Chapter Text
The first time his wish ever came true was that Christmas morning. Seeing that shy smile change into a toothy grin as the tall man came forward to embrace him lit up his soul. Catching the infectious grin he sighed happily, miracles really can happen.
“Charles, I am so sorry, for everything,” was whispered into his ear, a cold nose resting in his hair. A shiver ran down his spine at the puff of warm air accompanying those sincere words.
“I’m afraid you need to work on apologising, Erik.” Seeing, touching and speaking to him – it is too much for Charles and his eyes begin to water. Erik’s handsome face fell at those words. He attempted to speak but only inarticulate words emerged.
Charles pushed away slightly and looked Erik straight in the eye. “You hurt me, hurt me badly. It is going to take more than sorry to make up for it,” His eyes softened at the crestfallen look on Erik’s face, “but since it is Christmas let us forget it for the day. I have missed you…”
At the last part Erik’s face lit up and leaned forward, when they were touching foreheads he whispered “thank you”. He pressed closer to kiss Charles, lips grazing…
“I best get ready for the day.” Charles muttered as he turned his head to evade those tempting lips.
Pulling back sharply Erik went stony faced and not quite succeeding in hiding the hurt in his eyes. “Oh… Well I’ll let you get to it.” With that he melted into the shadows silently.
~*~
Charles sat under a powerful stream of water mentally going over his talk with Erik, those hurt eyes constantly reappearing. A part of him enjoyed it – the pain of rejection that was only slight compared to what he had suffer, and continues too, but mostly he grieved over what had been lost through that horrible time.
The time after the beach he had been empty. Those he cared for most had left him lying injured in the sand, neither seeing the pain in his eyes and voice at their departure. From that point on there was a void inside Charles’ chest. Only once did he attempt to fill it.
Moira, well-meaning, pretty Moira that any man would be lucky to have but she was no replacement, not even a temporary fix. He had led her on with sweet words, faked looks and still there was no spark. The regret he felt for making her fall for him pushed him into wiping her memory and sending her away.
The kiss they shared came to mind. It was warm, wet and stiff – so unnatural, nothing like his kisses. They were hot and addictive; missing one was almost physically painful…
“… but I have to stay strong.”