Chapter Text
Xiao was very tired.
It was the kind of exhaustion that wriggled deeper than the surface, deeper than the dark circles beneath his eyes or the slight trembling of his gloved hands. He was so tired he sometimes felt he could sleep a millennium and never yearn to wake. The balcony of Wangshu Inn was his only respite. This familiar wooden tower, the consistent creak of the stairs, the predictable patterns of the rails. He trailed his fingers along those loops and curves, his body weight resting on the banisters. The stars hung elegantly in the sky above, and though they were stunning as always from this height, they currently seemed more like they were taunting him. He longed to go to sleep and become blissfully unaware of his surroundings, even if it was only for a short interval. But he stayed put, staving off rest, knowing full well that his dreams would be plagued with memories he'd rather not replay.
Innocent people.
The thought comes, unbidden and unwelcome. It was a burden that he knew would never lessen. Taking the lives -- the dreams -- of those who plead for mercy and have done nothing to deserve it, that is a debt you cannot pay off. Before his thoughts began treading any further into this dangerous territory, he heard the soft clicks of heeled shoes, the noise rising up from the stairway. Restraining himself only briefly from disappearing, he spun around, only to be greeted with the meek face of the Traveler. She seemed mildly disheveled, her blonde hair frizzy from the humidity, and her clothes smeared with dirt and grime. Luckily, she seemed otherwise unharmed, but that didn't really answer any questions.
"Why are you here?" He asked bluntly. Lumine remained fixated on her feet with a shy expression, peering up at him through her bangs. "Well..." She murmured a bit uneasily before cutting herself off. Her foreign accent was far more apparent without the high-pitched pixie around, or the loud bustling of the Liyue day crowd. Taking a deep breath to steady herself once it seemed Xiao was getting impatient, she began. "Well, I just wanted to see how you were doing," she said, "You seemed a little- Um, well, you seemed a little sad last time I saw you." She smiled at him, albeit hesitantly. He wasn't quite sure why she seemed so touchy about the subject. It was rare that he wasn't the bumbling one for once. He silently hoped she wasn't frightened of him. It wouldn't have been uncommon, but it would be just as unpleasant. He viewed her as an ally, though not quite a friend.
Folding his arms, he shook his head to dismiss her concerns. "I'm fine. You needn't concern yourself with the problems of the adepti; they would be rather beyond you, I'm sure." Flinching at the harshness of his own words, he nonetheless refused to backtrack. He didn't really mean to toss her feelings aside, but in all honesty, it was nothing for her to concern herself with. After all, he was sure she must be here for something else. Something like another silly quest or problem she would need his assistance with. Along with this, the problems would likely be beyond her. There was nothing she could be expected to do. She seemed genuinely relieved to hear it, even though what he'd said wasn't exactly kind, let alone reassuring. After a moment, silence hung heavy in the air, and Xiao wondered half-heartedly if he should be the one to break it. But when he pondered the subject further, it didn't seem worth the trouble. Mortals were very predictable. Once things got awkward for them, they'd become disinterested and leave shortly after. It was only a matter of time, and all he had to do was withstand this awkwardness a moment or two longer. He'd had plenty of time to learn this and grow to expect it.
So, when Lumine wandered over to assume a position against the railing, he was confused to say the least. He had taken a few steps away from it when she'd approached, so her back was now to him. Still, she turned to look over her shoulder expectantly. Sighing softly, Xiao indulged her and took his place at her side. He could not help but watch her, bright as the sun and foreign as the moon. Her eyes traced the stars slowly, drifting steadily from one to the next. It was as if she were mapping out the entire sky in her head, constellation by constellation. With a frown, Xiao turned to observe the night sky as well. It was indeed very beautiful tonight, but it was the same sky he had seen a thousand times before. This would not be the first night that Xiao had attempted to put the pieces back together of the peace the sky used to bring him. But as usual, no matter how much his eyes flicked from each star to the next, no feelings rose within him. There was only the empty, gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach that no amount of years could wash away.
"It's gorgeous," Lumine mused, "Every night I wonder if the night before was the last time it would awe me, but it never is. I never get used to it." She slumped down with a pleased sigh, resting her chin on her folded hands. Xiao's eyes narrowed in thought, but he didn't reply. Lumine pushed forward without another thought. "Do you know any constellations, Xiao? I don't mean the basic ones everyone knows. Do you know any cool ones, any that are unique?" She said childishly, a small grin adorning her pink cheeks. Xiao huffed, something between a sigh and a laugh, but nodded nonetheless. "Some."
Lumine took what she could get gratefully, appearing content with even such a basic reply. "That one is called the Pristina Nola." She pointed to a messy cluster of stars. "And that...is the Fila Ignium, I believe." Her finger then dragged to another cluster, and Xiao's eyes followed close behind. His head tilted to the side in something akin to puppy-like confusion. For one, he had no idea why she was telling him this. But even more so, he didn't even understand why she had come in the first place. If it had only been to check on him, surely that job was done. Lumine giggled, breaking him out of his thoughts, and he turned to face her with a glare. "Sorry, just- I never explained why I was here, did I?"
She wasn't really asking; she had known all along. Perhaps his confusion had been her goal. Taking pity on him, her gaze softened, a gentle smile pulling at her lips as she met his gaze. "Honestly, I just didn't want you to be alone tonight. It can get lonely at night if you're by yourself. I would know." She trailed off. Her eyes grew distant for a moment, seeming to look through him. He hoped to convey with his silence a wish for her to continue, and that's exactly what she did. "When I first lost my brother, I was all alone for what seemed like a very, very long time. Nobody understood what I was saying, and I didn't understand what anyone else was saying either. If I hadn't met Paimon, I probably wouldn't have ever figured it all out." Hearing this, Xiao turned back to the stars again, unable to maintain the intimacy of eye contact in tandem with the weight of the conversation. He knew all too well he was never good with things like this.
Lumine continued despite this, undeterred, and he could feel her eyes on him as she spoke. "The first thing I did when I got settled in Mondstadt and learned the language was read a book on constellations. My brother used to say that if you knew the names of the constellations, then you would never be alone. It's something like making a friend, he said. You get to know someone and they stay and watch over you, no matter who you become or where you go," She said. He turned to face her again, an unfamiliar feeling curling around his ribs. There was a light smile on her face when she was finished, but her cheeks had gone flushed halfway through. "Sorry, I know it probably sounds stupid. Especially to you! But it meant a lot to me, I guess. Whenever I missed him, I imagined his voice in my head saying those words, and I'd look up at the sky." Her gaze briefly went skyward before returning to him, half-narrowed from the stretch of her grin. "And there they would be, still there, right along with me."
After only a second or two of silence, Xiao spoke quietly, "I don't believe it is stupid." When Lumine looked up at him, he was looking at anything but her. But that was okay, she knew better than to expect something grand, and so she shuffled a step closer. Careful not to stray too far into his personal space, she settled comfortably beside him. They didn't need to speak anymore that night, and besides, Xiao wasn't fond of idle conversation. Certainly not with those he had met not long beforehand. The silence held them gently, and the constellations in the sky watched over them with a keen eye. When Xiao looked back at the stars, he found that they brought him calm for the first time in a thousand years.