head and let them fall freely. My hands drew closed tightly into fists, trembling as I let out a loud cry of anguish, clutching onto the note as I pressed it to my heart.
My mind raced as I broke down sobbing. I’d spent my life with a man who I had been tricked into loving, who only wanted me just to spite Luz. Luz, who I knew I’d had real feelings for, once...no, who I still had feelings for. And I’d had little doubts, little inklings that something was wrong for years but, but when she’d told me the truth…I was too shocked to believe it, too weak to break the spell and trust my best friend ...no, more than that, I realized...my soul mate.
It was unforgivable, an act of betrayal on my part worse than what Matt had done. I should have listened! Should have realized , should have KNOWN! But I didn’t, and now it was too late. All I could do now was carry on in her memory, show the world what Matt had really been like, and who Luz wa-...who she’d been , too. I made a promise to myself to keep her in my thoughts from that moment onwards. It wouldn’t be difficult, she’d never left them, not really.
“...Forgive me…” I choked out in a horse whisper, as if she could still hear me, as if she even would...I didn’t deserve it, and what hurt the most is...somehow, I knew she still would, had she been there. But she wasn’t, Luz was gone and I’d never get to see her again, speak to her again...laugh with her again.
I’d never be able to bring her back, never be able to make up for this.
Not in my lifetime.