Chapter Text
Adora woke up to the sound of a knock at her door, lifting out of her bed slowly and looking out the window. Grogginess quickly turned to confusion as she peered out the floor-to-ceiling window to her side. The sky was pitch black other than the stars she was still getting used to seeing every night as she nodded off. Another knock, this time louder came from the door.
“Coming.” Adora mumbled.
She pulled on her night robe, tied it snugly at the waist and headed towards the door. She opened it slowly and peeked her head out, then swung it open completely. Catra stood in the doorway, in her pajamas from the horde that she still wore on occasion. She looked tired and disheveled, almost as if she had been crying. Adora turned her head slightly and gave her a concerned look.
The battle against Horde Prime had ended a few weeks ago. Everyone was busy rebuilding, reconnecting, and planning for whatever the future held. But change had brought its own slew of problems for both Catra and Adora. Catra had been having nightmares, she wouldn’t admit it. Not to Adora, or Perfuma during her therapy sessions but the blonde girl knew.
When they grew up in the Horde together Catra would have nightmares once and a while. She would look tired the next day and Adora would usually have woken up to the feline resting by her feet. This was no different. They may have grown up and things definitely changed between them, for worse, and eventually for the better. Yet, when it came down to it they were still somewhat the same people they used to be. against all odds, the good parts of them were still there.
“Do you wanna come in?” Adora said softly.
Catra nodded and walked in slowly. “These rooms are too big.” she muttered.
Adora chuckled. The memories of her first night at Bright Moon making their way back to her. She used to think about those days a lot, whenever she especially missed her best friend. All the ways she could have done better, could have done more, acted differently, or tried harder used to eat her alive. But now she’s reminded that nothing could have made Catra stay, not if she didn’t want to. Instead, she tried to look at that rough period in both of their lives as a good thing.
It taught both of them about each other respectively. They understood one another in a way that never would have been possible if it hadn’t happened. And now, everything was as it should be.
“Come here.” Adora whispered.
Catra reluctantly made her way to the bed and sat alongside Adora, who leaned over and kissed her cheek. Catra loosened up just a little, slowly leaning into her girlfriend’s touch. After a few minutes they both laid down, Catra wrapped in her arms and facing her.
“Are you still up?” Adora whispered after a moment.
Catra fluttered her eyes open and nodded in response.
“Do you wanna talk about it?” Adora mumbled.
She assumed that Catra wouldn’t want to, not that she didn’t care. More so, Catra really never did want to talk about the things that bothered her or otherwise scared and upset her.
“Are you still mad?” Catra choked out. It was then Adora realized she had been silently crying.
At first it caught her off guard, the last time she remembered her girlfriend crying was when they were little kids. She quickly got over that shock and started trying to comfort the girl beside her. Bringing her palm to Catra’s cheek and caressing her face.
“Of course not, Catra… We’re still working through things but I was never mad at you.”
“How were you not mad at me?!” Catra cried out softly. “I did horrible things. To you! To Glimmer and Bow! To everyone here!”
“You did really bad things Catra. But in the end, you’re a good person and you did the right thing. You went through alot during this war just like all of us.” Adora reminded her. “Anyone could’ve been in that position.”
“Not you.” Catra corrected. “You're not like that, you never have been.”
“I guess you’re right about that. But I'm also not as perfect as you try to say I am.” Adora admitted.
Catra wrapped her hands around her waist. They couldn’t be any closer if they tried, but neither wanted to be apart ever again.
“I could have tried harder when I left, I could have tried harder to get you to join me. But I thought you didn’t want me and the more you denied my offers, the more painful it got.”
Nobody in the horde had ever questioned why she stopped trying to get Catra to join the Rebellion. No one seemed to care because it was more effort and time that went to something “more important”. But Adora never stopped caring, no matter how desperately she tried.
“Eventually, just fighting you was easier. Pretending I didn’t care, felt better. Especially when I thought that was what you wanted.”
It was her biggest regret and her worst mistake. The thought that she could be a hero, save and protect everyone except for the person she loved most in the whole world made her feel inferior. Inferior as not only a significant other, but also simply a friend.
“I never wanted that.” Catra replied. “I wanted you. I was angry and hurt. And I did stupid things because I wanted other people to feel the same way. I hate that I made you feel that way.”
“We’re going to be okay. We’re working through it, we’re talking. You’re talking to me and that’s all I’ve wanted.”
“I wasn’t all that sure about coming here when I woke up.” Catra admitted.
She hated being vulnerable. In the Horde, being seen as weak was as good of a death sentence as any. Now, she didn’t have to worry because showing emotion was not only seen as healthy, but widely encouraged.
“I’m glad you did.” Adora whispered.
“Me too.”
Maybe everything would be okay, not necessarily right now, but it would.