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Stars collapse and stone fades to ash, yet still the love they held echoes throughout the universe until time itself ceases to exist.
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It's been ten months since you first arrived at Castle Dimitrescu. You hadn't intended to stay so long - in fact, you hadn't intended to be here at all.
You had lived in the village below, but when your mother passed you were left alone. When she first fell ill she joked with you that she wanted to be cremated, but weeks passed and eventually her demand became a painful reality. You woke that morning to a quiet home and grey skies, and you knew. The rest of your morning was spent quietly mourning and preparing. You had been prepared mentally, but it was still the hardest thing you'd ever had to do. By evening you were gathering her ashes and by nightfall the storm had arrived.
Lady Dimitrescu found you wandering the edge of the woods. You were soaking wet, cloak clinging to your body and a hand protectively holding the leather satchel at your side. She had spotted you from one of her front gardens during a midnight stroll. You stumbled, unable to see as you walked into the rain. A root caught your foot and you fell to your knees, defeated.
She moved with inhuman speed, suddenly standing in front of you. A strong hand held her large black umbrella with ease despite the angry wind threatening to tear it from her grasp. Your head tipped back to look at her face, rain and tears mingling as they dripped down your cheeks. Golden eyes found yours, harsh rain pelting your shivering form. Her gaze softened and she took pity on you, leading you to the castle and away from the storm.
When you reached the front doors, they opened before she could touch them, not that she moved to. A maid stood on the other side, holding neatly folded towels in her arms. The tall woman turned to you, giving you one last wary but curious look before holding a beckoning, gloved hand out to you, allowing you into her home.
The end of one chapter and the beginning of another, you often think. Passing that threshold felt like the turn of a page. Every step you took into her home felt like another inky word pressed into thick paper.
Quite a fitting thought, honestly, considering she had led you to the library.
You had already known who they were, everyone in the village did, but she still made the effort to introduce herself. Always a lady of manners.
She had just taken your cloak, hanging it by the fireplace to dry. You were wrapped in a towel, hands holding the corners tight around your shoulders, standing to one side of the fire as she took her place on the other. You kept your eyes on the flames, their dancing a welcome distraction from the pain in your heart. Her voice startles you, making you jump a little, but you quickly recover.
"I am Lady Dimitrescu." Her voice is strong and smooth. It fits her well, you think.
"Pleased to meet you, my Lady. I'm sorry for intruding. I can be on my way after the rain stops, or before, if you like."
She looks down at you. Golden eyes seem to dance just as the fire does. You're not sure which flame you should be looking at.
"No need." She allows her curiosity to show. "Stay as long as you must."
You falter under her scrutinizing gaze, breaking eye contact and returning to the fireplace.
"Thank you, my Lad-"
"Alcina."
You look back up at her and it's her turn to stare into the flames. She looks disaffected, bored almost. Your brow knits at the situation.
"I'm sorry?"
"Alcina." She says again, turning her fiery eyes onto you. You swear you can feel her in your soul. "You may call me Alcina."
"Oh." It's all you can think of before your own manners return and you hurriedly give her your own name.
An appreciating hum vibrates deep in her throat. She is once again watching you.
"How lovely." She says. "Fitting."
You feel your cheeks turn the lightest shade of pink. She gives you the faintest of smiles - so faint, in fact, you don't think you were meant to notice it. She turns back to the fire, a thoughtful expression gracing her features. She repeats your name, a delicate sound as it passes through her lips.
You don't think it's ever sounded so nice.
-------
The night she asked you to stay is one of your favorite to think of.
The evening sun had just settled beyond the horizon and the moon had taken her place above the castle. It wasn't full, not quite, but it shone bright enough that the village below looked like it belonged in a fairytale. You were watching as the lights slowly flickered out among the houses, everyone finishing their own long days and settling into their own beds. It was comforting.
You were sitting in Alcina's vanity chair, looking out the window. She had been out for a meeting all day and had only just returned, quietly entering her own room with a sigh. The look of surprise on her face when she saw you let you know she hadn't expected anyone to be here.
"Oh, hello, little dove. What a pleasant surprise. I thought you would have been in bed by now." Her pleased expression matches her words, and your heart flutters.
"Sorry, I was just watching the village. It's peaceful, seeing everyone exist together so easily. Like everyone has a role and every role is important. Like everyone belongs." You take a deep breath and shake your head a little, clearing your thoughts. "But I can leave now. Daydreaming is no reason to intrude."
"Nonsense." Her voice is strong but gentle. "You never intrude. In fact, I'd quite like to sit with you, if you'd allow me. The village really can be quite a calming sight."
"I don't think I could ever reject your company. I would love to share my evening with you."
You smile at her and she eagerly returns it. Part of you swears you can see the slightest shade of pink dust her cheeks as she sits on the edge of bed. You're only a few feet apart, but you still find yourself wishing you were closer.
A comfortable silence settles over the room as both of you watch the village. It was almost midnight now, and it seemed most of the people had gone to bed. Only one house remains with a single light on. Your eyes are glued to it, waiting. You wonder if she is doing the same.
"You belong."
Her voice breaks your trance, though your eyes don't move. Neither one of you moves. But you listen.
"I know you don't think you do, but you belong. Down in the village with the others," you feel her eyes on you, "and here. With us."
The lone light flickers, fades away.
"No matter what you choose, I know that you will do well. You are strong and caring. Resilient. And I know that it is hard, and it is scary, and I know that sometimes you do not think it is worth it. But, if you will allow us," she gently takes your hand in her own. Your eyes meet. The sincerity in her gaze is enough to drown you if you let it. "My family and I will do everything in our power to show you that you are enough." A feather-light squeeze. "You are not alone."
You can feel the tears fall before you even knew they were there.
"With us, you are never alone."
-------
It was rocky at first, as would be expected, but soon enough you and the women of the house actually grew to enjoy each others’ company. There was plenty of banter, of course, and the occasional heated argument, but you found that you seemed to fit with them quite well.
Each woman had an air of danger to them, something you couldn’t quite place at first, but after they warmed up to you it felt almost protective. They were each, in their own way, more kind than they cared to let on - some more so than others. Alcina is the most guarded. Understandably, you suppose. You guess that someone of her status can’t be seen as soft and overly-generous. Whatever her reason, it suits her well.
Sometimes, though, when you least expect it, you catch her softer side. They were rare, these soft moments, and you cherished them like a treasure.
The outside air is warm, heated by the newly risen sun. Morning broke about an hour ago, but you had found yourself outside long before then. You were sat on a long-dead stump when Alcina found you, staring idly into a small clearing within a wall of trees. You could feel her eyes on you, almost as warm as the sun on your back, but she said nothing. She waited until you were ready, meeting her gaze and offering a weary smile.
“Are you alright?” Her face was neutral - she was good at that, you learned, not letting any emotion show in her expressions. It was a skill you hoped to adopt in your time with her.
"I'm fine," you had said, "just thinking." You look away from her. One of your hands comes up to make a vague gesture in the direction of the clearing. "It's pretty empty over there. Have you thought of doing anything with it?"
Her eyes follow yours, glancing at the open area. "I have not." She admits. Her gaze returns to you. "I assume you have an idea?"
You're silent for a moment, contemplating. Your teeth subconsciously work against the inside of your bottom lip, a habit you'll never break. You'd known this woman for a month. She is kind, not overly but enough that you'd found yourself growing to trust her. You have no clue how she feels about you, though, not really, so you aren't sure your thought is worth voicing.
"I do." You decide.
A sculpted eyebrow raises ever so slightly. "And what would that be?"
You fall silent again. Your leather satchel sits propped against the stump, waiting. You look at it for a long moment before gingerly picking it up. It suddenly feels heavy in your hands, the weight of what you're about to ask settling into you. You take your time in undoing the cord wrapped around the button; let the cover fall open. A few seconds pass before you can bring yourself to reach into it, but when you finally do, you gently pull out a small, hand-carved urn.
"Who is it?" Alcina's voice is soft.
The tenderness catches you off guard, but you don't react. Your eyes are locked onto the grain of the wood, thumb lightly tracing a particularly dark streak. Tears are threatening to fall, but you hold them back.
"My mother." It's almost a whisper, but your voice is surprisingly steady.
Alcina hums - a simple sound, low and quiet. She doesn't say anything else, opting once again to wait for you.
"I want to bury her ashes with the roots of a sapling."
It's a simple enough statement. She continues to look at you for a minute - thinking, most likely - then fixes her gaze between the trees.
"What kind?"
You let your surprise show this time. Your head turns to face her, confusion etched into your features. You can see her eyes pass from tree to tree, taking them in.
"What?" You ask.
She finally meets your eye. Her skill isn't a perfect one. Her face had changed ever so slightly, an almost sympathetic look in her eye, still-soft voice carrying undertones of genuine curiosity.
"What kind of tree would you like?"
A shaky inhale fills your chest; your tears have returned. The urn regains your attention while you think. The question had crossed your mind before, probably a hundred times, but you could never find the right answer. The trees near the clearing are mostly uniform, probably a pine and oak mix, but you don't think that fits. Species after species cross your mind, you'd learned so many at this point and yet you think you'll never find one good enough.
A sudden thought grabs your attention. Your eyes lift back up to the trees, watching as the sun filters through their leaves and into the clearing. It seems to almost glow, the earth. The surrounding trees are tall and dense, but it doesn't stop the sunlight from floating through the air of the clearing like it belongs there. It does, you think.
Maybe an oak wouldn't be so bad.
Yes.
"A live oak."
You sit in silence, both of you watching the empty earth. You're imagining what it would look like. She does the same. Alcina is the first to speak, and you finally let a tear fall.
"I think that would work beautifully."
-------
One day, about two months in, you had been wandering the halls. She had given you access to the rest of the castle within the first month, so it wasn't like this was your first time exploring, but the building was so big and you only had so much free time. You'd been through so many wings at this point, and still every one seemed different. Each was beautiful, but the style changed ever so slightly every time they switched.
The rooms were your favorite part. Most of them weren't lived in, you could tell, but they were still so beautifully decorated, so comfortable and homey. Each had its own personality and you couldn't get enough of them.
You were sitting in a particularly bright room, one with a large window facing a garden, when Alcina found you. You had left the door open, so the light pouring into the hallway probably gave you away.
"There you are." She said, ducking under the doorway to join you in the room. The chair you were sitting in was facing partly away from her, making you turn to greet her with a smile before turning back to the window. You could feel her stand beside your chair, looking out with you.
"It's quite beautiful." She says. "I don't often see the grounds from angles like this anymore. It's refreshing." You look up at her, offering another smile, a quiet agreement. She returns it. It's moments like these you wish you could capture, a memory you wish you could relive.
She looks away and takes a deep breath. "Ah, well, as lovely as this is, we are needed in the dining room. Lunch is almost ready and the girls are particularly antsy today. Best not to keep them waiting any longer."
She turns and moves for the door, standing beside it before looking back to you, the corner of her lips briefly lifting.
"Come along now, pet."
You couldn't help the distaste that covered your face. It was brief, but she noticed.
"What?" She says, an amused lilt to her voice. "You don't like that one?"
"Not really…" You admit.
"Very well," she laughs, "My apologies. I won't use it again." She smiles down at you and you smile back, thankful she isn't upset.
If she reacted so well to that, maybe next time you can ask her to say your name.
-------
The nicknames really had become a tad bit bothersome after a while. Not the nicknames themselves, really, but more the fact that they were all she used to address you. You'd spent so long in the castle by now that, if it weren't for the girls or the staff occasionally using your name, you think you'd might have forgotten it.
It was like she didn't even remember your name. You know she did, how could she have forgotten? But nevertheless she was steadfast in her pet-names. It started with a "darling" on the end of one sentence, "my dear" on the other. Then, slowly, she added more. They were never bad, not really. Cliché, maybe, but you didn't entirely hate them. "Little dove" and "sunshine." "Starlight" and "little flower."
Some, though… some just drove you mad.
The occasional "pet" under her breath with a teasing side-eye and a mischievous smirk.
It was almost like a game to her.
Once, when you had accompanied the Lady for a walk in the garden, you found that your temper had worn quite thin that day. The morning had brought another quarrel with Daniela over a trivial matter that really did not deserve such pettiness, but the both of you could be hardheaded enough to put the ram to shame. The argument only ended when Lady Dimitrescu stepped between both of you and lightly demanded that such a childish disagreement reach its end. You each had more to say, of course, but neither of you dared cross the Lady of the castle. You may have been headstrong but you still had sense.
That's why you were in the garden with her to begin with. After Daniela had stormed off, Alcina had asked you to join her for a walk. You had said yes, obviously, thinking that the fresh air and morning sun would do well to calm your mind.
And it would have been calming, had the Lady not been as headstrong as her youngest daughter.
"Well, you've done exceptionally well in surviving Daniela. That is quite the feat, pet."
You look up at her at the sound of that specific pet-name. She had been looking at you from the corner of her eye, her lips curled into an amused smirk.
"You said you wouldn't call me that anymore, remember?" You pretend to pout, but she sees right through you. A chuckle escapes your throat.
"I do. I was just teasing you, I'm sorry. I couldn't resist."
You share a small laugh and continue to walk. Your mind is strung up, however, and eventually you allow words to slip from between your lips.
"Alcina, may I ask you a question?"
"Of course, little dove. You need not ask permission."
You stop walking, eyes fixed intently on the matriarch's face. She notices your pause and turns to face you, taking a small step that still lands her a foot or two in front of you.
"Little dove? Are you al-"
"Why don't you say my name?"
The concerned look on her face morphs into confusion at your words.
"Do you not like the endearments I have given you?"
"I do, Alcina, most of them, but you never say my name. My true name." Your brow knits. "Why?"
She waits a beat before replying. "Why does it bother you? The names I give you are simple and sweet. They are not meant to upset you."
"They don't upset me. The names aren't the problem. My concern is solely the fact that you do not say my name. You can continue to call me the pet-names, I don't mind - I actually quite enjoy them if I am being honest, but it wouldn't hurt to add in my name every now and then. The girls do it. They call me whatever they like but they still include my name."
Her confused features harden, sliding into a neutral expression. Her jaw tightens and her eyes seem to glow a little brighter.
"I am not my daughters."
"And I don't want you to be. I'm not asking you to change, to become someone different. I don't want that at all. I'm only asking why you won't say my name."
"There is no need for me to address you with your name. You know when I am speaking to you and you know when I am not. That is enough." She knows she is being unreasonable, but her innate need to be in control will not allow her to admit any fault.
They hurt a little, her words. You know she doesn't really mean it, that she's just riled up and defensive. Her instincts are kicking in and self-preservation has taken control. Even still, they hurt.
"Look, I'm sorry that I upset you. You know that wasn't my intention. But I don't think that you saying my name is asking too much. You don't have to abandon the pet-names, I don't want you to, but please just say my name. Hearing you say it, even if only once, would be enough for me."
If one word could be used to describe Alcina Dimitrescu, it was stubborn. "Obviously the pet names bother you. It seems to me the most logical course of action would be to cease referring to you altogether. Would that make you happy, being label-less? Would you rather I not refer to you at all?"
"No, that's not what I meant and you know it! As I said, I didn't intend to upset you but-"
"Then what did you intend, starting such a trivial argument? There are far more important matters to attend to. Surely you don't find this one worthy of wasting both our time."
You take a shaky inhale, holding it in your lungs. This isn't trivial, not to you. And she knows that. She has to. But her instincts are working in overdrive and that means the rational part of her mind has been shoved aside. You understand that sometimes confrontation can be hard for her when it comes from someone she trusts. You don't want to make this any worse, but you can't just drop it. You have to be careful, though, because your own temper can slip just as easily. With a heavy sigh, you answer her question as calmly as you can.
"I just want you to call me by my name."
"I simply do not see why it matters." She says sharply, never one to back down.
Your gazes are steady, molten gold against cloudy skies. Your jaw is tense, teeth firmly pressed together as you hold your tongue. There is so much you want to say, so many reasons running through your mind, but you decide against it. There's no point.
You walk away, her eyes burning into your skull.
-------
Plenty of time had passed since the encounter in the garden. Four months, to be exact. Eight months gone now since your arrival to the matriarch's home. It only took six for her to fully welcome you.
It was expected, really. All those longing glances and lingering touches. Poetic words and fiery arguments. It was a constant push and pull that neither of you could get enough of. You were as intoxicating to each other as a bottle of the Lady's finest wine.
Being sober had never been so boring.
Of course, being drunk off love could also be just as dangerous.
You had just had another fight and you were off sulking in the courtyard. The afternoon sun was beginning to tuck itself behind the trees, leaving a beautiful orange and purple sky in its wake. You had been watching it, sitting on the large stones of a run down and partially collapsed wall, when Alcina found you.
"There you are. I looked all over for you in the castle, darling. Then I saw the sky through a window and knew you'd be outside."
The corner of your lips twitch upward. You had been angry with her not one hour before, but the sun always cheered you up. And so did she, honestly. Even after a fight, her presence was so soothing. Now here she stood behind you, arms loosely hung around your shoulders as she rested her chin atop your head.
"It's beautiful." Is all you say.
"It is." All she returns. You both silently watch as the sun slowly falls beyond the horizon, the sky melting into a deep ocean of stars.
You could never stay mad at each other. You were like the sun and the moon. Night and day. Always at odds, dancing around each other, and yet you cannot have one without the other. Star and stone. She was your moon, you her sun, and together you were unstoppable.
-------
You were in the library now. Alcina sat in a reading chair, a glass of wine lazily twirling in her hand as she watched the fire. You are comfortably lounging across the couch beside her, watching the glass. It was late, maybe three in the morning. Or perhaps it was early. Perspective always was a tricky thing.
"Something on your mind?"
Her satin voice interrupts your thoughts. It was a welcome distraction. She always was.
"Just thinking." You break your stare from her glass and meet her eyes, offering a smile. "It's been a while since we last stayed up this late. I do hope we can stay awake throughout the day. It would be a shame to miss the sunlight."
The smile she gives you warms your soul more than the sun ever could. She hums, her deep voice vibrating in her chest so strongly you think you can feel it in your own. "Hm, indeed it has. Would you like to retire for the night? We can leave as soon as I finish this glass, or you can go without me and I will meet you there."
"No, I'm okay. I like this, being here with you. It's quiet. Calm. We don't have to worry about anything." Your eyes drift back to her glass. "Sometimes it's nice to just exist."
There's a moment of silence while she takes in your words. Your eyes meet hers again and a wistful, lazy smile forms on your lips. "Will you exist with me just a little longer?"
Adoration. "Of course, my love."
The two of you fall back into a comfortable silence, watching the flames dance within the fireplace. Alcina slowly sips her wine and your eyes grow heavy, threatening to close. You don't let them, and you know the nap you're going to have later is going to be divine.
Alcina notices you struggling with yourself to stay awake and watches with humor in her eyes before deciding to give you a small task to wake you up. Maybe she'll even have a little fun while she's at it.
"There's a book on the table by the other entrance. Do you mind grabbing it for me, munchkin?"
You look at her in mock disgust. That has to be the worst one yet. She laughs, her grin reaching her eyes, and it makes you laugh with her. You love when she's happy.
"At this rate I won't have anything left to call you." She teases. A quick exhale leaves your nose, a sort of quiet appreciation of her joke.
" You can say my name, you know." You tell her with a small chuckle. You had been half joking, but part of you felt that it was warranted. You can't remember hearing her say it, not since you first introduced yourselves. Even after your argument in the garden, she still refused.
"I am well aware." Comes her reply. The mirth dissipates from her tone. It's almost bored now. Dismissive. You hadn't been upset before, but you were now.
"My name is important." You say, standing. Your jaw is tense.
"It is." Irritation drips from her voice. "But that does not mean I must use it every chance I am faced wi-"
"You never use it!" You snap. She is on her feet and in front of you faster than you can comprehend. Her eyes are angry, but her voice is controlled.
"You will not speak to me in that tone. I have been nothing but kind to you and your disrespect is not welcome. Now, please do as I have so politely asked of you."
You can't let it go this time. You know you should, but you were never very good at leaving well enough alone.
"Say my name."
The look on her face tells you that she is furious. It's a wonder she doesn't strike you then and there. Golden eyes bore into you, brighter than the fire you have both forgotten about. They flick back and forth between your own. Something in the look tells you that, yes, you should have kept your mouth shut. But suddenly she's turning away from you, walking to the mantle of the fireplace.
She's quiet for a moment. It seems like she's trying to look anywhere but at you. Her eyes land on a golden dagger, one of the few decorative items adorning the mantle. It was a gift, you remember her telling you, one she treasured. Her hands gingerly move to hold it, but she can't bring herself to look interested.
Her features are still angry, but her voice is tired now. "I will not ask again."
You look at her incredulously. Ten months. Ten months you have been here, ten months you have cared for each other, ten months she has refused to say your name and ten months you have put up with it.
You're hurt, quite frankly. You've always treated her with respect, always done as she's asked and never complained about anything. All you have ever asked is that she say your name.
Why can't she just say your name?
"Alcina-"
"Enough!" The word rips from her lips like a sharp slap against your face. It doesn't bother you, though. It can't. In her rage, Alcina hadn't realized that the dagger she was holding had been angrily thrown in your direction. It wasn't meant to hit you, only meant to merely graze past - a warning.
Accidents happen.
The sound of the blade tearing through your chest reaches Alcina's ears first, immediately followed by the pained noise it forces out of you.
Your hands slowly reach up to touch the handle, the only part of the weapon remaining outside of your body. It's buried to the hilt, studded brass pushing painfully into your skin. You can't feel it at first, the shock is too fresh. You stare at the place where metal meets body, watch as your shirt is painted a deep crimson. Your mind is trying its best to understand what has just happened, but time feels like it's moving too slow and all you can remember is that this is supposed to hurt.
Alcina is by your side in an instant, catching you as your knees buckle. She gently lays you against the carpet. You had never noticed how soft it was, but here, with an arm resting beside you, you can feel the fibers. You wish you had noticed sooner.
"No…" Alcina is talking above you. Her voice is shaking, laced with something you can't pinpoint. "No, please, no..." Her hands hover over your body, unsure of what to do. Unsure if there is anything she can do. "Oh, god, what have I done…"
Fear.
It's unmistakable now. She's scared. You should be, too, but you aren't. Not anymore. You can feel everything now - the sharp edges in your chest, the blood filling the empty spaces.
The cold.
It feels absolute.
She speaks to someone, yells at them to phone the doctor, before her eyes are back on you.
"Stay with me," The words are choked. When did she start crying? "Keep your eyes open for me, okay? You have to stay with me."
Her words sound slow, so slow, and it's so hard to focus on them. The blood rushing through your ears is almost too loud, your heartbeat a heavy drum.
Alcina shifts behind you, lifts your head to rest on one of her knees. Her hands gently hold either side of your face. Soft thumbs brush away your tears, but it's a futile effort as her own fall to your skin.
"I'm sorry," her normally strong voice falters. She says your name over and over, begging you to stay awake, to stay with her, the doctor will be here soon everything will be okay please just stay awake.
"Finally." You whisper, with what little breath you have left. It's so quiet that any other person might not have heard it, but she did.
The confusion on her face isn't masked. She leans in, trying to understand what you said. She heard you, but she does not know what it means. Her voice is soft, laced with concern and confusion. "What?"
Your lidded eyes don't move, they can't, staring at the same spot of nothing in what little vision that remains. Everything is going black. You try to take a shaky breath, but it hurts too much. The blood is filling your lungs too fast. You are too far gone to stop the words that mix with your blood as they fall out of your mouth. "All it took for you to say my name-" a sharp, pained inhale. You don't need the rest, she knows. The pain in her eyes, the hitch of her breath, the quiver of her lip. She knows.
You can't breathe anymore. There's no room. Your body has betrayed you, or maybe it just wasn't strong enough. It doesn't matter now. Your lungs have filled, overflowed. You are drowning in your own life.
Alcina's hold on you tightens. She wishes she could take this pain from you, wishes she could start over. She has never felt such regret, not like this. Never like this. She never meant to hurt you. You knew that, but it was too late to say.
It's always too late.
----------
Hours have passed since the accident, how many she doesn't know. She doesn't want to. They blur together now, but the sun has come out and that tells her all she needs to know.
Sleep never came to her in the time that she waited. Her daughters built a fire, and her human never left her arms until the painful moment came to place her in. The flames licked at her skin as she gently placed the bundle within them, but she never flinched.
The remaining time was spent by the window of her un-lit bedroom. The village no longer brought comfort, only ache, yet still she continued to watch.
The flames never left the corner of her eye.
Nor does a clearing by the edge of the woods.
Her mind races. The events of the morning may blend together, but she remembers them nonetheless. Painfully so. How could she forget? Her temper was always something she had been known for, and now it had cost her something she could never replace. She let her anger take control and it proved once again to be destructive. Devastating. Self-control was something she prided herself in, but sometimes even the strongest parts of ourselves must show weakness.
It's unfair it must lead to this.
By the time she returns to the fire, it leaves only ashes and embers. She collects them herself, carefully placing the ashes into a familiar wooden urn. They won't stay here, not most of them, but it is the only vessel fit for this. For her.
She holds the urn tightly to her chest and turns for the clearing.
Now here Alcina stands, urn held firmly in her dirt clad hands, looking down at the freshly planted sapling of a hemlock spruce. It's an evergreen tree, not one native to Romania, but it was worth the effort of obtaining. I remember how much you liked this one. It was the least I could do now that-
A pained denial makes her heart ache all the more; she had refused to accept it. Morning had slowly passed, and with every hour, every tick and chime of every clock, she had grown more tired. It didn't happen. It couldn't have. She will wake up soon and everything will be as it should. This nightmare will be over. But it did happen and, deep down, she knows that. She doesn't want to face the reality of any of it, but, alone, she is forced to. The finality creeps up on her. Golden eyes sting as fresh tears force their way to the surface, and the truth finally catches her.
"I'm sorry," she whispers, her voice strained, chest heavy with sorrow and regret. "I'm so sorry…"
The air chills, a cool breeze gliding around her exhausted form. Dark clouds are beginning to paint the sky above her, heavy thunder cracking in the distance. Of course, she thinks. How fitting. She swipes a finger under her eye, forgetting the dirt, or simply not caring. Soft rain is now falling around her. She considers moving, going inside, but the thought is quickly forgotten. Something catches her attention; a subtle, calm sound carried by the wind. She freezes, before she drops to her knees and her body is shaking, painful sobs wracking her body, tearing their way through her chest, reverberating against her rib cage.
The wind envelops her, as if trying to provide any comfort it can.
"I forgive you," it whispers.
I forgive you.