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If one could only have a single motto in life, his would be to make peace.
He was a soft man, always willing to take a step back to prevent troubles from overflowing. He was a soft man, but his life wasn’t just about conceding; he liked to strike for the middle ground where there would be benefits and losses for both parties.
He was a businessman after all.
You never know how much you are capable of until you are forced to do it.
Indeed. He never knew he could make so many compromises until he met her. She was a witch who spent her days and nights brewing troubles, while he was the lid that struggled to keep her concoction within the cauldron. His colleagues had asked him, multiple times, if he had ever wanted to drop her and find someone easier to manage, but his replies were always the same.
No. He said. She was the reason behind his shedding hair, she was the physical manifestation of trouble, the epitome of his stress. She was a handful to manage, but a handful that he could not bear to let go of.
The year was 2010.
She was a second-year college student and he was still a department leader in his previous company. Being the top literature student of SNU, she was awarded a chance to publish her writing with the biggest publishing company in the country.
“I’ve read your draft. It’s good but I don’t think it falls under children’s literature. I will ring up my colleague from another department, you can---”
“No. Do you not understand the message in the story? This book is meant for children and their parents.”
He could understand the meaning between her lines, loud and clear. At the tender age of twenty, her writing conveyed the weariness of a philosopher, but there was also this hidden glimmer of the longingness of a hopeful child.
“Ko Moon Young ssi, I understand what you are trying to tell the readers, but the rules in this industry are very strict, especially for children’s literature. If I agree to publish it under this genre, I will have to shoulder all the backlash from the public and will probably lose my job.”
“Genre… It is rather subjective, isn’t it? Writers only need to pen down the words, how these words are interpreted depends solely on the readers. Anything can be children’s literature if you read it with the heart of a child.” She mused. “Just publish it. I’ll compensate you for all your losses.”
Eyes widened in shock, he studied her outfit. Her branded dress and accessories probably cost more than thrice of his paycheck, too unaffordable for anyone, let alone a college student. Pegging her to be one of those smart and entitled chaebols, he conceded.
Their success came as a surprise to everyone, especially his boss, who threatened and insulted him when he decided to publish her book. Ko Moon Young rose to fame, while he received a bonus so hefty that he cleared his mortgage loans, with some left to spare. As a result, he threw the letter of resignation into his former boss’s face and left his old company.
They met again during the winter of the same year.
“You resigned?”
“I’m going to be my own boss and start my own publishing company. My grandfather named me Sang-in for a reason. Sang-in means businessman, so I’m born to be one.”
There was an awkward silence between them, but she broke it by scraping her knife on the chinaware that held her medium-rare steak.
“Did you only publish my story because I told you I’ll compensate for your losses?”
“It was an offer I could not reject. No matter what happens, I will have everything to gain and nothing to lose.” He paused as he noticed the slight frown on her face. “But I genuinely liked your work. Just like how I’m born to be a businessman, you are born to be a writer.”
A tiny smile crept up her face, which she tried to mask by taking another sip of her wine.
“Ya, stop drinking so much. You are barely twenty, enjoy your youth while sober. At the rate you are going, your liver will rot before you feel the real stress of the world.”
She rolled her eyes and refilled her glass.
“What do you want to do when you grow up?”
“I’m already grown.” She snapped.
He snorted at her words. Granted, she was legal, but he could tell that she was just a little girl trapped in the skin of an adult who lived her days as if the sun would not rise tomorrow.
“Let me rephrase. What do you want to do when you graduate?”
“You just told me I’m born to be a writer. Do you have dementia?”
“Ya! I’m only ten years older than you. And, why are you speaking to me without honorifics? I am ten years older than you!” He gulped when he realised the hypocrisy in his words. “I just… I thought people like you will just take over your father’s company or something.”
“People like me…” She froze.
“Are… Are you not rich?”
“I am. Very.” She emphasised. “But I don’t have a company to take over.”
“Ah… I guess your family is not in the business world.”
“I have no family.” She said blandly.
It was his turn to be silent. Squeezing his eyes shut, he turned to his side and gave himself three tiny slaps on the lips.
“So, by ‘people like me’, were you referring to rich kids who are soaking in the inheritance of their dead mothers and mentally insane fathers?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I’m not telling you these for you to pity me. There are people with problems more colossal than mine, at least I’m not dying, yet.”
“Do you want to join my company? I mean, I’m sure there are bigger companies who are fighting for you, but I just want to tell you that Lee Sang-in is also starting his own firm.”
“What makes your non-existent company better than the rest?” She raised a brow. She had been receiving offers from various publishers, but all of them used money--- which she had in abundance--- as leverage to attract her. But, for people like her, she was looking for something more valuable than money.
“We made each other successful. Since we started off together, we might as well continue our legacy.” He posited.
We.
There it was. The thing she was looking for wasn’t a company, it was the company of someone who was willing to stand by her side.
“This is just beyond imagination.” She scoffed.
“Ya, you can just reject my offer politely without mocking me.” Dejected, he dumped his utensils onto his medium-well steak, eliciting a loud noise that drew a few head-turns from other customers.
It was indeed beyond her imagination that of all the benefits that competing companies were offering her, the one that stood out most, the one that held more value than money, was actually just a pronoun that she had never associated herself with.
“I accept your offer.”
“What?”
“We will be working together from now on, Lee daepyo.”
Just like that, over clinking wine glasses, he became her CEO while she became his first writer. Beyond imagination. Maybe it was the way she said it that made those words the apt description of their partnership. It clicked with him like a piece of a puzzle. That was the beginning of SangSangESang--- beyond imagination---, the beginning of his never-ending road of peace-making.
The year was 2012.
She was twenty-two, with two successful books under her name, while he was thirty-two, with a net worth of two million USD. SangSangESang had gone beyond imagination and became one of the largest publishing firms in the industry, particularly known for its notorious writer.
During the beginning of his entrepreneurship, he adopted a habit of tracking his finances but dropped it altogether when he realised the amount of honey water he had given to cover up her antics.
Honey water was literally a sugar-coated term for compensation and bribery, it was his way of making peace for her, with her.
“Moon Young ah, D. Press Holdings is going to report on how you sprained their reporter’s fingers. Why are you always breaking your own rice bowl? We are screwed!”
“That son of a bitch deserved it.”
He sighed, feeling the pulsation of his swelling brain against his skull. He knew she was not the one to be blamed; he saw how that reporter was trying to cop a feel during their press conference. Though extreme, what she did was merely a way to protect herself. Nevertheless, to the disappointment of their accountant, he offered that son of a bitch two boxes of honey water and this case was forgotten.
In the same year, he realised her late mother was none other than the famous mystery writer, Do Hui Jae. He didn’t hear it from her, but learnt from the newspaper, together with the rest of the world. It seemed that her mother’s critic --- who then became hers--- was the one who leaked the information.
“Moon Young ah, if you are bothered by this news, I can give him some honey water and let him retract it.”
“Save it, the truth can’t be hidden forever.” She said, with a fleeting tinge of melancholy --- or was it fear?--- in her eyes.
He could understand why she didn’t want to let others know about her mother. There were already people who attributed her fame to her beauty, there was no guarantee that they wouldn’t credit her ability to her mother’s genes. That being said, he reckoned there was probably something more to her background, but he knew better than to probe further.
“Okay, I respect your decision. But Moon Young ah, why didn’t you tell me about your graduation ceremony? I will clear my schedule for tomorrow—”
“You are not invited.”
“Ya!”
“Why would my CEO attend my graduation ceremony?”
“I’m not just your CEO! I’m your working partner, your friend, your oppa, your fa—” He bit his tongue in the nick of time.
“My father? Are you a pervert?” She narrowed her eyes.
“Ya! Ko Moon Young! That’s not what I meant! Anyway, I’m still going to your graduation even if you don’t invite me.”
“If you come, I will—”
“Yes, yes, yes… You will leave my shitty company.” He mimicked her tone and chuckled at her agitation.
“Ya! Lee Sang-in! I better not see you tomorrow!”
On the day of her graduation, he showed up with a bouquet of flowers and snapped pictures of her like a proud working partner, friend, oppa, and father.
“Ya! I told you not to come, and what’s with these flowers.”
As much as she tried to maintain her stoic expression, the elation in her eyes was telling. She hated celebrations, not only because of the lack of things to celebrate but also how these events would highlight the void in her life. She had received countless bouquets of flowers, but none of those came from people who truly cared about her. She never had anyone during her previous graduations and school events, but now that she had a taste of what it was supposed to be, she came to a conclusion that celebrations were not that hateful after all.
“These are magnolias.” Lee Sang-in beamed.
“I’m not dumb.” She snapped. “Why are you giving me a flower that can’t even survive a day without falling off like severed heads?”
“That’s the point. These flowers came from a mighty tree. People tend to praise the tree for bearing such beautiful flowers, but this beauty is transient. It is the pollen hidden in the fallen flowers that can continue its legacy.”
She blinked as she took in the comfort he offered through his subtle analogy. She was not just her mother’s daughter, she was not just another pretty face. She was Ko Moon Young, she was her own magnolia.
“Congratulations Ko Moon Young! I don’t know what else to say, but just remember to always walk tall.”
The year was 2016.
She was twenty-six, getting more famous than ever, while he was thirty-six, in the prime year of marriage.
He was starting to regret what he told her during her college graduation; she was walking way too tall, constantly scaling for the skies while stepping on the boxes of honey water that he had given to multiple stakeholders.
Having spent his days and nights doing damage-control, he had no time to manage his own relationship with his corporate girlfriend whom he had dated for a year.
On the days following their breakup, he did not show up for work. It was after more than a hundred threats and calls from Ko Moon Young that he finally realised something might have happened to her. Unbothered by his unshaven beard, he grabbed onto his car keys and sped through the night traffic to her hotel.
One could only imagine his befuddlement when she opened the door for him and showed him the array of hard liquors she ordered from room service.
“What the fuck is your problem! I thought you were hurt! Do you know how many traffic rules I broke?” He yelled.
“I didn’t say I was hurt, did I? In fact, if you were to pick up any of my calls, you would have known that I was just inviting you for a drink. Why are you yelling at me for your own misunderstanding?”
He was stumped, but he didn’t try to reason with her nor explain how it would be normal for anyone to assume the worst when they received hundreds of calls from a person. For six years, he had been teaching her some conventional human behaviours, but she was rather stubborn about it.
“You deserve better.” She plonked herself onto the carpeted floor and leaned onto the side of her bed.
“Ya, that’s not a good way to comfort someone who had just broken up. She was my girlfriend, if she isn’t good, then what does that make me?” He chastised as he joined her on the floor.
“Really? But that’s what people say in dramas, you know, to show that they… care.” She took a shot of Vodka to wash down the embarrassment.
“Why did you order so much hard liquor? I thought you said they taste like bleach?”
He chuckled as she grimaced at the stinging sensation of the alcohol, but he never had the heart to ask how she would possibly know the taste of bleach.
“Because you like them, so I thought it’s better to get something you prefer.” She glanced out of her floor-to-ceiling window and squinted at the neon billboards on the opposite building. “I don’t know how else to show that I, you know, care.”
“You are doing exactly that. This is how people show care, by doing things that others like that they don’t. Great job, Ko Moon Young.”
She felt the heat behind her ears, unsure if it was due to the Vodka or his compliment.
“Was the sex any good?” She changed the subject before their conversation transcended into a sentimental one.
“Ya! You need to stop watching those American sit-coms.”
“I was serious when I said you deserve better. You suit someone who is younger and gentler. Preferably someone who looks pure and has short hair.” She nodded to herself.
“Short hair? That’s oddly specific.”
“Yeah, for some reason, I feel like girls with short hair are more joyful and carefree. Long hair is just too burdensome, it’s heavy and hangs down like a noose.”
He turned to look at the woman beside him, her long hair cascading down her back like a waterfall, its luscious locks adding to the heaviness in her mind.
“Wow. Okay, if you have a friend who is like this, just introduce her to me.”
“I know someone like this, but she is not my friend. At least not anymore.” Her voice grew softer.
They sat and drank in silence, though it was mostly him who did all the drinking and she just stayed in her position to offer her presence. To avoid breaking more traffic rules and have his license revoked, he decided to sleep over on the couch of her suite. He wondered what it was like to stay permanently in a hotel, having neither a house nor a home. On second thought, he mused on the oxymoronic nature of the words ‘hotel’ and ‘permanent’. There was nothing permanent about a hotel; historically speaking, it was meant to be a temporary resting-place for travellers who are on the way to their destination. But, for someone like her who had nowhere to head to, permanence was probably a luxury she could not afford.
It started off as gentle whimpers that slowly brewed into a full-blown cry for help. Amidst his semi-sobriety, he dashed into her bedroom and found her weeping in her catatonic state. In one swift motion, he scooped her thrashing body up and attempted to shake her out of her nightmare.
“My mom… She’s back… She’s back… I don't want to see her! Don’t go! Don’t leave me alone!” She cried as he pulled her into a tight embrace.
“It’s okay, you are okay... I’m here, you are not alone. Moon Young ah… What has life done to you to make you like this…”
Though unsure of the reason behind her fear, he knew that was not the first time. He came to a heart-rending realisation that if he wasn’t there, her tears would have just seeped through the material of her pillow and dissolved into the night, just like how they did for the past many years of her life.
The years following that incident flew past in the blink of an eye.
Neither of them brought up what happened that night, they both pretended it didn’t happen, though they knew the heat of her tears and the warmth of his embrace were nothing but real. There were slight changes in their dynamics, though the gist of it --- her continuing to cause troubles while him bending over backwards to make peace --- remained constant. The only difference was that she began to share more about herself and her background with him. He found it painfully humorous that as a writer, a master of words, her greatest challenge was to express her emotions to others.
He was glad that after so many years of encouragement and guidance, she finally decided to open herself up, albeit just a little.
She made some improvements and changed her demeanour. The changes were subtle, but they were there.
The year was 2020.
She was turning thirty, and he was turning forty. It was the turning point of their lives. He had hired another employee, Yoo Seung Jae, under the position of art director, but in reality, she really was just another person to help him shoulder the problems Ko Moon Young was causing him.
The magnitude of her antics grew exponentially, starting the year off by stabbing a caregiver in his palm. He had crafted a whole speech to reprimand her, but aborted the mission the moment he saw the faint strangle marks on her neck. He learnt the name of the caregiver, Moon Kang Tae, and tried to reach out to him to offer his honey water. Instead of money, Moon Kang Tae showed more interest in Ko Moon Young, particularly in the emptiness of her eyes. To make matters worse, it seemed to him that this skewed sense of fixation was not one-sided.
That was when his real peace-keeping began.
Things took a dive after she turned her book-signing event into pure chaos. On the same day, she pushed her critic off the stairs, giving him a staycation in the neurology ward of the hospital. Her reputation was ruined, and he sold SangSangESang to pay for all the damages. While all these were pelting onto him like bullets, the biggest blow, however, was the fact that she went back to the hometown of her nightmares, in search of her red shoes. It was, for the lack of better words, beyond imagination.
So, he went after her, with Seung Jae, in his red car. Little did he know that their 4-hour drive to Seungjin City was actually a journey of no return.
He met Nam Juri, Moon Young’s non-friend who was younger and gentler, and coincidentally, looked pure and had the joyful short hair that she mentioned.
When Moon Young finally cut off her hair, he was the last one to know. He was used to the heaviness of her hair that had been pulling her down, so when she finally cut her leash off, it was refreshing for him as much as it was for her.
By that time, he had already known Moon Young for a decade. She had made a lot of progress since they first met. He watched as she showed her care and desire for Moon Kang Tae. This was what he had been teaching her for the past ten years--- the ability to acknowledge her feelings and open her heart for love.
He was there when she encountered the biggest hurdle of her relationship. He made a dash to the cursed castle the moment Moon Kang Tae called him. The painful smile on her face led him to her tear-stained eyes. She had never smiled at him, because she had nothing in life to smile about and was comfortable in showing her true jadedness to him. She had never felt the need to mask her emotions in front of him, so when she finally did, he knew something was wrong. The tears that hung in the corners of her eyes were the pieces of her shattered heart that her body could no longer contain. When he saw Moon Kang Tae’s determination, he realised it was his time to step down, for she now had someone else to pick up her pieces and put her back into shape.
Fortunately for all of them, things became better. He got together with Juri, while Moon Young, Kang Tae, and their brother embarked on a road trip. After years of staying in a hotel and being a traveller in her own life, she was finally on a trip with a destination in mind --- home.
The year was 2021.
She was thirty-one, with yet another best-seller under her name, while he was forty-one, a millionaire CEO of SangSangESang with a wife. For some reason, his relationship with Juri went faster than expected. He was now a marriage and a baby ahead of Moon Young and Kang Tae.
“Ya, Moon Kang Tae, are you planning to marry Moon Young or are you just messing with her?” He joked over the bar table during his bachelor party.
“Unlike you, we know how to take the necessary precautions to prevent a shot-gun marriage.” Kang Tae quipped.
“Ya, ya, ya! This is not just a shot-gun marriage okay? I do love Juri, a lot, and I have vowed to her father’s grave that I’m going to take care of her.”
“When I marry Moon Young, will you be willing to be the representative of her family?” Kang Tae took a sip of his soju.
“Of course! I will even walk her down the aisle if she wants.”
The year was 2022.
She was thirty-two and newly-wed, while he was forty-two with a toddler.
As promised, he walked her down the aisle and placed her hand into that of Kang Tae’s. It was a monumental moment for him, because after twelve years of staying by her side, he could finally take a break and watch her soar for her own happiness.
After the ceremony, they had a small celebration in her castle, her home. With a few glasses of wine in his system, he stood up from his seat and gained everyone’s attention by hitting his steak knife on the glass.
The clink that resonated in the room sounded way too familiar.
“I would like to make a toast. Moon Young and I met twelve years ago, and over a glass of wine, she became my writer and I became her publisher. Throughout the years, I was not just her working partner, I was also her teacher, her oppa, and now that I’ve walked her down the aisle, I guess I am also her father.”
His speech elicited a peal of laughter from his audience.
“Ya, Lee Sang-in, during all these years, have you ever had feelings for me? Have you ever felt like you want to be more than just my teacher, my oppa and, I guess, my father?” Moon Young asked, clearly also under the influence of alcohol.
“Be mindful of your answer. Her husband is sitting right here.” Kang Tae joked.
“Ya! You are not my type, Ko Moon Young. I suit someone who is younger and gentler. Preferably someone who looks pure and has short hair. You said this yourself. Do you have dementia?” He steadied his posture and traipsed to her side.
“Our Moon Youngie… When I first saw her, I thought she was just a kid forced to dress like an adult. But then, as I spent more time with her, I realised she is not a kid, she is a conundrum, a 1000-piece puzzle. It took me twelve years to put her broken pieces together, so Moon Kang Tae, if you dare to break her, I will make sure you won’t live to see tomorrow.”
Moon Young felt a sudden sting in her eyes and tried to swallow the lump in her throat with another gulp of wine.
“Moon Youngie… I’m so happy for you. You’ve come a long way, and I’m glad to be one of the many people whom you met along the way.”
“I don’t have many people in my life.” She whispered, her voice wavered.
“Hmm?” Lee Sang-in was stunned when he saw the tears spilling down her cheeks, as if they had washed away all the alcohol in his body.
“You are not just one of the many people in my life, because I don’t have many people in my life. For the past twelve years, you were the only one I had. You weren’t just one of the pieces of my puzzle, you were the corner piece that held me together. There may be many people around me right now, but you will always be that irreplaceable piece. So, thank you, daepyo nim.”
For the first time in twelve years, she wrapped her arms around the man who stayed with her when she was alone.
“I told you and Juri it wasn’t a good idea to go to Jeju, and you didn’t listen. Look what happened!” Moon Young chastised, with her hands on her hips.
“You were the one who told me not to act impulsively, but look at you being a fucking hypocrite.” She studied the goofy smile on his face and found her expression unconsciously matching his.
“Aish…” She gulped as she blinked away the tears in her eyes.
“Why do you have to smile like that?”
“Soojin turned three yesterday and we brought her to her annual checkup. She’s doing great, meeting all the developmental milestones and whatnots. Aish…” She turned around to wipe off the tears that escaped her eyes.
“Do you know how unfair it is to leave your wailing child with someone else when you and your wife sleep in peace? Why didn’t you drive safely and come home to your daughter?”
She placed a bouquet of magnolia on each of their graves.
“Seung Jae and Jaesu got engaged last week, they are so madly in love, you should be glad that you can’t see how disgusting they are. Soon Deok ahjumma is doing well, Kang Tae, Sang Tae oppa and I have dinner with her every night. Don’t need to thank me, it saved us a lot of effort from cooking. I know you are probably worried about Soojin, but don’t be. We don’t have kids, so she will be the only one.”
“Aish… Damn it Lee Sang-in, you and your wife better make it up to us for raising your kid. I can’t even remember the last time I had a good night’s sleep without having to wake up to check on her.”
“How are you two doing? I hope this place is comfortable because I reserved the two spots beside yours. You better be a good host when Kang Tae and I join you in the far future.”
“Moon Young!” Kang Tae called from afar and came to join her. “Are you okay? Let’s go back, Soojin is waiting for us.”
Moon Young wiped off the remnants of her tears and smiled at the pictures of the grinning couple. Giving them a final goodbye, she walked off towards the parking lot.
Kang Tae stood in front of the two dark marble tombs and nodded at the picture of the man.
“I’ve promised you during our wedding, but I’ll say it again. Thank you for taking care of her, now it is my turn. Don’t worry, she is in good hands.”
The year was 2024.
She was thirty-four, but he stayed at forty-three.