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Tucked in a cosy flat located in the innermost circles of the city, stands Teh, picking at himself in the mirror. The sweltering heat of the city makes it impossible for him to be satisfied with any part of his clothing; his shirt sticks to him uncomfortably, a bead of sweat already running against the back of his neck. All he truly wants to do is lie down on the mattress under the fan to counter the way the heat seems to drown them all until it cools him down, Oh-Aew keeping him company in the comforting silence they often find themselves in.
Teh can't though — he won't — not when this might be his one and only chance at creating a good impression in front of Oh-Aew's friends. His friends. The first set of friends that they don't share. Oh-Aew's friends who know about them being… together. His friends know that they're partners (!) that live together (!!), and that they love each other (!!!) very much.
Despite Oh-Aew's friends being queer — as he had repeatedly assured whenever Teh had so much as felt the prickling, conditioned anxiety in his stomach over it — it still feels weird. Someone knowing something so personal about you despite never having met you. (Someone accepting you, as you are, only through a reflection in someone's words, never having met you, simply because you are just like them.)
Teh takes a shuddering breath, fixes his collar and is about to reach over to fix the mess of hair when the arms of a person he calls home wraps around his waist from behind him.
Oh-Aew hooks his head on Teh's shoulder, his lips protruding, as he looks at Teh in their mirror.
"Hi," he says, burrowing his head in the crook of Teh's neck.
Teh tightens his hold on Oh-Aew's arms, inclining his head so he can plant a kiss on his forehead.
"You smell really good," Oh-Aew mumbles.
"You only ever say that when I use your body wash," Teh replies, turning sideways.
Oh-Aew looks at him with a teasing grin, curling his hands around the back of Oh-Aew's neck. "Well, do you not want me to say that? I can definitely take my statement back. Ai Teh, get away from me, you smell—"
Teh pushes their foreheads together to silence him, effectively.
Oh-Aew's grin only widens. He leans forward to kiss his nose. "I only ever say that when I use your body wash because I love when you smell like me."
"I only ever use your body wash because it feels like you're with me," Teh admits. It feels comforting, having a piece of Oh-Aew with him whenever he's not around. It feels like home.
Oh-Aew's gaze turns a little serious, despite his grin remaining the same. He lets out a small sigh, his fingers straightening out Teh's collar before they reach his buttons.
"You know that it's okay if you don't want to meet them, right?" Oh-Aew asks, pressing the flat of his fingertips on his shirt, drawing patterns. "I wouldn't mind. They wouldn't as well. I understand how hard it is," he says in a gentle tone. "It's so hot today anyway. We can just stay at home, lie down under the fan."
Teh catches Oh-Aew's hand, pressing tiny kisses on each of his fingertips. "I want to meet them," Teh says. It was his decision to let Oh-Aew's friends know, anyway. He wanted to be open about it here; these nerves are irrelevant.
Oh-Aew looks at him for a minute too long, a searching, kind look in his eyes, before he slowly nods. "We'll leave in a while then?"
Teh nods. "Go get dressed."
Oh-Aew gapes at him, mock offended. "Are you saying that I don't look good enough to go outside, Teh?"
Oh-Aew's vest currently has three visible holes — not fashionably put there, no matter how much Oh-Aew claims — and his shorts have been faded for as long as Teh remembers, but he grins anyway, pushing aside Oh-Aew's hair from his forehead and leaning forward to press a kiss. "You always look good enough to go outside."
Oh-Aew's mock pout turns into a teasing smile. "Ewww. Someone might think that you have a crush on me."
"That someone is right," Teh sincerely says, leaning closer.
"Oh? Is that so?"
Teh nods in earnest fervour. "It is so," he says, his voice dropping down. "And, that someone better know just how much I love you."
Some days, the love that Teh has for love feels all-encompassing, mollified, embedded deep within him for so long that it is a part of him, that he doesn't know how to exist without. Other days like these, he feels the love for Oh-Aew threatening to flicker and burst out from within, until it messily combusts everywhere painting their whole world pink.
"Well," Oh-Aew mutters, snaking his hands behind Teh's neck, "lucky for you, I love you too."
***
Oh-Aew's friends are… not how Teh expected.
Not that he could ever say, for sure, what he expected really, but he thought that there would be more of this air of weirdness that would cling to his skin until he can rush home and scrub it off with Oh-Aew's body wash. But it isn't weird at all. They look at him, eyes crinkling and warm smiles, say, "So you are the boyfriend," and suddenly, Teh feels as though he has known them forever.
They sit and they talk like old friends reconnecting again until it's hours past the sunset, making plans of meeting again when their schedules line up.
It's a cooler evening, the sky devoid of any clouds for once, and Teh at that moment decides that he wants to walk home with Oh-Aew, despite their home being thirty minutes away.
Oh-Aew only grins and follows. They hold hands, no longer shying from the big eyes of the city — they had realised within a month of living here that no-one cares enough to look at two people holding hands on the sidewalk — and make their way back home, chattering about anything that remains to be spoken.
Oh-Aew's hold suddenly tightens, pulling them to a stop under a dim-lit street light. There are relatively few people around, the shops around them all closed and packed, and rarely does the street reflects the headlights that come along the way.
Teh looks quizzically at Oh-Aew who only smiles at him, comfortingly. "You really didn't mind being with them today?"
Teh pries their fingers apart, tugging Oh-Aew closer. "No," he answers honestly. "It was nice." Nice being perceived and known; your identity being accepted as default, without going through the tedious process of coming out over and over again.
"And you're alright?" Oh-Aew asks, the same concerned, searching look in his eyes making a reappearance.
Teh squeezes Oh-Aew's fingers reassuringly. "I am more than alright," he says. "Your friends are really good. Ray especially."
Oh-Aew grins at Teh then, tugging him closer. "I knew you'd get along well with her!" he exclaims. "You're both so alike that getting along was the only option, Teh!"
Oh-Aew does not let him reply, his expression turning concerned again. "How are you feeling though?"
"Good," Teh answers, his heart warming over just how concerned Oh-Aew is, just how much he cares. "It feels like this stone is lifted off of my chest, you know? I can breathe easy."
There's always a fear, Teh realises, not being enough for his straight friends, and his sexuality not being enough for the queer friends that he might make. No part of his sexuality felt enough before — except today, it feels reaffirming, liberating, like he can breathe better around it.
In a moment of unabashed bravery, Teh looks around the almost destitute street and leans in closer. Oh-Aew's eyes widen slightly, looking around the streets on instinct, before his concerns melt away into a puddle, only leaving behind his fond smile. "What?" Oh-Aew whispers.
Under the glow of the streetlight above them, Oh-Aew looks beautiful.
"Can I kiss you?" Teh whispers back.
Under the golden light, their lips meet. A universe comes alive at that moment.
They pull away from each other within seconds, twine their fingers together with a small smile on their lips, as they hurriedly make their way back home.
"Dumbass," says Oh-Aew, after making the sharp left that leads them to their home.
Teh holds Oh-Aew's knuckles to his hand and says, "What can I say? You make me brave."