Work Text:
The first time it happens is when they are all in pursuit of Project Golem out and around Sioux Falls. Dirk felt that the former subject in question might have had something to do with the sentient earthquakes in the Northern Great Plains region, so he dragged Todd along because it was clear Module A of the detective agency was needed. As Amanda needed to track down the same subject to gather the people connected to the universe’s larger plan and casually prepare for the war for all reality, they decided to team up. With Dirk and the Rowdy 3 composing what Dirk fondly referred to as the Super Action Boy Strike Team, Farah was allowed to manage the office in Seattle and spend time with Lydia while she was in town for her annual visit.
While they were in the van, the weight of the world fell upon Todd’s chest as his pararibulitis hit and he saw a column of bricks stacked upon his chest slowly crushing him to death. Batting at them with his hands doesn’t cause them to fall and the movement only presses them in further as all the air is forced from his lungs and it becomes increasingly impossible to breathe. He can hear Dirk fumbling for the medication while Amanda takes her hand with still-drying neon nails from Gripps and gesticulates. While he can’t fully see over the bricks subverting his view and there are more pressing things to focus on at the moment like being slowly crushed to death, he does notice Vogel, Gripps, and across looming over him.
He’s seen this happen before with Dirk and Amanda and shakes his head at them, praying Dirk can find the medication faster. Amanda sits down at his side and puts a hand on his shoulder with a twinkle in her eye that seems inappropriate for the situation, all things considered.
“Co me on Todd. I thought you were punk ,” she says narrowing her eyebrows at him. The incredulously offended look he gives must be enough as she looks up to the Rowdies and gives them a signal. Enveloped by blue light coming from the mouths of anarchist vampires who are feeding off your psychic energy in South Dakota wasn’t how he thought this trip would be spent, but then again, it’s exactly what he should have expected.
It happens again in Sioux Falls when they evade capture from Mr. Priest. Thankfully, they had come out fairly unscathed physically, mentally was another question. Todd had only received one bullet wound to the arm which, considering his record, made this a fairly tame Tuesday. Things are much worse on the former Blackwing subjects from a mental standpoint, so when they stop for gas, Martin uses the time to try and calm down Vogel. Considering Mr. Priest had set off a grenade and tried to use an assault weapon to kill him and Amanda in a motel only several months ago, he doesn’t blame him. His sister seems alright, all things considered, but he can sense she’s keeping it together for the rest of them as their guiding force in morale and life in general lately. But then there’s Dirk.
The detective hasn’t spoken since they got away, other than to indicate he wished to be left alone. It had been over a day now, and he showed no signs of improvement, Dirk had just kind of been wallowing, wrapped up in a bright green blanket that Todd can safely assume is Mona. She made herself known during the assault as a howitzer to defend them and had since been latching to Dirk. He’s glad at least Dirk has that form of comfort, but he just wants to do more.
He’s seen, time and again, the infantilizing power of interacting that this man has over Dirk. Every time he uses Dirk’s dead name, it’s as if a switch goes off so that Dirk’s no longer a not-psychic-but-something detective with a band of friends there to protect him. Instead, he’s frightened, fragile, and feels both completely and utterly alone and fully responsible for the trails of bodies left in their wake. It sends Dirk spiraling and in these moments, despite not knowing any of what happened there, Todd wants nothing more than to raze Blackwing and do all that he can to keep the man he so desperately cares for safe.
When Amanda catches him staring at Dirk, for what must have been the upwards of a hundredth time today, she nudges him with her elbow and whispers, “I thought you were punk.”
Glaring at his sister and earning a small laugh from her, he approaches Dirk and gently lays a hand on his shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. Todd gestures at the space next to the detective and when he gets a consenting nod, sits down next to him. Dirk offers Mona to him and Todd lays the blanket over the two of them, moving in closer so they both fit. Dirk wordlessly lays his head on Todd’s shoulder as the pair sit like that in the back of the van until they are awoken the next morning by the sound of gunfire and 90s grunge.
It happens again, albeit under less traumatic and murder-y circumstances on Amanda’s birthday. She was back in town for a few days and had wanted to go incognito and take the agency trip out to a karaoke bar, considering the Rowdy 3 were banned from every one in the Pacific Northwest. Todd did not want to attend. He hadn’t actually sung since the Mexican Funeral broke up, aside from everyday inconspicuous occurrences such as the shower or chores. He certainly wasn’t about to start again until Amanda says, “I thought you were punk,” with a wink, and he storms on stage the next time it’s open to prove her wrong.
The phrase slowly becomes Amanda and his thing anytime she had wanted him to do something. She knew how competitive he could be and it was her way of forcing him to be a better person or the bigger person or a whatever person. Being punk has taken on being their own form of bravery, but in a language only the two of them understand. He hates how much a look and those words can push him to do things he wouldn’t do otherwise, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. As much as it frustrates him, it’s a sign of them slowly rebuilding what they once had.
Break into a Greek restaurant after hours to get the secret menu with a cipher on it? I thought you were punk. Beer pong tournament? I thought you were punk. Track the human-language speaking dolphins in Del Mar who might be linked to Project Dagon? I thought you were punk. Try and tell Dirk how much he cared for him, not under the influence of Suzie Boreton’s spell? I thought you were punk.
Then, things changed when he finally called their parents back in Oregon from a roadside call box that couldn’t be as easily monitored. He told them everything. There was an exorbitant amount of yelling, distrust, and feelings of betrayal, which he had expected after what happened with Amanda. They were very adamant in their disappointment with him, but it wasn’t as if he hadn’t heard those words hundreds of times before. They didn’t know if they could ever forgive him, but the joke is on them considering he’s not sure he can ever forgive himself. He’s working at it and on it to be a better person and it’ll take some time, but he’s been making progress.
He’s not sure when he’ll see his parents again after that, or if he will ever see them again. He regrets his decision, despite feeling the immense weight lifted from his chest. Then, Amanda calls him. She sounds like she’s been crying and the hurried breathing terrifies him. But when he hears the words, “ You’re so punk ,” he knows everything is going to be alright.