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Connor hates school dances.
He hates the loud music, he hates the sweaty bodies moving in a badly lit room, and more than anything, he hated feeling alone.
Despite many desperate attempts to convince his friends that he was fine just staying home and having a movie night, someone who’s name looked eerily familiar to Ruke convinced him to come anyways. ‘ It wont be as fun without you, Con Man’. The next day he purchased his ticket, which once shown to his friends garnered a wave of cheers and two big hugs, one from Gabby and one from Luke.
It was a week away from prom and Connor was still trying to find ways out of it. He didn’t care if he lost a solid $90 as long as he didn’t have to see all his friends, scratch that, as long as he didn’t have to see Luke yearning over other people at the dance. Connor new it was mean, he knew it was mean to want to be the person that Luke fell in love with, to be the person Luke found comfort in and to be the one he would be looking at during what Hanna would call ‘ the most important night of their young lives’. He knew it was mean, but he couldn’t stop thinking about it.
He thought about it a lot, the thought of resting his head on Luke’s because hes just so much taller than him, he thought about swaying to some slow song with him. He thought about leaning their foreheads together and telling Luke everything, how he loves him and how it seems that he had always loved him. He wanted to tell him he never wanted to let go and that he wants to be his happiness forever and always. He thought about holding Luke and never letting go, about being there for him, about spending forever with him even though they were young. He thought about how they would be there, swaying to some slow song and he would tell him how he feels and nothing else would show how much he cares besides kissing him. He thought about it a lot.
He cleared his mind as he realized that they were all making limo plans or something, he had tuned out most of the conversation once they cleared plans.
“So who are you taking to prom, Connor?” Luke asked, prompting Connor to jump a little in his chair.
“Oh, no one, I’m going stag” he responded back and this answer seemingly amused Luke as he snorted laughing
“Really? Connor, leader of The Midnight Society, local wrestling legend and ladies man is going to prom alone? I can’t believe it” he said while smacking Connor in the arm.
Now, on the ongoing list inside of Connor’s head that he uses to explain why he needs to stop pining for Luke is one big point. It’s top of the list, in fact it has its own bullet point, is in extra big font and is highlighted.
Connor hasn’t come out to his friends.
Don’t think it’s because he didn’t want to, he totally wanted to, and has been meaning to, he just… forgot. He knows that that’s just him covering for himself because he has had a million chances to come out to his friends, hes just scared. And he knows that they wouldn’t judge him, to them he was just somehow the straight friend in their group. He remembers that when Jai came out to him, Jai asked him if there was anything he wanted to tell him and Connor said yes and then freaked out, told him his fly was down then ran away. To be clear, Jai’s fly was not down, Connor just refused to come out right there, it didn’t seem like the right time, even if was the perfect time to just free himself from the confines of the hetero shackles placed on him by everyone around him. Those hetero shackles is exactly what prompted the following sentence in his conversation with Luke.
“Well, I was thinking of asking Gabby to the dance, I mean if she’s not going w-” is all he managed to get out before Gabby pulled him into the biggest hug
“Of course Ill go with you, you’re my bestie, I was waiting for you to ask!”
The whole interaction had Luke laughing, but he also has a bit of an underlying emotion that Connor wouldn’t notice, seeing as he was being hounded on by Jai who was asking him to please get matching tuxes so he could ‘score all the hotties at the dance, excluding him of course’
Once Connor got home that night, he thought over the day and he truly could not believe that he had been almost persuaded to go with Gabby to the dance. NOT that he didn’t love Gabby, he loved her more than words could describe but not romantically, never romantically. He swears they must have been romantic soulmates in another life because she felt like the other half of him but he just never saw her in a romantic light, just his best friend that he would never lose. And now he was taking her to prom, damn near one of the most romantic places he thinks he could take her. And then he wondered if that was the perfect time to tell her he was gay, to just make it not awkward and have it be a fun dance between two best friends who would never be in love but would still share such a strong bond between them.
The he thought about it longer and realized that that could possibly be the worst idea he has ever had. Why in the world would he ruin everyone’s perfectly fun night with such big news. He wasn’t gonna burden them with that news at such a lighthearted event, so he changed his mind, and at this point he was willing to stay in the closet until he lost all contact with The Midnight Society, which wasn’t going to happen. So instead of focusing on how he was going to come out to his best friends in the whole world, he chose to close his eyes and pretend as if he didn’t know anyone and just dream.
Prom snuck up on him pretty quickly, one day he was doing his math and chatting during lunch and the next he was at home, his dad taking photos of him and Gabby as they got ready to meet the others. They had eventually decided that a limo was in fact ‘doing to much’ so they were all driven out to the venue by their parents, or by Gabby in Connor’s case. As soon as they stepped out of the car, Connor managed to find the rest of the group and wow.
Connor would not call his friends the hottest people alive, but if someone else were to say it he would have to agree. Gabby and Hanna seemingly had the same idea and went with purple dresses in different styles and they were looking over each others dresses and at each other very fondly. Jai showed up Connor, despite their agreement to wear the same tux, with his maroon tux that complemented his select jewelry. But Connor’s breath truly caught when he saw Luke. Connor has seen Luke in a tux before, many times even but this was different. The only way Connor could describe it was glowing, Luke was glowing. He had come to the prom with Hanna as his date and Connor almost felt jealous of her. He wanted what was best for Luke of course, he wanted him to be happy but surely he could bring him just as much happiness.
He might have complained a lot prior to coming, begging Gabby to skip the whole thing with him and just go have dinner or something, but he is glad he showed up. There’s something so intoxicating in dancing in the dark, acting like no one can see you because most people can’t and Connor, well he loved to dance. By the time the slower songs he had tired himself out and was sitting with Gabby, talking about how great everyone looks.
And suddenly she was facing him and she looked very serious, so he put down the awful punch he was drinking and she sighed, and he was ready to apologize for being the worst prom date ever when she just laughed
“This is such a game of pretend Connor” she said and he tensed up. Did she know? Was she gonna out him to all his friends because he was just such a bad prom date but that’s not what happened. Instead she followed it up with:
“ I should’ve just gotten the courage to ask out Hanna. I mean I could have just said as friends if she rejected me. But now she’s over there with Luke and I mean, just look at her Connor, isn’t she just gorgeous. I mean no offence to you Connor, you’re gorgeous too, and my date…” she trailed off as she realized that she was talking about her crush to her literal prom date and as soon as he saw the embarrassment in her face for saying all that to him, it pushed him over the edge. He refused to have her embarrassed over liking Hanna while he felt just the same about someone else so he blurted it, he said it without giving his brain the chance to process his thoughts.
“ Gabby, I’m gay”
They both looked at each other for a minute before Gabby launched forward and gave Connor a huge hug, which might have made Connor tear up a bit but he would never admit it. Within the hour, Connor had come out to Hanna, ( ‘Wow Connor, that’s really awesome. I’m so happy you told me, you know I love you no matter what. Does this, however, mean Gabby is single?’) and Jai (‘Congrats dude, although I will still be flirting with you, this changes nothing’). The last person he needed to tell was Luke, and for a second Connor debated just missing the last few hours of prom and heading home where his secret was still a secret and he would never have to tell Luke. However, that plan was taken away very quickly.
“ Come dance with me.” Luke was standing in front of Connor, hand outstretched for him to take it and join him on the dance floor. Connor shook his head but Luke pleaded that it was just for one dance and Connor was not one to deny one dance to Luke.
One dance, obviously, did not mean one dance. In fact, it meant about five before the song changed. Some slow song played over the speakers and Connor began to head back to where the whole group was sitting before Luke grabbed his hand
“One last dance, for the road” he said with a smile that Connor genuinely wishes he could take a photo of and keep. Luke was gorgeous, he always was, but under these lights it was as if he had taken on this whole new level of handsomeness that only Connor could see for some reason. Connor hesitated, a slow dance with Luke would surely just make his heart break one Luke realized how Connor felt. He would tell Connor he loved him just not like that and they would have to move past it as if Connor’s whole heart wouldn't've shattered into a million pieces.
But on the other hand, this was the only slow dance he was going to be able to have with Luke, so he obliged. They stood close, and swayed side to side just as Connor had thought of during his many dreams. So as the music played and he felt as if he couldn’t take it anymore, he said everything he had felt all at once.
“ Luke, I’m gay.” He let out a sigh of relief before continuing , “Oh god, I’ve been wanting to say for so long. And not just in general, but to you. I love you so much Luke, you’re like my favorite person in the whole world and you’re my best friend ever and I adore you and I never want to lose out friendship ever. I’ve had a crush on you for forever, its so crazy because we’ve known each other for so long but I’ve felt so emotionally connected to you because you get me and please say something because now I’m scared you hate me and I don’t want you to hate me even if you reject me please just promise me you’ll be my best friend no matter what”
There was a second silence before Luke finally spoke, but that second felt like years for Connor. In that second, a million thoughts went through his head and how he was going to react once Luke let him down easy and how he would try his hardest to not be awkward but once he heard Luke speak, he broke out of his own thoughts.
“ Please stop overthinking, can I kiss you?”
And then every brain cell Connor thought he had left disappeared as he nodded and they moved closer together until there was no space between them and they kissed.
When Connor tells this story, he says it felt like fireworks, but this was a pyrotechnic show of a kiss. It was short and sweet but it held all the words they couldn’t way since they had met each other.
That prom became a pinnacle moment for the friends. Jai had gotten kicked out because he was a ‘disruption’ as he kept going up and talking into the mic, Connor and Gabby were crowned Prom King and Queen and two couples had been formed that night. And as they all headed to Connor’s house to watch movies on his floor, all glammed up, they all realized that as long as they had each other, everything else would fall in place.