Chapter Text
He looked up and felt the tides shifting within him, moving, rising, pushing—
Rin’s eyes were already looking down at him, softened, liquid jade gazing over his features, a soft smile dancing on his lips. His hands reached up to rest on the top of Osamu’s head and began soothing the frazzled strands down, fingers occasionally twirling and tugging dyed gray hair every once in a while.
Osamu swatted at him. “’M all sweaty, stop it.”
“Hmm.” His hand shifted down to tug at the little hairs at the nape of his neck instead.
Practice had ended around 10 minutes ago, and the two of them, in an effort to avoid clean up duty, sought refuge outside the gym near the steps. Rin had sat down on the second step from the bottom and Osamu had plopped down on the ground, legs splayed out and leaning his head and elbows on Rin's knees. The thick summer heat infiltrated their senses, dulling everything around them and reducing them to this moment.
"Rin," he whined. "It's gross, leave it."
Rin huffed a laugh. "If I minded your sweat I wouldn't have touched you in the first place. Let me have this."
Osamu pouted a little but let his features relax again as he felt long fingers massage his scalp. Slowly, he could feel his mind floating away, drifting towards the math assignment he knew he would struggle through, how good the banana milk he had during lunch was, how tiring practice was, what he planned on eating for dinner…
"OI! What the hell are ya slacking off for?!"
They both tilted their heads back as Atsumu stomped over to the gym door.
"Who says we're slacking? I'm taking a well-deserved break after someone forced me to lead blocking drills."
"Don't ya wanna be a respectable senpai? 'm giving ya opportunities."
Rin rolled his eyes and pulled his hand out of Osamu's hair, nudging him forward so he could stand up and stretch his limbs, leaning backwards until he stared directly into Atsumu's eyes. Osamu heaved a sigh and let himself flop back onto the stairs.
"Stop staring at me like that, 's creepy. 'Samu! Get yer lazy ass up already!"
"'M going, jeez. Give me a sec, it's hot," he rolled his eyes and had just moved to sit up when Rin's hand found its way to his line of sight. Feeling a slight thrill, he grasped the large hand being offered to him and let it carry most of his weight as he stood up.
"You guys finished cleaning up?" Rin asked.
"Yep, no thanks to you losers. C'mon, let's get going." Atsumu headed back inside the gym, with the other two third years following him. Now, without the annoyance of cleaning the gym, they rushed inside to gather their belongings and begin the trek home.
"Oh! Suna! Osamu! Where'd ya two disappear off to earlier?" Gin waved at them from his spot by the main gates where he was tying his laces.
"They were off being lovey-dovey! Saw with my own two eyes," Atsumu gagged.
Silently, Rin strode past him and flicked his forehead as Osamu glared at him. "Shut yer dumb face, scrub."
"Ya have the same dumb face! And it's true!"
"It's not as dumb as yers!"
"Moron!"
As the twins escalated to shoving and spewing mindless insults at each other, Gin shot Rin an exasperated glance. In response, Rin looked away, shrugging his shoulders.
"Don't act like you can't stop 'em!"
If anyone had the ability to reign in the twins besides Aran, who had the unnatural ability to entertain their antics while getting them to dial it down, and Kita, who was unnerving enough to command just about anybody's respect and attention, it was Rin. Whenever Ginjima tried they just roped him in or drowned out his protests depending on the day. Rin, however, managed to maintain his distance from their back and forth most of the time, and could usually divert their attention away from each other long enough that they stopped what they were doing.
Sighing, Rin called out. "Osamu."
Immediately, Osamu's hands let go of his brother's shirt and fell to his sides. "What's up, Rin?"
"Didn’t you say you wanted to get some snacks after practice?"
"Oh! That's right. Thanks for reminding me."
Between Rin calling his name and his response, Osamu had ended up by Rin's side and away from his brother. Atsumu and Ginjima looked at each other tiredly.
"Three years of this shit, I can't take any more," Atsumu groaned.
Sagely, Gin nodded beside him. He didn't suffer nearly as much as Atsumu must but lunch was almost always a painful affair. It didn't matter what order the four of them sat in, the conversations were usually divided up between Rin and Osamu, Osamu and Atsumu, Atsumu and Gin, Gin and Osamu while Rin vs. Atsumu happened. It was entertaining but the pining got old during first year. They were now approaching the end of their third year and Rin and Osamu still hadn't gotten even close to admitting their feelings for each other.
Shaking his head, Gin readjusted his bag on his shoulder and waved at his friends. "Well, this is my stop guys. See ya Monday!"
"Gin! Don't leave me to deal with them!" Atsumu wailed, grabbing his shoulder.
"Atsumu I hafta go! Ma is expecting me back right after practice. I'll pray for ya!" Pulling his arm, Ginjima ran off, leaving the trio behind.
"You act like we're so bad Atsumu. If you don't say anything we can't pick on you," Rin said nonchalantly.
"Tch. You guys clown me even when I don't say anything. And that's not what I meant!" Very dramatically, he huffed and pulled out his phone. "Whatever. You two jerks won’t get it."
Looking at each other confusedly, Rin and Osamu shrugged and continued walking at a bit of a slower pace than the blonde twin. They weren't saying much between the two of them, and the silence fell over the trio until they reached the convenience store.
"I'm heading in. Want anything?"
"Chuupet."
"Pudding."
"Got it."
Rin and Atsumu waited in silence for a bit leaning against the bike railing, Atsumu standing and Rin crouched in front of it, his back pressed against the cool metal that relieved him from the sticky heat of summer.
"Do you ever plan on telling him?"
Startled, Rin looked up at Atsumu, who was already staring down at him. Brown eyes bore into his intensely, his mouth set in a grim line. Like this, Rin was reminded how different Osamu and Atsumu really were. Not that Osamu had never held a similar expression on his face, but when it came to looking at Rin, he couldn't really recall Osamu with such a hard look. He knew, however, that Atsumu was serious for once and decided to play it safe. "Telling who what?"
Atsumu's brow furrowed. Maybe that was more playing stupid than safe. "'Samu. That you like him."
"Why would I do that?"
"Do you not like him?"
"…No." Rin looked back down at his knees.
"Hey." Atsumu's tone lowered. "Don’t lie to me about something like this."
"It doesn't matter--"
"The hell it does!"
"--because I'm going pro and he isn't."
All of Atsumu's protests died down. "Wha-"
"Why do you two look so worked up?" Osamu walked out of the store with three separate bags. One with Rin's chuupets, a bag of puddings that was most likely for both him and Atsumu, and some chips. He held out Rin's bag to him, who took it without looking up at him.
"Give me my bag!"
"No yer just gonna eat it all."
"They ain't all mine?!"
"You get one."
"Hah?!"
"Rin. You alright?"
Still looking down at the ground, Rin slowly stood up from his crouch and watched his shadow rise against the pavement. "Yeah, I'm good."
He began walking ahead of the twins, who were quietly bickering over the snacks behind him. With the summer air beginning to cool down as the sun slowly set, he could feel his mood begin to dip a bit as well. Although that definitely was because of Atsumu and his choice of small talk. The orange of the setting sun washed over him, and he chased that feeling of fulfillment that normally settled deep inside of him. Seeing a beautiful end to a satisfying day of hard work; shouldn't that feel good? Today was a good day. Drills were tough but they went well and Rin could feel himself improving both as a player and a mentor. He spent time with Osamu, wrapped up in their little bubble of carefree high school days.
And that was the problem.
Rin chased that feeling of success, of a good day of sweat and hard work paying off, of the contentment that comes after a nice workout. He chased and chased, and is going to keep chasing that after he graduates. Volleyball has been Rin's answer for a long time, and while he supports Osamu in his dreams, of course he does, Osamu's success doesn't have anything to do with the court. Instead, he'll define his good days by the number of customers, a successful recipe, clean counters, and the feeling of a full stomach.
It’s not like Rin hasn't watched Osamu and thought about confessing. Because he has. Plenty of times. Being around someone as pretty as Osamu as often as he is, seeing him under different lightings, in different places, different seasons. It's not easy to hold yourself back. But Rin does. Because he knows that in the future ahead of them it would probably cause them more pain than anything if they were to try and be together. Longing when you're with someone every day is difficult enough as it is. He can't bear the thought of having to throw in actual distance to that calculation.
"Sunarin. This is us."
Atsumu and Osamu were standing at the path they normally turn on to head home, looking at him with completely different expressions. Osamu looked more concerned than anything as he walked up to Rin and squeezed his shoulder.
"Not sure what's got ya thinking so much, but text me if ya need anything okay?"
"Mm. Thanks for the chuupet."
Waving him off, Osamu turned and headed down the path towards their house, leaving Atsumu behind with Rin once again.
"Sunarin."
Hesitantly, "What?"
"If somethin' like that is enough to make ya not wanna try with my brother, ya might as well not like him at all."
A little shocked, Rin finally looked Atsumu in the eyes. "Isn't that a little much?"
"Ya won't even try with him?"
"It doesn't matter Atsumu. It would be difficult and maybe it is a little cowardly of me but I don't want to have to know that every time I miss a call because of practice, or every time he forgets to text because he's working hard, one of us is suffering. Maybe if we're secure in our jobs or something, but…"
Atsumu clenched his fists. "Just sayin'. Don't hurt him now on some cowardly guess."
Scoffing, Rin turned away and headed towards his own house. "What do you think I'm doing?"
Atsumu stomped towards Osamu's figure in the distance, who hadn't bothered waiting for his brother at all. "I think yer gonna end up hurting yourself and my dumb brother, Sunarin. That's what I fucking think," he muttered.
"Hey, loser. Ya finally lost it back there?"
"Shut it, 'Samu! And give me my damn pudding already!"