Archive of Our Own

Otabek drops the cream-coloured envelopes on the dining table, right in front of Leo's cereal bowl. It's his boyfriend's day off so he isn't fully awake yet, but when he reads the words Jean-Jacques & Isabella in fancy, black lettering, his eyes widen slightly.

Leo sighs as he opens the invitation addressed to him. "So they finally settled on a date, huh?"

"It would seem so." Otabek pours himself a cup of coffee and adds some milk from the fridge. He doesn't have much time before he has to leave for practice. "When is it?" He sits next to Leo, draping his arm on the back of the other's chair as he combs through the mess that is Leo's bed hair with his fingers.

"Mmm." His partner relaxes and quickly scans the paper. "Shit, three months from now."

Otabek groans. As the groomsmen, they're gonna have to rush. But at least the wedding itself is going to be after Worlds. "I'll need to talk to my coach today."

"Same," Leo says with another sigh. "I'll call JJ today to let him know we got the invites and to see if we can arrange when to get the suits fitted and such."

"Sounds good." Otabek nods and bites his lip. He really doesn't want to start the day with a fight but … "What about our plus ones?" His partner immediately tenses, leaning forwards and refocusing his attention on the now soggy cereal. Otabek's hand drops against the back of the chair.

"I-I don't want to talk about that right now." Leo is not even looking at him. Fuck.

"Okay. We'll have to discuss it at some point, though."

"Yeah …"

The silence that follows is thick with too many unsaid things, so Otabek gets up, puts his half-drunk coffee in the fridge and quickly changes into his practice clothes.

Leo doesn't say anything, even as Otabek steps out of the apartment, the door snapping shut between them.

Practice is awful, as expected. His coach tries everything to get him out of his own head, but it's pointless. So Otabek takes off his skates and gets sent to the gym. Not what he had in mind when he woke up this morning, but the exercise does help to dissipate some of the anxiety eating away at him.

By the time his coach kindly drops him off outside his place, Otabek is tired. The man doesn't ask what's going on, but the look on his face is enough. 'Leave the problems at home.' Otabek nods wordlessly and gets out of the car. He knows he can't afford another practice like today's, not with Four Continents so close.

The building somehow looks menacing in the blinking lights of the lampposts littered around the street. Otabek approaches the entrance slowly, and in the lobby, he decides to climb the stairs to the fifth floor instead of taking the lift; his mind is still racing a bit. Past conversations swirl around his head like dark fog, memories from different times with the same problem on loop. He wants to tell the world. Leo wants to keep silent. They both tried to explain themselves, then argued, then yelled, then fell into a silent stupor. Not because everything was said but because neither of them seemed to be able to listen to each other any longer without getting stressed. Things didn't exactly get better over time. Otabek just really doesn't want to fight about this anymore. Naïvely, he thought going to the wedding would mark the beginning of their relationship as a proud, public couple.

Instead, it's become a bone of contention between them. Leo, for some reason, refuses to tell even their friends about their relationship of two years. Their families are the only ones that know, as well as Yuri and Guang Hong, both sworn to secrecy. Otabek suspects Bella knows, too, but she's been kind enough not to bring it up because JJ still believes they're only roommates. Otabek snorts. It's ridiculous. The man came to visit several times and never once questioned why the bedroom with Leo's name on the door was pretty bare; he simply thanked Leo for cleaning so well and for 'rooming' with Otabek every single time.

Otabek's musings carry him all the way up the stairs. Taking a deep breath, he unlocks the door and leaves his bag and shoes by the entrance. Leo is on the phone, pacing around the living room and gesticulating wildly with his hands, so Otabek hesitates for a second before approaching him and kissing on the cheek. Leo grabs and squeezes his hand.

It's very hard to suppress the sigh of relief that's threatening to escape. They're okay, apparently.

After a quick look in the fridge, Otabek takes an apple to snack on. He's halfway through peeling and cutting it when Leo walks in, steals a piece, and sits down in front of him, a smirk on his face at Otabek's mock glare.

"Don't. You knew it was going to happen." It's true, but Otabek won't admit it, so he shrugs. His tiredness must show because Leo's eyes soften as he inspects Otabek's expression. "You came home early."

A statement, not a question. No point in lying. "Yeah, practice didn't go well so I just worked out for most of the day."

"Ah, I'm sorry." Leo's gaze drops to the table as he chews his bottom lip.

Otabek tries to play dumb and laughs. "What are you even apologising for?"

But it obviously doesn't work because Leo levels him with a look before sighing. "I talked to JJ today."

"Were you on the phone with him when I came in?"

"Nope, that was my coach. She was giving me slack about something I wanted to change in my routine, not important," Leo dismisses with a hand gesture. This is typically how his free days go; he'll see something cool online, practice his choreography in the living room to see if it would fit, then call his coach to discuss it. Leo is always trying to change or improve small things and it drives his coach crazy.

"What did JJ say?"

"We need to send back our RSVP with our plus ones' names, as well as any food allergies and the like. Everything is on the back of the card." Leo's shoulders are tense again. "Oh, and the colour theme is cream with gold and maroon accents, apparently."

Otabek isn't sure he should bring up the possibility of going together again. "So, beige and red," he says instead.

"That's what I said!" Leo shakes his head and steals another apple slice off of Otabek's plate with a big smile. The atmosphere lightens a bit. "Anyway, he defended himself by saying it's all royal-esque or whatever. He'll call us at the end of the week to arrange the dates for the fittings and show us colour options, fabrics …"

Otabek groans. "Did he mention anything about speeches?"

"He didn't say anything about us having to give a speech. I think they'll ask family only."

"Silver lining," Otabek says and raises the last piece of apple to offer it to Leo, who takes it with a smile.

"Thank you."

The conversation changes to food and their respective days, and by the time they're already in bed, Otabek is a bit anxious again. Leo's head is tucked safely underneath Otabek's chin as he plays a game on his phone—cursing in Spanish every time he gets an answer wrong. 

He unconsciously tightens his arms around Leo. "Should I … message Mila tomorrow?" Leo stops playing his game and his confused eyes meet Otabek's. "You know, to see if she wants to be my plus one for the wedding?"

Leo swallows and wets his lips. "Ah, yeah, I don't think she was invited." He goes back to his game for a while, but the 'You lost!' tune keeps ringing in the otherwise silent room. "Maybe I could text Sara then."

Otabek hums. That might be the best solution for now.

The two women agree, which is a relief. Otabek thinks the selling points were telling them the other one was going and that there's going to be an open bar. And by the end of the week, they choose the design for their respective suits—same colour but Leo goes for the vest and Otabek with the three-piece suit option—via video call with JJ, and thus starts the race for the end of the season and the impending wedding.

The next two months come and go quickly, filled with competitions, ticket and hotel bookings, as well as some small wedding planning. Leo and Otabek arrive some days earlier for their final fittings and for the bachelor party, which, thankfully, is being arranged by some of JJ's university friends and is only going to be them at a bar playing pool. It could be considered selfish, but Otabek couldn't be more grateful that they had to do almost nothing except show up and stand by JJ during the ceremony. Neither Leo nor he need any more stress than they already have from their daily lives.

Another detail to be grateful for is that, as the two groomsmen, JJ insisted they stay at his family house, specifically in his room, which the groom gave up for them. When Nathalie takes them there while JJ moves a few essentials to his younger brother's room, Leo seems to be trying very, very hard not to laugh, so Otabek takes it upon himself to thank her before she leaves and closes the door to let them get comfortable.

"Oh. My. God," Leo exclaims once they're sure she's going down the stairs. "Beka, are you seeing this? Holy shit."

The room is … something else. For starters, two of the walls are painted bright red, the bed covers and curtains matching. The bed is tucked against the right wall and there's a computer and shelves to the left, a display for JJ's many accomplishments and medals, both on and off the ice. Any wall space without a shelf or a window is covered in posters and pictures; some of JJ and his family and competitions, while others are just straight up merch posters of himself.

When they video chatted, JJ was usually in the living room downstairs, where the connection is better, so neither of them had seen his interesting design choices.

"If we had any doubts regarding the decorations for the wedding," Otabek says as he sits on the bed, "now I'm sure Bella planned it all by herself."

Leo cackles and sits on the plush carpet in between Otabek's legs, his back against the bed. "Oh, absolutely. But I'm sure it was out of the goodness of her heart since, you know, JJ was busy competing."

Otabek snorts and leans down, his arms resting on Leo's shoulders, and Leo holds onto his hands and starts playing with his fingers. They look around, taking in the gaudy decorations, and Otabek can't help but sigh. Nothing's happened yet and he already wants to be back home. He tightens his arms around Leo and drops his head, his forehead against his boyfriend's neck.

Leo brings a hand up and scratches the part Otabek recently shaved. He turns his head and kisses his forehead and cheek, the only places he can reach. "It's only a few more days," Leo whispers. Otabek lifts his head, looks him in the eye and kisses him. Leo smiles into it before reciprocating, and they stay like that for a few minutes, just basking in the solitude. It's easier to pretend they are back at their apartment this way.

A door being shut somewhere in the house and some faint yelling from downstairs bursts their bubble, and Leo practically jumps rather than stands, knocking Otabek off balance, his hands quickly shooting back against the bed to stay upright.

Leo's eyes are wide open, fear written all over his features, and he swallows before releasing a forced, breathy laugh. "I'm, um, I'm going to ask JJ if I can take a shower. I'm all sweaty from the plane and, yeah."

He disappears into the hallway, leaving a stunned Otabek behind, who just flops back on the bed.

Just six days .

The tense atmosphere from their first afternoon at the Leroy residence is mostly gone by the next day. They both agree not to be overly affectionate in public—something they're used to—and to make sure the door of JJ's room is locked if they do want to spend time together. 

Although Leo still tenses in Otabek's arms while they're cuddling in bed the next morning, even when the door is locked. The Leroys, just like JJ himself, are not exactly known for being quiet, so it's a normal occurrence to hear yelling downstairs, doors opening and closing loudly, heavy steps as people climb up or down the stairs… 

It's a lot, and it breaks Otabek's heart every time Leo flinches.

They're about to hit hour three since arriving at the tailor's for their fittings, but Otabek is so bored, he's pretty sure he lost a few years of his life as they waited for each man to be measured. There's only so many JJ-style jokes he can take in such a short period of time.

Leo's, Otabek's, JJ's, and his brother's go by pretty quickly because there are barely any adjustments to make. They sent their measurements beforehand and the advantage of being athletes is that their bodies don't tend to change too drastically throughout the season. The problem is with JJ's father, uncles, and other relatives.

Otabek is sitting on one of the couches near the entrance, head tilted back, eyes closed, one arm draped over the back. The cushions to his right move and Leo's perfume reaches him before his boyfriend's knee touches his thigh, his head resting against Otabek's arm. 

Otabek opens one eye; Leo typing on his phone, facing him. "Needed to take a break, too?" he muses, his fingers twitching. He wants to reach out. For the umpteenth time since they arrived, he wishes he could be back home.

Leo gets closer, his voice barely above a whisper. "Like, I know JJ can get a bit…" he trails off, making vague gestures with his hands, to which Otabek laughs and nods. "But so many Leroys in one room?" He shudders, looking over his shoulder at the door dividing the waiting area from the main workshop inside.

"You do realise this is only some of them, right?"

Leo's eyes widen and he scoots closer still with a groan, resting half his body on top of Otabek's chest. Otabek wraps his arm around his back, burying his hand in Leo's hair. He looks around for a second to make sure no one is there and drops a kiss on his boyfriend's forehead. And for once, Leo doesn't jump five feet away from him. Instead, he sighs, content, before looking up at Otabek.

"Do you think it's too late to cancel?"

Otabek laughs again, returning his arm to the back of the couch while Leo moves slightly away, their legs still touching. "It might be, yeah."

Leo is about to add something else, when his phone vibrates in his hand, drawing his attention away. "Mila and Sara have met in London and are waiting for their connecting flight," he informs him, showing Otabek the message and selfie attached of their companions smiling at the camera with huge windows and planes as their background.

"How long until their flight?"

"Let me check." Leo scrolls back up his conversation with Sara. "Their flight leaves in one hour."

Otabek looks at the time on the muted TV in the corner; 11:30 am. "If it's not delayed, they should be here by 10 pm, at the latest. Do we need to go pick them up?"

Leo shakes his head. "No, JJ's family has already hired a van for that."

Otabek hums. "We might need to add some more money for the wedding gift."

"Probably. I mean, it's their wedding and everything, but they have done a lot to make this as easy as possible for us."

While Otabek is thinking how they're going to repay the Leroys' kindness, JJ's agitated voice bleeds through the closed door of the workshop. Leo and Otabek exchange a look before the former gets up and is about to go back in when JJ and his brother exit, clearly in the middle of an argument.

"What do you mean you haven't finished the speech, Andre?" JJ's face shows a mixture of worry, fear, and anger. His eyes look tired, like he just wants this whole week to be over. Otabek can relate.

"Excuse me, when was I supposed to? We've just come back from World's, dude." They haven't interacted much with Andre, but he seems a bit more down to earth than JJ, at least. "You know what? No. We've had one too many arguments about that. And don't worry, you'll have your speech, okay? I promise."

JJ gnaws at his bottom lip before he sighs, shoulders slumping. "Okay, okay. I trust you." He opens his arms and Andre steps into the embrace. "I'll go back in. Hopefully, we'll be home by lunch."

Andre rolls his eyes and JJ disappears inside the workshop again. Then the younger brother all but collapses on the couch opposite Otabek, head in his hands, and Leo retakes his seat. "Um, you okay, Andre?"

The man laughs and lifts his head. His defeated expression makes him look older than eighteen. "I'm fucked." His word choice surprises Otabek. "I don't have anything written down and the wedding is in like three days. And the bachelor party is tomorrow night! And then there's the rehearsal, I'm—"

"Woah, okay, hold on." Leo gets up and sits next to Andre. "Breathe, man. Do you... need help writing it?"

Andre's eyes fill with hope. "Yes! Please! Like Izzy and JJ want me to write about love and marriage and I'm—I have no fucking clue what to include!"

Leo smiles. "I'll help you out, don't worry." He rests his hand on Andre's shoulder and the man finally relaxes.

"Thank you so, so much! I owe you."

"It's fine. You owe me nothing."

"When I see you smile, it's … easy? Beautiful? Wait. Meaningful." 

"Are you sure Andre would use phrases like that?" But Leo's already scribbling down the chosen word, so Otabek gives up on trying to convince him of another one. Instead, he focuses on the next sentence. "You're my brother, and as your sibling, it's my duty to say, I can't believe someone chose you for life." 

Leo snorts but shakes his head. "Beka, no. We can't do that to him." 

"He can scratch the line if he wants to." Otabek grins, but Leo answers him with a raised eyebrow, so he gives up. "Okay, fine. What do you want to talk about instead? The meaning of love?" 

"That's actually a good idea." 

"I have those sometimes." Leo rolls his eyes but the gesture is fond. Otabek knows him well enough to understand the little twitches of his face most of the time now. "Love is how you roll your eyes at me as if I'm the worst person in the world. But you still smile because you can't help it." 

"Cute. But we aren't ghostwriting for Bella and JJ." 

Otabek shrugs. "Okay."

"Though 'meaning of love ' is still cute." Leo rolls onto his back and stares at the ceiling. "What does love mean for you?"

"It means you get the last slice of my apple." He's rewarded with a soft snort. "It means waking up early and feeling less shitty about it because the first thing I see is you. It means being able to share everything that makes me me without the fear of judgement." 

Leo gives him a long look, then nods slowly. "It means knowing someone will laugh at my bad jokes, even if it's pity. It means looking at the night sky and not feeling lost even in an infinite universe." 

Otabek scribbles their thoughts down at an almost frantic pace. "It means relying on someone without feeling like a burden. And being enough without trying." 

"It means leaving the last cookie."

"And the last sip of juice." 

They smile. Things aren't easy between them right now, but … their ideas of love seem to align. Mostly. 

"Love means sharing what matters with your other half only." 

And that's where Otabek frowns. He doesn't want to fight. Not again. Not now. But … "Love means screaming from the rooftops." 

"Whispering in your sheets."

"Going out."

"Staying in." 

"Share your passion."

"Or keep it to yourself." They aren't smiling anymore. 

Leo shakes his head and huffs, before he turns away. He's staring at the wall, as distanced from Otabek as he can be. Fuck. But is it so wrong that he doesn't want to pretend their relationship is a dirty little secret? This has been going on for long enough. And the silence between them doesn't glue them back together either. Instead, they drift. Further apart than they used to be. Further apart than Otabek likes. Further apart than he can stand. 

And yet, neither of them says a word anymore.

"Andre, did you finish the speech, man?" One of JJ's university friends claps the younger Leroy on the back with a little too much force and almost knocks him over the pool table.

He coughs a few times. "Ah, yes, I did actually."

"Thank God," JJ sighs in relief next to Otabek, whose eyes are trained on Leo's smiling face across the room.

It stings, knowing he didn't need Otabek's help after all. Or didn't want it. They have the whole downstairs of the bar to themselves for the Bachelor party so it's easy for Otabek to navigate his way through the empty tables and chairs.

"Hey, when did you—"

"Last night." Otabek frowns, so Leo elaborates. "When you, Sara, and Mila were helping Mrs. Leory with the centerpieces?"

Right. It took hours to put together the souvenirs Bella had chosen. "Ah."

"Yeah."

It's silent again that night.

"And now, my little brother would like to say a few words …" JJ smiles and hands the microphone to Andre before going back to his seat next to Bella. They both look radiant. There's no other way to describe it. Their happiness fills the entire room. But Otabek's insides twist. He'd love nothing more than to be miles away right now.

Andre's grin is eerily similar to JJ's when he grabs the mic. "Good evening, everyone. I hope you're all enjoying yourselves as much as we are?" Otabek is forced to clap along with the other guests. Ugh. Maybe he could excuse himself and go to the bathroom real quick. "My name's Andre, as you all know. And I was entrusted with the small task of delivering not just a speech but the speech of the night!" His face morphs into a grimace and people laugh.

The confidence with which the Leroys carry themselves is incredible. Otabek wouldn't have known the guy was scared of doing this a few days ago.

"I'm gonna be honest ..." Andre cups his hand around the mic and leans forward to whisper, "I had no idea what to say." The guests chuckle all around him. "No, seriously! I didn't! How was I supposed to write about love when I still don't know the first thing about it, right? But … after thinking for longer than I would like to admit, I started asking the people around me, 'What do you think is the meaning of love?' And boy, was I even more confused!"

Andre takes the mic off the stand and walks behind the main table, where JJ, Bella, and their immediate families are. Otabek is thankful the groomsmen and bridesmaids have their own table with their plus ones further to the left. Because, sure, he's a performer. But he really doesn't want all these eyes on him right now.

"I got a mixed bag of answers. And although I was a bit lost and scared I would ruin this … I think I finally understood there was a common thread. Because, yes, I may have never experienced love in this way—yet, I have been lucky enough to witness it." Andre pauses and stands behind Mr. and Mrs. Leroy. "Love has a multitude of meanings. As many as we assign it. Loyalty, patience, honesty, kindness, passion … But love isn't just an abstract idea." He resumes his walk, only to stand behind his sister. "It's companionship, friendship, faith in one another. It's also uncontrollable laughter at 2 in the morning or a hug when you need it most." Andre continues until he reaches Bella and JJ. "Love means generosity, sacrifice, and forgiveness. Because we all make mistakes from time to time. It's only human, right?"

The room is stifling. Otabek loosens his tie a bit and undoes the first few buttons of his shirt. Why did he go with the three-piece suit? Stupid. A whisper next to him makes him tense up. "Hey, you okay?"

Ah, Mila. "Excuse me. Need to use the restroom."

"Dude, right now?"

"Yes." Without another word, he stands, trying to make as little noise as possible as he hides in the shadows in the back. He's just leaning against the wall next to the men's bathroom when someone's shoulder touches his. "Sorry, do you need to—"

"You okay?" Otabek stares at Leo's blank expression and swallows. "You look a bit pale."

It's pointless to lie, especially to his partner, but he can't help himself. The uncertainty and worry plaguing his mind are too large to explain in a few sentences. "I'm fine." 

Leo hums. "You should stay for the final part." Otabek turns his head away, and the two of them listen to the end of Andre's speech.

"What these examples have shown me is that … relationships, whether romantic or not, are like bridges. The two parties must reach a compromise to make it work, to help it grow and build a meaningful connection. Some bridges have beautiful foundations from the start; the stone pillars remain sturdy against the weather. Certain bridges, though, are not meant to survive. They can't withstand time." Andre looks directly at the married couple sitting in front of him. "But there are others, made of wood planks and rope. Those are the ones that need the most care. The materials get dry under the unforgiving sun, the ropes snap, and the wood splinters and rots. And if you keep traversing those bridges without putting in the effort to maintain them, you're gonna either fall or the bridge itself is gonna burn."

Otabek can't get enough oxygen in his lungs. He's breaking from the inside out. Why did his partner write this? "Leo …"

Discreetly, Leo stands closer to him, fingers wrapping around Otabek's hand and squeezing. "Shhh."

Leaning down, Andre joins Bella's and JJ's hands. "I would like to believe, from everything that I've seen throughout the years, that your love belongs in the first category. That you care enough about each other to put in the required work and effort. So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for having taught me that love can actually be easy sometimes, as long as you find the right person for you."

Otabek's vision is blurry as JJ stands up and hugs Andre. He tries to blink the tears away, to hide behind his hand, but Leo is faster. His grip is steady as he pulls them both outside the venue. The grass beneath them must be wet but the clouds above are clearing to give way to the moon. It could be romantic, if Otabek weren't so scared for everything he holds dear.

"What does it mean? All of this? Where are we?" He has an idea because things between them certainly aren't easy or free of problems. But right now, he's trying to figure out if they are category two or three. Is Leo discreetly breaking up with him? Telling Otabek their bridges are doomed because the foundation isn't stable enough, the connection not meaningful enough, the effort too little? What is it Leo tries to tell him? Or is he reading too much into it? Maybe the entire story wasn't about them in the first place and—

"You're overthinking." Ah. So there is that. Otabek takes a deep breath. Okay. So it's easy. Well, the easy answer isn't nice to swallow, but—"Beka? I can see you're overthinking this. Can we talk? Actually talk?" Ha. As if Leo hasn't been the one trying to hide. But yes. Sure. Otabek straightens his posture, rolls his shoulders, squares up as best as he can. If he's going to be let down on the day of a good friend's wedding, he'll take it in stride. "You look like you're getting ready for a fight." Leo's voice is … small. Defeated? Otabek looks over and there isn't the fire he expects. Warmth, yes. But it isn't scorching. 

"I just … tell me what you've got to say." 

Leo kicks a pebble. "It's … not easy. Relationships often aren't. I'm aware. And I'm also aware we need to work extra hard because the outside world and our circumstances make things even more complicated. But … I would like to believe that our relationship isn't fragile. That it belongs in the first category, or at the very least, that we care enough about it to put in the work that is required. Sure, our bridge may not be flashy or ostentatious like JJ and Bella's, or even as grand as Viktor and Yuuri's. But I trust you, Beka. I know you and I know that what we have isn't going to burn down because of something as superfluous as being … out. I love you, so please understand that I'll never hurt you or turn my back on you."

Oh. Oh wow. Otabek takes a small breath. Not enough to clear the fog that started swirling once Leo began to explain his view, but it helps ground him regardless. Not category two. Maybe not even category three. One. Leo thinks they have solid bridges or at least the foundation to build them. It's … a lot to take in after wondering if this is the end. He swallows audibly, then takes his partner's hand. No one will see. And even if they do, friends can hold hands, right? Or … or wait. Leo said something about being out. Maybe … it's too much to hope for, but regardless, they need to talk about this. "What did you mean when you said being out won't burn our bridges?" He wants to add that he loves Leo, too. But first, Otabek needs to properly breathe again, and there's still that stone lodged where it shouldn't, compressing his chest.

Leo sighs, too. He probably expected this question, but he isn't too happy about it regardless. And yet, he continues. "I know you want to come out. I know you want to share this with the world. And I understand. I just … I can't. It's too much. The interviews, the press conferences, the fans, oh god, the fans. It'll be … fuck, Beka it's already so much. I barely get to train as much as I like with the million photo shoots and interviews and everything. A coming out will just take out even more of us. They will observe every step we take, every decision we make, you see what happens with Viktor and Katsuki, all the tabloids, all the—"

Otabek planned to listen to all of this, he really did, but there's something he has to point out and keeping his tongue in check anymore is a huge effort. "That's all … the public. Right? The public at large." Leo draws his eyebrows tight and nods once. "But the public isn't what I want. I don't care if some trash magazine knows we're dating or if they ask us about girls. None of that matters to me." 

"Then what?" It seems to be Leo's turn to be confused. "You wanted to come out, right?" Otabek confirms with a nod. "Then that's the consequence." 

"It doesn't have to be. I never …" Deep breath. Otabek has to consciously force air into his lungs. "I never thought a public, large coming out was necessary. All I wanted was our friends and family. I want to hold your hand. Kiss your cheek. It doesn't have to be your lips. I just want to be able to be close to you …" 

Leo reaches for his hand and Otabek let's him take it. "But … that's what I want, too." 

"I thought you didn't want to come out at all?"

"I thought you wanted to make it a giant, public thing." 

The entire situation is so absurd, Otabek snorts a little. "When have I ever wanted public attention?"

And now, Leo is smiling, too. He shoulders him gently, then kisses Otabek's cheek. "When was I ever secretive towards my friends?"

"I know! It didn't make sense!"

"It really didn't." They both shake their heads, before finally eyeing one another again. 

"So you're fine with … some people knowing?" 

"More than fine. I just don't want to make it the center of attention. I love you. But not for the public to judge. Just between us." 

Otabek hums. Oh well. He turns and stares at the door leading back inside. "Sometimes, things aren't as hard as we think, I guess." 

Leo rolls his shoulders and turns, too. "Not if we put in the work, no." At some point, they will go back inside and work things out, but right now … Now all they need is each other. 

"Jean! They're here!" They look back at the venue, and there's Bella waving at them.

JJ appears next to her a second later and looks left and right until he spots them on some chairs underneath the canopy. "There you are! We need you for the pictures, come on."

"Make sure they look presentable?" Bella whispers but Otabek knows it's about him. She kisses JJ's cheek and goes back inside.

Leo pats his knee and Otabek adjusts his tie with a playful roll of his eyes.

"Sorry, Izzy just wants everything to be perfect." JJ shrugs and looks after her, fond even when most people would be annoyed. 

A smile tugs at Otabek's lips . "It's fine."

"What were you guys doing out here anyway? Wasn't it raining?"

"You know, talking. It can get a bit loud in there." Leo stands and stretches his arms a bit. "Besides, that's why we are under the canopy." He shrugs and tries to play it off for a moment, Otabek can tell by the way Leo searches his eyes. As if he's asking for permission to delay the reveal. 

It hurts when Otabek bites the inside of his cheek, but he shrugs regardless. Because they promised to put in the work together, and they agreed to come out to family and friends, but they didn't specify, so he has no basis to push for anything. 

Leo gives him a weird look—contemplative, maybe—before he shrugs. "Fuck it." He wraps his hands around JJ's arm as if he's trying to hold him back, to stop him from running away even though he doesn't even try to. But maybe Leo likes to be in control. Perhaps he's just anxious. "Beka and I talked about the speech. By Andre." 

"Amazing, wasn't it?" 

Leo grins and says nothing. Instead, he nudges JJ further away from the door. "The way he spoke about relationships … it made Beka and I think about ours."

"Your friendship." 

A swift look to Otabek as if he's asking, 'Are we really doing this?', then he purses his lips. "Not just that, no …" JJ tilts his head, clearly confused. "Well, you know how we, um, live together."

"Yeah, you've been roommates for years now."

"Right, right. Well, what if … we told you we've been more than roommates for a while?"

JJ's eyes grow big. "Oh, did you finally buy the place? Neat!"

Closing his eyes, Otabek sighs. Why did they decide this was a good idea? "Jean, we're together."

His friend frowns. "What? What do you … mean?"

"We're dating. Have been for two years now."

"But—" JJ's gaze shifts between them and Leo lets go of his arm to stand next to Otabek, who gets up from his chair and grabs Leo's hand, intertwining their fingers. "Wait, that would mean you guys were already together back when I visited last summer?" They both nod, then JJ is pointing at Leo. "That's why you offered your room!"

"Yes."

"Woah, I didn't—" He doesn't finish the sentence and comes to stand in front of them, hands resting on their shoulders. "Thank you for telling me, by the way, for trusting me. Is this a secret?"

"Well. Not a super secret-secret. But so far, only two people know, besides our families. Yuri and Guang Hong. And now you. You can tell Bella. But … no one else, please. We'll talk about it. When we're ready." Leo nods to emphasize his words, but … how much did JJ even hear? He's staring over their shoulders into the distance. 

"A secret."

"Kinda, yeah."

"No one ever trusts me with secrets." Otabek blinks. He didn't expect that reaction, but—"No one ever tells me anything from the other skaters! And I'm good with secrets! I swear! I'll keep it so secret, no one will ever know!" He actually taps his feet a little, like a giddy child. "This is the best gift you could have given me! Thank you, guys!"

Whoa. A gift? That's not what Otabek expected. Neither did Leo, by the look of it. But a second later, they are already the center of JJ's crushing embrace. 

"A secret!" He snickers and tightens his grip, before finally releasing them again. "You guys are amazing!" Otabek smiles and squeezes Leo's hand. 

They are. They just needed a little reminder. 

"Oh, no."

Otabek looks up from his book, concerned. Nothing good can come from Leo exclaiming that while looking at his phone at 11:30 at night. "What happened?"

"JJ emailed us the wedding photos." That breaks a small chuckle out of Otabek's chest. "Let me get the laptop."

"Really?" His boyfriend is already in the living room.  "You wanna look at them right now?"

Leo is sitting on top of the covers a second later, clicking away and opening his email. "Yes?"

The folder takes forever to load, but when it does … "Do I really look that stiff in front of the cameras?"

"Dude …"

"What?"

Shaking his head, Leo shuffles through the first one hundred stills quickly. They laugh at some of the more candid ones of JJ dancing, Mila cackling at something Sara whispered in her ear a second before the picture was taken, and many more silly moments of the night. It isn't until they almost reach the end of the folder that they find something they like.

"Mmm, this one's nice." Leo comments and Otabek tightens his arms around him. His boyfriend decided to settle between his legs, computer balanced on his lap, after the first thirty-ish picture. "What do you think?" He looks back at Otabek, a question written on his features.

"Nice enough to … share you mean?" Leo nods. And yeah, Otabek agrees. The three of them are in the middle of the dance floor, goofing around, while Bella covers her mouth delicately. JJ is extending his hand toward her, trying to get her to join them, while Otabek has his arms around Leo right after his boyfriend twirled back into his embrace. They all look so … happy, carefree. Otabek is pretty sure the photo was taken after they told JJ about their relationship.

Leo squirms in his arms. Impatient. "So? Should we?"

"Yeah."

Liked by Jjleroy!15 and 6,532 others

Leo de la Iglesia Thank you for letting @otabek-altin and I be a part of such an important day, @Jjleroy!15 🎉

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Jjleroy!15 Thank you both for giving me the best gift of the night, hands down 😄