Work Text:
The murder happened at 1 am June 1st. The victim was lying face down on the cold ground, hand outstretched. His outfit was dreadfully pink. So pink, it would burn your eyes if viewed. John screwed his eyes. Dear God. How was she murdered in...this? It’s like staring at the sun! I’m starting to think that this was actually a suicide and that my flatmate is insane. Should I move out after this? A man leaned against the door frame.
“German,” he said indicating the words by the man’s hand. Meinen Mörder ist sehr schön. Scheisse, ich bin schwul. “My murderer is very beautiful. Shit, I’m gay.” Sherlock dropped the man’s hand onto the ground and glared at the man by the door. He stood up and shut it.
“Yes. Thank you for your input.”
“So he’s German,” lemonade man questioned.
“No. He used Google Translate and got lucky.”
John traced the words with his fingers, “‘...ich bin schwul…?”
“Yes, John, we know.”
gf: 👌👏👬👨❤️👨🤼♂️
me: I feel like i put a lot of effort in the beginning and then gave up Just like school gf: Now that's what I call correlation
me: My favorite part is when I put eh the parenthesis
gf: I need a sec to remember the name Um .. me: umm Is he lestrade?
gf: OhH yea my dumb self was like "jeffffff????"
ONE DAY JOHN WALKED UP TO A LEMONADE STAND and he said “Hey” bum bum bum “You got any grapes” Lemonade man said “NO SCREW OFF YOU duck” Oh dang sis LAPDANCEapped faster than thanos LORD 💦 LAP DANCED FASTER THAN
Everyday A John cries because he’s called a duck and doesn’t get grapes from lemonade man And shelcok (a terrible misspelling I'm dead ) only has eyeballs in the fridge😳👀 Sherlock said: 😊👉👁🧠🦴🦷👋 the eyes go in the boxes, not your stomach, John Poppin eyes is all we know and John said
“Drugs go in the boxdes, not your body, sheloc” Johnny boi and sherrly are having a fun time with eyeballs and drugs John cries on the couch while sheloc plays a tiny violin and selcoerjty is wearing sunglasses cause hes a stoned hoe and cant read cause hes really jared, ¹⁹
One day sherlock decides to play a crossword puzzle but he cannot. The mind palace thought not of words, but the whirling emotions of his teen years. So he writes down 3 words. Sad, horny, misunderstood. Alas, the word boxes did not have the appropriate amount of spaces. Frustrated, sherlock stabs the book with his phat knife then shoots it 16 times. Sexiest font >:* SHERLOCK HELP HIM OH GOD HE CANT HEAR US HES ON DRUGS Big mood And hes wearing airpods High as a kite yo living that lit life loving every second Lemonade man has a grape feeding fetish and wants to be called lemonaid man kool-aid confirmed?