Archive of Our Own

AN: This is post canon, and prior to the events in For All Debts Public and Private.

Too young. No…that one is female. No…that one is also a female. Have I truly depleted the local population of this 'deer' creature? Hope not, the meat is quite agreeable with my palate. I turn and hop onto the branch of another tree several meters away. Scanning…another female deer. Another…another child. I may need to hunt the females to avoid sending the population out of balance. An annoying concern, truly. I enjoy the familiarity of the forest, so close to the departed Genkai's compound, and adjusting my hunting grounds would be a greater annoyance.

The solitude is satisfactory. Familiar. Nature and I, as I have done many years in the past. More than half my life, arguably. Living off the fat the land, harvesting meat, collecting thoughts. Contemplating…existence. The why of the matter. Why am I here? Why has life saw fit to see me tossed into a river to die? Ask the questions too frequently and one can go mad. The basic need of survival, there isn't a better distraction out there.

I hate using my Jagan eye to hunt. It takes the thrill out of it, and it's…rather unfair. They are mindless beasts, sure, but I am clearly far superior to them in any battle. In fact, they always flee at my approach, requiring me to chase them down. And strike them down. They never fight back, curious. A few creatures exhibit such behavior in demon world, perhaps this is more common amongst the beasts of human world?

There! A male deer, decent size too. Its meat will sustain me for at least a week, hopefully more. I grip tightly on my sword and make my silent descent, my back against the orange setting sun. I land, my foot crushing the fallen orange leaves. The deer freezes and jerks its head to the right. Does not see me. Should be routine. I quietly run to a tree on the left, avoiding the leaves and a rock. There was rain yesterday, which softened the debris underfoot. An advantage I will take.

The deer remains still, still staring at nothing in the distance, still oblivious to the nearby danger. I angle my sword to point downward, and I charge. A swift cut, and the head is severed. The legs kick for a second, before the body collapses to the ground. I stare at the head, the eyes blink once, then stop. The easy work is done. Now to harvest the meat.

I cannot stay. Back in the Alaric, with Mukuro. I thought we could come to an understanding. Romantic feelings? I am no fool, I knew that would be too dangerous. Even stupid animals know not to stick their limbs in what hurts them. But camaraderie, a training partner, a drinking partner? She was approachable after the first demon tournament, someone I could even trust. When Yomi won the second demon tournament, and the mad scramble by Enki, Yomi, and her to restore their respective kingdoms was completed, it is as if she reverted to a familiar state of mind.

A familiar state of mind. Myself, alone, living like a petty bandit. Goading others into challenging me, killing them. Seeking mindless violence. Seeking death. No better than the animals I hunt for meat. A hollow existence filled with senseless bloodshed and lots of anger. It's important to keep oneself grounded and alert, lest familiar patterns return, and bad habits sink in their claws, once again.

Very well, up you go. I lift the carcass on my shoulder, angling it so that blood drips harmlessly onto the ground. Leaving the severed head behind, I depart back toward Genkai's compound. Time is of the essence, lest the innards bloat and rupture, and the meat becomes tainted.

I run through the forest, lost in thought. Of time. And purpose. I found a discarded book recently, in English. 'The Gay Science', by Friedrich Nietzsche. A human thinker from Prussia. I knew a wolf demon that spoke German once. Odd fellow, she kept stealing worthless items from the rest of the bandits, almost compulsively. She had a few fingers crushed with a rock. Regardless, the book, absolutely fascinating. I had no idea modern humans could be such educated thinkers, like their ancient ancestors. Some of the ideas mirror those by our most learned of demon world, others challenge in such radical ways. Nietzsche's take on life cycles and reincarnation radically inspect the 'karmic' belief systems popular in Gandara.

"What if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: 'This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more.'"

My jaw dropped agape at reading that sentence. I fear very little. Not even death. Reading that, and then contemplating the implications…

"Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus? Or have you once experienced a tremendous moment when you would have answered him: 'You are a god and never have I heard anything more divine.'"

I understand his general theme behind his ideas. Friedrich Nietzsche appears to differ from the other thinkers from this age, and closer to the Ancient Greco-Roman, Chinese, and Indian thinkers whose thoughts and philosophies have gained traction in demon world in the past thousands of years. He is not trying to answer the functions of life and existence, but rather reframing the minds of the readers so they may reach their potential. As he described, the 'Ubermensch'. Do you seek the path to summiting your own apex? Ask, and find the answers you seek. A noble study, but there is the thought, hidden in the crevices between the body and the soul.

What if he is right? What if his thought experiment is actually true?

That I am nothing more than a story being read from start to end. That I am a song being spoken from the first verse to the last. A video being watched by someone far more powerful, and in possession of a 'remote'. That my existence is an abstract imagination, and all my thoughts and my emotions and my memories and my dreams, all my relations, all the people I ever killed, the people I ever cared for, they were all just a figment of nothingness. To be repeated ad nauseum by a force far more powerful for any mortal mind to comprehend or even attempt to understand.

That every moment in my life will happen, over and over.

Again.

And again.

And again.

Akin to a feather being blown upward by a cyclical puff of wind, only to fall down at the exact same location. For eternity.

I believe in reincarnation as a mechanical system for life and death and rebirth. As Kurama established when he inserted his soul into the body of a human fetus. He proved it to be possible. I never even knew such an act could be done, and by knowing of such a feat, I feel vindication that my beliefs are validated. Yet…there is the other thought. That eternal recurrence is possible. Never have I heard such a horrifying idea to digest.

That time is a flat circle. That our attempts to create ourselves are folly. That our concepts of self were already created for us. Or worse. That we created ourselves an eternity ago, and every single action we do or have done to us has already been set in motion. From cradle to grave. And back again. That we have sowed our fields well in advance, and we reap by existing.

I…I still struggle to know which way to stab at the concept.

Now arriving at the outskirts of Genkai's compound, I set my deer on the grass, just outside the main building. On its back, the forelegs folded over the chest, the carcass lies ready to be harvested. I know which way to stab at this carcass, so I least have solace in that. Very well, off to work. My philosophical musings will come later.

I take my sword and make a small incision right above the anus, splitting open the flesh and fur, revealing the rich dark red meat. Another incision here, there, around the anus, and I can now focus on the colon. I pull on the red, sinewy colon, and cut off the small tendons connecting it, then let it go. Now to expose the pelvis. The tip of my sword cuts upward, just small insertions, splitting the fur and the hide. I take great care not to slip my sword in and puncture the intestines, for that will surely spoil some of the meat. There is the cock and sack, and there is that urinary canal tube. I cut to the left of the urinary tube, holding it with my right hand, there…I see the pelvic bone now. Now I swap grips and cut to the right, careful, I do not wish to spill urine into the meat. Almost…perfect. I swipe against the tendons below the bottom of the urinary tube, separate it a bit more, and then move up and cut the tube just below the ball sack. The perfect spot to avoid spilling urine. Good, the pelvic bone is presented before me, cleared one hurdle. Now for the ribcage.

I move up toward the upper chest of the deer, inserting the tip of my sword just barely enough to pierce the hide. Insert, and then prick up. A lesson I learned at an early age, to avoid sheering the fur and causing the hairs to intermingle with the red meat. Becomes a nuisance to clean later. I wonder if the oaf knows how to do this. He's married to my sister now, he should know how to keep her alive. How to survive off the land. It's critical to be prepared, and if it comes that they must survive in the wild, he will be useless to her dead. I mean, she could always eat his dead flesh, but I would imagine the experience to be quite traumatizing. Ah, if there is anything my sister and I are well acquainted with, it is trauma. But that is neither here nor there.

I use my left hand's fingers to lift up the skin as I cut through it. There we go, just before the abdomen, just a little red meat exposed, the hide split. And now, I make another small incision, set my sword aside, and use both hands to pull on the hide, tearing more sinew. I then grab my sword with my right hand and insert two fingers into the cavity with my left hand, using my left hand to lift the hide up from the underside. Careful, cut, cut, cut, good, almost back to the pelvic bone. Perfect, the white abdominal lining is exposed, and I could almost see the innards swelling behind it. Carcass still hot, this should help cool it down. Now for the most critical part, removing the innards without spilling the waste sealed inside them.

"Nice kill you got there," I hear some man speak in Japanese. Of course, every kill has its vultures. I sigh and look to my left. A blood red ogre somewhat similar to Goki, with sharp teeth and two white horns. Has a long black beard with no moustache, and is wearing a grey tunic and black trousers. I reply "Wait patiently, and you may have the remnants after I finish harvesting the meat." "Nah, I think I want the whole damn thing." Of course. I reply "Then go back into the forest and hunt one yourself" "Wasn't asking for your advice, midget." How irritating. I reply "There are easier fights in the next continent." I hear the ogre laugh and speak "Oh yeah? Tough talk from an ant like you. I'm going to liquify your spine!"

I drop my sword and move at top speed to face the ogre. "WHAT?!" he shouts, as I leap and strike him in the jaw with my right knee. Teeth and blood fly as the fiend falls on his back. I quickly move to the idiot and press my right foot on his neck. Sneering, I speak "Just to make this clear, I do not wish to dirty my sword and my hands in killing you, so I will simply crush your throat with my foot." Glaring at me with hatred, the ogre mouths off "Eat…shit!" "Hm, I will likely be eating venison instead. Though I must say, those are fascinating last words. Very creative. I will surely remember them."

I press my foot down and watch the ogre struggle, kick, flail weakly at my legs. He repeatedly punches my right foot to no effect, as the life slowly drains from his eyes. It's always a philosophical question when one takes life. The beast. The demon. The human. It's the expression in their eyes. At the end. I'm familiar with it too. Shigure's blade spilling my innards. Being revived in Mukuro's regeneration device.

The expression in their eyes. How easy death comes. To detach the tether of the spirit to the body. It comes eventually to all. I saw it so many times, when I challenged fools to duels, when I goaded them to snatch my tear stone. The moment when the tether snaps, and they…just release their grasp. On this reality. There, I see it now again. Not bliss of course, but almost a type of contentment. Every time, a new thought, a new observation. A new conclusion. Kurama proved this…I think. That…our souls have done their fair shares of dying. And that this ogre will come back again. I may even kill him again. Or her. As an ogre? As a kitsune? A human? A deer? For an eternity?

And what comes at the end of eternity? I do not know if I have existed for forty-one years, for forty-one lives, or for forty-one eternities. How many times have I contemplated these exact thoughts over the corpse of this exact idiot? I can't remember my past lives. What if this is my past life? That I am going to be hurled into that river again. That Yukina will be tortured by that revolting beetle Tarukane, again. That my mother will take her life, again. That I will relive every day again, and again, and again, enduring the same dream with the same damned monster at the end. That we are all Elder Toguro, trapped in the sinning tree.

A female kitsune from Gandara, a believer of a faith that derived from the Hindu deities of human world, once told me that God created Death, and Death created Time, because an eternity without Time is an eternity without Life. That Life is the child of Time, not Death. Oh how I detest King Yama and Koenma and the petty game they play. Their fantasy of being God. I can kill King Yama today, if I so willed it. If I can do so, he is not God. If one can die, one cannot be God.

The lower organs will bloat soon. I am running low on time. Must return to my sowed fields. Yes. This is why it is poor form to wax philosophical while field dressing a kill.

No flies swarmed my kill, thankfully. I place my slightly bloodstained left hand on the white abdominal lining and pull it back, revealing the greyish-green intestines of the deer. I feel the heat of the innards as I pin them back with my left hand, using my sword to cut open a pathway to harmlessly slide them out. One cut, back and forth…done, now for the other side of the pelvic ridge…done. I snap off the bone, covered in red fatty meat, and toss it into the forest. A treat for the local wildlife. Back to my deer, I push on the hind legs and hear the crack of bone, good. The pathway is holding.

Back to the sternum, I cut from low to high, cutting through the middle of the rib cage. I see a shard of bone fling away as I reach the halfway point. Carefully, I try not to nick any of the organs worth salvaging. One more upward cut, and done. There is an appeal in harvesting one's own kill. The creature has departed, but to where? Ascension to humanhood or demonhood? To be reborn as another deer? Or a fish? Or another mindless animal? Or to return to the start of its life? And still, I can see the trails of its life right before me. I can check the contents of its digestive tract, inspect the richness of its meat, inspect the bones for past injuries. I can see just how fit and active this beast was. Placing my fingers around the slit of the ribcage, I prepare to see how many more secrets this beast has left to spill.

One, two, and I pry open, hearing the loud crack of bone. There is the sinew, and there is the heart. First organ worth harvesting on the kill. Surprisingly delicious, rich, somewhat tough to chew raw. Incredibly tender when cooked properly. Requires a water source to flush out the blood inside, ideally a stream. I take my sword and cut along the tendrils of muscle, cut along the heart sac, freeing the heart. I hold it in my bloodstained left hand. A decent amount of white, fatty muscle. Need to trim it off before cooking.

"Hiei, what the hell?!" I hear the oaf shout out, hiding my surprise. I drop my sword on the grass and turn around. There he is, standing on the wooden platform by the compound, dressed in black pants, a white shirt, and this black jacket with buttons on the sleeves. He has grown a goatee beard quite identical to Enki's. Behind him, his sister Shizuru. She is wearing a beige vest over a white shirt, and dark brown pants. I reply "I'm field dressing my kill."

The oaf looks at me and raises his right eyebrow. He asks "Field dressing? Sounds girly, and I don't see any dresses. Just you holding that heart like a weirdo." Erk! I reply "Are you naturally this stupid or did it take practice to hone it? I am harvesting my kill for meat. Then I am going to store the meat in the freezer in the compound. Later I am going to have my dinner. Satisfied?"

His sister Shizuru asks "And that guy over there?" I see she is pointing at the dead ogre. I reply "A scavenger that thought he found an easy meal. He instead found a quick death." A few seconds of time passes without action. Kuwabara suddenly speaks "So, that meat we found in the freezer a few months ago, I thought that was Yusuke's or something. That was you? You been living here?" I reply "I've been living in the general vicinity, yes. I did not see the spirit detective here, so yes, that meat was mine. Now, if you excuse me, I have to harvest it before spoilage sets. If you wish to be useful, provide me with a plate or a tray so I can avoid setting this on the dirt ground."

The oaf returns with a metal tray, while his sister smokes those foul cigarettes several meters away. I place the heart on the tray and speak "Stay here, there are a few more organs to harvest." The oaf replies "Sure, but sorry if I lose my lunch." Ugh, one would imagine he would attempt to learn some basic survival concepts. Why would my sister select this imbecile for a mate?

My sister.

I ask "Why are you and Shizuru here?" I grab the windpipe with my left hand and cut it open with my sword, causing the imbecile to murmur in disgust. I can see the dark flaps of the liver, a truly unique organ. Next one to harvest. He answers "Well, it's Friday, and Yukina is out with Keiko and Botan on a ladies-only outing. And Yusuke and Kurama went to karaoke. So I thought my sis and I could get some fresh air and a break from the city. We just got off from work." So Yukina is not here. Good, I am not emotionally prepared to speak with her now.

I ask the oaf "Hold this side of the carcass." "Ew, why?" "Because I am about the cut through the diaphragm, and I would prefer to do it with precision." He grimaces and places the tray on the grass, causing the heart to roll once slightly, still on the tray. He places the tips of his left fingers on the left flap of the opened ribcage and holds it open. I say "Good, now hold it." I push the right flap aside with my elbow, and make precise cuts along the diaphragm tendons on the left…now on the right. Done. I say "You can let go now." He pulls his fingers away and hurriedly rubs them on the grass, smearing blood.

I speak "Next, I am going to remove the innards and salvage the liver and kidneys." "Liver, kidneys? Eh? Why, they taste good?" "They have a unique flavor. Kidneys used to be a delicacy in parts of the Alaric." "Do they taste like piss?" This man is a buffoon. I reply "No, I certainly would not enjoy them if they tasted of piss!"

I see Kuwabara eying the intestines. He asks "What are those? They look like turds!" "Those are intestines. Seriously, have you ever seen the inside of an animal before?" "Not really, I mostly studied finance and accounting. I mean, there was this one time I dissected a frog but that was in high school." How do these humans expect to survive if they do not know such basic concepts?!

I bite on my sleeves and pull on them, freeing my forearms. I speak "You may want to keep your distance." Tilting the carcass away from the oaf, I reach in with my right and grab the severed windpipe. My hands dig behind the cut gullet, soaked in blood, and I pull and scoop, pulling all of the internal organs off the kill and onto the grass, blood coating the innards. "Never got used to that," I hear Shizuru quip. Hm? Perhaps one of the Kuwabaras has experience with this? "I think I'm going to be sick," the oaf says. I reply "If you are going to vomit, do it somewhere else." "Nah, it's good, I'm good. Alright, what next?"

I grab the dark red liver with my left hand and reach for my sword with my right, severing the liver from the pile of guts. I drop the two red flaps on the tray and speak "Liver. Has a soft texture." I dig through the guts, seeking the silvery treasures. There is one. I grab the silvery bean-shaped organ and cut it free. Dropping it on the tray, I say "Kidney. Needs to be skinned and trimmed of fat." I dig for the other one…there it is. "The other kidney," I say, dropping it on the tray. I then reach back into the opened rib cage and cut out the long red tubes, the tenderloins, since they can be harvested prior to skinning.

"What next?" the oaf asks. I reply "Get these in the freezer, aside from the heart and tenderloins. I will prepare them today. You can leave it on the kitchen counter. Once you return, I will demonstrate how to skin the carcass and remove the rest of the meat. If done properly, should be at least 15 kilograms of sustenance."

I haven't had actual company in nearly a year. Aside from a few demons that tried to filch my hunts, I haven't spoken to someone in several months. Rather ironic that it would be the oaf and his sister. They did bring vegetables and spices, so I may consider myself fortunate in that regard. They will go well with the wild mushrooms I foraged. I had to assure the two that these mushrooms are safe for human consumption.

Using the paring knife on the kitchen counter, I trim off the white sinew of the venison heart. I already had the blood rinsed out of the valves. A little more here, and then here…and that should be enough for now. Will probably encounter more once time comes for the slicing. I look right and Shizuru is chopping the wild mushrooms along with two onions and some garlic, the rich aroma caressing my nostrils. Kuwabara, meanwhile, is staring at the venison tenderloins as if he uncovered a new meaning of life. He speaks "Damn Hiei, look at this thing. I'm surprised, you can eat good with deer." And how did he expect his ancestors to survive? Idiot. He adds "Like, I can't even see any fat on this bad boy. I'm drooling at the thought."

"Drool on the meat and I will stab you," I reply, annoyed. "Someone pissed in your cereal, huh?" Shizuru asks, to my confusion. What in the blazes is this cereal? I ignore the comment and begin slicing the heart into centimeter thick steaks. Kuwabara asks "What do you season it with?" "Back in the Alaric, I would carry this spice mixture to preserve the meat. I haven't tasted anything in human world that has quite the same flavor as it, so there is no comparison to provide." "Yeah, but what kind of spice flavor? Minty? Sweet? Fruity? Smoky?" "What is this 'minty'? Regardless, I would say that the flavor is rather…burnt? Akin to charcoal but not quite. Somewhat bitter." "Yeah, well, we got spices that normal people eat, so let's work with that. Charcoal is meant in the fire, not on the meat. Hey sis, pass me the red chili pepper, cumin, coriander, salt, and sugar. I'm thinking we barbecue this bad boy churrasco style."

"Churrasco?" I ask, in confusion. Shizuru answers for me "My brother is obsessed with these Brazilian steakhouses. Guy blows like a quarter of his salary taking Yukina there, and the rest on trying to copy them at home." The oaf replies "Ah c'mon, the churrascarias are amazing! A buffet and an all-you-can eat spot where people pass by with random meat on spits? Say, do we got red wine vinegar and parsley?" Shizuru opens a few cabinets and slowly answers "Hm…yes, we do. The parsley looks fresh…ish." The oaf replies "Sweet, I can make my patented Kuwabara-style chimichurri sauce!"

Fantastic. My simple meal has now been hijacked by Kuwabara and his bizarre churrasco sauce. Very well, he may do what he wishes with his cuts. I will settle with what I know for mine.

What was originally anticipated as a simple hunt has resulted in an impromptu dinner with the Kuwabara siblings. The spread…I hold my tongue to not humiliate myself but I am rather shocked by the display before me. The siblings clearly know how to cook meat properly, although this green spread they refer to as chimichurri sauce appears rather unusual and somewhat unappetizing. There is a cooked mushroom, onion, and garlic mixture in a bowl in the middle, along with bowls of white rice and small white porcelain containers full of soy sauce. The tenderloins are coated in black pepper, salt, and other spices and sliced in centimeter thick cuts, with an excellent color of red in the middle. Medium-rare, as Shizuru referred to it. Seated, I watch Kuwabara pour us three the libations.

I ask "My sister eats like this?" I am…rather impressed actually. Shizuru laughs and says "Oh yeah, she's a carnivore like the rest of us Kuwabaras." Kuwabara pours his sister a glass of sake, and then walks around to me. I nod and read the label on the black bottle. Kuwabara says "It's called 'Maruishi 'Nito' Omachi'. It's a junmai daiginjo sake." I notice the two red hares facing each other on the label. Finishing my pour, he returns to his spot on the table, and pours himself a glass. And now it dawns upon me, that this is the first time I am sharing a meal with others in more than a year.

Kuwabara raises his glass first, followed by Shizuru. Awkwardly, I raise mine as well, as Kuwabara shouts "Bottoms up!" I watch the two siblings finish their sake quickly and I hurriedly drink mine to meet the challenge. Hmm, an oily taste to the sake, perhaps a melon flavor as well. Not my preference but I can tolerate it. Kuwabara places the bottle in the middle of the table and says "Well, dig in!"

I take my chopsticks and collect one of the small heart steaks. Dipping it in soy sauce, I place it in my mouth and chew. Soft and tender as it should be. I spoon the mushroom, onion, and garlic mixture and place the mixture on my plate, marveling at the caramelization on the onions. I watch Kuwabara take a slice of heart for his plate, with Shizuru following suit. Shizuru says "Alright, let's see how this thing tastes like." She dips her slice in her soy sauce, while Kuwabara spoons the green spread over his slice. Shizuru tastes first, and nods in approval, with Kuwabara following suit. She says "Yeah, I was expecting something a lot tougher to chew, and this just falls apart in my mouth. Nice work there." Kuwabara adds "Oh yeah, you really should bring some of this stuff over to my house. I'm sure Yukina would appreciate it too." Hm. Yukina. My sister. Seeing her again. I haven't seen her since she married this oaf. Haven't seen him since the wedding too. When I revealed to them both that I am her brother. Yukina, as expected, already knew, and Kuwabara, as expected, nearly shat himself.

Feeling bold, I take one of the tenderloin slices and place it on my plate. Spooning some of the vegetable mixture, I consume it and turn toward the green spread. Swallowing, I inquire "That is this Brazilian churrasco sauce?" Kuwabara replies "It's Argentinian, and it's chimichurri sauce. Try it, it's damn good. Yukina likes it." I reach over and scoop some of the spread with a spoon, dropping it over the tenderloin slice. I inspect the spread, somewhat watery, with bits of onion and red chili flakes. Lifting the slice, I insert it into my mouth…

It's surprisingly well prepared. I was expecting something with a more bitter taste but I can enjoy this, certainly. The meat however, I am stunned, the final product is better than anything I ever achieved with venison tenderloin. Incredibly tender, succulent, all of the juices retained. I cannot remember tasting something so properly cooked in years. Not even Mukuro's best chefs could have achieved something like this. Likely because she kept executing them every season.

Kuwabara drinks from his glass of sake and asks "So shorty, what you think? I wish I could have whipped up some chicken coxinhas and black beans but, eh, don't have the stuff to make them. Maybe some other time." I reply "I cannot lie, this was exceptionally well done. It's nice to know my sister is eating well." Kuwabara laughs and says "Yeah, well, our family is originally from Kobe. They know a thing or two about working with dead animals." I notice Shizuru suddenly glaring at Kuwabara, appearing coldly furious, almost threatening to toss her glass of sake at him. Strange. Kuwabara turns to her and says "Hey, don't worry, he won't care or say anything. Or even understand." "Understand what?" I reply, rather confused. Kuwabara waves me off and says "Don't worry about it. More sake?"

"Er…sure?" I reply. I don't quite understand what just happened, but it seems best if I ignore it. Shizuru suddenly asks, as if to shift the topic "So, Hiei, what is it you…actually do now? No one has seen you since the wedding." Yes, that is true. I reply "I have been abouts. Hunting, living a solitary life. Scavenging what I can. Was in the Alaric for a while. I rather not bore anyone with demon world politics." Kuwabara laughs and asks "So, what's up with you and that cyborg lady? Makaru?" "Mukuro, I haven't spoken to her in months. It's…complicated." "Ooo, shorty got himself some lady problems?" Er, what? "Excuse me? If you are implying that we ever had a romantic relationship, you are laughably mistaken. Besides, she's become rather more psychotic since Yomi won the last tournament."

I try the tenderloin with soy sauce, very well prepared. Delicious. Moving toward the heart steaks, I hear Shizuru ask "So, about that? When is the other shoe going to drop?" "Hm?" I reply. "When is Yomi going to give us problems? You know, human world." "Don't know. Ask Kurama." "He hasn't spoken with Yomi for years." "Another falling out?" "It sounded that way when I spoke with him." Fantastic, Yomi is now untethered.

I spread the chimichurri sauce on my venison heart steak. Placing it in my mouth with the chopsticks, my that is quite a unique combination. Could use something more bitter though, or with some smoke. I pour myself another glass of sake and sip from it. And…

Oh that's funny.

I had to stifle my laughter and my smile. I just realized that this is the longest I have gone without returning to my ruminations on life and existence and…

It is as if the straining on my soul prior to their arrival, it is as if that was a distant memory. And…I hesitate to use the phrase…but I am, well…I am enjoying myself.

I am actually enjoying myself with their company. I have forgotten how to do that. I have lived like a hermit, ruminating like Diogenes of Sinope. I have been…living like I used too, after those bandits shunned me during my childhood. Alone, angry, brooding, and possibly insane.

Hm…it's rude to be asked questions and not to ask in response. I inquire "So…I never quite understood, what you two do as a trade?" Kuwabara raises an eyebrow and asks "Eh? Trade? I used to collect trading cards but…" Shizuru interrupts "I'm pretty sure he is asking about what we do for a living. Yeah Hiei, I work as an auditor for the National Tax Agency. You got taxes back in demon world?" I reply "Yes, taxes, tariffs. I am familiar with the term. It's rather up to the whims of the warlords." "Yeah, well here in Japan, it's a bit more standardized. We got it codified and everything. I analyze tax returns and financial statements on some of the bigger companies and flag those worth investigating. Plus other stuff involving statistical samplings and making phone calls with vendors, on rare occasions making trips to the company offices and helping with the raids for the dirty details…I'm probably boring you all right now." I am not sure about Kuwabara but I would consider myself to be quite confused instead.

Kuwabara himself speaks "Yeah, I think you got the gist of that. I'm a loan officer, and I work at a bank. My bank is kinda weird in that I am really a loan underwriter, but for some reason they like sending me out to collect loan collateral. Guess it's cause I look kinda scary, haha." I sigh and reply "Kuwabara, I have not a fathomable idea as to what you just said." "Alright shorty, do you have banks in demon world?" "Banks?" "Okay, maybe not…do you have people in demon world that would loan money and expect interest in return?" "That? Yes, we have institutions for that. Usually the warlords or the more powerful nobility would make out such loans. And I believe we do have these 'banks' you are referring to, although we refer to them as 'Adeshas'. I am not sure what you mean by collateral." "Ah, so when I am reviewing a request for loans, I run the request through this device we got that sees if it should be approved or not. My job is to tweak the device and adjust the numbers when I have to. Sometimes they recommend that I ask for something to hold…uh…'hostage'. In case they do not pay back."

"Some valuables I take it?" "Yes Hiei, basically that." Interesting. Very interesting. He works at an Adesha. A very rich trade for one of the merchant class. This means he has access to monies that are used in human world. As for this 'collateral', I have seen humans toss out apparent valuables often, easily repairable in demon world. And I am certain that some demon world trinkets could be considered valuable in the eyes of humans. Very, very interesting.

I ask Kuwabara "So, these requestors simply approach you and offer their valuables?" He shakes his head and replies "Nah, they got to submit a paper application. They need an address, a name, some identification stuff, a clear reason why they need the loan. I usually deal with small business loans, like for small restaurants and ramen stands, or newspaper stands, or hair salons. That kind of thing. Here, it looks like this." The oaf actually hands me an application. Shizuru laughs and says "What, you trying to get your brother-in-law to open a noodle stand by our house?" He laughs and replies "Nah, and it's harmless. He doesn't even have any ID here. Or a name. Or a birth certificate."

And all of those things can be easily forged if I find the right people.

"What if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: 'This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more.'"

I am not going to find the answers to life and existence by sleeping on a tree branch. Perhaps…

Perhaps…

Perhaps it is time to see why Yukina saw fit to marry a human.

Perhaps it is time to try living like one.