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Here they all were, in a meeting, debating some issue (a conversation they must’ve had many times already) that could’ve been solved hours ago. Despite that, here they were. Thomas, Virgil, Janus, Remus, Roman, Logan. Patton.
Logan and Roman were arguing over logic versus passion, whether Thomas should do the safe, logical thing or fling himself out and reach for what he wanted. Janus, for once, was on Roman’s side, while Virgil was sitting in the corner, glaring at anyone who tried to bring him into it. To put it simply, they were all tired and on edge.
Patton was tired as well, quite clearly. He was barely interacting with any of them, staring down at his hands and giving the occasional bland smile when someone said something to him. None of them appeared to notice his strange blankness, eager to leave. (He barely dared hope that the golden eye that flicked over to him every so often had seen. Hoping had never gotten him anywhere.)
After a while, the argument was close to resolved - or at least resolved in the sense that no one had the energy to keep debating. When Thomas nodded in thanks and dismissal, none of them wasted any time in sinking out.
They all landed in the commons, normally reappearing and going about their days. Patton pivoted immediately toward the stairway, but was stopped with a hand on his arm. It was... it burned. Inwardly he flinched, he cried out, he looked around to see can anyone see me has anyone even noticed-
Outwardly he smiled and turned back. “Need anything, kiddo?”
Janus shook his head and kept his eyes on him. “Everyone come here,” he said, raising his voice a little. Patton flinched. Patton tilted his head in question. All the other sides gathered, and Janus touched Patton’s arm again. Why am I frozen- They sat on the couch, which served to do nothing for comfort besides seal the fact that he wasn’t getting away from this conversation.
After everyone had turned towards them, watching the interaction curiously, Janus spoke. “You seem to be... fading a little, Patton.” he said neutrally, as if trying not to scare him. “Physically.”
What do you mean, I’m fading? He looked down at where Janus’s hand met his arm. Compared to the bright yellow of his gloves, his skin, his clothes appeared less vibrant than usual, as if his colors were being washed out, or pressed down. By the flood, the pressure, the water
He looked down, surprised, afraid, feeling something. “I’m sure it’s nothing, I must just be tired. You know that happens to all of us sometimes,” Patton said cheerfully. He started to stand, but the hand that stayed close pulled him back down.
“It’s more than that,” Janus said. “I’ve seen it. When Virgil ducked out, thinking it’d be better if he were gone, his darkness and voice increased. When Logan felt useless, he vanished. Logic, metaphorically thrown out the window. And then there’s feelings. Feeling grey. Washed out feelings. Sayings have power, Patton. I know it’s not just exhaustion.”
A rainstorm threatened to burst its gates. Blue eyes held back tears. “I’m really not sure what you mean,” Patton insisted. “I’m not grey. I’m fine, you don’t need to worry about me.” He pulled his arm out of Janus’s grip and crossed his arms in front of his chest.
The other sides, gathered around them, started to look a little closer. Virgil saw the tiredness in his eyes. It was a familiar sight, every time he looked in the mirror it stared back at him. Roman saw his curved, defeated posture, likening it to losing an audition, or the stress of too much, things to learn and do and think. They see me.
“I’m Deceit. I’m the embodiment of lies. I can see them, Patton. And right now, you’re a grey haze of deception.” Janus tried to temper his tone, but his exasperation was pushing through.
“I-”
“Can you please trust me?” Janus said, a shade more gently now. “Trust us and tell me what’s wrong?”
Patton winced and finally caved in under the five gazes pleading with him. “I’m... I might be losing my color because my purpose is gone. Well, not gone, really but, I’m not that useful, am I?” he said, something that barely passed as a laugh cracking from his throat. “I just... I feel things. Too much. The only thing I’m good at is taking care of all of you, and even that’s getting turned around on me, now.”
Afterfter a moment of stunned silence from everyone, Janus leane forward and grabbed his shoulders. “You are one of the most important sides Thomas has,” he said firmly, and cut off Patton’s protest. “You’re the one who embodies his feelings, everything that pushes him. If he wants to learn something, it’s because you enjoy it. If he falls in love, it’s because you did. You’re the driving force of his entire being, Patton. None of the rest of us would exist without you.”
Patton looked around helplessly, apparently hoping someone would disagree, but all the rest of the sides were nodding in agreement, varying degrees of concern and protectiveness and affection.
Janus’s eyes were intense, as if willing him to understand his words. Patton averted his eyes, but nowhere else was safe to look either. His hands were curled in his lap, shaking ever so slightly. He was surrounded by his family, all their red-yellow-blue-purple-green crouched around him. There was nowhere to go or hide, so he closed his eyes. A few tears dripped into his lap.
As a last-ditch attempt, he clamped his trembling lips together. “I really don’t think that I-” he cut himself off with a yelp as the green part of their circle launched forward and pressed him into the couch.
“You’re important, now shut up and stop protesting,” came Remus’s annoyed voice as he clamped his arms around Patton.
Roman gave his brother an irritated glare and started to say something, but Patton startled them all by burying his face in his shoulder with a sound that was half-sob, half-relief. Remus purred and curled around him a bit more gently.
“Well what do you know,” Virgil murmured to a spluttering Roman as they all looked on. “Your brother has the solution, somehow.” Patton was very clearly shaking as he clung to Remus, who seemed to be enjoying the close contact.
Janus seemed to catch on the fastest and settled himself next to them, resting his weight against Patton’s back, and letting out a satisfied nod as the trembling eased a little. Roman was next, sitting on the couch above them all and reaching down to run a hand through Patton’s hair. With every touch, he seemed to settle a little more.
A moment later, Virgil and Logan came to sit on Patton and Remus’s other side. Logan hesitantly took Patton’s hand, and looked startled as he was immediately held in a vice grip. Virgil seemed content to lean against Logan’s shoulder and watch everything play out.
A few minutes passed until Patton’s silent tears slowed, and then he began to disentangle himself from everyone’s arms. “Thank you,” he said, looking down. “I should probably go t-”
Remus yanked him back down and wrapped his arms around him with clear intent to keep him there. Janus, too, pulled him down gently.
“You, Popstar, are not going anywhere,” Virgil smirked. “Roman, movie. Logan, get snacks. And Patton,” he said authoritatively as they departed. “You’re staying here with us for at least tonight, or later if Remus doesn’t let go.”
Patton nodded weakly and let Janus and Remus cuddle him. There wasn’t much he - or anyone, for that matter - would be able to do against Remus’s deathgrip around his waist. And if he were to be honest, the pressure Janus was providing against him was more than comforting. Colors colors colors, green and yellow and blue. Colors filling him with warmth, replacing all his grey emptiness with light blue skies and loving rays of the sun.
As Roman pulled up some Disney movie they’d all watched a thousand times and Logan brought over some popcorn and cookies, they all collected blankets and pillows, setting them up around Patton.
After they’d arranged everything, everyone flopped down on the carpet and curled around the practical throne of blankets they’d created. Patton smiled, eyes filling with tears again. Before, they’d come from bleakness and cold, but these were tears of relief and thawing, the spring flood after months of winter.
Everything was warm, so warm, warmer than he’d felt in weeks. Surrounded by his family, doing something they’d been doing ever since they existed, holding each other until the world ended, this was comfort. This was love and acceptance and home.