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"Hmm hmm... Hmm hmm without you..."
Baekhyun can faintly hear this soft voice humming as he went inside his condo unit. It was really a tiring day for him. He had a lot of things to prepare for his comeback, for his endorsements, and now, his enlistment. It is mandatory for male Korean citizens like him to enlist once they reach the age of 29 as a service for their country. Baekhyun has always known that this day would come. And he knows that he will do it soon.
But he is not prepared.
Especially if it means that he will enter a new world, an unfamiliar place and situation. He is scared because even if this was planned a long time ago, he knew that his fans might get hurt. He has a lot of things on his mind but what bothers him the most is thinking about what will happen to him and his husband, Chanyeol.
Yes, husband. They got married with the help of their family and friends even before the issue about his husband broke out. That's why it was a ridiculous situation for them. How come his husband would cheat if they're always together, if they're already married? Of course, they cannot announce it since there are a lot of things to consider. And they are still not ready for it. Not now, but maybe soon. At least they are now both settled and content with each other.
And that is what bothers Baekhyun the most. What if something happens while they are in service? What if their relationship gets revealed? What if haters will still not stop pestering his husband from malicious allegations? Thousands of thoughts are running inside Baekhyun's mind when he suddenly felt something snaking up from his back to his tummy. It's Chanyeol, his husband. He knows when something is bothering Baekhyun so when the latter spaces out, he's always ready to give backhugs and kisses.
"You okay, hon?"
Baekhyun turned around and faced him, returning the warm and comforting hug. "Yeah. Just a bit worried about some things."
"About our enlistnent?"
Baekhyun nodded. Now that Chanyeol is in front of him, he can't help but feel his heart clench. This man bore a lot of pain and heartache for the past few months and enlisting this early was not in the equation. But he just brushed it off by telling Baekhyun that he doesn't want to be apart from him. Of course, he doesn't want that too but the context was so unfair. The situation was so unfair.
"You're going to enlist soon... That was not part of our plan."
"Baby...", Chanyeol kissed Baekhyun's forehead before continuing, "I'm fine. You don't need to think about it anymore. I have already decided and it really is fine for me to enlist this early. Besides, I told you that I don't want to leave you and I don't want you to leave me. I want us to do this together."
"But still..."
Chanyeol didn't let Baekhyun finish. He softly dragged Baekhyun towards their sofa and he sat down, propping Baekhyun to sit on his thighs. He fixed Baekhyun's hair and hugged him.
"Remember I included the song Without You in my movie? That was not in the original plan. But I insisted."
"That's a song for a heartbreak, right?"
Chanyeol chuckled. "Right. But when I first heard that song... That one line in chorus reminded me of you."
Chanyeol then hummed and sang softly the line I can't live if living is without you. Baekhyun is now in tears.
"Shh baby. You know, for the past few months a lot of things happened. But amidst the chaos, I realized one thing: I can't live without you. I know you're worried about me. I am worried about you, too. You push yourself too much and think about a lot of things which should never worry you in the first place."
Chanyeol cuppped Baekhyun's face, kissed his tears and looked in his eyes. "I decided to do this because I wanted to. I decided to do this because I want to be with you. Even in simple or trivial things, I want us to be together."
"Remember when I told you that we should wear our wedding bands during our Lotte shoot?", Chanyeol clasped their hands together before continuing. "I want us to do that because I want to show the world that no matter what happens, nothing can break us. No matter what happens, you're all I need. That is what I have realized when the whole fiasco happened. As long as you're here with me, as long as we're together, I'm at peace."
"I'm scared, Chanyeol. What if something happens..."
"I am with you. I will be with you. Always. And this ring... This is a reminder of that promise."
Baekhyun hugged Chanyeol so tight. After weeks of sleepless nights, he's now finally at ease. His heart is now safe with his husband. Chanyeol is right. They have each other. They will always have each other. And that's what matters most. That will keep him going.
Chanyeol kissed his lips sweetly and lifted him up. "Let's go to sleep, hmm? I prepared a warm bath for you so you can relax and sleep peacefully tonight. I'm going to help you wash up."
With a warm smile, Baekhyun nodded. He is really lucky to be loved by Chanyeol. And just like him, he can never live if living is without this man.