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It was a beautiful day at Garreg Mach Monastery. Students and teachers were out and about on the grounds mingling, the birds were singing in the trees, and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky.
Leonie had just finished her morning training and was heading back to her room to rest for a bit when she happened to see Professor Byleth walking into her own room. After the Professor came to the monastery, she was put in charge of the Black Eagles house, and recently Leonie decided to join her class. Not only was she the daughter of her hero, Jeralt, the Blade Breaker, but she was Leonie’s rival as well, and what better way to surpass ones rival than to learn all their techniques first hand? In fact, Leonie had been meaning to talk to the Professor for a while. She wanted to hear more stories about Jeralt and mercenary life.
“Professor! Wait up!”
Byleth stopped as she was walking into her room and turned around. Leonie jogged up to her with a smile on her face.
“Hey Professor, got a minute? I was hoping we could talk about some stuff, if that’s okay?”
Byleth nodded and let Leonie into the room. Leonie sat down in the chair at the desk and Byleth shut the door behind them.
“What can I help you with?” said Byleth, sitting on her bed.
“Could you tell me a little more about what it was like living with Jeralt and working as a mercenary with him? I’ve heard plenty of stories from him and other mercs by now, but I figured you’d have a unique point of view on that stuff, you know?”
Byleth was quiet for a moment and put a hand up to her chin in thought. She was, for the most part, not a talkative person. She tended to teach by example or action more than with her words, and when she did speak it tended to be very matter of fact. Being a person of few words made her come off as someone wise and coolheaded, but at times it made Leonie nervous, it was hard to gauge what she was thinking.
“I’m sorry, but what exactly do you mean? Is there anything specific about mercenary life you wanted to know?” asked Byleth, looking slightly lost.
That was another thing: her expressions. When Byleth emoted, it was always only about ten percent as expressive as anyone else. Her frowns were barely perceptible and her smiles were weak at best. When she was surprised she’d only look phased for a moment before going back to her normal, almost blank expression. Leonie had never met someone as stone-faced as the Professor.
“Well, honestly I want to hear everything, but for starters… You had a nickname as a mercenary, the “Ashen Demon,” right? Jeralt told me that you started getting called that because you didn’t show an ounce of emotion on your face when you’d cut down your foes. I’ve seen you fight a few times now, so I know what he was talking about, but how did you learn how to do that? It wasn’t training from Jeralt was it? Or did you take acting lessons or something?”
“I, well...”
Byleth paused and tilted her head a little. Leonie wasn’t sure if she was confused or just thinking, but decided to try and explain further.
“I mean, I know you’re pretty reserved around the monastery, but everyone feels something when they go into battle, right?”
Byleth closed her eyes for a moment, and when she opened them she looked straight into Leonie’s.
“Leonie, do you remember the first time you killed someone?”
“What? I...” said Leonie, not expecting to be asked that. “Yes, I happened to be visiting a coastal town a few years ago when it was attacked by pirates. I ended up killing one of them while helping fend them off.”
“How did you feel after doing that?”
“Um, well I didn’t feel guilt, since I knew I needed to do it, but I was sick to my stomach for a few days. It was difficult to eat, and I kept having dreams of the feeling of my spear piercing the pirate’s chest.”
“The first time I killed someone was over ten years ago, when I was still a child.”
“As a child…?”
“Our mercenary group was traveling somewhere when we were attacked by bandits. My father told me to hide in the caravan while he and the others fought them off, but in the middle of the battle one of the bandits managed to sneak onto the caravan. I picked up a sword and lept at him, knocking him onto the ground outside and simultaneously stabbing him through the neck. I stood up and watched him, he writhed for a little bit, and then stopped moving. I had never killed someone before, so I wasn’t sure if he was going to get back up, and I ended up just staring at his body for a while.”
Leonie didn’t realize it, but at some point she started clenching her teeth and gripping the sides of her seat. This wasn’t the kind of story she thought she was going to hear. Despite that, the Professor remained completely calm, to a somewhat unnerving degree.
“While I stared at him, I noticed something I hadn’t ever thought of before. I looked at the man’s head, and, even though he wasn’t wearing a mask, I couldn’t see his face. I knew that he must have eyes, a nose, and a mouth, but for some reason I couldn’t see them. I could see my father’s face, and my own when I looked in a mirror, so why couldn’t I see this person’s? I looked around the battlefield and tried to make out the faces of the other bandits and mercenaries, but the only one I could see was my father’s.”
“You couldn’t see their faces?” said Leonie, trying to not show how freaked out she was.
“I told my father this after the battle was over and he seemed… Concerned, and told me to not speak of this to anyone else. I suppose I’m going against his wishes now, but he never explained to me why I shouldn’t tell anyone. After that I started paying closer attention to the people we interacted with, I could see some of their faces, sometimes shopkeepers, or knights, or random people in the street, but more often than not, they all just looked blank to me.
“You said that everyone must feel something when they go into battle, but for me, almost every person I fought was blank and expressionless. It was almost like they were mannequins carrying swords and spears that someone lined up for me to cut down, just to give me something to do.”
Leonie could no longer hide the shock on her face. People, real people being described as mannequins like they were nothing was the most horrifying thing she had ever heard. Was this really the person who had been raised by Jeralt? What kind of monster was she?
“That being said...”
Leonie shuttered at the Professor’s voice now, not only was she scared to hear what she’d say next, but this was the most she had ever heard her say.
“...Ever since I came to the monastery, I’ve been able to see so many faces, Edelgard, Dorothea, Marianne, and many others… It’s really been wonderful.”
“And...” Leonie hesitated, fearing the answer but needing to ask, “what about me? Can you see my face?”
“Oh, Leonie,” a small smile crept onto the Professor’s face, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “You have a beautiful face.”
The Professor kept smiling but the blank look in her eyes didn’t change. No, rather than blank, it was more like there was something behind her eyes that was so far away that Leonie couldn’t see it. The feeling of dread that Leonie felt wasn’t abated at all, she wasn’t exactly fearing for her life, but she couldn’t tell the Professor’s intentions at all.
“You… You’re on our side right, Professor?” said Leonie, looking down now, as she could no longer bring herself to stare into Byleth’s eyes.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re going to keep teaching your students, and fighting along side us, and that’s never going to change, right?”
“Leonie, I’ll always be here to protect you, and I’ll cut down any enemy we see along the way. After all...”
Byleth put a hand on Leonie’s shoulder and her head snapped up to meet Byleth’s gaze.
“...Without faces, it’s not like they’re actually people.”
Leonie quickly excused herself. When she stepped outside, she looked around, hoping to find something to ground herself after everything she just learned.
For some reason though, the babbling of the students around her wasn’t as clear as it was before. She couldn’t quite make out the words. There were no birds singing, and the vast, empty sky brought her little comfort.