Chapter Text
—Harry POV—
"As in, the Harry Potter? From the books? And Draco Malfoy? The bad guy?"
I politely cut 'Doctor Baker' off: "I-I, read somewhere that you aren't allowed to share patients' information. That... it's illegal. You can't do it."
"Oh, yes. Under the laws of HIPAA, I cannot disclose any of a patient's personal information, and what happens in this room, stays in this room. The only exception to this law is that I can disclose any and all information if there are any emergencies, and I am led to believe that you are an immediate danger to yourself or others. I am also allowed to share information with anyone that might be taking care of you if I find it necessary or helpful that they know."
I blinked a couple of times, swallowing my nerves. "Uhm, Right... er, because of these books, you can't go around telling people that I, uhm..." I found myself struggling to speak, and bowed my head in concentration, leg bouncing up and down. I felt Draco's hand find my knee. He squeezed gently, to bring me back, then took the opportunity to speak:
"Disclosing our information is dangerous at the moment, but we found it more crucial that Harry comes and speaks to a professional. If for any reason we believe that you will not keep us under secrecy, or find that you have decided to announce to the world that the Wizarding World is in fact real, we will be leaving, and erasing your memory. Also note that your lack of forethought will put us in danger, and will land us both in prison for seeking you out." He stated. Spoken like a true professional. I let out a rueful laugh, fidgeting with my sleeve.
"I see, and I understand fully the gravity of your predicament. Well, I assure you there is absolutely nothing to worry about." He said, taking out his clipboard. "So, Harry, Draco is your..." My heart rate sped up, making me tremble, and for a second I thought I wouldn't be able to answer the man.
"Boyfriend." Draco interrupted. "We are in a relationship."
"I see." He mumbled, scribbling in his notepad. "So, tell me about yourselves- I mean, the two of you. How did this come to be?" He said, trying and failing to hide his bewilderment.
"I ran into him in Muggle America... we began speaking, and it just, happened." I explained, glancing up at the man every so-often, growing antsy over the sound of his pen harshly scraping the paper as he wrote whatever he seemed to find so noteworthy.
"I see, and..." He moved his hands in a circular motion, as though to prompt us to continue speaking.
"And what?" I questioned.
"Well, forgive me, but the books talk about you and Ginny Weasley," I flinched slightly at that. "And you married..." He pointed at Draco "Forgive me, I don't remember...?"
"Well I was married to her," I bit harshly, before calming down, keeping an intense stare. "We divorced. It was mutual. But that's not why I'm here, I-"
"If you must know, Astoria passed during childbirth eight years ago." Draco stated, clipping his voice.
"I see- well, it's not surprising," I gave him a look of nasty surprise. 'Not surprising?' What is that supposed to mean? I forced myself to calm down when I remembered that he must have somehow known about Astoria's blood curse, through one source or another. I don't even know anymore, and I should assume that everyone knows every excruciating detail about my life, and that of anyone even loosely associated with me.
"Harry, I couldn't help but notice you have quite the habit of fidgeting and moving around. You also have a particular interest in your sleeve, there."
"I-I'm just feeling anxious, sir. It's nothing."
"I see, well how about I give you some tips before nothing turns into something. Have you ever heard of grounding techniques?"
"Kind of?" I replied, hiding my feverishness, and slight annoyance.
"Let's practice one of them now, this is a common one, and you can do it anytime, anywhere, alone, or with blondie over here." He chuckled, placing his clipboard on the desk. He sat with a wide, open stance, asking me to do the same. I glanced at Draco, who took no time to mirror the man's position. I hesitantly did the same. This is stupid. I thought stubbornly.
5 things you can see, four things you can feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. That's what we did, breathing deeply throughout. I did feel the tightness in my chest loosen, and I felt more aware of my surroundings, and less of my own little world, but I wouldn't dare admit that to the man.
"Now that we're a little more relaxed, why don't you tell me what brought you here today." I glanced towards Draco for reassurance. He gave a single encouraging nod.
"Uhm, last month, I..." I looked at Draco, who slid his hand over to mine, silent reassurance. "I told Draco that I was," I swallowed, the hairs in the back of my neck rising in alarm.
"Take your time, remember to breathe as well." I took a breath that felt more forced and mandatory than anything else, in response to the man's words.
"I told him that I had been considering, you know, just... leaving."
"As in suicide?" He asked, presumably for clarification. I gave a short nod, once again avoiding eye contact, finding the grey carpet on the floor more welcoming than the current situation.
"I see. Was that the first time you'd had those thoughts?"
"No." I responded. Why does he say 'I see' so much? Truthfully, it was getting annoying. I found myself picking at the stitching of my jeans.
"Are you still having these thoughts?" He nudged the subject onward, much to my dislike. I can disclose any and all information if I am led to believe that you are an immediate danger to yourself.
I glanced around the room, then to Draco, who looked at me with eyes pleading for the truth, the truth that only he knew, that I only trusted him to know.
"No, no. Not anymore."
————
"You didn't tell him." Commented Draco as we entered the house, now with Scorpius, who we'd picked up from Ron and Hermione's.
"Aren't we observant." I chided bitterly, stepping through the fireplace and finding my way to the nearest couch, hugging my knees to my chest, resting my head to the side.
"How do you feel? Your first Therapist visit, was it okay? We learned some things." He suggested gently. I sighed in annoyance.
"Yeah, like the fact that he assumes the books are one-hundred percent fact, and can't keep his head out of his arse long enough to realize I'm uncomfortable." The couch dipped as Draco took a seat next to me.
"Well, to be fair, we are both famous even to the Muggles now."
"Thanks. I feel loads better." I remarked sarcastically.
Just then, a loud collective shriek startled me, and I was bombarded by about three owls, who barged through the open window and dropped letters on my desk, next to the day's prophet, which I'd chucked into the bin beside the desk that morning. I sighed as Draco stood to thumb through the letters, before chucking them all into the fireplace, well, all save one. He gave me a firm stare, handing it to me.
"These idiots don't know how to shut up. The only letter worth reading is this one. From Teddy." He told me. I opened it, not really minding the contents, before tossing it aside, staying in my grumpy position with my legs still drawn to my chest. Draco sat back down.
"Did you not like the session? We'll find a new one. We don't have to see him again..."
"I wasn't going back in there even if you dragged me back to his office." I replied, feeling my chest weigh me down in guilt. My bitter expression was replaced by a frown, and I glanced up at Draco, before looking back down at my knees. "Sorry... I-" I sighed. "I-I just don't feel right having to trust strangers with this stuff. I know you mean well, and no matter how many ways you word it to take the blame off of me, I know that I'm scaring you, and I know my stubbornness is just making you feel more in the dark, I-I know." I blinked a few times, sucking in a breath.
"I..." I wanted to apologize, but really, what good would that do him? I'm sitting here refusing to tell a professional why I so desperately want to end it, and Draco has held me every night since Halloween, because he won't say it, but he's scared that any second I'll slip away, and I know I can't do anything to soothe his qualm, because I also feel like any day could be my last.
I was pulled from my thoughts at the feeling of Draco bringing an arm around me.
"We'll find someone new." He began softly. "But you have to promise me you'll trust just a bit easier. I'm there the whole time, so you know that if anything, anything at all, I can back you up, or comfort you, or anything you need. But I'm practically begging you, I need you, to please, cooperate. I know it's not what you like, it's not ideal, you don't want more publicity. But please... for me?"
"Yeah, yeah... I," I took a deep breath, falling into a normal sitting position. "I'm trying my best..." there was a tense, somber silence in the air, and I sought to fix it. "The uhm, grounding technique... I thought it was pretty nice. I found it helpful." I said with a small smile, turning to meet his eyes. He looked up at me, half hopeful.
"Yeah?" He asked, looking for confirmation.
"Yeah. I think I'm going to try that the next time I feel out of control." I said. My smile grew, as did his.
"That's great. Hey," he took my hand and squeezed it in reassurance. "We're going to make it, you're going to make it. You're strong, I just know that you can work past this." My smile faltered, but ultimately stayed put.
"Okay." I placed my head on his shoulder, and he placed his own on mine.
"What was Teddy's Owl about?" He asked after a few moments of comfortable silence, reminding me of the letter I previously chucked to the side, that I had nearly entirely forgotten about.
"He says he wants to spend Holiday with us, and would like to bring a friend home as well. He says that his friends house isn't the best option at the moment... I was hoping I could tell him that he can bring his friend." I explained hopefully.
"Yeah, he can bring his friend. What's his name?"
"Luca."
"Well, it seems we'll be meeting Luca in about a week, then."