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forever changing, while simultaneously stuck in time

Summary:

Matsuno Osomatsu has emotions, and those emotions often aren’t as controlled as he would like them to be.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter 1: warm air with a cloudy mind

Chapter Text

He was anxiously awaiting her arrival, this was his first date with Nyaa chan, a famous idol, so of course he was nervous. Not to mention the fact that they were dating! Osomatsu never thought something like that would ever happen to someone like him. He couldn’t believe his ears when she had confessed to him. He honestly didn’t think he would ever have a chance with a girl like her. She is funny, charismatic, bold, talented… he is the opposite, how could she like him? Him of all people. He was jobless, lives with his parents, mooches off of them for god sakes.
He also has 5 younger brothers to deal with. He was shocked with himself on how he could get someone as normal and as pretty as Hashimoto Nyaa chan. It was insane. Choromatsu didn’t take lightly to the news. When Osomatsu had told them that him and Nyaa chan were a thing, he remembers it so well. Choromatsu just stood there for a second and then started crying. It was really awkward. It’s not like he feels bad, though. Choromatsu is such a creep to Nyaa chan. Yeah she’s an idol, but still… Nyaa chan said that Osomatsu was like a breath of fresh air to her, yeah he looked like Choromatsu, but in no way acted like him. He was so much more normal and laid back than his younger brother. Choromatsu was Nyaa crazy, and Osomatsu honestly couldn’t care less. That’s what she loves so much about him.
He remembers the night Totoko chan confessed her feelings for him. After he had said he was with Nyaa chan, and apologized, she walked away sobbing. He felt horrible, he had always wanted her, it was always her, Totoko chan, his everything, jealous of Nyaa chan and sour with Osomatsu’s decision. But that didn’t matter.
Totoko chan was great, she was a really good listener, and it makes it easier to vent to her because of that. She has always been there for him, his grounding support, his shoulder to cry on, his everything, so of course he had feelings for her, he did since childhood. But now it’s different, he has a girlfriend now, one who isn’t Totoko chan. In the back of his mind he always kinda knew that he and Totoko chan might not work out. Even so, he knew that they were perfect for eachother. He just needed to see other people before he could realize she was the one and always has been. Osomatsu’s thoughts were interrupted by Nyaa chan’s voice. “Osomatsu!” she said sweetly, he snapped out of it and looked up at Nyaa chan, wow…. She’s so pretty. He really scored big, huh? “Oh! Nyaa chan! Hi!” he beamed. God she was pretty. How had she always managed to brighten the entire room just by being there?
Nyaa chan sat down across from Osomatsu. “So! How are things?” she asked. “They’re good.” he mentally beat himself up because his response was so dull. The last thing he wanted to do is let his girlfriend know he was jumping mental hurdles on their first date. “Everything okay?” shit. She caught on. “Y-yeah!” he answered, gah that sounded so fake. Sorry Nyaa chan! “No, tell me what’s bothering you.” Osomatsu flinched. How? Is she god? Is she actually a god? How did she- how could she have- “Osomatsu?” he snapped out of it. “Ahh sorry I was just busy with something at home y’know? You know how my brothers are, I’m just tired is all!” he smiled convincingly. It’s not like he was sad, but more like, he had a lot on his mind, kind of weighing him down. This whole, Totoko chan and Nyaa chan thing is kinda weird for him, like, he has zero experience with love, he doesn’t know the first thing about having a girlfriend. What if he screws up? What if he accidentally says something and she gets angry or upset at him. He seems like he would be able to handle it on the outside, but really he would just crumble at the slightest amount of pressure put on to him.
“Okay… well, if you need anything, let me know. I love you.” she replied. Wow, the last time he had seen Nyaa chan this serious was when they hadn’t been together and she had a thing for him. Why does everything have to be so hard… “Osomatsu, if you’re just tired, you can go home.” she said, sternly but sweetly. “U-uh no no no. this is our date, our first date, I don’t wanna be the one to ruin it for you.” he replied meekly. “Don’t worry! It’s alright.” she replied, smiling. He wanted to cry. “Can we still spend time together? Like, at one of our houses or something…?” he asked. “Yeah of course! Uhhh Dobusu san is taking care of the baby, and I don’t want her to get in the way of our time, so should we go to your place?” she asked, honestly not expecting a positive response. “Ahh, I don’t really think that’s the best idea, my brothers will ruin everything.” he replied disappointingly. “Then… how about a hotel?” she asked. “A-a hotel??” he replied. Why was he so flustered? “I’m sure there’s one in the area that doesn’t need a reservation beforehand right? My treat! “ Nyaa chan happily stated. “Are you sure?” he felt bad. “Yes of course!” She smiled and took him by the arm. “I love you, Osomatsu, I would do anything for you, okay?” he really wanted to cry. “A-alright, thank you.” his voice cracked. They held hands as they left the cafe.
Why was he feeling like this? Why was he acting like this? This wasn’t him. This wasn’t Osomatsu. So why? Why was he acting so soft? Why was he acting more like Karamatsu than himself? “Ahh, I’m looking at hotels in the area, and there are some that don’t need reservations beforehand!” Nyaa chan says happily. Osomatsu looks up. “The one I’m looking at is um…” Nyaa chan blushes, suddenly timid. “A-akatsuka Hotel of Love” she stutters out. Osomatsu’s face turns red. He nods his head and looks down. Nyaa chan and Osomatsu hold hands as they walk to Akatsuka Hotel of Love. Osomatsu is kicking rocks while holding hands with his girlfriend as his mind races. ‘What about Totoko chan? How long are Nyaa chan and I gonna last? Something might happen, it might be bad, what will I do then? What if my brothers get angry at me and leave? I don’t want them to leave again. I can’t believe Totoko chan likes me, what about her? I love her, but I have a girlfriend, I love Nyaa chan, I really do… but, I have been chasing Totoko chan since I was a child, my dreams came true… but Nyaa chan, I care about her so much, I would never do anything to harm her… I just..’
Osomatu’s thoughts were interrupted by Nyaa chan. “We’re here! Wow, it's quite big!” Osomatsu shook off his feelings, pushed them down like he normally does, and smiled. “Yeah! I’m excited!” he replied. Nyaa chan smiled at him and looked at the trees, it was a wonderfully warm spring afternoon, the trees had leaves on them, the cherry blossom trees in full bloom, a wonderful afternoon to spend with your boyfriend. They walked into the hotel and checked in, they took their room key and headed up the elevator. Unlocking the door, they both stepped in. The room was beautiful, a patio leading to the sights of the greenery and city below, shops and restaurants illuminated in the afternoon light. The hotel room had a big area with a queen sized bed, a kitchen, and then split off to a big bathroom with a large bath. It was perfect. Absolutely beautiful. Nyaa chan cheered and ran over to the bed and jumped on it. Laughing while laying on the bed staring at the ceiling. Osomatsu followed and sat on the bed. God why did he have to be such a virgin… this is ridiculous, he should be better than this, c’mon Osomatsu, straighten up! Nyaa chan pulled on Osomatsu’s arm, bringing him down to lay on the bed with her. He started at the ceiling with her. She looked over to him. “Isn’t this great, Osomatsu?” she rolled over and cuddled up next to him, resting her hand on his chest and hiding her face in his shoulder, then to look up at him. Osomatsu’s face dusted with pink. He looked to the side to face his girlfriend. He closed his eyes and smiled. “Yeah, it is.” for the first time today he finally had a moment of clarity.
“Hey! So, we got a lot of time, it's only 6, let’s go have some fun!” Nyaa said excitedly as she sat up in bed. Osomatsu followed suit and sat up next to Nyaa chan. “Sure!” he replied, smiling bright. “There’s that smile I have been missing this whole time!” she smiled and hugged him. That hug felt great, he needed that. Osomatsu hugged back. Nyaa chan let go of the embrace. “Let’s get dinner first!” Osomatsu nodded, they got off of the bed, “then after we are done for the night, we can order room service!” Nyaa chan smiled at Osomatsu. Osomatsu felt a warm feeling in his chest. For a while his worries had left him. They exited the room and got into the elevator, then proceeded to leave the hotel to look around town for a good place to eat. “I heard there was a good Ramen place, that sound good?” Nyaa chan asked. “Sounds good to me!” Osomatsu enthusiastically replied. “Great!” Nyaa chan held Osomatsu’s hand as they walked through the town. The lights from storefronts and street lights illuminating in front of them as they walked to the Ramen place. The warm breeze blowing through their hair and the smell of spring was refreshing. The stone path they were walking on felt nice and smooth on their shoes and the flowers in the cracks between the stone squares had been beautiful. Birds flying in the sky above as the light clouds contrasted nicely against the sky. “It’s just down the street!” she grabbed Osomatsu’s hand and started to walk faster down the street to Fujio Ramen. It was like a scene in a movie, Nyaa chan was pulling him along very cinematically. They walked to the door of Fujio Ramen, the wonderful smell immediately hit them as they entered the Ramen place.
“Welcome! I can help who’s up next!” Nyaa chan pulled Osomatsu to the front of the restaurant. “Table for two please!” Nyaa chan smiled. “Alright come with me!” The three walked through the restaurant, there were fish tanks the size of walls, multiple colored fish swam up to them as they passed by, the place was gorgeous. Osomatsu sighed and relaxed as he looked at his girlfriend, having the time of her life, at a Ramen place. She looked so cute, smiling all happy about Ramen. Well, who could blame her? This place was beautiful. They sat down at their table and looked at the menu. “Hmmm, I think I’ll go with…. Shoyu sounds nice! What about you Osomatsu?” she asked. He looked at the menu for a second, “I think uhh, Tonkotsu sounds alright to me!” he smiled at her. “Okay!” Nyaa chan called over the waiter so their orders could be taken. A girl came over with poofy curly hair, hey, isn’t that Todomatsu’s friend? It's cool that she works here. “I’ll take the Shoyu and for him, the Tonkotsu please!” she nodded and wrote that down. “And for drinks?” “I’m good with water.” Osomatsu replied, “same here!” Nyaa chan agreed. Osomatsu didn’t want to spoil their night by drinking beer, even if it wasn’t that much, it wouldn’t be like this if he wasn’t on a date. “Sounds good! Your order will be here very soon!” she smiled and walked away. “I recognize her! Doesn’t she work at that coffee shop?” Nyaa chan asked. “Yeah, she’s one of Todomatsu’s friends.” Osomatsu confirmed. “Oh cool!” Nyaa chan said.
Things went quiet between Nyaa chan and Osomatsu for a second. ‘Why is Osomatsu acting different? Usually he is more, hmm what’s the word… he usually is… not like this! His look is so distant, he hasn’t smiled often, and when he does it doesn’t look right. What’s wrong Osomatsu? You said you were okay, you said you were just tired, I’m your girlfriend, you think I haven’t noticed? That faraway look in your eyes tells me everything. My intuition is going mad, I’m a woman, Osomatsu, there isn’t much you can hide from me.’ “hey Osomat-” Nyaa started. “Enjoy!” the waitress put the Ramen and drinks on the table, smiled and said, “if you need anything, call one of us over okay?” Nyaa chan nodded. “Thank you so much!” The waitress smiled and nodded, then walked away. Osomatsu and Nyaa chan clapped their hands together, “let’s eat!” they both said, wow that Ramen was good. “Good huh Osomatsu? How is yours?” Nyaa chan asked. “It’s really good! How’s yours?” he asked. “Amazing!” she smiled. “So,” Nyaa chan started “how are things at home?” Nyaa chan knew, this is how she could catch him lying about things going on at home, so she could get to the core of what was really bothering Osomatsu. “Oh not much…” Osomatsu droned on. “It’s y’know, the same as usual, with Pachinko with the bros, and Hybrid Oden…” his voice quieted at the end of the sentence. Nyaa chan ate for a second then continued. “How are your brothers?” Osomatsu looked up after eating some of his Ramen. “They’re good, y’know, annoying.” he replied dryly. “Just as brothers are.” Nyaa chan chuckled. Nyaa chan kept trying to work her way into Osomatsu’s thought process but to no avail. Maybe later, for now, Nyaa chan forgets about it and just enjoys the time they’re spending together, why not try to get Osomatsu to forget about whatever is bothering him for a while, then try to break him open later. “That was good, huh?” Osomatsu asked, taking the last sip from his water as he pushed his empty bowl in front of him. “Yeah! I’m so glad we came here! It was wonderful.” The waitress came back. “All set for your check?” she asked. “Mhm!” Nyaa chan confirmed. “That’ll be 2,000 Yen!” she smiled and put the check down. Nyaa chan got out her wallet. “On me, you already paid for the hotel, I can handle this, my treat.” he smiled at her, this one looking more soft and genuine. She smiled back, “you two are too cute!” the waitress giggled. “Aww thank you!” Nyaa chan said sweetly. Osomatsu loved it when Nyaa chan did that sweet voice, he absolutely loved it when she did that. He took 2,000 Yen out of his wallet and put it on the check, he left a tip. “Have a nice night you two!” she smiled sweetly as Osomatsu and Nyaa chan got up from their seats and held hands while they walked back the way they came. “Have a nice night!” the guy at the front desk called to them. “Thanks, you too!” they both called back at the same time. Wow, the time goes by super fast, the sun is more than halfway setting now. “Alright! What do you wanna do next Nyaa chan?” Osomatsu asked as he looked over at his girlfriend. He stopped talking and just looked at her. She was staring at the sunset with a beautiful glimmer in her eyes. She smiled at the sunset. “Osomatsu look, isn’t it pretty?” she asked, stars in her eyes. “Yeah, it is really pretty isn’t it?” He replied, just then Nyaa chan brought his face towards hers and connected their lips, Osomatsu’s face flushed red as she kissed him, he was stiff at first but then melted into the kiss. They separated. “Wanna go to an arcade?” Osomatsu asked. “I know a good one around!” Nyaa smiled, “sure! Let’s go!”