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She remembered watching Anna and Kristoff leave without her like it was yesterday. However, watching them leave, watching them return to Arendelle without her, didn't bring feelings of regret. She didn't feel wistful. No, if she was honest with herself, she almost felt relieved. She had had to return a day or two later to officially step down as the Queen and hand over the crown to her sister, but in that particular moment, when she watched Anna and Kristoff leave, boulders had been lifted from her shoulders and heart.
Now, she could spend her days in the Enchanted Forest – in her mother's home – as she did now, lying on her back with her feet dangling in a lake. There were still moments when she felt almost embarrassed to be caught in such a leisurely position, as it was unfit for a Queen. More often than not did she still have to remind herself that, now, she could do as she wished, away from prying eyes, away from critical gazes.
"My Queen."
Elsa scrambled up, her face burning immediately. She was about to conduct herself as it would befit someone of her status and only relaxed when she heard Honeymaren's snickers. Turning with a playful glare, she had to giggle delicately herself at the young woman's clumsy courtesy.
"Still not used to your freedom?" Honeymaren asked while taking off her boots, rolling up her pants to her knees and joining her by the lake.
Elsa, albeit a bit hesitant, relaxed again and returned to her earlier position. She looked up to see Gale, the Wind Spirit, playfully rushing through the slowly drying leaves of the trees.
"Indeed," Elsa answered after a while. "All my life I've been prepared to be Queen, to one day take over from my father." That moment came, unfortunately, much too soon. She smiled, sadly at first, but exhaled slowly to settle her aching heart. Seeing her mother in Ahtohallan had reopened that wound if finding the shipwreck hadn't already. "It is quite the change to have this much time and freedom at hand."
"I can imagine," Honeymaren said half-jokingly.
Elsa chuckled. "I know. I know." She looked at Honeymaren with understanding and reached her arm out to briefly touch her hand. "It couldn't have been easy for you – any of you – either. I can't begin to understand what it must have been like to grow up without seeing the sky once." We've both been prisoners in some way.
It was that fact that made it so easy to bond with her. Plus, Honeymaren reminded her both of herself and Anna. Gentle and considerate, sharp and witty. It was a funny mix and it made her all the more appreciative of her presence and companionship.
"It really wasn't. But," the Northuldran said as she pulled her feet out of the water, "let's not wallow in sad thoughts when there's our new freedom to enjoy." Elsa was a bit startled when there was suddenly a hand stretched out in front of her face. "Care for a ride?" Honeymaren asked.
She looked up to Honeymaren and nodded with a smile, taking the offered hand.
As she pulled herself up, as if on cue, the Nøkk appeared from the lake, whinnying gently. Elsa reached out and gently stroked its watery flank before imbuing it with her magic and solidifying its body. She then turned to her new friend and smirked at her wide-eyed expression.
"Still not used to my magic?" she asked with humour.
Honeymaren shook herself and answered with a nervous laugh. "It's not just that," she said. "To have any of the spirits suddenly be so...I don't know...is docile the right word? Peaceful? It's...weird. I've grown up to always be wary and afraid of them. They used to be so angry and aggressive." She reached out a careful and shaking hand, touching the now icy body of the spirit. "This…"
Elsa smiled. "I understand."
A wide grin was threatening to split her face in two as the wind whipped past her, making her hair dance wildly behind her and probably in her companion's face. Honeymaren wasn't complaining though. She was pressed tightly against her back, her arms locked around her midriff.
Elsa had offered her a ride on the Nøkk, after asking the spirit for permission. Now that their anger had been subsided, the spirits were a lot more agreeable and even a bit playful. Well, 'a bit' wasn't exactly accurate for Bruni and Gale.
"How do you not get cold? My behind is freezing!" Honeymaren yelled in her ear, making her laugh.
"Cold doesn't bother me," Elsa answered. "Do you want to take a break?"
"No way, this is fantastic!"
Elsa glanced behind her, the grinning Honeymaren making her own grin go even wider if that was at all possible. The Nøkk's frosty hooves stampeded across the forest, the scenery rushing past them, trees and leaves and grass and thickets all becoming a mixture of colours and the rushing wind turning sounds of the forest into a cacophony. It was beautiful.
Only when she reached the large body of water leading to Arendelle did she stop, barely able to make out the Kingdom and its castle on the horizon.
"Do you miss it?" Honeymaren asked after a while of silent watching, still with her arms wrapped around her; though she did gently loosen her grip.
Did she miss it? It was a difficult question. "I'm not sure," Elsa answered honestly. "I certainly miss seeing Anna. We've...not seeing her every day isn't easy after everything." She sighed. "I've grown accustomed to so much in Arendelle. It will take a while...but I know I've made the right decision."
"I'm glad you think so."
"You are?" She found that a bit surprising, but pleasing nonetheless. "People say that home is where the heart is. My heart will always be with my sister. But my soul belongs here. I know what I am now."
"Don't you feel like this is your home? With the other spirits?" Honeymaren asked.
Home. It's so easy to define and yet so difficult at the same time. "It will be. Eventually." She was sure of it.
"I know you'll grow to like it. You know, life with us and the spirits out here."
Elsa chuckled. "I already enjoy myself a lot, don't you worry about that."
"Good."
It was good indeed.
Elsa took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.
She'd make her second home here. Eventually. There was no rush, no pressure. She was free.
One step at a time.