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This particular room was not often frequented by anyone. It was very far away from the bridge and any dining areas which made it undesirable as a private area to meet with friends. Besides that, Esta was sure it had once been meant for something more important than the private lounge she had turned it into but whatever had been here before was long since gone.
Esta had done quite a good job of sorting it to her liking by stealing pieces of furniture here and there so that the atmosphere was very close to that of a library. Quiet and warm. She had even managed to figure out how to keep the lights dimmed as though it were unoccupied to make her star gazing a little more comfortable. She came here when she couldn't sleep or when she'd had a bad day. Unfortunately, tonight's visit was due to restlessness and little else. A stressful day combined with a general feeling that she was getting sick had managed to leave her anxious and fidgety.
She sat in one of the softer, bigger couches staring out the window at the star lines around the ship as it danced through hyperspace. The hum of the engines and drives was soft but persistent here and it could occasionally lull her into a better mood or, more rarely, sleep.
The sound of the nearby door sliding open did not disturb her and she did not turn to look. She knew who it was and had almost expected the visit. The only acknowledgment she gave of having heard his approach was a shift in her seat to look more firmly out the window.
“I thought I might find you here,” the voice was soft and even, almost monotone. She could hear concern laced into it but still she didn't turn to face him. Precious few people who knew him would be brave enough to ignore him. Esta was not those people and she was not afraid to ignore him when the mood called for it.
She watched him out of the corner of her eye as he sat next to her, just out of reach, not sure if she was going to rebuff him or not. There was no real nervousness in him. They both knew she likely wouldn't send him away but there was no point in not at least making him work for it. He wouldn't appreciate it if she just let him win.
“You're not supposed to know about this room,” Esta said softly, still not turning to look at Thrawn. An empty comment. Of course he knew about it, he was the one who turned a blind eye to her theft of otherwise occupied furniture and ornamentation for the room. She knew she was barely audible above the hum of the hyper drives but he would hear her anyway. It was sometimes a game to see how good his hearing really was. He'd yet to fail her.
“No? My apologies. In that case, I will endeavor to forget its location as soon as I am gone,” a little amusement with the concern now in his voice. Maybe relief. Still, he didn't move any closer leaving her to do as she would. He would never push when she was like this and that alone would frustrate her in to talking. She was convinced he knew as much and that's why he did it.
Esta chewed her lip, still not turning from the lights in the window as the ship made its way to whatever new sector it was set to patrol. She hadn't had a chance to properly cry since she'd gotten the news and now that the chance was here, she feared she might not stop if she started. Bad news was always harder to bear when she didn't feel well. Or maybe she didn't feel well because of the bad news? Either way, the result would be the same.
“I'm an orphan now,” she whispered, not liking the shaking quality her voice had taken on. There had been an accident as her parents had traveled home from a trip aboard a mass transport. Something about a failure in an engine or drive that had resulted in the entire thing being engulfed in flames shortly out of dock. Thankfully there was no need to describe this to Thrawn, he already knew. He likely knew before she had. She chanced a look at him finally and he was only looking back at her, calmly and patiently waiting for her to tell him what she needed or wanted from him.
Esta pushed at her eyes with the heels of her hands trying to stem a flow of tears that were going to be ugly and noisy. This was not a side of herself she was accustomed to showing anyone let alone her commanding officer. But that wasn't all he was otherwise he wouldn't have come to find her the way he had, would he? No time to consider the larger implications of that right now though as her willpower crumpled and she began to cry in earnest.
Whatever signal or indication Thrawn had been waiting for must have occurred or he had decided to forego waiting because he reached for her finally. He pulled her into the relative safety of his arms where she could bury her face in his shoulder and where the sound of wracking sobs would be muffled from prying ears in the halls outside.
He didn't make to let her go as she calmed down a while later, letting her linger there sniffling softly, and leaving marks all over the fine white fabric of his uniform. Esta would fuss if she noticed what she'd done but, he noted with some approval, she was drifting into exhausted sleep.
“You might be more comfortable in a bed,” he suggested, pushing slightly sweat-damp hair from her forehead. She only shifted closer in response, settling herself heavily into his arms and gave a shaky sigh.
“Will anyone find us here, you think?” she asked after a moment or two. Her voice was soft and hoarse from crying.“I don't want to be anywhere else right now.”
“I doubt it,” Thrawn replied thoughtfully. He pressed his cheek to her forehead and frowned. She was warmer than she should have been. Had she made herself sick or was it simply because she'd been crying so much? “This place is rather out of the way. It took me a moment to find you here in the first place.”
“Then can we stay here? Just for a little?” Esta squeezed herself closer to him, seeking warmth and comfort. Her eyes moved back to the lights outside the windows and she sighed. It would be okay for a moment to pretend that there were no other responsibilities. No other reason they couldn't simply sit here and just exist. Nobody was like to find them here and, if they did, then surely Thrawn could make any consequences go away, couldn't he? She just wanted him to sit here with her and keep rubbing circles on her back until she fell into dreamless sleep.
“Of course,” he replied easily, though he'd much rather have her under blankets. It had already occurred to him to make sure the door was locked when he had come in so the event of anyone stumbling across them would be unlikely. “We shall stay here as long as you'd like.”
“ . . . isn't long enough,” Esta murmured, her breathing evening out into what he recognized as sleep. He would wake her in a few hours. Then he would make some inquiries as to just exactly how her family had perished so dramatically in what should have been a routine trip. For now, he mused, it was nice to have her here where he could make sure she was safe and resting.