Work Text:
She’s nervous. Of course she is - her grandfather is the only family she has, and… well, she doesn’t know how he’ll react. She knows he retired when she was a baby, for her.
Well, for…
“Kouta?”
She winces. Grandpa saw her in the doorway and…
“Grandpa,” she says. “There’s something I want to talk to you about.”
“Of course,” her grandfather says. “What’s wrong.”
“I’m… I’m a girl.”
Her grandfather blinks.
“What do you mean?” He asks.
“I mean I’m transgender,” she says. “I’m a girl, and I want to go to school in a girls’ uniform and wear my hair long and have people refer to me femininely and I want to be… a girl.”
It comes out in a rush. She’s glad her mouth moved faster than her brain. Because when it catches up, she is terrified. She stares at her grandfather, and he stares back.
“…I see,” he says. “Is this why you switched to ‘watashi’ and…”
She winds her finger around her hair. It barely meets the boys’ dress code for hair length at school. She wants it longer. Down her back. Maybe wear it in pigtails.
“I figured it out a few months ago,” she says, before bowing. “I’m sorry, grandpa.”
“What for?” Her grandpa asks, and she looks up in surprise. Her grandpa is smiling. “I just found out I had a beautiful granddaughter.”
…she knows she’s crying when she hugs her grandfather, but she doesn’t care. She’s just glad he understood.
“So what should I call you, Kouta?” Eijiro asks, a few days later, and she winces again. She knows he’s been doing some research - he used to be a scientist, which probably helps. He says that he already knew humanity and gender weren’t as defined as most people say.
But the thing is…
“I don’t know,” she says. “I just know I don’t like Kouta.”
“I see,” her grandfather says. “You know, when you were still unborn, your parents picked a name for if they had a girl.”
She blinks
“They did?” She asks.
“They were going to call you Mai,” her grandfather replies with a nod. “Can I call you that until you decide, Mai-Chan?”
She… Mai nods.
Mai hastily wipes her tears when she hears her grandfather heading for her room. She’s fine, really. She figured there would be some teasing from the other students. They’ve known her as Kouta for so long, and the teachers too, but with gym today again…
“Mai-Chan?” He asks. “What’s wrong.”
“I’m fine, grandpa,” she says. “I should get to work on my homework.”
She hates it, her body feels extra wrong today, and school had been bad, and she’s so, so tired. They still won’t even give her a new uniform.
Her grandpa comes in, anyways, and sits next to her.
“Tell me what’s wrong, Mai,” he says. “I’m sure there are… solutions.”
Mai curls up in a ball, next to him.
“I’m fine,” she says.
“Mai…”
“A teacher tried to dress code me for my hair,” Mai admits. “And the boys were mean in the locker room.”
They had even before she came out, but now it’s worse. Before, they just thought she was feminine. Now… one of them called her a pervert. She’s thirteen just like anyone else in her class!
She almost pressure pointed them, but last time she did that she was sent home.
She just wants to be a normal girl.
It’s the little things that get her through the semester. She gets used to not reacting, holding her emotions inside where no one can see. Even if they do finally let her get the girl’s uniform, nothing else changes.
She’s so lonely.
(At least, around then, she manages to gain access to Estrogen injections. Grandpa is far too good at this stuff.)
She transfers schools for ninth grade. They even provide her the girls’ uniform from the start. It’s off to a great start until—
“Hikari Kouta?”
She winces, raises her hand.
“It’s Mai, actually,” she says. The teacher looks her over and nods, slowly. Mai wants to sink into the floor and disappear. The teacher continues down the list.
“Kumon Hirohiko.”
“Oh not again.”
Mai turns to find a boy leaning lazily back on his chair accidentally hit the legs of said chair far too loudly on the ground.
“It’s Sato Hirohiko,” he says. The teacher sighs.
“Please do not sit in your chair like that… Sato-kun,” she says.
Mai suddenly feels slightly less bad, especially when the boy catches her eyes and winks.
The boy from first period - Sato - tracks her down at lunch, with a friend.
“So this is the cute girl in your home room?” The friend asks. Sato nods. Mai blushes.
It’s rare she gets a compliment like that.
“Hikari-San, this is Aoyagi Kazuyoshi,” Sato says. “Kazu, this is Hikari Mai.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” Mai says. Aoyagi nods.
“You too.”
“Sorry about the name thing,” Sato says. “I swear this school is the worst - I changed my last name legally when my cousin adopted me but it still gives me the Bastard’s name on forms.”
“Oh, mine isn’t legally changed, yet,” Mai says. “There’s a whole process, and I still don’t know if Mai is the name I want to keep.”
“Sounds rough.”
“Yeah.”
Sato sits down next to her, and Aoyagi sits on his other side.
“Mind if we eat lunch with you?” He asks. Natsumi nods.
It’s nice, she supposes, to have friends.
A good day after all.
“Natsuko-Chan.”
“No…”
Aoyagi has taken to calling her random names at varying intervals, which isn’t nearly as strange as it sounds. He’d offered to stop after the first time but in its own way, it’s useful.
She should pick a name by now, she likes “Mai” but it just… doesn’t quite fit her.
Still not as bad as “Kouta”.
“Am I getting warmer?” Aoyagi asks, jokingly.
“I have no idea how to answer that.”
“I think I want to go by Natsumi, now,” she says one day. Yes, it’s gonna be another process of everyone changing their name for her, but at least she knows she’ll have grandpa and her friends.
Sato smiles, putting his arm around her.
“Sounds great, Natsumi-Chan,” he says. “Maybe by high school, they’ll get our names right!”
Natsumi smiles.
“That sounds nice,” she says. “Now, get off me.”
Sato raises his hands.
“Still a no in that date?” He asks.
“Yep,” Natsumi says with a smile. “Good luck.”
Sato groans, but he’s still smiling.
(The name change, too, is surprisingly easy. She kind of wants to know how her grandpa does it.)
“Hikari Natsumi?”
“Present,” Natsumi says. Her long hair is tied behind her head. Her teacher got her name right. She feels… really good, about this all.
Ready to take on the world.
(Even if not, yet, ready to take on the Worlds .)