Work Text:
The Norwegian sighed heavily as he tapped aimlessly on his smartphone. He has already exhausted his social media feeds for the day and was still bored out of his mind. Nothing was happening on the base to cause any excitement or energy and it was wearing on Ace.
Unlocking his phone once more, he skimmed through his schedule to see what was coming the following weeks. The man then stopped and let out a small gasp in realization. April Fool's was fast approaching.
He grinned to himself and glanced out from behind his phone to take a look at the other operators currently sitting at the messhall with him. The Norwegian noticed Dokkaebi sitting by herself picking at her last bit of salad while skimming on her phone. He stood and made his way over to her, grinning even wider as he slumped down across from her.
The Korean woman glanced at him with a raised eyebrow and lowered her phone slightly, "can I help you?"
"Actually yes, you can." The man responded.
"With?" She replied, clearly not very interested in talking right now.
Ace ignored the lack of enthusiasm and continued, "I want to know the latest happenings around here. Gossip, drama, rumors, all of it."
"What makes you think I know all this, exactly?" Grace responded with a scoff.
Ace shot her a playful disappointed look, "come on, with your skills you're telling me you haven't gotten into the others' phones at least once and twice in your spare time? Or heard any gossip from the other girls?"
She rolled her eyes but smiled slightly nonetheless, "fine, I guess you're right. And you better watch that stereotype. I find just as much gossip from you boys as I do the girls." She remarked, shooting the man a look.
Ace raised his hands defeatedly, "point taken, I'll watch my words next time. Anyway, what do you have?" He eagerly leaned closer.
Dokkaebi finally lowered her phone to rest it on the table and smirked slightly, "I guess Lion had a nasty argument with Doc and now he's in a sour mood basically twenty-four seven. He's already a pain to work with on a normal day, but his extra snippy attitude makes it near impossible to not want to leave him behind."
Ace listened intently and nodded when the woman finished, "Is that so? An extra mopey Lion."
Grace nodded. "So why do you want to know this?"
Ace snickered and pointed to his phone's calendar, "I need an idea for April Fool's and you, my dear, just found my target."
"Are you sure that's a good idea? Lion doesn't take well to jokes, you should know that." The Korean responded, crossing her arms.
"That's what will make it even better! His reaction will be a sight to behold--for me and my followers." Ace retorted, grinning down at his phone as he opened Instagram. Dokkaebi slowly shook her head and went back to her own phone.
-----------------
The next day Ace racked his brain and the internet got the perfect prank to pull on Lion. He debated over what style woukd best suit the ginger man. Classic? Gross? Cruel? Long-lasting? The Norwegian scratched his head in frustration, now feeling overwhelmed with all the prank ideas he was contemplating. He then gasped in realization. 'Idiot!' He thought to himself, 'there is already a master of pranks in this building.'
The man practically jumped off his bed and hurriedly made his way toward the sleeping quarters of the GSG9 members while doing his best to contain his excitement. Finding the German playing Solitaire on his bed, Ace promptly swept the cards aside and sat down on the bed in front of the other man.
He spoke before the irksome look in the other man's eyes grew into something worse, "I need your help to prank Lion for April Fool's. You're the best at this, so tell me everything." He grinned.
Bandit raised an eyebrow, "why?"
"Because you can't resist a good prank." Ace explained.
"I can, actually. Plus you disrupted my game, which maked me want to help you even less." Bandit answered back flatly.
The Norwegian sighed, "come on, please? Lion is a major pain in the ass, doesn't messing with him sound like a good way to get back at him?"
"He's not the only operator I would call a pain in the ass." Bandit bit back, eyeing Ace with an irritated look.
"Do you want to do this or not?" Ace asked, starting to feel defeated.
After a long pause, Bandit finally replied, "fine. Just this once." Ace whooped as he settled himself on the bed to listen to what the German had in mind.
-------
April Fool's finally arrived and Ace was currently preparing his prank for Lion just as Bandit had instructed. Once everything was in place he hid his phone in a well-hidden little nook that looked out to Lion's bed and nearby storage area and started recording.
The Norwegian stepped into view of the camera to explain the prank to his viewers, "Alright, so Lion just got done with his workout in the gym and is coming back to take a shower and change his clothes. Little does he know that I sprinkled glitter on the inside of his fresh shirts. This means when he slips it on, glitter will get all over his face and body. And we all know how terrible glitter sticks," he paused to let out a small cackle, "but I didn't stop there, oh no. I also put glitter in his bed too," he pointed to the bed then gave a thumbs up, "I'm going to hide under one of the other beds to wait and listen for our poor victim."
He stepped out of the shot and leaned out the door to look to Bandit who was keeping watch for Lion at the hallway corner. Bandit nodded in understanding while Ace smirked and hid himself under the bed across from Lion's. The two men had agreed that Bandit would cough loudly when Lion was rounding the corner to his room.
After waiting for about ten minutes, Ace heard the cough from Bandit followed by mumbled words that he guessed was Bandit pretending to apologize for the cough. The Norwegian made himself stay extra still as he heard Lion enter the room. The Frenchman sniffed and cleared his throat as he made his way into the bathroom to shower. Waiting with baited breath, Ace finally heard the shower stop and gritted his teeth in anticipation.
"What..the fuck? What the hell is this?" An angry and frustated voice announced from the bathroom. Ace covered his mouth to keep himself from laughing as Lion burst out of the bathroom and hurried over to his storage looking for a non-glittery shirt.
Ace crept closer to the edge under the bed to get a look at the Frenchman. Just as he wanted, his face, chest, and part of his arms were covered in glitter. Ace then slipped out from under the bed and barked out a laugh. Lion jumped and quickly turned to face the other man, his expression changing from surprised to angry.
"You little shit, I should have known this was your doing!" Lion roared as he jabbed a finger in Ace's direction, a fresh shirt bunched into his hand.
Ace held up his hands in defeat, "sorry Lion, but your downer attitude made you an easy target. You should be flattered! Now you'll be known by my thousands of followers." He said as he leaned into view of his phone and waved with a giant grin on his face.
"Starting a new fashion trend or something?" A cool voice asked mockingly from the doorway. The two men turned to see Bandit smirking at Lion's glittery form.
"Even fucking better. Two pranking idiots working together." Lion growled as he slipped on a new shirt. He sighed and he noticed that it only partly fixed his predicament.
"It's just some glitter, calm down." Bandit stated as he rolled his eyes and stepped further into the room.
"Like hell I'll calm down!" Lion countered, stepping closer to the German.
"Whoa, hey, let's settle down now, alright?" Ace jumped in, disliking the rising tension.
Lion continued, "of course you put this whole thing together. When are you going to grow up and treat life as something other than just some game?"
"When you stop making the game interesting to play." Bandit retorted.
Lion snarled and suddenly turned to his open storage and grabbed one of his knives. He turned back to Bandit and drove it through his gut in one swift motion. Bandit grunted, shock filling his normally drooped eyes as he fell to the ground with a thud.
Ace felt a sound of fear escape him as he took a step backwards. He snapped his head up to lock eyes with Lion, who looked back with bloodlust. He started toward Ace who took a few more steps back until the wall behind him pressed against his back. He was a trained professional, constantly looked into the face of danger, but yet felt himself freeze up under Lion's intense gaze.
The Norwegian said nothing as the other man finally closed in on him. He loomed, curling his lips back in a snarl as he spoke, "I have just one last thing to say to you, Ace." Ace swallowed.
Lion swiftly lifted his arm and plunged the knife into the other man's gut. He leaned his head closer and mumbled, "April Fool's." Ace, now shaking, slowly processed what had been said to him. He realized that he felt no pain in his abdomen and moved his hand down to feel no blood there either.
Lion stepped away and held up the knife, pressing his finger into the tip to make it retract back into itself, "pretty convincing, isn't it?"
"B-but...you...he...the...I..." Ace stammered out while taking a slow step toward Bandit.
Bandit slowly rolled over onto his back and opened his eyes to look up at Ace, "it's called fake blood, idiot." He sat up and poked his fingers into the blood and showed them to the Norwegian. "Easy to make. I can show you if you'd like." The German said as he stood up and wiped the fake blood off on Ace's face.
Ace flinched, "but...how?"
Lion shrugged, "After you made your little plan with Bandit he came and told me about it. So instead of ruining your plans we added in our own. But for future reference," Lion patted Ace's shoulder roughly, "keep me out of your pranks or I'll actually kick your ass." With that he turned and walked back to the bathroom.
Bandit smirked once more at the Norwegian, not saying a word as he left the room. Ace, finally collecting himself, scrambled over to his phone to stop the video. He left Lion's room and told himself to skip April Fools this year. Before putting his phone away, he went to his photo album and found the video of his prank. He had never hit delete faster in his life.