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Jiwoo arrived and walked into her silent apartment calmly. Another day had gone by, and she was tired as usual. She wished she could be as young as before. She used to have no problem finishing schedule at 2-3AM. But now even though it was only 9PM, she already yawned. Time passed by so fast, and it’s been 8 years since LOONA’s debut.
She settled down by putting her stuffs aside and went directly to clean herself up. Spending time in shower was the best therapy to end the day. For some reasons, she can’t really sleep yet so she chose to go her ‘special room’ where she kept her favorite drinks and had a view of beautiful Seoul. It’s her favorite space in the apartment.
She poured the rose wine, took the glass with her and went to rest at the armchair – getting lost in the view. She silent appreciated herself for working hard before, so that she could enjoy the fancy life now. Her apartment is moderately spacious that can even host a home party for 40+ people – except she didn’t do that. Tonight was especially silent.
Suddenly, Jiwoo missed the feeling of coming back home to 11 loud and energetic girls. It was nostalgic. The moment she opened the door, she knew that there’s a group of people waiting to cheer her up whether in both good or bad time. Living in the dorm with the whole team was not at the most convenient, yet there’s good times to look back too. But if Jiwoo had to pick, she would choose to live alone. She needed her own space after all. She missed Haseul’s warm words, Heejin’s affection, Hyunjin’s weirdness, Yeojin’s cuteness that can’t be matched with her back then, Vivi’s silent love, Yerims positivity, Jungeun’s nag, Jinsoul & Chaewon’s midnight talks on the sofa and Hyejoo’s tsundere.
LOONA was successful till their disbandment after 7 years. They won various grand awards with their hit songs after getting recognition for their talents. They were invincible. However after 7 years during contract negotiation, it was inevitable that some of the members wanted different paths – they knew that LOONA can’t be the same without 12 members. Haseul, Jungeun, Heejin, Hyejoo, and Jiwoo still chose to do music by being a solo artist. Sooyoung, Yerim, and Yeojin chose to focus on MC-ing, and TV program. Hyunjin, Jinsol and Chaewon chose to be actress as they found their passion in that instead. Vivi went back to Hong Kong, and started her own fashion brand. They still hang out from time to time; Jiwoo didn’t join sometimes and excuse herself with her busy schedule.
Just as she was thinking about them, her phone’s notification lit up. It was Jungeun.
Jungie: Kim Jiwoo! Look at this video of yourself! you look high, why were you so happy? XD
Jiwoo: Because I aged...why are you bringing up the past? It’s so embarrassing sometimes!
Jungie: I miss our good time from before, and our team T-T so I checked them out. Hey it’s Sooyoung’s birthday tomorrow! Want to throw her a surprise?
Jiwoo: Sorry, Jungie. I am packed tomorrow. Will make up to you guys later.
Jungie: You are always busy :(
Jiwoo: Don’t be sulky! I will be there on your birthday! :D
Jiwoo wondered why Jungeun said she looked the happiest, and decided to check the video. Only 2 seconds into the video, she understood why perfectly. It was from their 2nd year during hiatus time. Was she ready for this? She was never ready to look into this, but tonight with the wine digested in her system, she chose to open the wound and dig deeper.
She knew exactly who and why made her that happy. Heck, she can’t even be as happy as that time now. She can’t even function in relationship anymore. She even thought she was never capable to love. Of course, she had been dating here and there carefully, yet it always ended quickly. She can’t stand them. In vice versa, they would complain the same thing that Jiwoo never put her feeling in. She admitted that.
If Jiwoo decided to hurt herself tonight, she went all the way. She opened Kakaochat, and reread the old message. She realized that she was once be able to madly fell in love – which was something she can’t function these days, or past few years.
As she spent hours reading them, her memories played like a scene back too.
One thing for sure, she knew she’s going to miss Sooyoung so bad.
It started like this . . .
---
Jiwoo didn’t know if she felt that since the first time they met and Sooyoung asked for her number in the elevator at the dance academy. It was as if the universe had a plan for them because in the next few months, they were set to debut in the same girlgroup. It felt as if they were soulmates, always understand each other in one glance. Jiwoo actually passed the audition after Sooyoung’s debut as 9th girl of LOONA, with her enthusiasm and bright personality, she got along so well with other girls since day one and Sooyoung somehow found comfort in that too. Sooyoung was stressed out at first to suddenly debut and lived with other 8 girls, but when Jiwoo came in, everything was better.
Sooyoung would find Jiwoo to cry to during bad time, and to celebrate with during great time. Jiwoo was indeed glad that she got the trust from the latter too. It was easy to talk with Sooyoung. Jiwoo can’t pinpoint exactly how the butterfly started in the stomach with Sooyoung’s presence. Perhaps, it was from those periods where Sooyoung hugged her, and kept admiring her. Her ‘Heart Attack’ MV wasn’t helping the situation either. Surely Jiwoo had always admired girls but Sooyoung was another level. Everything was too platonic.
In the dorm, YYXY shared the room together. Even if everyone had their space (yeah it was bunk bed), Sooyoung would come to Jiwoo’s space and laid next to her. Jiwoo swore everytime she did that, Jiwoo almost ran into heart attack. Did Sooyoung even know Jiwoo could fall for girl? That was too risky for her heart, seriously. Well she already did.
Her smile got widen everytime Sooyoung admired her. Her crush for Sooyoung was so obvious that even Yeojin noticed. It was getting big like the green apple in her MV. Hyejoo teased several times too but it seemed Sooyoung was oblivious. She honestly thought that Jiwoo was affectionate like this to other too. It wasn’t exclusive.
Thing got worse because one night, Sooyoung even came to sleep with her - saying she had a nightmare. Jiwoo can’t even find a good excuse to say no. Jiwoo had no problem handling herself if Sooyoung did physical contact with her for few minutes or hours…but whole night?
Sooyoung walked over to Jiwoo’s space in middle of the night.
“Jiwoo. Can I sleep next to you?”
“W-what happened?”
“I had a nightmare . . . I can’t sleep.”
“Oh. Okay.”
Jiwoo was glad that light was dark because she was blushing so hard at that moment. Sooyoung then laid her body next to Jiwoo, and cuddled Jiwoo the whole night.
Jiwoo looked like shit the next day, she barely got any sleep. Of course, she can’t let Sooyoung know that, otherwise, she would blame herself for the younger one’s lack of sleep. Luckily, the next day was just practicing . . . she swore she can’t function. Plus with Sooyoung’s remark the moment she woke up didn’t help either. “I had a great sleep last night, thanks Jiwooming!” and Sooyoung kissed her cheek out of appreciation
The following night was torturing Jiwoo because the girl asked for the same request. It wasn’t a request, but Sooyoung basically just laid down and sneaked her arms to cuddle Jiwoo. Jiwoo could go crazy at this rate. She can’t keep this going on, so she decided to speak it out. Thank god that the other 2 were sleeping like there’s no tomorrow.
“Sooyoung. This is not fair. If you keep doing this, I might . . . lose it.”
“What do you mean?”
“Are you serious?” Jiwoo was frustrated at this point, “Even Yeojin knows, and you don’t?”
“I don’t catch up. What’s it?”
Jiwoo was silent for a moment, and decided to just say it all out. The frustration was killing her.
“I have a crush on you, Sooyoung. If you keep doing this, I might fall even harder.”
Sooyoung didn’t say anything at first, and it was a very uncomfortable silence. Jiwoo was panic that she started crying silently. Sooyoung could hear it all.
“J-Jiwoo, I am sorry. I didn’t know you feel this.” Sooyoung tried to calm Jiwoo down by hugging her even closely.
“A-are you going to hate me for this? Aren’t you disgusted?”
“What? No!” Sooyoung continued, “It’s just that . . . I’ve never been with girls before . . . and I don’t mind this.”
Much to Jiwoo’s confusion, Sooyoung’s lips were on hers before she could even register what was happening. It was surprising but pleasant. With all emotions on the surface, Sooyoung realized why she felt nervous yet comfortable around Jiwoo. She poured it all into the kisses. Everything just felt so right. Sooyoung also realized that she was whipped. Both were whipped, actually. At that moment, they didn’t care about what happen tomorrow or future yet. Those could wait after the kiss.
Everything went from 0 to 100 real quick. Since things were so platonic between them, from the outlook it wasn’t new to the whole group. They didn’t talk about what they were in the first place, so there wasn’t anything needed to confess to the team. It was just basic Chuu and Yves showering each other with love – except they secretly kissed.
Hyejoo had made a comment that they only needed 3 beds in their room because now Sooyoung only slept with Jiwoo, and the others agreed too. Again, it was just basic Chuu and Yves. Only if they knew that things got real.
“I love you, Kim Jiwoo.” Sooyoung whispered to her after settling down on the girl’s space.
“I love you too, Ha Sooyoung” Jiwoo gave a small kiss on her lips.
“I love you so much that you probably have no idea”
“I love you more.”
“I love you more.”
“I love you more.”
“Are we having a contest on who love each other more again?” They both chuckled, and cuddled each other the whole night. “Promise me that we’ll always be like this.”
“Yes promise.”
It was easy for them to say “I love you” and “I miss you” to each other because they were that affectionate.
“I miss you!” Jiwoo barged into the room (of course only Sooyoung was in the room at the time) after arriving from 5-day-4-night shooting in some forest. Jiwoo didn’t let the latter say anything as she just kept on kissing the girl.
“You say that to everyone, you know.” Sooyoung brought this up bitterly as it’s true…Jiwoo was affectionate to other members too, but it’s not comparable with her. It was her jealousy speaking, and she was well-aware about that.
“No not true!” Jiwoo pouted cutely and suddenly smirked, “baby, I don’t do this to them.”
She started kissing Sooyoung again, with more eagerness. Gosh, she missed the girl so much. Sooyoung was beyond taken back, but glad with the love she was receiving (after no Jiwoo for 5 days). The kiss eventually turned into a make out . . . only to be stopped by hearing some knocks on the door. They get used to it. The tension was real.
Things weren’t always well. From Butterfly till their # period, they became so busy. With their concept change and active schedule, it was almost impossible to get a decent sleep on daily basis. Their quality time was also reduced, especially after Sooyoung became the MC for FactinStar. She got more job which Jiwoo should be happy for, but that would also mean even lesser time together.
With such withdrawal, Jiwoo got insecure. Again, she should be glad that Sooyoung was getting the recognition she deserves with more fan, and more love calls – she got jealous too. Instead of lashing out, Jiwoo was the type that keep it all inside. She kept in all until . . .
“Baby, I am home!” Sooyoung announced happily walking into their room, and hugged Jiwoo from behind who was sitting on the desk, focusing on her computer.
“Sooyoung. There’s bunch of letters for you here.” Jiwoo handed them to her coldly. Yes it was love letters from her admirers.
“Baby, a-are you feeling ok? You don’t seem well.” Sooyoung finally noticed the coldness in her lover’s eyes. Jealously must have got the best of her.
“I am fine.”
“No you are not. Tell me what happen.” Sooyoung rotated her chair, and kneeled infront of Jiwoo. From her red eyes, Jiwoo had been crying.
“I- I need some time alone, Sooyoung.”
Her sentences broke Sooyoung’s heart but she can’t risk to disagree. She just stood up silently, and decided to leave the room respectfully. Sooyoung had whole night to think what went wrong. It was the first night that they sleep on separate bed.
Jiwoo had thoughts that . . . she didn’t deserve Sooyoung at all. Sooyoung was indeed another level. She could never bring happiness to her in the future. She could never be a man for her. She can’t force Sooyoung to turn down those people just for her – and Jiwoo can’t even guarantee a future with Sooyoung. Jiwoo was afraid of losing her, but it’s less than afraid of ruining her. She felt wrong.
That night, Jiwoo can’t even sleep with messy thoughts. That also happened on the girl from other bed too.
The next few days went by them not speaking to each other. Sooyoung respected and wanted to leave Jiwoo’s space to think. Sooyoung though really missed the girl, wanted to embrace her, and fixed what went wrong. Her heart almost stopped working when she received message from Jiwoo during her show filming.
Jiwoo: What if I can’t keep my promise?
Sooyoung went home straight that day, and met Jiwoo. Jiwoo signaled to talk at the rooftop to avoid unnecessary attention from the other girls. In Sooyoung’s eyes, Jiwoo was unapproachable. Her heart screamed to hug her, but she can’t. Not like this.
The situation didn’t seem good. Jiwoo chose not to look at her. Sooyoung can only see her back, and she felt that they were so far away from one another. She didn’t like this.
“Let’s do this now” Jiwoo added, “to hurt less”
“W-what are you talking about, Jiwoo?” Sooyoung wanted to be clear.
“Let’s stop doing this.”
“Stop doing what exactly?”
“Our relationship.” Sooyoung already knew the answer, but the answer was still painful when heard directly from the love of her life.
“Sooyoung. I don’t deserve you. Let’s stop this, so you can save yourself from the pain later.”
“It is already painful, Jiwoo.” Sooyoung clenched her heart, “I know I deserve a better Jiwoo but I love you goddammit!”
“You can date a better person. Don’t let a coward like me to ruin you.”
“Just you, Jiwoo. Just you. Please, don’t do this.” Sooyoung can’t control her tear anymore, “Do you love me?”
“I do.” Jiwoo replied immediately, “and that’s why I am doing this.”
Jiwoo turned her back, and stood infront of Sooyoung. She kissed her tears, and whispered.
“Sooyoung . . . it’s for the best.”
As if BBC knew, they moved the girls to another dorm with bigger space (because they deserved it) and they re-arranged the roommates again. It was easier to heal now that Jiwoo and Sooyoung were arranged to different rooms. It had been 5 months since their call-off. It didn’t go unnoticed by other girls. They could never look into each other eyes. The conversation they shared were as mild as about food to order, chore to do and practice routines.
The show must go on. Feeling must be suppressed.
In between, Jiwoo tried dating other people too. She ended up getting turn off, and decided to just play around. Jiwoo got some admirers herself, mostly girls, who found her cute and all that. Jiwoo just didn’t feel right.
After wrapping up successful promotion of 12:00, the girls were given a week off. They deserved to rest, so BBC arranged a team building & relaxing 3-day-2-night trip in Jeju islands for them. The girls were beyond hype for that.
During the trip itself, Jiwoo was relieved that they had time to enjoy the beach & eat delicious things together. It’s been a while to have trip altogether after all. Of course, on the surface, everything had to be fine.
The girls were separated into 4 rooms, meaning 3 would share a room. Jiwoo was thankful that she was arranged to sleep with Jungeun & Jinsoul. Actually, she wasn’t so thankful because after all, it’s like she was third-wheeling them. Sometimes she thought . . . why couldn’t things were as simple as theirs?
On the first night, Jiwoo had to use her earphones to sleep. They weren’t trying to be wholesome after Jiwoo assured that she would pretend not to hear. They were like two teenagers with hormone rage. She reminded herself to get drunk the next night, so that it’s less bothersome.
On the second night, Jiwoo left the room because she really wanted to leave them alone.
“So, what time shall I come back, Jungie?” Jiwoo was almost annoyed as they didn’t seem to acknowledge her presence.
“Any time, actually! I am thankful for this, Jiwooming” Jungeun replied shyly.
“No. I don’t want to see you guys over each other…so let me be clear. I will be back around 12AM…so make sure to stay wholesome that time.”
Jiwoo went to the rooftop of the hotel, and ordered some drinks there. It was more peaceful. She started drinking near the pool while laying on lounger, and enjoy what Jeju had to offer with soft jazz music playing. Honestly, the drink was quite strong to the point where Jiwoo thought she might need to take a nap there & then. As her eyes got softer, she suddenly was shaked by somebody.
Jiwoo froze for a while. It was Sooyoung.
“Hey, are you okay?” Sooyoung sat down on the lounger next to her, seemingly uncomfortable.
“Think I am tipsy.”
“You are here alone?”
“Yes. Remember I share room with Jungie & Jinsoul?”
“Oh. Well same here. I share room with Haseul & Vivi. They can’t keep their hands off each other.”
“Guess we are here for the same reason.”
Both chuckled as things got light. Being tipsy was understatement. Alcohol never lied, and for Jiwoo, it only amplified what was on her mind.
“So how are you, Sooyoung?”
“Good I guess” Sooyoung thought for a while, “How about you?”
“I probably regret saying this” she added, “honestly…I am coping up.”
That sentence got Sooyoung to stare at Jiwoo for a while, and it almost looked like the answer pissed her off.
“Why are you staring at me?” The stare wasn’t missed by Jiwoo of course.
“For what?”
“Jiwoo. You are the one who called it off. Out of us, you are the one who should be happy.”
“Yes I should be . . . but I am not.”
“What do you want, Jiwoo?”
“I don’t know, Soo. I am . . . lost.” Jiwoo’s tear started falling slowly. She felt venerable.
“You know . . . I tried dating other, but it’s not working.”
“Same for me.” Jiwoo questioned out of curiosity, “Who was it?”
“It was Hyunjae.” Sooyoung admitted, “He was too nice and perfect. I just can’t reciprocate back. I just ignored him after few dates.”
“Oh. It was a boy.” Jiwoo couldn’t hide her surprise, “well, I dated girls. Heck, I can’t even say ILY word to them.”
“Why?”
“It just doesn’t feel right.” Jiwoo sighed.
“So how did it end?”
“Not well. I end up ghosting them . . . after one night s-”
“Are you crazy?” Sooyoung lashed out.
“Hey, say the same to you too. You ghosted your date too!” Jiwoo defended, and Sooyoung can’t deny the truth.
“and what the hell, Jiwoo! I thought you were nice & innocent.”
“I was, Soo.” Jiwoo spoke softly, and Sooyoung can’t almost hear, “I had to release all that from controlling my hormone around you.” Sooyoung blushed after hearing that.
“I guess people rant at their ex when their relationship didn’t work out.”
Jiwoo took another shot, and continued the conversation. Things felt lighter when alcohol involved.
“Only if you could be heartless to me”
“You know I can’t, Jiwoo.” Sooyoung added, “You already know I’ll agree to everything you say in a heartbeat. I spoiled you too much.”
“I can’t lose you, Soo. I can’t.”
“You will never lose me, Jiwoo.” Sooyoung took the shot to overcome her hesitation, “I only want you, Jiwoo.”
“Are you sure you want this?” Jiwoo looked at Sooyoung in disbelief. She’s happy to hear that, but she still couldn’t believe that Sooyoung would still come to her after the damage she did.
“I like it when you say you can’t lose me. No one can make me feel this way, Jiwoo. No one.”
“Soo, I don’t want you to compromise yourself just to be with me. You have many opportunities, and love that you deserve.”
“To hell with heart break . . . I’d rather break it and love you with all the pieces.”
This time they looked into each other eyes, and it felt like the first time in a very long while. Jiwoo cursed at herself for feeling so right with Sooyoung. She knew she was about to commit another crime.
“Soo. You can choose to date other, and I will try to be supportive. I can’t own you, and it’s unfair to tie you up with me.” Jiwoo said that, but her eyes seem to say otherwise. It was painful to say.
“I don’t do sharing, Jiwoo. And no because I can’t be supportive of you dating other girls than me.” Jiwoo’s heart was swollen hearing such confession from the girl.
Jiwoo couldn’t wait anymore, and she moved herself next to Sooyoung crashing their lips together. It was slow at first, but their yearning for each other was more than that, eventually it got eager to it. Everything felt right all over again. How could Sooyoung say all the right things.
“Can I say I love you to you?” Jiwoo asked between their breaths.
“What do you think, baby?” Sooyoung smiled genuinely for the first time in these 5 months.
That night, they still lingered around each other until decide to finally go to their own room. Both were on cloud nine, and had a peaceful sleep ever.
“Did you make up?” the question got Jiwoo choked when Jungeun asked out of blue. It was during their breakfast on the last day, and Sooyoung sat right next to her – ready to feed & shower her with love.
Everything about them were so obvious that when they fought, the rest would know. Now they were back to being Chuu & Yves that were whipped for each other again…platonically.
The team trip was over, but Jiwoo & Sooyoung decided to stay longer on the islands. They were never on trip just two of them together, so this was such a great chance. They still had 4 more days off.
Their whole day consisted of them touring around the island like locals, did scuba diving and water activities. Sooyoung was great at it, and Jiwoo was just like a baby depending on her.
They went back to have dinner at their hotel resort, and the night almost ended nicely, except Sooyoung was being mischievous.
She had to interrogate.
“I still can’t believe you hooked up with other girls during our break.” Sooyoung nagged while Jiwoo on the bed about to fall asleep. Those water activities were indeed too exhausting for a non-sporty person like her.
“As if you didn’t do it.”
“No, I did not.” Sooyoung defended herself.
“Oh. it was just a phase, soo!”
“Who was it or they?”
“Sunmi…Chungha…and…”
“Wait…Seriously? Kim Jiwoo…my idols?!”
“I had to imagine it was you though.” Jiwoo mentioned quietly.
“Why didn’t you do it with me though?” Sooyoung asked naively.
Jiwoo choked, “Sooyoung…Chaewon and Hyejoo were with us for crying out loud.”
“Then what about now?” Jiwoo could see the smirk from Sooyoung.
“Don’t start what you can’t stop, Soo.”
“Then don’t stop.” They looked into each other eyes, and were ready for the night that their loves would be poured all in - the tension was long overdue.
In fact, they were long to be together, and they just couldn’t stop making love to each other that night. The way Sooyoung called out Jiwoo name, and vice versa. It was too perfect. They continued to do it again and again till their exhaustion called it quit. They ended well with a warm embrace – the one that afraid of losing each other, again. Jiwoo loved Sooyoung so much that it’s hurt, and so did Sooyoung. The night ended well.
The next morning was the best part because they didn’t have to put alarm. They slept it until almost noon time, and still embracing each other.
Jiwoo woke up first, and she went to lower the A/C temperature. It was getting cold. She later smiled at herself after realizing that it wasn’t the A/C but it was because of the situation she was in. At this rate, both of them could probably get cold.
Jiwoo walked pass the mirror, and she stared at herself in disbelief. It was a wild night based on the result on her skin. She could agree that both of them were equally possessive.
On the way back on the bed, she put duvet on Sooyoung & herself. Sooyoung shuffled abit, and woke up too. Jiwoo hugged her tightly on the bed.
“Morning, beautiful.”
“Hi, babyyy” Sooyoung replied sheepishly, “I wish I could wake up to this every morning.”
“No alarm, and no breakfast part?” Jiwoo teased her
“Nope. You and this.” Sooyoung was too blunt, and Jiwoo can’t even reply back.
“I know it’s too much to ask. I want the rest of my life with you.” Sooyoung confessed.
“One day, you might be married to someone else.”
“Maybe I will. Maybe I won’t. but you, I see you spending your life with someone else too.”
“Even If I find someone like that, I still don’t want to lose you. I know I am selfish.”
“I like that you are selfish about me.” Sooyoung put her lips on Jiwoo’s, and they went on like rhythm flow.
They rest abit until Sooyoung started again with her dreamy eyes.
“In my mind, we can settle in a new place with unknown people, and start fresh. You can raise a puppy…although I am allergic, I don’t mind.” Sooyoung caressed Jiwoo’s hand affectionately, “maybe even adopting kids isn’t that bad.”
“Soo…”
“You make being in love easy, Jiwoo”
“I am afraid after this…after this holiday’s ove-”
“Jiwoo…I am afraid too, but let’s enjoy with what we have now. Only you can make me this happy.”
Jiwoo was too content, and she sealed their lips together. Sooyoung was right, they can worry about this tomorrow.
“Make love to me, baby.” and Jiwoo agreed obediently, and they went on and on.
It was as if they knew it would be their first, and last time together.
---
After the holidays, things were back to where they were. The difference was that they both were aware of each other’s feelings. No title, no label. Jiwoo still held on to her belief that Yves or Sooyoung coud shine even more, and nothing could get in that way. Jiwoo’s insecurity grew every day. She can’t snatch everything away from Sooyoung. She deserved better. Sooyoung knew what was coming for them.
Jiwoo had to be heartless because she disliked them stuck in the loophole. With enough saving after around a year, Jiwoo moved out. In fact, all the LOONA members were already strong at the point, so they moved out to have their own apartment. Jiwoo distanced herself from Sooyoung, and as time passed by, it was already normal. It wasn’t easy, but she had to be.
Eventually, Jiwoo learned that Sooyoung was seeing somebody. She had no position to say anything. It was her call, and there’s no label. Just friends with feelings on each other. Just soulmates. This was her consequence. She had it coming. She was happy for Sooyoung though. At least, one of them should be happier.
---
Back to Present
Jiwoo seriously drank too much wine that it hurt her head. She contemplated many times because of today. She got herself ready, and dropped by a bakery.
She specifically ordered a box of macaroons, and yes, she decided to drop this off at Sooyoung’s apartment. It’s the least thing she could do for her on her birthday.
She stood nervously infront of the apartment door, and rang it twice. Perhaps could she be ready for what’s coming?
“Oh Hi, Hyunjae!” Jiwoo smiled (although it didn’t reach her eyes)
“Hi Jiwoo! Umm Sooyoung’s getting ready. Are you looking for her?”
“No it’s okay. I just come by to give this. It’s her birthday.” Jiwoo handed him the paperbag
“Ohh! Her favorite macaroons!” Hyunjae accepted the gift gleefully.
“Yep, please say happy birthday to her for me!” Jiwoo was about to bid him goodbye.
“You’re not coming to the party this evening?”
“No, sorry. I have schedule to attend to.”
They bid each other goodbye. Jiwoo walked out, and she can’t even cry. She’s too numb for everything. She headed back to her safe place. Of course, she lied. She didn’t have any schedule.
Arriving at her own apartment back, she laid on her sofa. She opened her phone, and went to Kakaotalk. It’s time. She swiped “delete” on conversation with Sooyoung.
At the back of her mind, she knew that there’s no one else she could be madly in love with. One of them was happier, and that’s enough for her.
Jiwoo took a nap, too tired emotionally. It wasn’t fun to travel back the memory lane. Later, she had to scold Jungeun about this. While she was sleeping, her phone notification lit up.
LOONA GROUPCHAT
Jinsol: Kim Jiwoo ditched us once again -.-
Jungeun: Her schedule is packed, honey
Hyejoo: Again this year . . .
Yeojin: Tsk Tsk!
Heejin: Guys . . . omg! Did he just kneel infront of her?!