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Spinning, spinning, spinning. The two had finally stopped rolling through the field and yet his head was still spinning. Bucky just could not wrap his head around the situation.
Surely Sam realized that although that fall would hurt him, it wouldn't actually cause serious harm. He was built of sterner stuff. Built tough. Built to endure the most violent of assaults. Honestly he couldn't even say this was the first time he lost a fight to a truck. Yet Sam had come for him. Sam had risked his own safety, to protect him, swooping beneath the trailer like some kind of iron guardian angel. Nobody had looked after him, not since Steve. Hell even before Steve it had been decades without someone looking out for him.
The hours of therapy had always left him hollow. His therapist wanted him to nurture friendships, as though he had any. The honest truth was that his phone was empty because he had nobody. Sure he had his neighbor, but how could it be a true friendship when he was hiding such a dark secret from him. No, he could never be a real friend, he was a mission. He was atonement for past crimes. But Sam, there were no secrets. Every truth of his past laid bare. Every crime and every sin known and far from hidden. Every one of his faults accepted, without question and without shame.
Sam was like Steve in a way. Able to look beyond the cataclysmic mess that was his past and instead accept the man within. To see him less as a weapon and more like a fellow soldier, apparently a soldier worth risking his life for. The realization sent a shock wave through him. Sure they didn't always get along, hell the man wouldn't even move up his seat when he was cramped in the back of a tiny two door car, but he would always have his back. Would always check up on him during a dangerous mission. Sam was the kind of man that would ensure he was never left behind or forgotten. He could kiss the man.
It would be easy now, with Sam exhausted and bruised beneath him, to use his weight and hold him down just enough to give him the most passionate kiss of his life. Kiss out the anger at a failed mission, kiss out the fear of a super soldier army, kiss out his praises of Sam's quick save. Bucky wasn't exactly good at expressing himself with words but he was sure his mouth could show the gratitude he felt. He was more than certain that if he leaned down right now he could change their entire dynamic.
"Get off of me." Sam wheezed from beneath his weight, a heavy shove sending Bucky sideways into the grass beside him and pausing his thoughts. No, Bucky couldn't kiss Sam now. Sam wasn't ready. Not yet, almost.