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"Hush!"
"You're the one who got us into this!" Crowley seethed, venom dripping from his words.
"I did not! How was I supposed to know he was Hastur’s infernal puppet? And you insisted we go in the back way."
"Yeah, 'cause it's bloody faster, angel. And less people go through this way. 'S safer. You should know when your favourite sushi chef is possessed, dove."
“Yes, but Hastur was in his head! He acted the same, dear. Asking about us was completely in character. And would you blame such a lovestruck angel for wanting to talk about his wonderful, loving demon?” Crowley rolled his eyes at this, but the small quirk upward of his mouth told Aziraphale he didn’t mean it. He continued, “Only thing out of the ordinary was the demonic presence-”
“You sensed him?” hissed Crowley.
“I thought I was sensing you ! Maybe a bit wilier than normal, but I’m not normally near any other demons, you see. I thought you were perhaps being romantic and waiting for me outside, with a bouquet of roses, maybe.”
“I told you I was going to Glasgow! How would I have been outside a SoHo sushi shop if I was in bloody Glasgow?”
“I thought you were going to surprise me.” Aziraphale pouted.
“Ngk. Maybe I will next time. You’d like roses? I’ll get you roses.”
“Well now it won’t be a surprise since you’ve gone and told me. I’ll be expecting you.”
“You were expecting me this morning, and I was in fucking Glasgow, angel.”
They glared at each other for a moment before Crowley leaned in to kiss his frown away, smooth those eyebrows back to their normal, unfurrowed position.
“Hmm,” Aziraphale murmured, licking a little into Crowley’s mouth before pulling away.
“That was lovely, dear, but we really need to get moving. If Hastur gets to those blasted ‘Earth observation files’ before us…”
“Yeah, I know. I don’t want him to be able to prove anything either. Let’s get unstuck and just do single file, ‘kay?”
Aziraphale sighed heavily, and Crowley felt it along his entire torso. They were most definitely trapped in that narrow passage into Hell. Aziraphale's sharp inhale pushed Crowley a little deeper into the wall. He gulped, swallowing down the surge of tingling adrenaline that came with that gentle press of bodies. They needed to focus now. There would be time enough later for adrenaline and touching bodies.
"Here, what if I..." Aziraphale mumbled, placing his hands on Crowley's hips and pushing them back and to one side. It didn't help anything, but a quick demonic miracle was needed to stop the sudden rush of blood to Crowley's nether regions.
"Christ, Aziraphale! Are you trying to imprint my arse on this wall? Because I think you just did."
"No, of course not. I thought it might work."
"Well it bloody didn't. Let me try something. Go as flat as you can against the wall."
A bit of pressure succeeded from his toro as Aziraphale pressed himself back. Crowley slid down, hands flat against the wall, until he was able to crouch.
Then he realized he was perfectly at eye level with Aziraphale's crotch, and practically straddling his legs with his knees.
" Fuck ," he hissed, pressing his head as far back as he can to avoid bumping his face into Aziraphale's groin. All they needed now was for Aziraphale to get a stiffy. Later, he told himself
"Everything alright down there? Can you move?" called Aziraphale from above.
"Shit." Crowley muttered, closing his eyes against the vivid images of himself on his knees in different circumstances. "Yeah everything's fine, just a tight squeeze. Sorry if I, ah, bump you. Gonna try to shimmy out now."
"Okay, sweetheart."
Crowley turned his head to the side, careful to avoid brushing his nose against Aziraphale’s groin. If he were human, there’d be no way his joints would have cooperated with the slithering he did to free himself from between Aziraphale and the wall, bending one leg almost backwards and extending the other straight out with a sort of kicking motion that offset his balance and sent him sprawling on the floor.
“Crowley! Are you alright?” Aziraphale offered him an arm. Crowley took it, muttering that he was fine, thank you in the least-annoyed voice he could possibly manage. Aziraphale pulled him to a more dignified position where they stood facing each other in the damp, tight hallway.
“Right.” said Crowley, “Let’s go destroy those files.”