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At a few minutes after midnight, in the adamant tower, this was where the commanders of the great war stood:
Madame Oxentiel departs from an open window on the back of her blue hawk, to join the Gallivespian's search for the stray daemons that Metatron was attempting to capture.
Visible in the distance, Xaphania flies to and fro, seeking the abyss for reasons she wasn't quite sure of yet - although she was starting to have her suspicions.
In the largest room of the tower, King Ogunwe stood and bowed, ready to depart and rally his men, only for a hesitant voice to stop him in his tracks: "My friend, before you leave - I have one more request to make of you."
And in the same room, sitting at the opposite end of a large table, Lord Asriel contemplates how worn down he must seem to the man across from him as their eyes meet once more. His choice of honorific had been deliberate: when he was speaking to King Ogunwe as a leader, as a man of war, the appropriate title was simply 'King'. But when he was speaking to him solely as a friend, he addressed him as such.
"This is about the lady Coulter, isn't it?"
Too exhausted to grant a verbal response, he simply nods, then shoots a mental request across to Stelmaria, who fetches him some blank sheets of paper and a pen from across the room before sitting down at his side, acknowledging the King's cheetah daemon with a grateful bow of her head.
Asriel never thought things would come down to this. Death was one thing; defeat, although entirely less desirable, was still another. But neither of them compared to oblivion. His idea - the only idea his battle-weary mind could come up with - involved banking on Metatron having pride, fighting him at the edge of the abyss between worlds...and then dragging him down, condemning them both to annihilation. It was a humbling thought, and terrifying too, and yet deep down he was already preparing himself for the ordeal, ready and willing to make the ultimate sacrifice to protect his daughter and safeguard the chances of winning this war.
But he needed closure in one vital aspect of his life before he could say that he was truly ready to greet his end with open arms. Marisa had become a wildcard in his plans - she had blindsided him on multiple occasions, and now she slept in his bed in the neighbouring room, blissfully unaware that her lover was preparing to die for the final time. It didn't feel right for Asriel to leave her without warning, but a part of him knew that if she were to discover his plan, she would probably end up joining him in the abyss. He wanted her to have the option to survive, above all else.
So he decided that he would at least make sure that a message would be waiting for her after he was gone. He offers his friend an apologetic look, gesturing to the paper in front of him.
"Forgive me, my friend - I'm afraid I must admit that I lacked the foresight to prepare for this, and so I ask for your patience."
King Ogunwe understood at once what was being asked of him. With a nod and a kind smile, he sat down at the opposite end of the table to Asriel, busying himself by looking over some of their maps out of courtesy for his commander's privacy.
And so, with Stelmaria's gentle encouragement to guide him the whole time, Asriel sets to work on writing the most important letter of his life:
Marisa, my love,
If you're reading this letter, then I have succeeded in defeating the Regent.
I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about my plan, but I wanted you to live to see the arrival of the new Republic of Heaven. With Metatron's destruction, our daughter - and all peoples across all worlds - will be able to grow up knowing true freedom. It brings me great joy to know that you too will be able to reap that benefit. The Regent's downfall will undoubtedly signal an end to tyranny. May that end extend eternally.
I don't regret my choices in this war. Everything I did, I chose to do knowing that it would bring us all closer to liberation, and I have condemned myself to the abyss knowing that my sacrifice will buy Lyra and her companion the time they need to reunite with their dæmons and return to safety, forever out of the clutches of those who seek to bring us all down to our knees. I have always been ready to lay down my life for this cause. To do so knowing that I am also laying down my life for our child fills me with pride.
My only regret is that I did not get to spend more time with you. I leave this life behind with the wish that I had spent all of my days with you by my side. In an ideal world, we would've married. If you believe in the idea of alternate timelines, then know that I believe that in every other timeline, we would've been truly inseparable. But I want you to also know that no matter how much time we spent apart, and no matter how much we fought and stood against each other, the times that we did spend together - where it felt like it was just the two of us against the whole world - were the best times of my life. My only regret is knowing that all our memories have now been made, and that I will never get another chance to watch our dæmons embrace each other. That I will never have you in my arms again. That I will never have a last kiss with you and know, for just one more time, the feeling of everything and everyone else becoming entirely insignificant compared to you.
Now that you have seen what we have achieved, I can only hope that you will continue this great work. It will be all that remains of my legacy - who better to safekeep it than the love of my life? No matter what darkness remains in your heart, or what malice you still hold close to your chest, I have every faith that you will have the strength to do what needs to be done. To that end, what little that I have left back in our world is yours from this point onwards.
My final wish is that you will find true happiness, both in this life and every life to come. And as I succumb to the abyss, my final thoughts will be of you, and of Lyra, and of all of our memories together - of which I have forgotten none, and I cherish them all.
I love you, Marisa. These will be my final words; and now I leave the fate of my memory and my legacy to you.
Yours, forever and always.
Asriel
Finally, Asriel sighed and lowered his pen, weary eyes finally taking note of the length of his letter. It felt as if a part of his soul had left Stelmaria's body and become embedded within the ink on the paper. Maybe it had; for the first time in his life, it felt as if he had truly become unguarded, his heart and mind laid bare for all to see, and normally that prospect would terrify him, but tonight he is indifferent to it, because these were ultimately the thoughts and feelings of a dying man.
What use is there in keeping matters of the heart secret, to a man who was facing imminent oblivion? All that he was - all that he has ever been - has now been reckoned with and laid aside; only the commander of the great war and his fate remains.
He steels himself once more. Tired hands work on folding the paper and sealing it inside an envelope, before turning it over and writing Marisa's name on the front.
"I appreciate your patience, King."
He hands the sealed envelope to his friend, who takes a cursory glance at the name written on the front before tucking it away inside his jacket.
"If…" and already he hesitates; it's not a matter of if anymore, but when. But he is still leader of the rebellion until he falls, and so he starts again with renewed confidence. " If I don't survive what's to come, then I trust you to see to it that Marisa receives that letter."
But of course, King Ogunwe did not reach his lofty position by being a fool. He raises an eyebrow at the statement, and Asriel knows that he's worked out what the real plan is. At a guess, he had only withdrawn from openly revealing as much out of respect for his commander. What he does do, however, is force a smile before making his promise.
"I will ensure that the lady Coulter receives this letter." Spoken with the implication of when, not if.
"Thank you, my friend." Spoken with the implication of thank you for everything, not just for the promise of the letter's safe delivery.
And then King Ogunwe is moving across the room, and Lord Asriel rises to his feet to receive him one last time. They shake hands, their grip on each other tighter than normal. Next to them, Stelmaria and the cheetah daemon press their foreheads against each other, bidding a silent farewell. Both humans and their daemons break apart at the same time, only exchanging a final look once King Ogunwe had opened the door to leave.
"Good luck, Lord Asriel."
In that moment, Lord Asriel stands tall and proud; a leader to the very end. "Good luck, King Ogunwe."
The door closes, and he falls back into his chair unceremoniously, his entire body feeling heavy with the weight of his decision. Stelmaria places both front paws on his legs, pushing herself up to meet his gaze. She too, albeit understandably, looked exhausted. One of his hands reaches up to rest behind her ears, and she leans her head gently against his cheek to help him still his mind.
"We will win this war." She purrs.
"We're saving Lyra - and ensuring that Metatron's tyranny will die with him." He responds.
They both close their eyes and rest against each other like that for a while, taking solace in what they both knew would be the last peaceful moment of their lives. Then Asriel takes a deep breath, and Stelmaria returns to his side, and the two of them ready themselves for the fight to come.
A few minutes later, Marisa enters the room. He doesn't tell her about the letter.
A few hours later, they plummet into the abyss, taking Metatron with them. He doesn't tell her that he never intended for her to fall with him.
A few weeks later, the letter he wrote was placed in the most secure vault that King Ogunwe owns - not destroyed, because it didn't feel right to burn the final written words of the great war's victorious commander, but not opened either, because it didn't feel right to open a letter that was addressed to a now dead woman. It simply remained in that vault, untouched and undamaged; an eternal epitaph to the lovers now joined together but lost to everyone else for all of time, and to the love story that had changed worlds, influenced countless individuals, and made possible even the impossible, for it was the love story that destroyed a god.