Work Text:
The first thing the Archivist is aware of is the sheer vastness of new Knowledge, of new Sights, and Sounds, and Tastes, and Textures, and Feelings, and Emotions that are suddenly bombarding them with information.
The second thing the Archivist is aware of is themself. And how they are not the only Jonathan Sims, and they are not the only Archivist. There are Jonathan Sims’s who are not Archivists, and Archivists who are not Jonathan Sims. But they are all The Archivist. They are all The Archivist in the same way that they themself is the Archivist.
There’s an infinite amount of places for the Fears to go, for them to continue living on and feeding.
Then, they’re aware of Martin. Martin isn’t the only Martin Blackwood, nor the only Associate of the Archivist. There are endings that they can See. Endings where the two of them live happily ever after. Endings where they die together. Endings where one dies, and one continues on. And ones that are still ongoing. “Archivists” and “Martins” whose stories are still being told, and who’s stories they can Watch and Feel and Understand and Want but can no longer Have.
They can’t feel Martin. They can’t really feel themself, either. They’re less a coherent being now, and more a concept. An archetype that occurs time and time again, over and over again, each time being different, some slightly, some heavily.
The Archivist is Watching. That’s all they can do. But they can Remember and Feel their Love. They can feel the Love of all the other Archivists flowing through them like a conduit.
And that is enough. It is enough to Know and to Feel that, while not here, the Archivist and Martin will be together, in some form. Forever.