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“Sister. She is your mirror, shining back at you with a world of possibilities. She is your witness, who sees you at your worst and best, and loves you anyway.”
–Barbara Alpert
Ryuji waited three blocks away from Kawagita High School, leaning against his motorcycle and watching small groups of teenagers walk by, sneaking glances at him on their way by. Classes usually got out a lot earlier, but the exemplary students stayed behind to tutor and participate in other academic activities; apparently even those students weren’t above whispering about the scary older boy with a scar on his lip, bright blonde hair and a menacing face. Ryuji ignored them easily, not recognizing the person he was waiting for amongst their clan.
Spring was warm enough now that the girls could wear their dark blue skirts without leggings, and the boys could leave their school jackets at home. Everyone seemed cheerful and heavily anticipating the weekend, forgetting all about the scary guy hanging-out near their school when the prospect of going out for karaoke came up. Ryuji waited, tapping his boot against the ground impatiently, looking sharply at each student who walked by in hopes it would be who he was waiting for. Finally, he saw the faint image of a familiar girl heading down the sidewalk, backpack on, head up and daydreaming in the white clouds.
Ryuji pushed himself off his bike to stand a little straighter, staying quiet until the student noticed him, stopping in her tracks to stare at him.
“Onii-san?” Kaoru said in surprise.
“Bout’ time, little sis,” Ryuji huffed, though there was a softness in his expression that only came out around her. “Been waiting here forever.”
Technically, Kaoru was his half-sister, but Ryuji couldn’t go around calling her that. It wasn’t cool. Hell, he didn’t even know he had any siblings until a year ago, when Ryuji recognized her soft features in a local newspaper and Jin Goda was forced to cough-up the sob story. Knowing there was a young girl who no longer had a mother or father to take care of her was enough to draw comparable sympathy from her older brother, who, despite his own rough background and reputation, carved out enough time from his schedule to check in on her every once in a while. It was the least a big brother could do.
Kaoru Sayama was an honors student at Kawagita, freshly turned fourteen, top of her class, well-liked for her fierce but gentle personality; she shared just enough traits with Ryuji and looked so much like their shared mother it didn’t take much for him to believe they were related. Even now, looking at her dark doe eyes, high posture, athletic legs and soft round cheeks, Ryuji could see the similarities. It always made him lose words for a moment, lips closed tightly as Kaoru got over her surprise at his sudden appearance.
“What are you doing here?” She asked curiously, eyeing the black bike behind him. “Is that yours?”
“Sure is. Ya ready?”
“For what?”
“Figured I’d take ya out fer some takoyaki,” Ryuji shrugged, trying to play-off his sweetness towards her. “We can…shoot the breeze, chat. Sound good?”
Kaoru stepped closer, warm breeze fluttering her uniform, short locks of black hair and reminding Ryuji of his mother. It used to cause him a lot of pain, back when they first had these little meetings in the beginning of their relationship, but that pain was more manageable, now; maybe ‘cause she’s so unlike mom, Ryuji thought, offering a white helmet he bought specifically for his sister. Wonder where she gets that fighting spirit from…
“Okay,” Kaoru nodded with a small smile. “I am pretty hungry.”
She allowed Ryuji to gently slide the helmet on over her head and clip the strap, watching the larger boy throw his leg over the motorcycle and motion for her to hop on behind him. If Tamiyo saw her now, she would be having a fit—but Kaoru hadn’t told the woman raising her that she knew about Ryuji, that they were developing a relationship through phone calls and occasional meetings like this. Maybe Kaoru just wanted to keep their newfound bond safe from outsiders. Maybe she was being selfish, but all teens had some form of selfishness, right?
“Hold on tight, kiddo,” Ryuji warned, revving the engine up and shooting his sister a Cheshire grin. “We’re going fer a wild ride.”
“Don’t go too fast, okay?” Kaoru said anxiously, tightening her grip on the older teen’s thick torso.
“Aw, don’t worry—I only do wheelies in front of the hostess clubs.”
The bike jolted forward, causing Kaoru to yelp, but her fear quickly turned to joy when their speed smoothed-out, motorcycle swerving through traffic with little effort. Ryuji was a better driver than his sister expected, ego fed by the way her light, delighted laughs echoed through the whistling air and into his ears. Ryuji Goda hadn’t exposed Kaoru to the many frightening aspects of his life, but he was secretly glad this tiny glimpse didn’t make her sprint in the other direction. This was the future Dragon of Kansai’s little sister they were talking about, after all.
They didn’t drive for long, Ryuji coming to a slow stop in front of a narrow building and parking beside a line of other scooters and motorcycles. Kaoru’s legs had stopped shaking by the time Ryuji helped her off, anxiety replaced by a surge of adrenaline she hadn’t experienced in a long time, if ever.
“That was so cool!” Kaoru cheered as Ryuji took her helmet off. “I think I wanna get one of these when I get my license!”
“As if,” The older boy scoffed. “I’ll only let ya ride with me.”
“You’ve gotten taller,” His sister pointed-out, eyeing her brother up and down. “Usually my head almost reaches your shoulder, but this time I couldn’t even lean far enough to peek above you.”
Kaoru got a good kick out of it whenever she could make Ryuji blush, which he did now, mumbling something under his breath.
“Come on, let’s go inside,” He said instead of replying. “I’m starvin’.”
Ryuji led her to a place called Tatsu’s, entering a crowded hallway where other hungry people were waiting for another restaurant to open. Kaoru tried to avoid bumping into anyone, but it was hard when she wasn’t tall enough to see who was in front of her—before this could become a serious problem, Kaoru suddenly found her hand being grabbed by a much larger one. When she glanced up, Ryuji was in front of her again, displeased scowl on his face as his tan, calloused hand held hers firmly.
“Stay close. These punks won’t move an inch fer a young lady when food’s involved.”
Kaoru nodded and allowed herself to be led, crowd moving immediately when the tall blonde came their way; he created a path for Kaoru to follow until they came to an open doorway, stepping inside and immediately relieved by the quiet atmosphere. There were several other customers eating in the small area, but they were all separated, talking in low voices and munching on their cooked meat. Kaoru never would have gone here alone, or even with some of her friends, but it seemed like a good place to go with her brother.
“I know it ain’t very flashy, but their takoyaki is the best in Kansai, I think,” Ryuji told her, motioning to a booth in the left corner. “Figured it’d be a quiet spot we could talk. I’ll go order our food.”
Kaoru went to their chosen booth, slid her backpack off and quietly waited for Ryuji to return; the lighting was dark, the decorations scarce, which made it even easier to notice someone as loud as Ryuji Goda. With his memorable face, frightening expressions, intimidating stature and slick leather jacket, he wasn’t the kind of person you could forget. I wonder what he was like as a child, Kaoru found herself wondering, watching the broad young man wander back to her. Probably a handful. I bet he was one of those hyper-energetic boys who always needed to have something to do, something to play with or watch.
We would have had fun together.
“Comfy?” Ryuji asked as he plopped down across from her.
“Mhm.”
“Good.”
The older boy shifted around, thick fingers fidgeting with whatever he could find, looking more like an awkward teen in this new intimate setting. Ryuji may have been older, rougher than his baby sister, but he was still just a kid at heart. He was only nineteen, Kaoru remembered, though he seemed a lot older because of the way he dressed, the crowd he ran with—and now he apparently owned a motorcycle. Nobody messed with Kaoru whenever she was with Ryuji. Not that anyone messed with her, anyway, but Ryuji still asked his concerned questions every time they talked.
“So…how’re things?” The blonde inquired. “Having trouble with anything? Things alright at home?”
“Things are fine.”
“School going okay?”
“School’s good,” Kaoru nodded. “I’m up for student of the month.”
“That so? Well, yer already doing better than me, then—couldn’t get me to study fer all the money in the world.”
Kaoru giggled at that, taking a sip of her water as Ryuji quietly observed her from across the table. He wasn’t very good at small talk—there wasn’t much time in his lifestyle to practice. There were other, much more dangerous and pressing matters at hand. Still, Ryuji tried his best to be a good conversationalist, even if his questions were more on the “over-protective brother” side of things. Someone had to watch out for Kaoru.
“What about yer friends?”
“My friends?”
“Yeah,” Ryuji nodded. “No girly drama to report on?”
“Well, actually…my friend Yuri is mad at me right now,” Kaoru admitted, not knowing if her older brother really wanted to know all about the inner-workings of fourteen-year-old girls.
“Eh? Why’s that?” His eyes narrowed slightly. He didn’t like fighting women (much less, teenage girls), but if that’s what it took to keep Kaoru happy…
“There’s this school dance coming-up, and the boy she wanted to go with asked someone else to go instead of her.”
“Let me guess—he asked you to go with him.”
Kaoru nodded, releasing a quiet sigh through her nose. Normally she was too busy to be sucked into school drama, but this incident with one of her girlfriends had been really stressing her out. Even if Ryuji didn’t want anymore details, Kaoru thought it would do her good to release some of the things that had been weighing on her.
“She’s been giving me the silent treatment this entire week, even though I told the boy no. I apologized a million times, but she’s still upset.”
“Huh.” Ryuji might have gotten in over his head with this topic—he didn’t have the slightest clue what to say in response to this issue. “Well, uh…I’m sure it’ll blow over after the dance. Ya going with someone else, then?”
That made Kaoru blush darkly for some reason, and she quickly turned the conversation around, asking about what Ryuji had been up to this spring. He had a few more interesting things to report, like a motorcycle race and helping one of his buddies out of some serious heat with the police; Kaoru liked hearing about the trouble he got into, even if she disapproved of it. He certainly shared interesting stories with her, usually ending them in some sort of lesson that would dissuade her from ever entering his type of lifestyle. Their conversations flowed more easily these days, and Kaoru found herself deep in a talk about the immaturity of teenagers when their food arrived.
“World’s finest takoyaki,” Ryuji said, licking his lips hungrily at the stack of steaming takoyaki between them. “Dig in, kid.”
Kaoru had eaten takoyaki before, but nothing as tasty as this—Ryuji thought he ate fast, being a young man and all, but the petite fourteen-year-old had already finished five sticks of octopus before he even reached for his third. There were ginger sauce stains all over her lips and even on her cheek, but Kaoru didn’t seem to care much, more relaxed than Ryuji had ever seen before. He was grinning proudly when Kaoru finally took a breather from eating, peeking over to see if her brother was enjoying the meal as much as her.
“What?” Kaoru murmured through her napkin.
“Nothin’,” Ryuji shrugged, gnawing a bite off his skewer. “Just didn’t know my little sis had such a big appetite. Must run in the family, haw?”
Kaoru smiled sweetly at that, pausing her meal to watch Ryuji devour his meat and bounce a few other topics around in her head.
“Do you ever miss her?” She asked suddenly.
“Eh?”
“Mom,” Kaoru clarified. “Do you ever miss her?”
The teen girl half-expected Ryuji to clam up or brush off the question all together, but instead she watched as a thoughtful gaze rushed over his expression; he seemed to be seriously considering her words, painful memories trying their best to injure him. Kaoru liked to think she thought about her mother more, but there wasn’t much for her to go on—Ryuji remembered her better, lived with her long enough to remember, to have solid memories of what her face looked like. It was probably an unpleasant topic, even if it had been years since Ryuji last saw her.
“Not as much lately,” Ryuji confessed seriously, eyes locked onto Kaoru’s own. “Ya look so much like her, it’s hard fer me to remember she’s gone.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. It’s no wonder all the boys are asking ya to these dances—yer young, but yer a real looker already. Mom was, too.”
Kaoru tried to hide her smile, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear bashfully; little motions like this, Ryuji knew, drove boys crazy. Honestly, he was a bit surprised Kaoru didn’t have a history of boyfriends, even if she was only fourteen—there was no way she hadn’t been asked out yet. Being an obnoxious, horny boy in his late teens himself, Ryuji knew how their twisted minds worked. Kaoru was everyone’s type. If she wasn’t now, she definitely would be in a few years.
These were just a handful of horrible realizations that kept her older brother up at night.
“So? Any of those stupid boys at yer school good-lookin’ enough to catch yer eye?” Ryuji tried to ask casually, leaning back in his seat.
“Well, that…it’s…complicated,” Kaoru confessed.
“Oh. So…girls, then?”
“Huh?! No, no, not—I’m not into girls,” She laughed, waving her hands. “It’s just…there’s this one boy I’ve kind of had a crush on for a while, now. His name’s Junichi.”
Junichi. He sounded like a punk to Ryuji, but he held his tongue to avoid saying so. So Kaoru was crushing on him—that didn’t mean they were immediately going to start dating. Probably. Teenagers moved quickly in and out of relationships, which meant there was a small chance Kaoru would be over this guy by the end of the season. Ryuji Goda could only hope for so long, though, knowing there would be more guys in the future lining-up for their shot.
Can’t all the boys her age be gay? Kaoru’s brother theorized. That would sure make my job a hell of a lot easier…since when did protecting her become my job, anyway? She doesn’t need protecting. She’s tough.
“…And?” Ryuji continued, despite his last thought. “He asked ya out yet, or is he too chicken?”
“I don’t think he’ll ask me out,” Kaoru shook her head, eyes losing a spark of brightness.
“Why the hell not? He blind or somethin’?”
“Well, he’s my friend Junko’s older brother. We’ve talked before, whenever I go to her house, but when we’re at school, he won’t even look in my direction. I thought he liked me, but now I think I might have just imagined it.” Kaoru suddenly felt self-conscious about their current topic, faking a careless smile to hide her rejected feelings. “I guess it’s kind of silly…I mean, he probably never liked me in the first place. He was probably just being nice, right?”
Ryuji was sure he had a sour look on his face, staring darkly at Kaoru, who now sat with her head ducked so she could pick at her fingers and avoid discussing her unrequited crush any further. Ryuji didn’t exactly want to encourage his younger sister to start accepting romantic feelings from boys—that would inevitably lead to dates, which led to hand-holding, which led to (god forbid) kissing. No, Ryuji Goda didn’t want that at all. He didn’t want anyone, whether it be a boy or girl, seeing Kaoru in such an intimate way, not now, not ever.
However…Ryuji also didn’t want Kaoru to think lowly of herself, that she wasn’t worthy of a man’s time. How could he give her advice without suggesting she start early on her love life? The nineteen-year-old didn’t know exactly what he was going to say, but he knew he had to man-up and lay down some wisdom for Kaoru’s future, especially after realizing there was a good chance he wouldn’t be around to protect her from slimeball boys.
People in his lifestyle usually didn’t have anything to lose—now that Ryuji did, he felt an overwhelming desire to protect it, whether the cost be his own life. or the entrance of his baby sister into the dating world.
“Oi. Listen to me for a sec.”
Kaoru slowly raised her head, vulnerable expression daring to look into her brother’s serious one.
“Never go fer a guy who ain’t man enough to tell ya his feelings straight-out,” Ryuji told her firmly. “Douchebags who play stupid games like that aren’t worth yer time. If he really wants ya, which he should, he oughta state his intentions loud and clear. Understand, Kaoru-chan?”
After a shocked moment of soaking-in Ryuji’s wise words, Kaoru gave a nod, though her brown eyes were still staring at him in awe. She was really starting to admire her brother the more she got to know him. They missed out on so many years and memories, but during their brief get-togethers, late night phone calls and casual talks, Kaoru really thought they were becoming as close as siblings should be. It was a comforting realization when the young girl thought of their future in years to come.
“Ya all done eatin’?”
“Yeah…”
“I’ll go pay. Wait by the door and I’ll give ya a ride home.”
Kaoru slid into her backpack and waited patiently, following Ryuji back outside where the evening air had become the slightest bit cold, sending a chill down her bare knees. Ryuji noticed, like he always did, quickly handing his sister the white helmet so they could be on their way.
“Don’t you have a helmet, onii-san?”
“And mess up my hair? Nah.”
“You know, one day I’ll be a cop, and I’ll write you up for not practicing safe driving habits,” Kaoru said, crossing her arms.
“Sure,” Ryuji snickered. “But I’m yer brother, so you’ll let me off with a warnin’, right?”
“I’ll fine you nine-thousand yen extra.”
The older teen scoffed in displeasure, revving the bike’s engine loudly, as if challenging her threat.
“Get on before I change my mind and leave ya here.”
Kaoru giggled and stopped her teasing, wrapping her thin arms around Ryuji’s waist and holding on tight. They made good time even amidst the lines of packed cars (which was no problem when Ryuji Goda didn’t follow any traffic laws), coming to Kaoru’s street sooner than she expected; half of her didn’t want to get off the bike. She wanted to spend more time with Ryuji, even if all they did was break laws and do wheelies on his motorcycle. Kaoru smiled at the images as she slid off and handed Ryuji her helmet; she was going to thank him for the meal and say goodbye, but he surprised her by stepping off the bike, too. He surprised her once again by reaching into his leather jacket and pulling out a huge wad of cash—it must have been worth at least fifty-five thousand yen, enough to buy unlimited takoyaki.
“Here. Buy yerself a new dress for that dance,” Ryuji said, holding the money out in her direction. “Nothin’ too skimpy, ya hear?”
“Oh…Ryu-san, I can’t take your money,” Kaoru resisted, trying to push his hand back, but it didn’t budge an inch. “I can get some money from Tamiyo-san if I decide to go.”
“Yer going, and yer gonna have the nicest dress out of all the girls.”
Kaoru was helpless against her brother’s strength, watching him pull her hand open and place the chunk of money into her palm.
“Take it,” Ryuji insisted warmly. “Please. It’s the least yer big dumbass brother can do.”
Slowly, Kaoru wrapped her thin fingers around the bills, accepting the gesture with a low bow; Ryuji’s other hand came around to pat her head affectionately, and even though the act was rough and somewhat clumsy, it was probably the warmest sensation Kaoru had ever felt. When she straightened up, the blonde man was heading back to his bike.
“Thanks for the food!” Kaoru added gratefully. “You’ll get home safely, won’t you?”
“Eh—it’s still plenty early,” Her brother shrugged, glancing at the pink sky above them. “Sides’, I better have my fun now, before my little sister becomes a cop and busts me every time I drive without a helmet on.”
Kaoru finally let a real smile out, cheeks lifting along with the smooth corners of her light pink lips, eyes bright and innocent. It reminded Ryuji of their mother, and he silently hoped he would get to see that smile a lot more often.
“Be good, alright, kid?” Ryuji said seriously. Damn—when did I start worrying about her so much?
“I will.”
“Don’t go on too many dates, either. I need as much sleep as I can get.”
The biker started his engine again, and the city seemed to come alive with the sound—Kaoru wondered how she could have been afraid of her brother when they first met. Now, she saw nothing but sunshine, a powerful, shimmering, golden sunshine that spread over the entire world when it burst through dark clouds.
“Onii-chan?” Kaoru started, getting him to pause. “Can we do this again soon?”
Ryuji gave her his attention, gaze stern and steady as he looked over his younger sister—a year ago, Ryuji thought they couldn’t be more different. Kaoru wanted to fight for justice, Ryuji didn’t fight for anything but himself and his dignity. Kaoru was being raised by a bar owner in the middle class, and Ryuji was raised by a notorious yakuza leader. Back then, he thought they were polar opposites, the sun and the moon, or maybe fire and ice. Maybe parts of their personalities still collided, but now, Ryuji saw a handful of significant similarities.
Kaoru and he had the same fierce spirit. They had similar agendas, a sense of tough mentality you couldn’t get in any other bloodline. Despite growing-up apart, in completely different worlds, their perspectives weren’t so different. Their shared strong sense of honor was what really impressed Ryuji, especially seeing it in such a young, headstrong woman. Surely, she would grow-up to be even greater and accomplished than she imagined, always reaching and achieving, just like Ryuji strived to do. Would he have as much influence on her as she was already having on him?
Hell, he thought honestly. Even if she does arrest me someday, I’ll be glad to see her doing so well. And I’m glad we got to have these few memories together, if we never meet again. She’ll be fine, even if I’m gone someday—
After all, we’re lookin’ in the same mirror.
“Yeah,” Ryuji smiled a crooked smile back. “We’ll do it again real soon.”