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“Come on, a little closer,” Dr.Raynor instructed.
Sam and Bucky both looked down at their knees pressing against each other and yet Dr. Raynor wanted them to get closer. Bucky gestured toward their knees at the sheer ridiculousness of this moment.
“Which way do you want to go? Right or Left?” Bucky asked as he rolled his eyes. He couldn’t believe that they were having a joint therapy session.
“Why’re your legs wide open?” Sam asked, ignoring Bucky’s question. In a split second, Sam decided not to wait for Bucky’s answer. Dr. Raynor wanted them to get closer, and he was sure as hell going to do just that. “You know what? Fine. Here.”
Bucky grabbed his chair ready to move in the opposite direction as Sam. He was not prepared when Sam lifted from his seat and straddle his legs. Dr. Raynor wanted them to be closer. Call him a little shit but, Sam was going to give exactly what the doctor ordered.
Sam placed his hands on Bucky’s shoulders, “you happy now?” Sam asked. Bucky could hear the mirth lying under Sam’s annoyance.
Bucky swallowed hard as he licked his lips, “This is a little close.”
“Very. What you wanted, right?” Sam asked and shrugged as if their position was no big deal. “Dr. Raynor could even play Next and things could really get started.”
Bucky rolled his eyes, “like you grinding on me would make any of this any better.”
Sam smirked, “it just might, Bucky. The Round Brown never disappoints. It will even make you smile.”
“Guys,” Dr. Raynor called out sternly to stop their bickering. She made a mental note to ask Bucky more about Sam in the future. She watched as Bucky shook his head but now they were avoiding eye contact. “Now, look at each other. You need to look at each other, in the eyes.” Sam and Bucky finally locked eyes with each other, “See that wasn’t so hard.” She watched their subtle movements and their intense staring. She sighed, “are you having a staring contest?”
She watched as they both raised their brow, begging the other to blink first. “Just blink,” Dr. Raynor said and immediately snapped between them causing them both to blink. “Sweet Jesus.”
“All right, James. Why does Sam aggravate you?”
Bucky looked away shaking his head as he licked his lips. Dr. Raynor knew that face, “don’t say something childish.”
They both watched as Bucky process his thoughts, they could see his jaw working.
“Why did you give up that shield?”
Sam looked up at the ceiling, hoping that it would give him strength. Bucky could feel Sam’s grip getting tighter on his shoulders. “Why are you making such a big deal out of something that has nothing to do with you?”
“Steve believed in you. He trusted you. He gave you that shield for a reason. That shield, that is…. That is everything he stood for. That is his legacy. He gave you that shield, and you threw it away like it was nothing.”
Sam rolled his eyes, “shut up.” However, Bucky kept talking, his voice rising.
“So maybe he was wrong about you. And if he was wrong about you, then he was wrong about me!” Bucky said as he gestured towards himself while moving closer to Sam, so close that the tips of their noses almost touched. Bucky didn’t look away from Sam even as he backed away.
“You finished?” Sam asked.
“Yeah.”
“Then good. Maybe this is something that you and Steve will never understand. But can you accept that I did what I thought was right?” Bucky broke their connection to look down at Sam’s thighs instead. Sam huffed at the silence. “I held onto that shield for months, Bucky. Each time I held it, it felt… it felt wrong. It didn’t feel like it belonged to me. It’s Steve. He’s Captain America, not John Walker or me.” Bucky finally looked up at Sam, and Sam could feel the emotions he’d been bottling up ready to explode. “They told me it was going to be donated to the museum as part of his exhibit--permanently. You think I wasn’t just as pissed off as you when I saw them parading it around with John fucking Walker?!”
“Steve believed in you! It’s everything he stood for, Sam!”
“I know that, Bucky!”
“He knew that it would be everything you would stand for too!” Bucky countered, his hands gripping the sides of the chair tightly. “He said y’all were like fucking soulmates--”
Sam laughed, his eyes were stinging and his chest was aching. “And what? Steve told you all this? If Steve really felt that way then he would have stayed!” Sam’s voice was shaking, he immediately looked up at the ceiling. He closed his eyes tight to keep the tears from falling. It didn’t help. Sam bites his lips. “Steve wasn’t wrong about you, Bucky. He was wrong about them. You saw what happened today. Is he bothering you, sir?” Sam said mimicking the cops from earlier.
“Sam.”
“I can see the hashtag now. Hashtag NotMyCaptainAmerica,” Sam’s jaw tightened. “You'd think with what the world went through that America would be a whole lot less racist. I’m a football player or a threat before they realize I’m the Falcon.” Sam rolled his eyes. He finally looked down from the ceiling and stared directly at Bucky. Bucky stared at Sam’s red eyes and his tear-streaked face. “I’m not the poster corn-fed white boy they want, Bucky.”
Bucky’s voice got softer as he instinctively reached up to wipe away the falling tear, “Sam.”
Sam froze at the softness of Bucky’s voice, at his gentle touch. "You're not what they want but fuck 'em. You are what they need, Sam. There's no one else in this dimension that could possibly do it better than you."
Sam opened his mouth but decided to close it as he tried to get his feelings under control. He couldn't, not with Bucky's sudden gentle touches reminding him of Steve. "You know what, I’m done here.” Sam immediately rose from Bucky’s lap. “I’ll see you outside,” Sam said as he walked out the door.
“That was…” Dr. Raynor paused. “I know that look. What’s wrong?”
Bucky huffed as he stood up from his chair. “What was rule number two, again?”
“Don’t hurt anyone.”
Bucky nodded. He wished he could hop dimensions and punch Steve. He didn’t know that Sam and Steve… he didn’t know. “Goodbye, Doc.”
While leaving the station, Bucky ran into Sam who was leaving the bathroom. His face was dry and his eyes were less red. “After you,” Sam said, his voice flat.
Bucky rolled his eyes. They stepped out of the station and before either one of them could talk a nearby police siren went off. Bucky and Sam looked in the direction of the sound of the siren. They both rolled their eyes when they saw John Walker. Bucky couldn’t punch Steve, but he could definitely punch the son of a bitch that is John Walker.