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Utahime sat quietly in the front seat of Nanami’s car. She fiddled with her dress and looked outside the window. Rows of trees surrounded a field wide enough for a football stadium and she could see a lot of people circling what seemed to be like a bonfire in the middle of a clearing.
The car stopped and Nanami turned off the ignition before going out of the car.
"We're here. Do you want to stay or you wanna come with?"
Utahime just shook her head at him.
"You gonna be fine out here?”
Utahime nodded.
"Okay, then. Message me if anything,” Nanami said and went into the direction of the party.
She could hear loud music and people talking from afar but she decided to wait for him under the tree until she eventually fell asleep.
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Gojo took another can from the cooler. He and the rest of the school were celebrating their win against XX High in a field behind the park.
"Hey, wanna go to my house? My parents won't be back until tomorrow," a sultry voice whispered in his ears. Nana, a girl he was recently fucking, was clinging to his arm like a snake. He didn't like it one bit. He was not in the mood.
He removed her hands and walked towards his friends who were enjoying and drinking near the bonfire.
"I should go home," he said to Nanami. "Still early, man," Nanami replied after looking at his watch.
Nanami was the captain of their basketball team, and also one of his best friends.
"My mom needs me," Gojo replied.
Nanami looked at him with concern before answering, "Okay. Be safe."
“Thanks.”
Gojo was walking towards his car when he found someone sitting under a tree. A girl?
He moved towards her. The girl was wearing a blue summer dress, dark hair all over her face and she was fast asleep.
Gojo took a step closer and sat beside her. He caught a piece of her hair blown by the wind and tucked them behind her ear.
He looked back to her face and suddenly felt as if his chest was being squeezed tightly as a pair of chocolate brown eyes stared right at him.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
Gojo could feel something pounding in his chest. A fast, heavy rhythm somewhere deep within.
I've seen those eyes before.
They were staring at each other for a long time before he heard a branch cracking as if someone had stepped on it, breaking the spell and surprising them both.
He turned around and saw Nanami, arms folded on his chest. "Gojo, I thought you were going home," Nanami stared at him, hard.
"I, uh, saw someone and thought maybe I'd check." The girl in front of him suddenly stood up and shook some dirt off her dress. Then she walked towards Nanami.
Gojo frowned. He couldn't understand what he was feeling, it was something heavy and negative like he wanted to strangle someone and it was all directed to his friend. He clenched his teeth and breathed deeply.
"Do you know her?" He asked, hands fisted at his sides.
“Why?” Nanami raised his brows at him.
He felt like hitting his best friend.
“I was the first to ask.”
Nanami looked at him for a few moments.
"She's my cousin."
The heaviness on his chest was gone all of a sudden and he looked at her again.
She smiled.
His mind was suddenly devoid of anything and all he could see was the girl in front of him. He couldn't breathe. Gojo felt as if he was being slammed into a huge boulder over and over again.
"You have a cousin?" He asked, breathlessly. He couldn't seem to take his eyes off of her.
"Yeah,” Nanami said. “You’ve met her before, when we were kids."
Gojo snapped his head at him.
"This is Utahime."
Gojo's eyes widened. Utahime? He remembered the little girl whose laugh made his day brighter. Whose smile made his insides squeeze tighter. Whose touch made him feel invisible. And whose words made him stronger, "Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game, Satoru."
Nanami turned to his cousin who smiled at him, encouraging him to say what he was about to, before looking straight into his best friend’s eyes.
"She's here for our senior year --"
Gojo interrupted him, "Why don't you let her speak for herself?
Nanami paused for a few seconds before answering him, and Gojo's eyes widened as he heard his words.
"She doesn’t speak.”
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"That is your room for the first period," Nanami pointed at a door to his right. Utahime just nodded. "Text me if there's anything you need," He said before moving to the direction of his class.
Utahime breathed deeply then entered the room. Looking around, she saw one pair of eyes focused on her. It was just as blue as the sky. She felt like she would be lost, looking at it forever.
Thump, Thump, Thump. She pressed her hand to her chest and smiled at him. She saw how his eyes widened all of a sudden and his mouth parted slightly. Gojo Satoru was still as gorgeous and as beautiful as ever.
Utahime gathered her courage and moved to the empty seat beside him.
"So you're the new student everyone was talkin' about," Gojo said as she settled down. Her breath stopped when she looked into those sky blue eyes that seemed endless.
She opened her mouth, intending to reply, and stilled.
She was shocked beyond herself. Because she wanted to talk. She wanted to speak, speak to him. After all those years of not being able to. It felt as if he was coaxing her to get better. To be better.
"What's wrong?" Gojo sounded concerned. He was very worried, and she could see it in his eyes.
Still, she wanted to talk.
"Hey Utahime, are you okay?"
Her world righted itself when she heard him speak her name like a caress. She was suddenly capable of anything. To let go of the past that haunted her to the point of losing her voice.
She felt brave.
"Yes," she whispered. He looked at her as if she was sprouting wings behind her head.
She smiled at him and said again in a whisper, "Thank you, Satoru."
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"What do you want, Satoru," Nanami wiped his forehead with his towel. They were practicing in the gym when Gojo told him he needed a favor.
"I want her. I mean I want her number," Gojo sat down on the bench and drank from his bottle.
"Then ask her," Of course Nanami knew who he was talking about.
“...”
“No.” Nanami said firmly.
"Why?"
"If she doesn’t want to give you herself, then I won’t." Nanami walked towards their locker room.
Gojo was uncharacteristically silent for a while then said, “I haven’t asked.”
Nanami turned around and saw him looking at something on the floor.
“You? The great Gojo Satoru who is known to be a manwhore is scared of asking for my cousin’s number?” Nanami laughed dryly.
“I’ve never been the guy who asks something from a girl.”
Nanami rolled his eyes and muttered, “Of course.”
"If I beg, would you give it to me?"
Nanami could hear the hope in his voice, “As much as I’d like to see that, I respect my cousin’s decision. So no. Besides, I won’t let her be a part of the women you only fuck and drop."
Gojo’s eyes flashed, “If I told you she’s different, will you give it to me?”
“... No.”
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Utahime dreaded lunch. No, scratch that, she’s still afraid of crowds. She’s afraid of meeting a lot of people who would force her to speak. Class had been different because her teachers were informed of her circumstances.
These past few days, she would eat her lunch where people don't usually go. At first, Gojo and Nanami tried to take her with them to their table inside but she refused. They gave up eventually. Although sometimes, Gojo would accompany her in the library, under the maple tree, or on the bleachers.
He was sweet. He took care of her when Nanami was not around, showed her to her next class, came with her to her lockers during breaks, and helped her during class. Lucky for her, they almost have the same schedule.
Right now, the only person she trusted with her voice was Gojo and she couldn’t understand how and why. Nanami and his parents haven’t even heard her speak since that happened.
Her eyes suddenly lost its focus and she leaned into a wall to steady herself. Memories from that night always make her feel sick. She took a deep breath to calm herself before she heard someone speak.
“What about that girl? The one who can’t speak, Nanami’s cousin?” Utahime heard Nana ask Gojo. The two were intimately close, standing behind a pillar.
Utahime’s heart squeezed as she waited for Gojo to answer.
“What about her?” Gojo’s voice sounded angry.
“I saw you two getting cozy these past few days. Well, considering she’s Nanami’s cousin and all that, I guess it’s only natural for you to accompany her out of charity. What’s her deal anyway?”
“Hey.”
Utahime noticed the two of them glanced in her direction as a handsome guy with blonde hair looked at her with concern. “You okay?”
Utahime did not answer. She’s not familiar with this guy and she didn’t want to speak to him. Her heart was still furiously beating in her chest as a wave of nausea suddenly hit her again.
“She’s fine, Zenin.” Utahime exhaled as she saw Gojo striding towards them with brows furrowed, leaving the girl he’s been with looking at her with pure disgust.
Utahime was relieved as Gojo took her side and glared at the guy in front of her.
The Zenin guy regarded Gojo with an air of indifference, “She your girl?”
Utahime’s cheeks burned and she felt her heart leap.
Gojo flashed his eyes at him and clenched his jaw but did not answer.
Utahime felt her stomach drop. What did she expect, though? They were not even that close anymore. Besides, he already had someone.
“I guess not,” Zenin smiled at her and immediately dropped. “You’re pale.” He turned to Gojo then to Nana then back at Utahime.
Gojo snapped his head towards Utahime and his eyes widened, he was about to reach for her when the guy spoke to him.
“Your girl already left. Shouldn’t you be running after her? Let me take care of this one.”
Gojo stood straight and stared him down with blazing blue eyes, “Fuck off, Naoya.”
Naoya didn’t seem intimidated by his height and met his eyes.
They glared at each other.
Utahime reached out and slightly pulled Gojo's shirt to get his attention, afraid that something would happen between the two of them.
He immediately glanced at her and his eyes softened.
“I’m sorry,” he said softly.
Utahime only shook her head.
Gojo then took her hand and dragged her away, but not without forcefully bumping Naoya's shoulder.
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“Where are you taking me?” Utahime said, trying to catch up with his long strides.
“Infirmary.”
Utahime tugged at his hand to slow him down.
He turned to her and noticed how she’s catching her breath, “I’m sorry.”
They walked slowly as they neared the clinic.
Gojo suddenly stopped and turned to her. “Utahime, were you listening?”
Utahime knew what he was talking about and looked to the ground.
“Let me explain--”
Utahime shook her head at him, “I know.”
Gojo looked hopeful.
Utahime just smiled sadly and said, “You don’t need to explain. After all, I’m just your friend’s cousin.”
They reached the infirmary and Gojo sat her in one of the beds. He then went to the nurse who was attending another student before coming back to her.
“Hey.”
Utahime raised her head.
“You’re not just Nanami’s cousin.”
Utahime was confused.
“You’re… you. You’re still the same Utahime Iori I’ve met when I was eight. The same kindness reflects in your eyes. It’s tantalizing, like it's gonna swallow me whole and I’m not gonna complain.”
Utahime did not speak because how can she do that when she couldn’t even breathe?
“Utahime, will you give me a chance?”
“For what?” Utahime whispered.
“To show ... To show how much I want you.”
Utahime forced the words out. “But your girlf--”
“She's not my girlfriend. ”
“... ”
“Please.”
Utahime looked straight in his eyes and saw mixed emotions: hope, trust, and something she couldn’t explain.
“How can I trust you?”
Gojo breathed deeply, like he was trying to do something for the first time, “Because the moment I saw you under that tree, I remembered the girl I fell in love with. The same girl I’m falling for again.”
Utahime’s cheeks flushed deep scarlet, and her heart was beating like she had been running for a thousand miles.
“Please.” The look in his eyes confirmed everything he said.
Utahime surrendered. “... Okay.”
Gojo smiled widely as the nurse shooed him out of the room.
Utahime could not understand what had happened. But she was sure of what she’d said. That she would give him a chance. After all, she was irrevocably and unconditionally in love with him again too.
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