Chapter Text
Babylove
It had been the 31st March 2012. Lando still remembered about it, because it had been eight days before Easter, eight days before he will finally become his new bike, he already looked forward to since such a long time. Every night before he got to bed, he made a cross on the calendar hanging on his wall, after another day had passed and he got so closer and closer to his new bike.
That was why he still remembered about the exact day. The day his twelve-year-old-self had met Carlos Sainz Jr for the first time.
Actually it was a day at the karting track like any other before. Lando had a lot of fun on the track, racing was simply his passion and also when he wasn’t wearing his helmet he still had a good time with his father, brother and also some other young drivers he had already made friends with.
If he was serious, Lando actually didn’t have many friends here on the karting track. Not many liked him, especially not the older ones and above all when he won a race. When he, a twelve-year old boy, won a race, when he was once again better than all of them together, even when most of them were years older and also way taller than him.
But as long as they let him in peace, Lando didn’t bother about that they didn’t like him that much. He still had the support of his family that was everything that mattered to him.
Overall he wasn’t here to make friends. His biggest dream was to become a Formula One driver one day, but most of the time he kept that wish to himself and only talked with his family about his big dream, because some other drivers used to make fun of him because of it. They called him stupid names and told him, that he won’t ever make it, because he was way too tiny, weak and unskilled for that.
Lando didn’t understand why they had to be that mean to him all the time. He had never been nasty to them at all, except when he had beaten them on the track. But that was actually his job here, or? They were here to win races, so he actually wasn’t really mean to them, he was just better than anyone of them, he just did his job.
His mother always told him to not listen to them and he also really tried to, but sometimes their words did still hurt. The day he will sign for his F1 seat, he will think back about them, little Lando promised himself so already since a long time. He will show them all what he was able to do, he will become one of the bests one day. But until that, it was still a long, hard and difficult road up to the best drivers in the world, but Lando was sure that one day he will make it.
The sun was shining and tickled his nose on that still pretty chill spring day back then, when Lando noticed new faces walking around. Shortly after, people already began to talk about it, saying that it were some drivers from the upcoming British Formula 3 season.
All curious himself now, Lando also looked around and to maybe catch a face he had already seen somewhere once. He also tried to listen to what the older ones around him were saying. Lando also followed this motorsport series, he even already was at a few races together with his father and brother and he also knew the names and faces of some drivers.
Oli and he were just working on his kard, when his father came back from talking with some other adults and also some older drivers. “Boys, do you want to get over there as well? If you want, you can also talk with some F3 guys.”
Lando hesitated, always being a little shy and also reserved around strangers, before Oli already took his hand, always being the complete opposite of him when it came to meet new people, and they both finally followed their father.
First Lando tried to hide himself behind his father or brother, while he only eyed the drivers he had either only seen in some videos or from far away all sceptical. He could spot some familiar faces and he also knew some of their names, but of course he was still too bashful to get over and talk to one of them.
But still he looked up to those drivers, who were only a few years older than himself, but they were his dream to become a F1 driver already one, when not even more, step ahead. In a few years Lando also already wanted to be right where they were, at Formula Three.
When Oli got over to some of his friends, Lando searched for protection by his father, especially when some F3 drivers came directly into their direction. Lando only knew one of these five. He was a Spaniard and his father was multiple Rally champion, but he couldn’t remember his name any more.
Exactly that driver happened to stand the closest to him, when the little group joined the conversation of his father and the three other men, one of them was the owner of this karting track.
With big eyes and still half hidden behind his father, Lando eyed the older F3 driver closely, maybe there was already something to learn from him with just looking at him, watch his behaviour and listen to what he was talking about.
Suddenly Oli was back at their sides and like already so many times before he had to annoy and embarrass him in front of everyone. “Are you already hiding again, Land?” He teased so everyone could hear and all eyes were suddenly on him.
Some pair of eyes stayed longer on him, some didn’t even waste more than one second to look at the thin, little boy with his way too big race suit on, probably thinking like most of the other, that he won’t ever make it to become a good driver anyway and wasn’t worth their attention at all.
Lando could feel his cheeks blush and best he had wanted to run away, if stupid Oliver wouldn’t have held him back from doing so. But when he finally dared to look up at the adults and the F3 drivers again, one pair of eyes were still fixed on him.
It were the dark ones from the Spanish driver. He watched him closely and when their eyes met, he even gifted the little boy a smile. Only hesitantly, Lando tried to return the smile for one brief moment, before his instincts caused him to hide behind his brother again.
By now Oli only rolled his eyes about his younger brother’s behaviour any more, before he introduced himself by the Spanish F3 driver. After they had shared some words, Oli pushed his so shy, little brother away from behind his back and instead to where everyone could see him, before he introduced him as well.
“That’s my little brother Lando.” Understanding the Spaniard nodded his head, before he offered him his hand as well and told him with a very pronounced Spanish accent “Nice to meet you, Lando. I’m Carlos.” Slowly the younger one shook the offered hand, but he was still too shy to say anything, also because he didn’t know what to say anyway.
Carlos still gifted him this kind smile and in his eyes he could also see that he really meant it serious, that he was really happy to have met him. After their handshake, Lando was still looking up all admiring at the older one, when the owner of the karting track suddenly joined their conversation and told Carlos “You should better remember his name. Lando is so talented, he will become one of the bests one day, I’m sure about that.” Lando’s cheeks blushed instantly and he shortly hated the man for saying so, because he expected Carlos to make fun of him as well now, like all the others.
But to his surprise, the Spaniard only nodded his head all impressed and noted “Then I really have to remember your name.” With big shiny eyes and a wide grin, showing so the little cap between his front teeth all the way, Lando beamed up at Carlos for his kind words and being one of the less old drivers being nice to him.
And something also told Lando that he didn’t only say so to be kind to him or because his father and some other adults were around. Carlos seemed to be really nice and he believed him every single word he had said. He could feel Oli laying his hands on top of his shoulders from behind, when his brother saw him that happy about the older one’s words, exactly knowing how nasty some other drivers could be to his younger brother and how much he sometimes suffered under it.
When the focus got over to another topic, Lando noticed some older drivers of his category standing close to him, whispering, laughing and pointing their fingers at him. They had probably heard what the man had said about him and his talent and were once again making fun of him.
Like his mother had told him, he tried to ignore them and the faces they pulled at him, because actually he was already used to it after all. Instead, he watched the driver who had been so nice to him. Carlos also talked with his father for a while and also with Oli, while Lando only stood there and watched him closely all the time.
Before they all got their own ways again, Carlos shook his father’s and also Oli’s hand and said good-bye to them. All expectant Lando had waited for the Spaniard’s attention as well, he finally got, when he placed his hand on top of his shoulder and told him still all kindly “Good-bye, Lando. I will see you on track one day.”
For the rest of the day Lando did shine all wide like the sun, after a F3 driver had been so nice to him. He was in his best mood and even hoped for Carlos to maybe watch him race later and being so extra motivated because of that possibility, he once again managed it to be today’s fastest driver.
Lando was happy and satisfied with himself, even when he didn’t get to see the Spaniard any more today. They were actually already on their way to their car, when Lando noticed that he had forgotten his favourite vest by the fences. After he had told his father and brother so, he quickly hurried back to get it.
Luckily the vest was still where he had left it by the fences and after he had shouldered the cloth he just wanted to get back, when suddenly five of the older drivers stood around him in a half-circle and made it impossible for him to get away from here.
“Hey, Lando.” One of them said to him, but the driver didn’t look happy to see him at all. The young Brit swallowed thickly, because he was aware about that none of them liked him. It were always the same five older boys that did obviously hate him the most.
They always tried to intimidate him on track and also off track whenever they could and no adult or no one of his family was close. Lando still didn’t know what he had ever done wrong, that they hate him that much.
“How much has your dad paid him this time to say something like that in front of the F3 guys?” Another boy said, way taller and stronger than he was, while all five of them made one stop closer to where Lando was standing.
Being already now to his bones scared about what they wanted from him and also not being able to understand why they did say such things, Lando pressed his back against the fence and looked all afraid and with already lightly glassy and desperate eyes alternately at them.
“You should better remember his name. Lando is sooo talented, he will become one of the bests one day, I’m sure about that.” Another older driver aped the man’s words from before all nasty, while rolling his eyes. They mocked him, even when it really wasn’t his fault at all. What should he have done? It had been the words from the owner of this karting track and not his own.
“Do you really think that Carlos will remember your name for more than just five minutes? He has better things to do than wasting one more thought about you loser.” Lando also still didn’t understand why they always called him a loser. He had been the fastest today, faster than them, faster than everyone else here. So why did they always have to call him and make him down like that?
Suddenly the boy to his right stepped forward and harshly gripped for his favourite vest to take it away from him. Scared Lando gasped and shrugged together, because the boy had hurt him on his shoulder a little, had also caused him to sway and so to almost fall over because of it.
“When will they ever stop to spread those lies about you becoming a F1 driver one day?” The older one said, before he threw the vest over to his friend. “Because you won’t ever become one. Not in this life and not ever.” The boy, who had caught his favourite vest, he had got to Christmas last year, teased him with a nasty grin on his lips.
“Give it back!” Lando pleaded them desperate, trying to catch it while they did throw it around, unreachable for him. “Oh, is our becoming F1 champion too tiny for getting his vest back?” One of the boys did hold it right in front of Lando’s nose, but just when he had wanted to reach for the cloth, he easily pulled it away again and did throw it over to one of his friends.
“With those reflexes you won’t even get into F3.” They all started to laugh at him, while Lando still tried to get his vest back, even when he exactly knew he didn’t have a chance against just one of them. At least not when they were off the track.
“He won’t ever be successful anyway. I mean, look at him. Look at how tiny and slim he is. He won’t ever be able to reach the gas pedal in an F1 car anyway.” They mocked him about the same things as always and once again it wasn’t even Lando’s fault about him being so small. If he could, he would already be at least as tall as them, so they would finally stop with their tease. But he couldn’t change it and still they made fun of him all the time.
When Lando got it that there was no point for trying to get his vest back, because they did throw it so high that it was unreachable for him, he crossed his arms in front of his chest and began to pout sadly. It only caused the older five boys to laugh at him even more, before one of them asked “What will you do now? Will you start crying, like a little baby?”
Only then Lando noticed how blurry his view had already become and he couldn’t stop his eyes from getting even glassier after they had mentioned it. He just wanted to finally get his vest back and get home. Why did they always have to make fun about him and make him down? It was their all goal to be the fastest, the best, but whenever Lando made it so, they only mocked him even more.
But next to that it was probably also their goal to really cause him to cry, when two of them began to pull onto each of the vest’s sleeve. Lando could already hear how the fabric began to tear and he already saw it rip into two in front of his inner eyes, when someone suddenly said with a loud voice into their direction “What the hell are you doing here? Leave him alone and mess with someone in your size and not years younger, you cowards!”
Of course, Lando instantly knew to whom that voice did belong to, but in contrast to him, the five boys looked all shocked and also embarrassed at the Spaniard coming their ways. “Give it back.” Carlos ordered and suddenly the five boys around Lando didn’t seem that tall any more compared to the F3 driver.
“Not to me, to Lando. And every one of you will apologize by him.” The oldest told them, his voice did sound very demanding, strict and serious. Very fast Lando finally got his vest back and each of the drivers apologized by him, like Carlos had told them to do. It were actually only quick apologizes and probably not even serious meant, but better than nothing.
“And now piss off and let him in peace.” Almost faster than they were with their karts, the five boys ran away as quick as they could. Surprised about how quick they could actually be if they wanted and also what effect Carlos had on them, Lando watched them disappear with big eyes and tears still silently falling down his face.
“You okay, Lando?” He came back to reality, when he heard the Spaniard’s voice and seeing him coming closer to where he was standing and hugging his vest. Quickly the young Brit whipped his tears away with the back of his hand and sniffed loudly, before he nodded his head.
Carlos offered him a comforting smile, before he also wanted to know “Is your vest still whole?” Because Lando himself wasn’t so sure about that himself, he unfolded the cloth and looked at it closely for any holes or something like that.
“Yeah, there is a little hole at the armpit, but mum will probably be able to fix it.” Lando noted and with that he had spoken for the first time to the Spaniard. Carlos smiled to himself, because of his cute child voice, before he told him “It’s a pretty nice vest.”
Happy about to hear that, the younger one smiled up at the Spaniard, before he told him with finally happy and shine eyes again “It’s my favourite vest. I have got it to Christmas last year.” Carlos’ smile grew even wider with that information, but his expression suddenly changed, when he stepped closer to his side and laid once again his hand on top of his shoulder.
“You don’t listen to them, right? They are only jealous because you are way faster than them. Let them say whatever they want. You will go your own way and I also already know right now, that you will be able to become a world champion one day. I have seen you racing today, you are way better than all of them together. You just have to believe in you. I already do so.”
Carlos’ words overwhelmed the younger one. No stranger had ever said something so nice about him and the fact that Carlos had really watched him race today caused a shiver to run down his spine. Also the warm, encouraging smile the older one offered him, touched Lando and he could feel his cheeks blush.
“Do you promise me to not give up, no matter what the other say?” The Spaniard asked, while he looked that soft and trustful way down at him. Wildly agreeing, Lando instantly nodded his head and also promised with words, when he secured him “Yes, I promise.”
Relieved to hear so, Carlos’ smile widened, while he patted his shoulder gently. “Where are actually your father and brother, little one?” He asked then, while looking around if he could spot them somewhere.
Only then Lando remembered about that they were probably already waiting for him. “Oh, they are already at the car and waiting for me. I have to go, mum makes pizza tonight.” He quickly pulled his vest on, because he was too lazy to carry it and so also no one could take it away from him any more.
After he had struggled for some moments to get inside it and close the zip, Carlos suggested well-meant “Do you want me to get you to your father?” Quickly and with his curls now in a mess after wiggling into the cloth, Lando shook his head and meant “Nah, it’s alright. I know the way. Thank you, Carlos.”
“See you around, little one.” The Spaniard called after him and before Lando chased around the corner, he turned around once more to wave good-bye to his new friend.
Of course, his father and brother asked about where he had been that long, before he told them the story in every detail. Even when Oli had stopped to listen to him by the half and put in his earphones, his father at least listened to him, but he was more focused on the part in which the five drivers had bullied him.
Actually Lando was already used to it and he would have liked to talk more about Carlos instead of listening to another talk of his father that he should have called for help and that he shouldn’t listen to what those boys had said to him.
At home, he also told his sisters about what had happened at the track, but also they didn’t join his excitement about Carlos like he had hoped for. At dinner, he finally also told his mother about the happenings, but he only mentioned the five other drivers casual and only focused on Carlos in his story this time, to finally be able to talk more about the Spanish driver.
But still also she got worried about her youngest son and looked at him like she always did, when someone had bullied him. “Yeah, but Carlos has saved me. He is so nice.” The young Brit gushed about the older one, which finally caused Oli to laugh out loud.
“Oh, please finally stop, Land. How many people do you still want to tell that story? Carlos was only nice to you, because he had pity with you.” Angrily the youngest Norris narrowed his eyes at his older brother and also his mother and father gave him a warning look, which caused him to roll his eyes in annoy.
“No, he didn’t. Carlos is my friend.” Lando corrected him angrily and Oli just wanted to chuckle again and probably also say something nasty, when their mother’s look held him up from doing so, when she glared warningly at him once again. In the end he only sighted, shrugged his shoulders and muttered uncaring “If you say so.”
From that day on, Carlos was Lando’s big idol. He tried to get to know everything about him, he even got himself a poster of him, which was hanging right next to his wardrobe in his room and he also followed him on all his social media accounts. Maybe he was a little sad about that he didn’t follow him back first, but after a few days he didn’t even think about it any more.
On the 15th of April and after the first six races of the British Formula 3 championship, Lando had watched every of the races so far and had cheered for his new friend, Carlos did lead the championship with two wins. He had also won the last race in Monza, which he did also mention in his latest Tweet.
Because Lando didn’t have to go to school the next day, it was Sunday tomorrow, he was still sitting with his father’s iPad in the living room shortly before 11 o’clock, when he saw Carlos’ Twitter entry from a few days ago.
And because Lando was really happy for his new friend and his success, he finally answered to his Tweet
Before he finally went to bed, he updated the website every few minutes to see if Carlos had maybe already seen his message and if he had answered him something. He didn’t, which Lando found a little strange, also when he didn’t do so the following days, but after some time he didn’t wonder about it any more and just assumed that he was maybe busy with racing.
One month later, Lando still followed all the F3 races and also checked his friend’s social media accounts at least every three days. And he also still liked to talk about him, especially Lando like to talk with his mother about Carlos, because she always listened to him. And on Sunday the 20th of May was finally a new entry on his Twitter account.
Lando saw the Tweet after lunch and because he didn’t want to miss the race he asked Carlos about what time it will be.
But when he didn’t get an answer even after the next thirty minutes, Lando looked it up himself, because he really didn’t want to miss the race. Carlos was probably already busy with his preparation and didn’t have any time to look at his phone any more.
On Saturday the 9th of June, Lando was currently sitting on their family’s PC in the living room, when he got a notification about a new Tweet from Carlos.
Lando was sorry for his friend’s penalty and he was also kind of angry about it, like the Spaniard himself. He also couldn’t understand it, why he asked instantly, only two minutes after his Tweet
Impatiently Lando was waiting for his answer, because he really wanted to know why his friend had got penalized, but even after two hours Carlos hadn’t written him back. He was probably too angry at the moment to do so, which Lando did understand. He also got frustrated pretty quickly.
During dinner that evening, Oli pleaded him to stop answering Carlos’ Tweets every time, because it was so embarrassing. Lando’s cheeks lightly blushed, he hadn’t known that Oli had seen it or that anyone else expect Carlos could see what he had written.
“Oliver, don’t say something like that. Let Lando do whatever he wants. Besides, he has told us that this Carlos is his friend, so he can write him if he wants.” Their mother rebuked her oldest son and defended her youngest at the same time.
“If Carlos would really be his friend, he would write him back.” Oli still muttered, before he gave his whole attention back to his dinner and the topic was gone. But not for Lando. Maybe his brother was right once. Carlos was five years older than him and yes, maybe he had been nice to him that day at the track months ago, but didn’t friends reply their friend’s messages?
Because of that and also the fact that others, especially his annoying brother could see his Tweets, Lando stopped to do so from that day on. But of course, he still followed Carlos and his career, because Lando still wanted to be part of his life and know how he was doing.
Already over one year had passed, since Lando had met the Spaniard for the first time. Carlos had finished the last season of the British Formula 3 championship on P6. Lando was happy for him, but he didn’t let him know so, still embarrassed about those messages he had sent him and had never got answered.
On Saturday evening the 6th of April, Lando was once again sitting with his father’s iPad on his lap in his room and watched some videos, when he got the notification for Carlos’ latest Twitter entry.
Months had passed since Lando had answered one of his Tweets, why he played with the thought to finally do so again this time. He didn’t want to reply with an ask, too afraid about to not get an answer to his question again, but still he really wanted to comment something and maybe Carlos will like it, if he will come up with something clever.
Lando knew it actually really wasn’t something clever, but he didn’t come up with something better. And like he had already expected it, also this time he didn’t get an answer nor a like or anything from his idol.
Of course, the young Brit still admired his older friend, but he didn’t talk about him in front of his family that often any more. Actually he only talked with his mother about Carlos, when he had won a race or something like that. She was the only one who really listened to him and to also be interested about it, when he gushed and praised the Spaniard.
But that changed, when his father told Lando and his brother, that they will go to the GP3 race in Silverstone at the end of June. The second he got to know so, Lando was extremely thrilled about it and couldn’t wait for it, because he exactly knew that Carlos will be there as well with racing in that category.
He was only talking about the Spaniard for the next few weeks, how excited he was to finally see him again, also to watch him race live for the first time and also maybe being able to talk to his friend again.
Until the day had finally come, Lando actually annoyed his whole family with his excitement and anticipation. His parents didn’t say anything, while his sisters and especially Oli already couldn’t hear him talking about the Spaniard any more.
The night before the GP3 race, Lando couldn’t sleep properly, because he couldn’t wait to finally stand up, get to the racetrack and see his hero. During their drive to Silverstone, Lando was talking continuously and while his father could only smile about his excitement any more, Oli was already really, really annoyed about his little brother and threatened him to embarrass him in front of Carlos, if they should really meet him and he won’t stop talking in the next second.
Even if Lando had wanted, he just couldn’t hide his overjoy and he also couldn’t stop gushing about his hero. He was smiling over both of his ears when they finally made it to the racetrack and he also didn’t stop to beam like the sun for just one second.
During the race, he pointed with his index finger at Carlos whenever he passed them by and told his father and brother so, even when by now they already exactly knew which driver the Spaniard was, after Lando telling them so every lap.
The young Brit was all shaking and nervous, because he was cheering so much for the older one. And even when Carlos only managed P13 in the end of the day, Lando was still very happy for him.
That day was already unforgettable for him, but when Oli and he had just bought themselves something to drink after the race, their father came rushing back to their sides and ordered them to follow him. “Where are we going?” Lando asked curious, while he tried to keep up with his father’s fast steps.
“What do you think where we are going?” Clueless his youngest son only shrugged his shoulders, before his father told him “We are going to your Carlos, of course.” Surprised about to hear so, Lando stopped his steps and looked up at his father with big eyes. “Really?”
“Yeah, really Lando. I have talked with his father and told him about what a big fan of Carlos my son is. So c’mon, I have thought you want to meet and talk to him.” His father urged, before Lando wrapped his arm all grateful around his father’s arm and with Oli in the tow, who suddenly also seemed pretty thrilled about meeting the GP3 driver, they went over to the garages.
If Lando was serious, even when had always wanted to meet his idol so badly, he still got a little nervous, when they came closer to the Arden garage. He stayed close to his father the whole time and bite down all unsure onto his bottom lip.
And then he suddenly saw him coming closer, Carlos together with his father. Lando stared at the Spaniard with a half opened mouth and a wild raising heart inside his chest. He had to admit, that his friend did look different compared to when he had seen him the last time.
Carlos looked more matured than last year, he had also become taller, even taller than the oldest racers in his category and he even already got some facial hair, not even his brother had yet. The man next to Carlos had to be his father, because they looked very alike, but Lando’s eyes were only fixed on his hero and he hoped no one could hear his heart pounding, when they finally stopped in front of him.
First Carlos’ father introduced himself by Oli and then Lando, after his father and Carlos’ father had already talked with each other before, when they had arranged this meeting right here.
And then Carlos finally stepped forward to shake his father’s hand and because Lando was standing in between his father and brother, Carlos gave his whole attention to him next.
Lando could feel his legs getting weak, when the Spaniard’s eyes were suddenly fixed on his and he offered him his hand to greet him. “Hey, little one.” Carlos called him like the last time they had seen each other. But Lando got a little confused, when he suddenly added “Nice to meet you.”
What did he mean with nice to meet you? Carlos acted like they just saw each other for the first time. They had met before, so it was nice to meet each other again. But before Lando could worry about that too much, the Spaniard asked something which finally took the whole breath away from him.
“I’m Carlos. And what’s your name?” With an opened mouth, Lando stared up at his friend or at least at the one he had called his friend over the last months. Did Carlos only joke with him or did he really not remember about his name and that they had already seen each other once at all any more.
He had already hesitated a little too long, till Lando finally brought over his lips with a shaking voice, still being all perplex and a deep frown on his forehead “I’m Lando.” Carlos just offered him one more smile, not able to remember him, before he gave his whole attention over to Oli.
Still completely confused and shocked about what was going on here, Lando had to watch how Carlos also introduced himself by his brother and when Oli had shaken his hand and had told him his name as well, the Spaniard announced “So, I guess you have to be the one, who wants to become an F1 driver one day.”
That was the moment everything became too much for the young Brit. Obviously Carlos really didn’t remember his name nor about that they had already met before, nor that he had even saved him once. For Carlos, Lando was only a little boy, the little brother or son of someone and the worst of all, like all the other he didn’t expect him to become a F1 driver. He hadn’t even wasted one second that he could have been the one with that dream.
Before Oli could clear the situation or his father, who was busy with talking to Carlos‘ dad, Lando ran away. Normally he never did so, he never just ran away. Usually he always searched for his families near when he was feeling uncomfortable or when something had saddened him, but this time he just wanted to get away from here as fast as possible.
He did hide behind some trucks, where he sat down on the asphalt, pulled his knees against his chest and finally let his tears break free. He still just couldn’t understand what had just happened. Lando was so looking forward to this day, to finally see his hero ago and he even got the chance to talk to him, but he only got disappointed and very hurt in the end.
While for him, Carlos had been his idol over the last year, because he had been so nice to him back then and he had also protected him, the Spaniard didn’t remember about him at all any more. Like they had really never seen each other before. While for Lando, Carlos had been everything, he was nothing for his hero.
Now he finally also knew why the Spaniard had never answered his Tweets, because the boys had been right back then. Carlos had probably already forgotten about him again, before he had gone to bed that same day over one year ago.
And also Oli had been right, because Carlos was just nice to him and only because he was kinder than other, didn’t mean he was also his friend. Lando had been so stupid to believe so the whole time long. He had adored the Spaniard and he had also looked up at him as his role model, while Carlos didn’t even remember about his name any more.
And even worse, now also Carlos, his once biggest idol, thought that he won’t ever become a F1 driver with assuming Oli to be his biggest fan instead of him. He hadn’t even asked and overall it was so unfair, because Oli wasn’t even interested to become a race driver, in contrast to him.
Lando was still crying quietly into his hands, while feeling like an idiot, when the familiar voice of his brother came to his ears. “There you are.” Oli said relieved, after he had found him and he had jogged over to his side. The moment he got it that his little brother was upset and had even cried, he kneeled down in front of him and reached out for his shoulder.
“Hey, Land. Stop crying. Why have you run away? It was only a misunderstanding. I have told Carlos about you actually being his biggest fan, not me. He has wanted to talk to you, but I couldn’t find you any more.”
His brother’s words didn’t make the whole situation better for Lando, because he was still endless disappointed about the racing driver he had idolized for such a long time and he also didn’t want to talk to him any more. “I’m sorry that Carlos hasn’t remembered about you, I’m really sorry, but who cares if he remembers your name and that you have already met before, or? I know you like him, but he is still only one of many.”
But not for Lando. For him, Carlos had been everything and it made him angry that his brother talked about his hero that way and it also still upset him that Carlos obviously hadn’t been thinking about him over the last few months for just once.
Quickly the young Brit jumped onto his feet, before he yelled all outraged at his older brother “Leave me alone!” With new tears waving inside his eyes, he tried to get away from Oli, but he didn’t make it far away, because he directly ran into his father’s hands.
“Lando. Come here. It’s okay.” His father tried to comfort him, while his youngest son was crying and sobbing in his arms. “I’m sorry, if I had known..” He trailed off, because it hadn’t been his intention to destroy his son’s opinion about his biggest hero, exactly knowing how much Lando had liked and had looked up to the Spanish race driver.
After Lando had finally calmed down enough, he just wanted to get home, away from here. Compared to their drive to the racetrack, the young Brit was sitting now all quiet and thoughtful at the backseat. Upset he was looking out of the window, watching the buildings and landscapes passing by.
When they finally arrived back home, Lando exactly knew what he wanted to do first. Quickly he hurried upstairs into his room, without even greeting his mother and sister, smashed the door back into its lock and finally tore off the poster of his once biggest hero from the wall.
Tears were rushing down his face like little rivers, while he tiered the poster into little pieces until it was impossible to put the puzzle of little snippets back together. Sitting in the middle of the mess he had caused, Lando cried to himself. He really cried this time, all loud, with sobs, shaking shoulders and a running nose. He let his whole disappointment finally free.
He was still sitting there on his carpet, when he heard someone knocking at his door. His mother’s head peeked inside the room just a few moments later, she instantly got over to her crying son and set down right next to him to take him into her arms, when she saw him like that.
Like she had already done so many times in her life, she gently rocked him back and forth, let him cry out all his sorrows in her arms, while she stroked through his curls and kissed his forehead.
Dad and Oli had probably told her about what had happened, when she carefully told him “I’m sorry, sweetheart. But you know, sometimes our heroes are different from like we have imagined them to be. Why don’t you remember Carlos like he had been to you back then? When he had treated you all nicely and had saved you. I’m sure he hasn’t hurt you on purpose today.”
“I have thought he is my friend, mum. I have thought so the whole time long.” Lando cried into her shirt, feeling still so stupid about believing that an eighteen-year-old GP3 driver could be his friend. “I know, sweetheart. I know.” His mother whispered into his curls, because she was aware about how hard this had to be for her youngest son right now.
She also exactly knew how difficult it was for Lando to find new friends. He had trusted Carlos, had seen a real friend, an idol and also a hero in him all the time and she had known that thinking so had helped her son to develop and become stronger over the last months, but when she saw Lando like that now, all heart-broken and disappointed, she wished to have told him the truth since the beginning.
Because there weren’t any friendships in racing.