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It's spring cleaning in my household, and my mother had told me to clear out some of my stuff from the attic to give them away.
As I stepped into the dusty old attic, a certain box caught my eye. It had my name on it.
"Goeun's toys"
Wait, my childhood toys? What are they doing here? I thought my mom gave these away years ago?
I dusted off the top of the box. Everything inside gave me this sudden rush of nostalgia. Has it really been years since I've played with these?
A pair of dolls, a tea party set, a toy doctor kit? Man, I remember wanting to be a doctor. So I asked my mom to buy me a toy doctor kit. It was fun.
All these toys bring back good memories. But the tearjerker from all these…
...is Eunseong's shark toy that I found at the very bottom of the box. I don't know why I have this when Eunseong should be the one keeping it all these years.
Eunseong. I wonder how she's doing now, far away from me?
FLASHBACK (15 YEARS AGO):
"Why do you like sharks so much?"
"Because they look cute! I mean, look at this, Goddun! Ain't he cute?"
She happily shows me the shark toy with a huge smile on her face.
"But, sharks are scary in real life. How could such a creature be cute and scary at the same time?" I told her.
"Hmmm, I don't know. But I love them anyway."
Eunseong continued to play with her toy shark, making shark noises as she ran around the room while I watched her.
Of course, this is Eunseong I'm talking to. She sees the good in everything she sees and touches. That's what I like about her.
Eunseong got quiet after a while. I started to get worried.
"Hey, are you okay?"
The smile on her face fades the moment I asked her.
"Goeun, can I tell you something?"
I know she's serious when she doesn't call me Goddun.
"Yeah? What is it?"
My eyes widened as she pulled out her pinky.
"Promise me that we will grow up together?"
Her words surprised me. I've never heard anything so serious coming from Eunseong. It has always been me who's the serious one.
I guess even the happiest of people get serious every once in a while. I learned that from her that day.
"What? Why so sudden?"
She puts her hand down and sits close to me.
"You know, I've never been this happy until I met you. You've been my best friend for a while now. Every time we have a playdate, my happiness just reaches the top!"
She told me with a faint smile on her face. I wonder why? It's like something is bothering her. But I'll just ignore it.
"Really? Well… All that stuff you said? I feel the same too! And you're really fun to play with, Eunseong. I wish we could stay kids forever."
She raises her pinky once more.
"So, what do you say?"
I intertwined my pinky with hers.
"Of course."
Thus, we pinky swore.
We were happy, and sure that we'll never go our separate ways as we watch each other grow up.
We promised each other, but you broke it.
You're my only friend.
You're the one who left. You left me all alone.
You left me with fifteen years of loneliness.
How could you do this to me, Eunseong? I thought we were going to grow up together?
We… could've been more than that.
I miss you, you idiot.
BACK TO PRESENT:
My thoughts were interrupted when my mom called me to answer the door. I put the shark toy down and rushed downstairs.
The person on the other side of the door had me speechless. It was so unexpected.
"Hey, Goeun. It's nice to know that you still live here."
Speak of the devil.
"I never left, Eunseong."
"You're still upset about me leaving, huh?"
"You promised! But you left!"
"Look at you acting like a five-year-old. We were five. How else would I communicate with you?"
"I don't know. A letter? Do you know my house? A visit would've been nice. It's just-"
Seeing Eunseong at this very moment after what she did to me mixed with my frustration is causing me to shed tears.
"Why didn't you tell me you were moving out of town? I would've completely understood that, but you left without notice. You have any idea how upset I was when you left?"
She holds my hand and explains her side of the story.
"Goeun, we were young when we made that pinky swear. I know what I said."
"But why, Eunseong?"
"I thought if I told you, you'd be sad and don't want to be friends with me anymore. I didn't want to leave town, but we had to."
"Did it ever dawn on you that we could've found a way to keep in touch if you told me sooner?"
I said with a bit of frustration in my tone.
Eunseong started to cry. I didn't mean to make her cry, but I think what happened affected her badly too.
"It dawned on me a bit too late. When I realized how much I missed you, and…"
I felt Eunseong hesitating.
"And?"
She pulls me towards her and locks me in an embrace. Eunseong hugged me tight, hoping to not let her go, sobbed, and started hiccuping.
"How much I love you."
"What? Is that why you came back all of a sudden?"
"It's been so long already, Goeun. I don't know how much more I could wait to see you again."
"Eunseong… I don't know what to say."
She loves me.
Will she stay if I tell her how I really feel about her? That I developed romantic feelings for her over time.
"It's fine, Goeun. You don't have to say anything or forgive me for how much I've hurt you by leaving you behind. I just wanted to see you again."
"Wait! I-"
She lets me go, ready to leave yet again
"See you, Go-"
I pulled her towards me. I crashed my lips on hers. The kiss lasted for a while until we ran out of breath and pulled away. I buried my face on her shoulder and held her tight.
"Eunseong, please. Don’t leave me. I don’t want to lose you again."
"Goeun."
“I love you, Eunseong. I missed you. I missed my best friend, who I've developed feelings for throughout the years we are apart. Don’t even try to leave me again.”
I felt her hand behind my head, pulling me close to her.
“I’ll stay. If that’s what will make us happy.”
Who knew my childhood best friend would become my lover.
“Goeun?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you still have my shark toy? I forgot to get it from you before I left town.”
“I still do. I was cleaning the attic a while ago until I found it in one of the boxes. Do you want it back?”
Eunseong was quiet. She stared at me for a few seconds.
“Earth to Eunseong?”
“You know what? Keep it. I’d rather have you more than my shark toy.”