Work Text:
“We need to have an emergency meeting,” whispered Ezekiel as he and Hannah B. walked out of the Fellowship room. “Without April.”
“Without April?” gasped Hannah B. “But why?”
Ezekiel glanced back over his shoulder to make sure April was still putting away the props from today’s Fellowship puppet show. He knew it wasn’t rational to be afraid of a 5’2” girl who wore cross necklaces and pastel cardigans, but there was something about her that struck fear into the hearts of most people she crossed paths with. If she overheard what he was about to say, he’d never live it down.
“We need to talk about her and her… secrets.”
Hannah B. frowned. Ezekiel swore he could see gears spinning slowly above her head, as if she were attempting to process a thought.
“I don’t understand,” she sighed. The gears stopped spinning.
“Let’s stop by The Java Factory before you drop me off at my house. I’ll explain everything. This is our secret, okay?”
“Okay…”
He grabbed Hannah B.’s arm and steered her towards the main door as quickly as possible. They needed to leave campus before April saw them, or else Hannah B. might not be able to keep her mouth shut. His heart pounded in his chest. Ever since the beginning of the school year, Ezekiel had harbored a sneaking suspicion that his best friend was sexually obsessed with Sterling Wesley.
He had no solid evidence that girls were April’s jam. There was only the fact that she was a pretty, popular girl who had never had a boyfriend and rejected any guy who asked her out. He was certain he was the only guy she ever interacted with, and he was not exactly interested in girls himself. But April’s zest for Christ could also explain her lack of interest in romance. Ezekiel knew he was playing a dangerous game and needed to tread carefully. Offending April often came with consequences for months on end. If he hoped to find out the truth without getting into trouble, he had to enlist some help.
Twenty minutes later, Ezekiel and Hannah B. sat in a secluded booth in the back corner of The Java Factory. April hated this place because it had orange walls and gaudy decor, so there was no risk of her walking in. Ezekiel took a sip of his iced coffee while Hannah B. poked a straw into her cotton candy bubblegum milkshake abomination. Once they were both settled, he leaned in and started to speak in a low tone.
“I think April is obsessed.”
“With what?”
“Sterling Wesley!” he whispered.
“Oh!” Hannah B. gasped. “But Sterling is a girl.”
“Think about it, Hannah B. We’re April’s only friends. How many dates has she ever been on?”
Hannah B. put on her thinking face again, then after a few moments, offered, “She considers church a date with Jesus.”
Ezekiel sighed and put his face in his hands. He wished he could have enlisted the help of someone a little bit smarter, but he didn’t know anyone else trustworthy enough.
“I meant with guys at our school,” he said. “She’s never been on a date, never been kissed, and never talks about any of those sexy football hunks. Remember that time we passed by practice and saw Chase Colton with his shirt off? Girl didn’t even look. But she’s always looking at Miss White Girl With the Eyes.”
“Hmm, I have noticed that she does look at Sterling, like, a lot.” Hannah B. paused to take a sip of her sugar bomb. “But I think she always looks kind of mad when she sees her.”
“Yeah, mad with insatiable sexual lust.”
Just as he finished his sentence, Ezekiel’s phone lit up with a notification from April herself.
HBIC of Willingham (3:25 p.m.)
Sterling Wesley got SPINACH DIP on one of the Fellowship puppets!
I know it was her because she had it all over her lips.
He smirked and turned the phone around for Hannah B. to see. Of course April had noticed the state of Sterling’s lips during Fellowship snacktime. That only strengthened his hypothesis.
“I don’t look at Sterling Wesley’s lips,” he said. “Do you?”
“No…”
“I rest my case. April has a big, fat, lesbian crush on her arch nemesis. If I’m wrong, I owe you $20, and if I’m right, I take Venmo and Cash App.”
“Deal!” exclaimed Hannah B. “But how do we prove it?”
Ezekiel clasped his hands together on the table and cleared his throat, as if he was about to make a serious business proposition. He looked Hannah B. in the eye and couldn’t hide his grin. God, he was a genius, and he knew it.
“How do you feel about fake flirting with Sterling?”
***
Ezekiel eyed the clock with impatience the next day during Bible class. He was living for what was about to go down at lunch! After their conversation at The Java Factory, he and Hannah B. put together a plan to (hopefully) make April go crazy with jealousy. About halfway through lunch, Hannah B. was going to get up, go over to the Wesley sisters’ table, and engage Sterling in a bit of light flirtation while he watched April’s reaction.
He glanced over at April, who always complained about having to share a table with Sterling. She was watching, pink-cheeked, while Sterling scribbled on a piece of notebook paper. Ezekiel followed the path of her gaze and noted that she was staring at Sterling’s hands— her long fingers, to be exact. If God had any mercy, he would never have to know the contents of April’s mind in that moment. All he needed to know was whether he was the only gay kid at Willingham. No details necessary.
The lunch bell rang. Time for Operation Rainbow. He and Hannah B. exchanged knowing glances and waited for April out in the hall. When the tiny leader of the Trinity appeared, Ezekiel tried his best to smile and act natural.
April frowned. “What?”
“Oh, nothing. Just excited for pizza day.”
“Right,” said April, still eyeing him suspiciously. “Anyway, I hate the way Sterling writes her lowercase A’s. They’re ugly and unpolished.”
Hannah B. stifled a giggle. Ezekiel shot her an icy stare. No one was allowed to ruin this for him!
They collected their square, cardboard-like slices of pizza from the lunch lady and settled in at their usual spot, just two tables over from the Wesley sisters. As usual, April sat so that she had a direct view of Sterling. Ezekiel could hardly focus on eating as the group made small talk about Ellen’s choice of polo shirt color. (The pale yellow didn’t do her any favors. Personally, Ezekiel thought she should go bold.)
Hannah B. put down her pizza crust and announced, “I have something I gotta go do. B-R-B.”
Ezekiel usually ate Hannah B.’s pizza crust for her, but not this time. He covered his mouth with his hands so that April couldn’t see his reaction as their friend sauntered over to Sterling. April had gone quiet and stopped eating as well.
“What the hell?” she mumbled under her breath.
“Hey, Sterling!” said Hannah B. as she twirled a piece of hair around her finger. “I just wanted to say I think your bracelet is really cute.”
Sterling’s face lit up at the compliment. Blair looked Hannah B. up and down with an unreadable expression resembling confusion. Out of the corner of his eye, Ezekiel could see April gripping the edge of the table so hard her hands trembled.
“Aww, thank you, Hannah B. That’s sweet,” replied Sterling.
“Can I see it up close? Please?”
“Of course.”
Hannah B. took Sterling’s hand in her own and gently caressed her wrist with her thumb. Sterling blushed. Blair and Ezekiel both watched with intrigue. April looked like she had just sucked on a lemon.
“Wow, Sterling, your hands are pretty too,” remarked Hannah B.
“Oh! Um, thank you. I-I grew them myself.”
“What is this?” April asked Ezekiel through gritted teeth. “Tell me what is going on here. Right now.”
“Looks like Hannah B. wants to frolic in Sterling’s lady garden.”
The last time Ezekiel had seen April this angry was when Ellen originally passed on her for Fellowship Leader. Ezekiel scooted a couple inches away on the bench because it looked like she was in a biting mood. He thought about those old-timey cartoon characters who blew steam from their ears when they got ruffled.
“You can’t frolic in Sterling’s lady garden!” April hissed as soon as Hannah B. sat back down.
Hannah B. frowned. “Do what in her what?”
Ezekiel tilted his head and asked in a calm voice, “Are you being homophobic, Miss Straight-Straight Alliance?”
April’s eyes widened. She began to stammer, “N-No, I’m not! I swear! That’s a line even I wouldn’t cross, Ezekiel, you know that.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“Yeah, April, why can’t Sterling and I play in her garden?” pouted Hannah B.
April dropped her voice low and insisted, “Because I like her!”
As soon as the words left her mouth, she gasped and covered her face with her hands. Ezekiel couldn’t believe it! Well, he could, but he couldn’t believe she had actually admitted it. All he could see was her ears turning bright red, but he was sure that behind her hands, April looked like she wanted to melt into the floor.
“That’ll be $20,” he whispered smugly to Hannah B.