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Xiao Zhan sat reclined against the arm of his couch, phone in hand on a lazy Saturday. His roommate and best friend, Xuan Lu occupied the tiny space that wasn’t totally overtaken by the sprawl of Xiao Zhan’s mile-long legs. They sat in companionable silence for the most part, Xuan Lu engrossed in the program she was watching on the television while Xiao Zhan scrolled through his social media feeds. From time to time, Xiao Zhan would turn his phone around and show his roommate some stupid meme he’d found or a picture of something cute that he knew she would enjoy but Xiao Zhan had been quiet for a while and it was beginning to make Xuan Lu suspicious. Turning her head just enough to be able to look more clearly over at her friend, Xuan Lu watched as Xiao Zhan shifted a little bit and drew his phone more closely to his face. Of course, Xuan Lu knew that Xiao Zhan was nearsighted but the way that he angled his phone more toward his face only deepened the suspicion and curiosity that she felt.
Suddenly, the sound of a commercial break was cut with a too-loud, fuzzed-out bassline and the deep, distorted voice of a man rapping in English.
Ask me if I give a fuck about a clique, ayy
Ask me if I give a fuck about a d—-
Xiao Zhan jumped with a start and nearly threw his phone across the room in his haste to turn down the volume of the Douyin video that had started playing the second he had opened the app. Of course the top video in his feed had to be one that would bring him the most shame. Of course it had been a Yibo video. Xiao Zhan clicked his phone screen off and sat the device face down, mortified and hoping that Xuan Lu wouldn’t ask him any questions.
“ZhanZhan, what in the world were you watching?” Xuan Lu asked, the hint of a smirk playing on her lips.
So much for that, then. Xiao Zhan reached up and scratched at the side of his neck, a surefire tell that he was feeling nervous and embarrassed. Well, that and the redness of his cheeks and the tips of his ears.
“What? Nothing. I just opened Douyin and forgot that my volume was up,” Xiao Zhan explained, laughing awkwardly. “Just, you know how the videos autoplay when you open Douyin and sometimes I forget to turn my volume down because I have it up when I’m listening to music while I work out and so it just kind of blared out sorry.”
The last twelve or so words that had sped out of Xiao Zhan’s mouth almost seemed to be all syllables of one nearly unintelligible word and Xuan Lu had to school herself to keep from laughing. Xiao Zhan was always adorable, but he was never more adorable than when he was obviously flustered and embarrassed. Of course, as Xiao Zhan’s best friend and roommate, she felt it was her duty to pry and tease Xiao Zhan just a little bit more.
Leaning over across the length of Xiao Zhan, Xuan Lu picked up the discarded phone and pouted when she saw the black screen and then the lockscreen. Holding the phone up toward Xiao Zhan, she pouted just a little bit harder, really laying it on thick. “Open your phone, ZhanZhan, I want to see that video.”
Xiao Zhan looked at Xuan Lu like she had grown a third arm and for half a second, he couldn’t move or think of anything he could say to get him out of giving into Xuan Lu’s request. He hated it when she pouted like that. Denying her anything was like denying a puppy that was staring up at you with those big, dark eyes.
“Lulu,” Xiao Zhan whined, grabbing for his phone finally. “You don’t want to watch it. It’s just a stupid video. Something that came up automatically on my feed.”
Xuan Lu tilted her head, pout still firmly fixed in place. “I don’t believe you. If it was on your feed it’s probably something you like, isn’t it? We’re supposed to be friends, ZhanZhan, why wouldn’t you want to show me a video that you like?”
For one way too long moment, Xiao Zhan and Xuan Lu found themselves in a standoff, staring at each other. Xiao Zhan really wanted to deny this particular request, already mortified that Xuan Lu had so much as heard the video even though surely she had no idea what the video actually was. Then Xuan Lu hmph’d cutely and crossed her arms and Xiao Zhan sighed, knowing he’d lost this battle. Resigned to his fate and what was sure to be an incredible amount of mockery to follow, Xiao Zhan unlocked his phone. Checking his volume before he thought about opening the Douyin app again, he set it to a reasonable level and handed the phone back to Xuan Lu. She had the audacity to smile like the cat that got the canary as Xiao Zhan curled into himself, wishing the couch would somehow turn into an inter-dimensional wormhole and whisk him away to some alternate reality.
That same effects-heavy song started to play though thankfully, much quieter this time, and Xuan Lu watched as the video started. There was a man on screen - well, maybe man was a bit of a stretch. The kid looked like he was barely eighteen years old. He had longish hair, dyed blue, fringe artfully tousled across his forehead. As the song played, the guy on screen started to dance in slow, sinuous movements. At one point, he lifted up his shirt to show off an honestly impressive set of six-pack abs before he raised his hand and brushed his hair away from his forehead. The video ended with the guy biting his plush lower lip and winking at the camera. Xuan Lu tapped the screen to keep the video from autoplaying and sat for a moment, trying to digest what she had just watched. Xiao Zhan turned his head quickly before Xuan Lu looked his direction, trying (and failing) to conceal the fact that he had definitely been watching the video right along with her.
“Who is this guy? He’s cute!” Xuan Lu asked, glancing down at the username which read @tracer85. When no answer came, Xuan Lu blinked and looked at Xiao Zhan expectantly. Now that she had watched the video and judging by the way Xiao Zhan was squirming, there was absolutely no way that Xuan Lu wasn’t going to investigate this thoroughly.
Xiao Zhan answered her question from beneath the arm he’d thrown across his face. “He goes by Yibo. I don’t know if that’s actually his name.”
Xuan Lu nodded, turning her attention back to the phone. To Xiao Zhan’s horror, Xuan Lu tapped on the screen and replayed the video.
“Oh my God, Lulu please you are killing me,” Xiao Zhan cried dramatically, scrunching all 187cm of him into the tiniest ball he could physically manage. “Stop playing that video already!”
Xuan Lu laughed and waited until the video had run through a second time before tapping the screen to pause it again. “Why are you so embarrassed, ZhanZhan? It’s just a video.”
Xiao Zhan groaned and risked a peek at Xuan Lu from beneath his arm, trying to assess just how much she was going to tease him. Her face, unfortunately, betrayed nothing. “Yeah, it’s just a video but, I mean, look at him — it, look at it, the video, I mean... it’s ridiculous and I’m a grown man I shouldn’t have this sort of thing anywhere near my social media feed.”
Xuan Lu nodded as she listened to Xiao Zhan’s rambling explanation. “You think he’s cute,” Xuan Lu stated as if she were absolutely certain it was fact. “He is cute! So long as watching this sort of thing won’t get you thrown in prison, there’s nothing wrong with watching his videos.”
“He’s twenty-one,” Xiao Zhan muttered.
Xuan Lu held the phone out toward Xiao Zhan but he didn’t want to move and eventually, Xuan Lu sat the phone down atop one of Xiao Zhan’s knees, laughing a musical little laugh.
“ZhanZhan, look at me,” Xuan Lu coaxed, grabbing one of Xiao Zhan’s elbows to shake him gently. “Stop being such a baby. What’s wrong with thinking someone’s attractive?”
Xiao Zhan sighed and dropped his arms from over his face, moving to sit up just a little bit and look over at his best friend. His cheeks had reddened so much it looked like he’d been slapped and Xuan Lu frowned sympathetically, reaching over to pinch one warm cheek. “It’s not like you’re going to run into this guy on the street or anything. Cheer up, ZhanZhan, it’s just not that serious.”
“He lives in Beijing,” Xiao Zhan said simply, beyond mortified that he knew any details about Yibo at all, doubly so because he’d blurted out information twice before he could think better of it.
Xuan Lu’s brows rose and she pursed her lips for a moment in thought. “Oh? Well it’s not like this city is some small country town, ZhanZhan. The odds of you running into this guy are so small. It’s okay that he’s your little online fantasy!”
Xiao Zhan wanted to bop Xuan Lu with the throw pillow behind him, just to stop her from talking about this anymore. He wasn’t going to, but oh, how he wanted to. “You make it sound so dirty,” Xiao Zhan groused, pulling a face. “He’s not my online fantasy, Lulu.”
Xuan Lu leveled a flat expression at Xiao Zhan, clearly not buying even one ounce of the bullshit he was trying to sell. “Well, keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better. If all of his videos are like that, I wouldn’t believe you if you said you were watching them for their soundtracks or their artistic merit. He’s obviously just a hot guy that wants everyone to know how hot he is. Why not enjoy it? He’s got a nice body and he can move.”
“He’s a dancer,” Xiao Zhan offered before he raised a hand to slap it across his own mouth.
Xuan Lu laughed and shook her head, nudging her elbow into Xiao Zhan’s knee playfully. “For being ‘just a stupid video’ you sure know a lot about this Yibo guy, ZhanZhan.”
Xiao Zhan wondered if it was possible for someone to spontaneously combust just from embarrassment alone. He wished with all his heart that it was a possibility. He couldn’t take another second of this.
“I’m going to the store,” Xiao Zhan announced, standing up from the couch in a hurry. “We need some vegetables for dinner.”
Xuan Lu relaxed back into the cushions and made a show of nodding in agreement, figuring she would ease off just a little bit. Xiao Zhan seemed thoroughly humiliated. “Okay. Don’t forget to bring me a treat!”
***
Xiao Zhan was grateful for the cooler weather today, the chill clearing his head and giving him an excuse for having reddened cheeks. He stuffed one hand in the pocket of his coat, his other hand clutching a tote bag full of groceries as he walked home from the little market a mile or so from his apartment building. They didn’t really need any vegetables but Xiao Zhan had to get out of that apartment before he crawled out of his skin or burst into flames.
Online fantasy, Xiao Zhan thought, Xuan Lu’s voice replaying in his head. When she put it that way, the thought made Xiao Zhan want to eject himself off this planet and into orbit. The worst part about it was that she wasn’t wrong. Like Xuan Lu had said, Yibo was hot. So what if he was six years younger, Xiao Zhan rationalized. If Yibo didn’t want old people like Xiao Zhan thinking about him in an impolite way then maybe he shouldn’t be flashing his abs like that. It was only natural that Xiao Zhan noticed, wasn’t it? He was, after all, in possession of two mostly functional eyeballs and it wasn’t like Yibo wasn’t making it obvious that all of his cringey videos were thirst traps. So what if Xiao Zhan had tripped and fallen right into that trap? Yibo had a healthy social media following so it wasn’t like he was the only one that had been snared.
Stuck in his thoughts and attempts at self-assurance, Xiao Zhan nearly walked straight into a parking meter. He only just managed to avert a catastrophic blow to his midsection by jerking his body to the left and into the path of another collision. Xiao Zhan hadn’t even heard the skateboard that he saw now sailing past him down the sidewalk as he hit the concrete with a thud, Slightly dazed, Xiao Zhan sat up and looked to see who he’d knocked into, hoping it wasn’t some child whose parents were about to come clobber him into a paste.
A figure dressed in black, hood pulled up over his head and baggy pants now dusted with a fine coating of street dirt shifted around for a moment before getting to his feet. He muttered a few choice words, dusting himself off before turning to look at the person he’d run into. Closing the gap between them with a few strides, the man reached down with one large hand.
“Hey, shit, are you okay? Sorry I wasn’t paying attention and you just kinda darted in front of me like some kind of deer.” The man had such a soft, deep voice.
Xiao Zhan furrowed his brow and blinked, reaching up to adjust his wireframe glasses on his nose so he could get a better look at the person reaching out to help him. As his vision focused, Xiao Zhan suddenly found himself wishing that his glasses had been irreparably broken in the crash. He would have known Yibo’s face even if it hadn’t been for the tufts of blue hair that peeked out from beneath his hood. God knows Xiao Zhan had spent enough time watching his videos. Throat suddenly dry, Xiao Zhan looked at the offered hand dumbly for a second before accepting the help and getting to his feet. If Xiao Zhan had noticed how large and warm Yibo’s hand was when it grasped his own, who would blame him?
“I...uh,” Xiao Zhan started, heart pounding like he was a nervous rabbit. “It’s, it’s fine. I, it was... I mean, I definitely should have used my turn signals.”
Turn signals? Xiao Zhan chided himself, only barely managing not to slap himself in the forehead for saying such a stupid thing. Yibo’s brow arched and he looked at the taller man in confusion. “Did you hit your head?”
Xiao Zhan laughed, louder than he probably should have, and shook his head, raising both hands out in front of himself and waving them around. “What? No! I...uh, it was a joke, you know? Ha ha, turn signals. Because people don’t have turn signals.”
Yibo’s mouth curved up at the side into a half sort of smirk and he chuckled a little bit before averting his eyes. Why did he have to run into such an attractive man? Yibo’s hands felt clammy, his hoodie suddenly entirely too warm for his liking. Fuck, he wasn’t good with people. Yibo busied himself looking around for his skateboard and spotted it a couple meters away, against a wall. It seemed to be in serviceable shape, unlike the contents of the bag that he had knocked out of this man’s hands. Yibo jogged over to his board at the same time that Xiao Zhan turned to survey the contents of his shopping spread all over the sidewalk. Leaning down, Xiao Zhan grabbed his tote bag and started stuffing his items back inside of it. Yibo returned a moment later and knelt down next to him, picking up a few bags of snacks and one very smashed piece of cake.
“I’m sorry,” Yibo offered lamely, handing the smashed cake to the man.
Xiao Zhan frowned as he took in the state of the treat that he was bringing back for Xuan Lu at her request. He certainly couldn’t give her that cake now that it looked like several people had stepped on it. Xiao Zhan took the cake and found the nearest trashcan to toss it into before turning back to finish gathering his veggies. Yibo got to his feet and shifted awkwardly, not sure what to say.
“I could buy you a new one?” Yibo offered, his voice even quieter. “If you want.”
Xiao Zhan blinked at Yibo, taking in the way he was sort of hugging himself with one arm. They say that you should never meet your idols or, in this case, your online fantasies, Xiao Zhan supposed. The lanky man before him was a far cry from the sexy, teasing guy on all of those Douyin videos. It made him more human and Xiao Zhan very expressly forbid himself from considering how that endeared him toward Yibo all the more.
“You don’t have to, really. It was my fault. I should have watched where I was going,” Xiao Zhan countered, offering Yibo a smile. “Thank you, though.”
Yibo felt that smile go straight through him like a bolt of electricity. Not only had he quite literally run into probably the most beautiful man he’d ever seen, but said man had a smile that lit up the street like sunlight on a clear day. Yibo swallowed nervously, his adam’s apple bobbing as he shuffled on his feet. He averted his eyes to be able to speak properly as God knows he wouldn’t be able to if he was looking at that smile. “I-I feel like I should. That was probably for your, uh, girlfriend or mom or something.”
Xiao Zhan blurted out an exaggerated “ha!” of disbelief and shook his head, smiling again. “What? No. That was for my roommate and honestly, after the grief she gave me this afternoon I’m not sure she deserves that cake to begin with.”
Yibo looked up in time to catch that second beautiful smile and was sure he felt his spirit leaving his body. God, this guy was gorgeous and Yibo couldn’t help but fidget. His online persona was the very definition of what you might call a “fuckboy”, a cool guy that didn’t give a shit about anything but looking hot and being, well, cool. Truth be told, the real life Wang Yibo was a shy, goofy twenty-one year old that only really had anything resembling that kind of confidence when he danced. Considering it would look extremely weird to start dancing in the middle of the sidewalk, Yibo was left to shift around occasionally like he had ants in his pants. Equally sexy, to be sure.
“Well, uh,” Yibo started, gesturing uselessly with one hand, “will you let me anyway? Buy a new cake?”
For a moment, Xiao Zhan was unsure of what to say, surprised by the Yibo that stood so awkwardly in front of him. If he had ever met Yibo in real life, and Xiao Zhan had definitely not fantasized about that, he had always imagined some guy full of swagger and energy, taking no prisoners with his devastating charm. Okay, that sounded like the plot device for a cheap romance novel, but Xiao Zhan only had short clips of Yibo to base this personality on, so he figured he could be forgiven for taking a little liberty. Instead, here was a young man that looked like he would dart off into the nearest alleyway on his skateboard if Xiao Zhan denied his offer for help. So, he didn’t.
“All right, if you insist,” Xiao Zhan replied, smiling a soft little smile before pushing some of the hair from his eyes.
Yibo’s face lit up with a heart-shaped smile of his own. “Thanks,” Yibo breathed, relieved, though why he was thanking this man for the honor of buying a piece of cake that wasn’t even for him was kind of weird when he thought about it. So, he didn’t.
Xiao Zhan wasn’t sure he’d ever seen Yibo genuinely smile in those videos he uploaded to Douyin. The softness of the expression took Xiao Zhan by surprise and made something clench up just a little in his chest. Xiao Zhan hadn’t thought it was possible for someone to be even more good looking than Yibo was in those videos but here before him, Xiao Zhan could honestly say that the camera did not do Yibo one ounce of justice. He was absolutely stunning and that beauty was only magnified when he smiled. Before he could talk himself out of it, Xiao Zhan extended a hand toward Yibo. “I’m Xiao Zhan, by the way.”
It was Yibo’s turn to stare dumbly at an offered hand before he realized that Xiao Zhan was trying to properly introduce himself. Reaching out, he grasped Xiao Zhan’s hand in his own and shook it with a little bit too much serious politeness to compensate for his nerves going haywire. “Nice to meet you, Xiao Zhan. I’m Wang Yibo.”
Xiao Zhan looked down, feeling his cheeks redden more deeply as the heat of embarrassment crept up through his body. “I know.”
Yibo blinked, eyes going just a little bit wide at the unexpected response. Realizing that he’d probably sounded like a complete and total creep, Xiao Zhan looked up and waved his hand around again. “I’ve seen your videos, I mean. That’s how I know your name.”
As the realization dawned on him, Yibo laughed nervously and reached up to rub the back of his neck as he glued his gaze to the concrete. Great, so this guy had seen those Douyin videos. Wonderful. Yibo briefly considered finding the nearest sewer drain to chuck himself into. Surely whatever image Xiao Zhan had of him was completely and utterly smashed to tiny, disappointing pieces by reality.
“Oh,” Yibo managed finally, just a tiny breath of a word. He was grateful for the hood over his head because he could feel his ears going as red as traffic signals.
The two of them stood for an incredibly awkward couple of moments in silence before Xiao Zhan finally gestured down the street toward the market where he’d gotten the cake from. “So, uh, the cake?”
Drawn from his spiral of humiliation, Yibo looked up at Xiao Zhan and nodded hurriedly, grabbing his skateboard before sidling up next to the other man. Xiao Zhan was tall, taller than Yibo was by a couple of inches. When they started walking, he was surprised by the length of Xiao Zhan’s strides but he matched them as best he could before Xiao Zhan slowed down to a more polite, manageable pace.
“So, what do you do for a living?” Yibo asked when he couldn’t stand the silence anymore.
Xiao Zhan hummed briefly before answering the question, too concerned about taking his eyes away from the path before him to look at Yibo as he spoke. “I’m a graphic designer.”
Yibo smiled and nodded, eager to have some more information but not knowing a damn thing about graphic design in order to keep the conversation going. So, he improvised. “What kind of things do you, uh, design?” Smooth.
Xiao Zhan laughed and Yibo was smitten. “Whatever the clients want. Usually it’s boring things like logos or graphics for websites.”
“Do you like to draw?” Yibo asked, immediately feeling like an idiot as soon as the words left his lips. What kind of a person would be a graphic designer if they didn’t like drawing?
Luckily for Yibo, Xiao Zhan didn’t seem to find the question as strange as Yibo had thought it was. He simply smiled as he considered his answer. “When I’m drawing for myself I do but I’d be lying if I said I enjoyed mocking up brochures for someone’s plumbing business.”
Success! Yibo lit up again, encouraged by the new information. “What kind of things do you like to draw for yourself?”
Xiao Zhan pursed his lips cutely and Yibo wasn’t sure he’d survive if he had to see that again. “All kinds of things, really, whatever strikes me in the moment.”
Yibo nodded along as Xiao Zhan spoke, wondering if he managed to look a normal amount of interested. The more they talked, the more Xiao Zhan smiled and the fuzzier Yibo’s head had started to feel. Yibo would ask stupid questions all day if it meant Xiao Zhan would keep smiling like that.
As they walked, the conversation died out a little bit. Xiao Zhan was at war with himself internally, debating whether or not he should bring up Yibo’s interests. Obviously, he knew that he liked to dance and that he was a dancer. Yibo had uploaded a Douyin from the dance studio where he was practicing, once. Even though it was obviously public knowledge, Xiao Zhan didn’t want to seem like a weirdo that had been mentally cataloguing all of Yibo’s uploads. But Xiao Zhan wanted to keep the conversation going, wanted to get to know Yibo a little bit more even if they would only ever talk to each other on this little walk they were taking, so he took the risk. “You like to dance, right?” Xiao Zhan started, hesitating just a little bit as he glanced sideways at Yibo. “Do you dance professionally?”
Yibo looked up at Xiao Zhan as if he had been surprised by the question but his surprise gave way to another smile, this one a little softer. “I want to, some day. I’m mostly practicing for now though I have worked as a backup dancer for some performers.”
Xiao Zhan’s eyes went wide and he looked over at Yibo properly. “Really? That’s cool!”
Yibo could have died on the spot. Thank the heavens that something about him really was cool.
“I can’t imagine dancing like you do,” Xiao Zhan continued, pausing for a moment when he realized how his words had probably sounded. “Not that you’re bad or anything. You’re, uh, a really good dancer from what I’ve seen I just... I’m not much of a dancer myself. I was that choir nerd in university.”
Yibo perked up again, stowing away the new information. “Choir? So you’re a singer and an artist? That’s pretty amazing, Zhan-ge.”
“Ah, I’m not great at it,” Xiao Zhan objected shyly, the softest, tiniest smile on his face. The flush on his cheeks only deepened as Yibo called him ge. It was both adorable and a devastating reminder that he was much, much older than Yibo was. “You shouldn’t flatter me so much, Wang Yibo, you’ll give this old man a heart attack.”
Yibo scoffed and looked up at Xiao Zhan as they came to a stop in front of what was presumably their destination. “Oh please. If you hadn’t said you’d already been to university I would have thought you were my age. You’re not old at all and I’m sure you’re just being modest. You’re probably an amazing singer!”
Xiao Zhan found himself wishing he had that throw pillow from his couch back home so he could bop Yibo with it so he would stop speaking such sweet nonsense. Then again, Xiao Zhan didn’t want Yibo to stop, not really. It was flattering to be, well, flattered by such a beautiful man. Still, he was sure Xuan Lu would start wondering if Xiao Zhan had booked himself a flight to leave the country after the embarrassment earlier if he didn’t get home soon and so regrettably, he knew that they had to get to the point. Xiao Zhan reached for the door but was beaten to it by Yibo who swung the door open and smiled up at Xiao Zhan like a proud little puppy. Xiao Zhan couldn’t help but smile as he thanked Yibo and stepped inside.
Some time later with new cake secured, Xiao Zhan and Yibo were on their way back in the direction of Xiao Zhan’s apartment. Yibo hadn’t asked if he could continue to accompany Xiao Zhan on his walk and Xiao Zhan hadn’t objected to the company. They chattered away as they walked, Xiao Zhan subconsciously slowing his pace a little bit more so that the walk would take just a little longer.
Stall as he might, they eventually came to a stop in front of his building and Xiao Zhan gestured awkwardly at the front door. “Well, this is me. Thanks for the cake even though you really didn’t have to. It was nice meeting you.”
Yibo worried at his lower lip for a moment as his nerves started buzzing into overtime. There was something about Xiao Zhan and even though they had only just met, Yibo didn’t want to give him up so easily. So, he didn’t. Fishing his phone out of his pocket, he poked around at the screen for a moment to bring up his QR code.
“Hey, uh... can we add each other? On WeChat?” Yibo asked, trying in vain to keep from shuffling around again. He turned his phone toward Xiao Zhan and wiggled it a bit.
Xiao Zhan blinked, genuinely surprised by the suggestion that the two of them have any further interaction. Sure, Yibo was awkward and a bit goofy in person but Xiao Zhan was absolutely sure that he had been twenty times more unbearably awkward and who in their right mind would want to continue enduring that kind of torture? Xiao Zhan briefly considered refusing the request but the way Yibo was looking up at him was similar to the way Xuan Lu looked when she pouted at him and Xiao Zhan knew this fight was over before it had even properly begun. “Uh, yeah, okay,” Xiao Zhan agreed, unable to keep a small, pleased smile from curving his lips.
After pulling his phone out of his pocket, Xiao Zhan scanned the offered code and added Yibo into WeChat. The way Yibo had smiled when he’d accepted the friend request had been more than enough reward. The two bid each other a slightly drawn-out and weird farewell and Xiao Zhan watched Yibo hop onto his skateboard and take off down the street.
As soon as the younger man was out of sight, Xiao Zhan sagged slightly against the apartment building door. His heart hadn’t stopped hammering the entire time that he had been in Yibo’s company and Xiao Zhan wasn’t too keen on examining that bit of information too closely. This entire day had been one big, long test of Xiao Zhan’s cardiovascular system and he felt like he deserved a bit of a sit down after everything. Righting himself, he managed to shuffle inside to finish his journey home.
Xuan Lu jumped up from the couch when she heard the front door open and Xiao Zhan was startled by the tiny woman marching up toward him, one finger pointing rather dramatically at his chest.
“Where were you, ZhanZhan?” Xuan Lu demanded, a frown on her pretty face. “I was so worried! It never takes you this long to make a trip to the store and I thought something terrible had happened to you!”
Xiao Zhan laughed sheepishly and shut the door behind him, slipping off his shoes before looking up at Xuan Lu again.
“Lulu, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
***
If Xiao Zhan and Yibo had started texting each other every day since that first meeting, Xiao Zhan wasn’t going to admit to it. They’d been chatting for an entire week before Xiao Zhan finally learned to read between the lines and parse Yibo’s responses into a desire for them to meet up again. Try as he might to keep himself from falling further into the gravitational pull of one Wang Yibo, Xiao Zhan quickly found himself caught in his orbit.
So far, they had gone to the park, to a cafe and film together and tonight, Yibo had asked Xiao Zhan to come with him to the park one more time. Xiao Zhan had thought that Yibo was going to show off his skateboarding skills again but that didn’t make much sense in the dark and Xiao Zhan wasn’t quite ready to give in to hope that perhaps this was more of a date than a friendly hangout session. Xiao Zhan had made peace with the fact that he was incredibly attracted to Yibo and some part of him fostered a tiny little hope that Yibo was attracted to him too. It seemed like whenever they went out together, Yibo was always by his side, looking at him and smiling. Xiao Zhan hadn’t had much time to adjust to the whiplash he’d gotten from the difference between @tracer85 and real life Wang Yibo. Instead, he’d been swept up in the tide of Yibo’s adorable dorkiness and Xiao Zhan had quickly decided that he really didn’t want to fight it, letting that tide carry him away.
Xuan Lu stood in the doorway, watching as Xiao Zhan fussed with the collar of his white button-down shirt. This was the third outfit change that Xuan Lu had witnessed and she smiled to herself, happy to see her ZhanZhan putting effort into something that wasn’t his ridiculously long hours at work, for once.
“Going out to see Mr. Sexy tonight?” Xuan Lu asked, a playful glint in her eyes.
Xiao Zhan wilted and sighed, wincing at the nickname that Xuan Lu had decided to give Yibo. It was almost as cringey as those Douyin videos were, now that Xiao Zhan had met the real Wang Yibo. “Lulu, please. Why don’t you just call him Yibo?”
Xuan Lu shrugged one delicate shoulder but stayed put, still smiling at her best friend. “That’s all I know about him since someone has never brought him around here to meet me.”
Xiao Zhan sighed again and turned to look at Xuan Lu, feeling a bit guilty that he hadn’t introduced the two yet. “I told you, he’s not really like that in person... it’s like he’s a totally different guy. I’ll introduce you guys just give it time, okay? I just, I want to be sure of where this is all going.”
Xuan Lu’s brows shot up and she made a sound not unlike a drawn-out coo that someone might give a baby or a kitten. “ZhanZhan!” She exlaimed, whacking Xiao Zhan square in the chest with one hand. “Do you think it’s going somewhere? Are you and Mr. Se—Yibo getting cozy? If that’s the case, you’d better introduce me immediately when you’re sure you know where things are going or there will be hell to pay, you hear me, Xiao Zhan?”
Xiao Zhan laughed and smiled fondly at Xuan Lu. As cute as she was, her threats often looked about as dangerous as a little kitten wobbling around after a toy. Still, looks could be deceiving and Xiao Zhan knew that Xuan Lu would truly be very upset if he didn’t bring Yibo around to meet her. “Okay, Lulu, I promise I will.”
Seemingly placated, Xuan Lu nodded decisively before she smiled up at her best friend, raising one hand to pat his cheek. “All right. I’ll hold you to that. Now get out of here before you end up changing your outfit four more times. You look great, ZhanZhan.”
Xiao Zhan smiled a bit bashfully and nodded his head. Thank the heavens for Xuan Lu or else he really would have reconsidered the shade of his jeans and changed his outfit several more times. What could he say? Xiao Zhan was nervous. He was about to meet up with a beautiful, younger man at night under the stars and his anxiety had kicked into high gear. Besides, it had been several years since he had had a proper date or a proper partner and that alone was enough to put butterflies into Xiao Zhan’s stomach, even if tonight didn’t end up being romantic after all.
With one last look in the mirror and one last adjustment to his fringe, Xiao Zhan finally let himself leave the confines of the apartment. When he got outside, he found Yibo waiting for him. The younger man was dressed very well but still casually. Instead of a hoodie, he wore an open black button-down over a black t-shirt, black jeans and a pair of nice looking kicks. Xiao Zhan let himself hope for a moment that perhaps Yibo had wanted to put a little extra attention into his outfit as well.
“Hey Zhan-ge!” Yibo greeted, raising one arm to wave. Under his other arm was a bundle.
Xiao Zhan smiled warmly as he stood beside Yibo, nodding his head in greeting. “Hey. Really nice night out, isn’t it?”
Yibo hadn’t looked away from Xiao Zhan’s face, smiling as he agreed with the assessment of the weather. “Yeah, it’s perfect. Come on.”
Yibo gestured for Xiao Zhan to follow him to the little park that they had gone to together before. The walk was relatively quick as the park was close by though it took longer than it probably needed to, neither of the two men in any sort of hurry to speed the night along. As they got to the park, Yibo looked around for a moment before spotting a nice spot under a tree, a little bit removed from the relatively few others that were out enjoying the evening.
The bundle, as it turned out, was a thick blanket and Yibo spread it out on the grass so that the two of them could sit comfortably on the grass. The gesture was touching and a bit romantic and Xiao Zhan couldn’t help but feel those butterflies flutter just a little harder in response. Yibo sat down, patting the space beside him. Xiao Zhan didn’t make Yibo wait long before he sat down beside him.
“I know it’s probably weird, asking you to come out to the park like this at night but... I thought it might be nice if we could look at the stars together.” Yibo explained, his voice getting softer the longer he spoke until the word together was almost a whisper.
The absolutely breathtaking smile that bloomed across Xiao Zhan’s lips had made all of Yibo’s anxiousness leading up to tonight well worth it. Yibo had hoped that Xiao Zhan would like the idea, that he would be amenable to doing that sort of thing with him. It was a little bit of a heady thing to be pursuing someone so beautiful and talented. Yibo had been shocked to learn that Xiao Zhan had no significant other to speak of and once that had been cleared up, Yibo was absolutely raring to fill that gap in Xiao Zhan’s life, if he would have him. Now, he just needed to work up the courage to make it obvious that was the endgame.
“I think that’s a great idea,” Xiao Zhan agreed, smiling fondly over at Yibo before relaxing back against the trunk of the tree, his long legs stretched out in front of him.
Yibo joined him, pressing up against Xiao Zhan’s side ever so slightly as he leaned back against the tree as well. The closeness had Yibo’s pulse speeding up a bit and for one dreadful moment, Yibo was sure that Xiao Zhan could somehow feel his heart thundering away in his chest. For a while, the two of them sat in companionable silence, just looking up at the blinking lights in the night sky. There were sounds of happiness nearby, people laughing and playing and it rounded out what was already a really lovely setting. The warmth of Yibo’s body next to his own gave Xiao Zhan further comfort. He hadn’t realized just how much he had missed being close to someone.
“You know, I’ve always loved the stars,” Xiao Zhan started, his voice soft. “My favorite book is The Little Prince and sometimes I think about what it would be like to live out there among the stars, visiting other planets.”
Yibo had turned his gaze away from the stars to look at Xiao Zhan, devoting his attention to him as he listened. “If I’m honest,” Yibo started as Xiao Zhan finished speaking, “I’ve thought about that too though, mostly when times are tough I think about the stars as an escape.”
Xiao Zhan hummed pleasantly, searching the dark sky for recognizable constellations. It was a romantic notion, exploring the stars, though he hoped that Yibo’s life hadn’t been so full of hardships that he had to often take solace in them. Xiao Zhan was brought out of his reverie by something brushing up against his hand. When he looked over, Yibo was avoiding his eyes, his gaze focused on the place where his fingers had gently nudged atop Xiao Zhan’s.
“Maybe you’d want to explore them together?” Yibo suggested, his tone heartbreakingly tender and unsure. Yibo’s pulse was thudding so loudly in his own ears that it almost drowned out the sound of everything around them.
Xiao Zhan, to his credit, had somehow managed not to go as still and wide-eyed as a deer caught in the headlights of oncoming traffic. His own heartbeat had spiked and he could only hope that he wasn’t shaking or worse, sweating thanks to his nerves. Xiao Zhan looked down at Yibo’s hand, his long fingers still playing nervously over the top of Xiao Zhan’s own. Surely, he wasn’t overthinking this and Yibo had meant what he’d said in a romantic way. If he hadn’t meant it that way, he wouldn’t be touching his hand like he was, right? Xiao Zhan took a deep breath, very careful to keep it from sounding too loudly in the fragile quiet between them. When he was sure his voice wouldn’t crack like a pubescent teenager, Xiao Zhan willed himself to turn his hand around and catch Yibo’s fingers between his own.
“I’d like that,” Xiao Zhan answered softly, smiling as he watched Yibo’s head whip around so that their eyes could meet. “Though, I’m not sure why you’d pick someone like me. You’re so young and handsome I’m sure you could have anyone you wanted, Yibo.”
Yibo glanced back down at their clasped hands for a moment as if he was afraid that in the half a minute he hadn’t looked at them that Xiao Zhan would have stopped holding his hand. Once he was assured that hadn’t happened, Yibo looked back up at Xiao Zhan again to address the frankly ludicrous statement that he had just made. “Are you kidding, Zhan-ge? You’re easily the most beautiful person I’ve ever met.”
Xiao Zhan huffed a soft breath and lowered his head, looking for all the world that he was about to argue with that assertion and Yibo was very much not here for that, not one bit. Stubborn as an ox, Yibo dug in his metaphorical heels and doubled down. “I mean it. You’re so beautiful and kind, Zhan-ge.”
Yibo squeezed Xiao Zhan’s hand hopefully, his gaze fixed on Xiao Zhan’s face. He hoped that his sincerity was properly conveyed and moreover, that Xiao Zhan accepted that what Yibo had said was nothing but the truth. When Xiao Zhan met his gaze again, there was infinite softness in the depths of his eyes and the slightest hint of a flush on his cheeks. Xiao Zhan looked at Yibo quietly for a moment, leaning closer and closer until they were mere centimeters away. “You’re really something, Wang Yibo,” Xiao Zhan murmured, his gaze dropping to Yibo’s plush lips. Xiao Zhan let his eyes slip closed as he pressed his lips against Yibo’s in a kiss.
Yibo felt as if he had very well jettisoned free of the Earth’s atmosphere and joined the stars. He felt warm all over and so lightheaded that he thought he might pass out. Xiao Zhan’s lips were soft and warm and most importantly, they were currently touching his own. Yibo pressed into the kiss eagerly, shifting and turning his body toward Xiao Zhan’s a little bit to make things easier for the both of them. If he was honest, Yibo had only the vaguest idea what he was doing but damn if he wasn’t trying his best. When Xiao Zhan pulled back, Yibo’s eyes stayed closed for a moment as he focused on the lingering warmth where Xiao Zhan had kissed him.
“Sorry,” Yibo breathed, his his eyelashes fluttering as he opened his eyes. “That was probably the worst kiss you’ve ever had. I, uh...haven’t kissed all that many people.”
Xiao Zhan was thunderstruck and it showed. Trying to school his expression a little and failing, Xiao Zhan sought clarification. “Really? I don’t believe that for a second. The way you dance...”
Yibo laughed softly and shrugged his shoulders in bashful confirmation. “It’s easy to put that sort of feeling into dancing, even if you don’t have any actual experience. It’s different feeling the music and moving your body, following choreography. I’ve just...never met anyone I liked enough to want to kiss or touch them.”
Xiao Zhan felt as if the ground had opened up beneath him and he was falling to the Earth’s core. It was inconceivable that Wang Yibo, a man that could move his body like sin incarnate was as pure as the driven snow or even close to it. Xiao Zhan’s expression must have changed in some way because of Yibo’s revelation because the next thing he knew, Yibo was squeezing his hand again.
“That’s... are you okay with that?” Yibo asked, worrying his lower lip again briefly.
Coming back to himself, Xiao Zhan’s vision focused on Yibo again and immediately he regretted letting himself get carried away by the surprise of it all. Yibo was confessing something to him and Xiao Zhan had probably made him worry that he was about to be rejected for it. His expression softening, Xiao Zhan reached out and placed his free hand on Yibo’s cheek gently, eager to clarify. “Of course I am. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. I just assumed otherwise and I shouldn’t have assumed anything.”
Yibo sighed in relief as he pressed his soft cheek into Xiao Zhan’s palm like a little kitten seeking more pets. He closed his eyes and stayed there for a moment. “Good. I was worried.”
Xiao Zhan marveled for a moment at the softness of Yibo’s cheek, half tempted to give it a little squish. Instead, he ran his thumb along Yibo’s cheekbone as he gazed at the younger man. His boyfriend? Wait, they were boyfriends now, right? Xiao Zhan felt like an idiot for wanting to clear the matter up but it would drive him absolutely up the wall if he didn’t.
“So, just to be clear, you want to date me, right?” Xiao Zhan asked lamely, laughing at how ridiculous the words sounded to his own ears.
Yibo opened his eyes and laughed in response to the question asked before smiling brightly back at Xiao Zhan. In this happy moment, Yibo was more beautiful than the brightest star in the night sky and Xiao Zhan counted himself as incredibly lucky to be caught in his orbit. “Yes, I want to date you Zhan-ge,” Yibo confirmed.
“Good,” Xiao Zhan said with a sigh, laughing at himself. Any further words he might have spoken were interrupted by Yibo’s lips on his own as the younger man leaned in for an encore kiss. Xiao Zhan guided him through it this time, gentling the movement of their lips against each other to offset Yibo’s eagerness and inexperience.
Parting from their kiss only barely, Yibo chuckled. “I really like you...and I’m glad you like me, Zhan-ge, even if the actual product may differ from what was advertised online,” Yibo joked, smiling against Xiao Zhan’s lips before kissing him again sweetly.