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It's wrong. He shouldn't be thinking of that bandit. He should be prioritising the princess's safety. He should be leading his guards to do well.
But instead there Yibo was again, walking through the woods that led him to Xiao Zhan's hideout with his men. The king had been spending months trying to capture these bandits but Yibo didn't let out a word about them. His heart should be heavy with guilt as his steps get nearer to the place. But it wasn't. It's filled with excitement and longing. Longing to see Xiao Zhan's face again after a few weeks because the security at the royal kingdom had been tightened yet again and it's Yibo’s duty to serve and guard the princess at all times.
He reached the innermost part of the woods, seeing the small huts and some men hanging around, chatting and eating around the campfire. Yibo hid behind a large tree, hoping he could easily spot Xiao Zhan before his men spots him first. They know he's in a good relationship with their leader but they still don't trust him. He overheard once when Xiao Zhan's right hand man reminded him not to be blinded. "How do you know we can trust him? For all you know he might just be waiting for the time to trap you and capture us all for his royal master. He's a royal dog after all."
Yibo couldn't blame them for not trusting him. The things the royal family had done to other groups of bandits had been cruel and heartless. Sure, they steal. But sometimes even the innocent lives were being put at stake when all they did was trying to survive.
But Xiao Zhan gave a small smile. "Do you trust me?"
His right hand man didn't hesitate to assure him that he does.
"Well then, trust him. Coz I trust him."
It's no lie that Yibo’s heart fluttered when he heard Xiao Zhan's response and he wanted to just jump on him, hugging him so tight Xiao Zhan would have to cut his arm off to make him let go. But being the cool captain he was, he quietly walked back to where they were drinking and sat beside Xiao Zhan. He looked up at Yibo and Yibo simply smiled.
A strong tap on the shoulder made Yibo go into fight mode immediately, twisting the arm of the person behind him and pinning him to the tree. Yibo's frown softened when he saw Xiao Zhan's face in front of him.
"Aren't you the intruder here?"
Yibo let him go, stepping back a little. He cleared his throat and looked away from Xiao Zhan. He heard the man scoffed lightly. Yibo glanced at him and he was looking right at him. His gaze was soft but he felt like Xiao Zhan was hiding something.
"You're back."
"I am."
Xiao Zhan nodded and led him to where they usually drank together.
He was right when he suspected Xiao Zhan was hiding something from him. The man had been quiet, giving one word answers to his questions. Xiao Zhan swirled his bottle in his hand, staring at the liquid swishing inside.
"Is something bothering you?"
Xiao Zhan shook his head quietly. Yibo knew it was wrong. It was risky. But he couldn't help but to reach out and place his hand on top of Xiao Zhan's gently. Yibo closed his hand, caressing the back of Xiao Zhan's hand with his thumb. He stopped swirling the bottle but did not look up at Yibo.
"You don't want to see me anymore?" Yibo asked carefully. It took a while but finally Xiao Zhan let out a soft sigh.
"We're leaving. Tomorrow."
Yibo spent the night in Xiao Zhan's hut. It was dark but the little source of light from outside seeped through the gaps of the hut, making it easier for Yibo to look at Xiao Zhan's face. They were lying beside each other but Xiao Zhan was facing up while Yibo had his head turned to him.
"Where are you going?" Yibo asked softly.
"There's another village. Far from here. It's a small one but it's enough for us."
Xiao Zhan felt the guard captain resting his forehead beside his head. His lips were close to Xiao Zhan's ear that he could feel his breath. "Will you come back?"
The crickets were especially loud that night. Yibo was particularly daring. Touching his hand at first. Now leaning his head onto him, making it harder for Xiao Zhan to breathe properly. But the bandit wasn't moved. He will still leave. He has to.
"I don't know."
He felt Yibo move away but he didn't expect the other to prop his body up with his elbow, hovering over him. Everyone was asleep except for the few men that's stationed to guard for the night. Even if they weren't, no one would dare to barge into the leader's hut. There was no lock but it's basic respect that they don't disturb the leader especially at night.
Hence there was no good reason for Xiao Zhan to be this nervous. Yibo's face was inches away from his own. He's grateful for the darkness for hiding most of his face. He's not ready for his broken composed leader outlook to be seen. Especially not by Yibo.
"What are you doing?"
He could hear Yibo gulping. Despite the darkness he could still see his eyes looking right at him as if searching for an answer.
"Can I?" His voice was soft, filled with care and uncertainty. Very unlike him.
Xiao Zhan knew what he was asking for. He could play dumb. Or he could give him an answer.
He took a breath and closed his eyes.
Xiao Zhan felt Yibo pressing his soft lips onto his own. When he returned the kiss, Yibo saw it as an approval to deepen it, sneaking his tongue into Xiao Zhan's mouth. The two kissed for a long time, grabbing at each other's clothes, only parting a few seconds to gasp for air. The desperation to remember each other's taste and touch heightened the beats of their hearts.
Yibo finally pulled away gently, resting his forehead on Xiao Zhan, panting softly.
"Come with me."
Xiao Zhan scoffed. "And leave my men?"
He turned his head away, pushing Yibo off gently. "They need me, Yibo."
"I need you too."
Xiao Zhan closed his eyes, not wanting to hear those words. He wanted to erase them all. Erase the first time he gave in to his desire and brought Yibo to his hideout. Erase all the memories that involved him in it. He knew this would end. How stupid of him to think it would be easy.
"I can bring you to the palace. You can be a royal guard."
"I don't want to be one." He turned his head sharply to Yibo. "I'd rather die than to serve the king."
His heart shattered a little seeing Yibo’s face. But they both know it's true. And if given the chance, Yibo wouldn't want to serve the palace as well.
Xiao Zhan's hard look softened as Yibo went forward and pulled him into an embrace. He buried his face into the crook of Xiao Zhan's neck and breathed deeply but calmly. Yibo doesn't want to fight with him tonight.
The leader closed his eyes and let his hand rest onto Yibo’s chest. Silence loomed over them, with just their soft breathing that could be heard.
"Stay here until I sleep."
"I always do."