Chapter Text
Alex Rider was not thrilled in the slightest. Nope, not at all. He had been dragged from his bed by a screeching Tom, yelling in pure excitement about how he was going to set Alex up for the best time of his life.
Alex was going to strangle the twat. Not really, but he really wished his best mate would choke on his drink later on.
"Tom, this is crazy." Alex said, his tone revealing just how annoyed he was, but the man standing next to him wasn't having it.
"No, no, Alex. It isn't. Lots of people do it!" Tom interjected, his face painted in pure excitement for the day's events. Tom wiggled his fingers around before plucking a light pink button down from the clothing racks. "This will do! You'll look so hot mate! Irresistible!"
Alex could feel his face morphing into a prominent frown.
"Tom. I'm not going on a bloody blind date." Alex paused. "Especially in a fancy theatre full of rich snobs." Alex stressed, his eyes widening in disbelief as Tom dragged out the most god awful pair of floral men's shorts.
"Please, Alex. All you ever do is sit around home or," his voice dropped to a whisper. "Play 6's stupid games. This'll be good for you! You're eighteen and still haven't gotten laid!" Tom exclaimed, shoving more clothes into Alex's direction. "I want you to be happy and in love! And I want godchildren. Oh! I'd make the perfect uncle!" Tom all but squealed, shoving Alex into a changing cubicle.
Well damn. Now, here Alex was, dressed in a button down, skinny jeans that "made his ass pop", and boots. His hair was even french braided at the top. He felt like a bimbo, especially since he basically lived in sweatpants and a hoodie. Not because he was self conscious, no, but because 6 was a literal dick and would pop at the worst times. Alex wished they would actually drag him away right now, but he couldn't be lucky all the time.
Tom snagged his elbow, making Alex curse silently in his head for not paying attention before he was swept off to the nearest dining table reserved for blind dating. God, somebody kill him now. He did not want to sit around looking like a fool. He highly doubted anyone would actually come and sit at his table though.
Alex placed himself into the seat, shooting a glare at Tom. "I hate you."
Tom smirked, fixing Alex's collar. "You love me. Maybe we should've gone with those shorts after all." Alex shuddered at the thought. "Mhm, no. Actually, you look wonderful. Now sit here and all look hot."
Tom was off in an instant, making Alex sigh in relief. He really hoped no one sat at his table.
Yassen Gregorovich wasn't pleased, not at all. Dimitri Petrovovich was a rich fool who had hired a freelance contract killer as an escort. Why had Yassen said yes? Why, money of course. All Yassen had to do was sit around and look nice to trick Dimitri's mother into thinking her son was gay, so she would finally stop harassing him about marrying a woman and having children. It was an easy, simple job. That was until Yassen laid eyes upon Alex Rider sat at a blind dating table. Fate was fucking with him, he knew it.