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"Unfixable" Flowers

Summary:

Original Title Name: "Recollection & Roses"
A brief encounter with an old partner and Dazai's mind is in chaos.

He experiences occasional dissociations, day-by-day masking deeply rooted fears behind a crooked smile. And his mind drifts back to those past days, more vividly after they met again after 4 years.

All these repressed feelings blossoming again, which he thought died in the darkness he left behind and entered the light.

Although, certain flowers tend to survive in the most extreme conditions.

Notes:

Somewhat of a **sensitive topic warning** this is not purposely intended to romanticize dissociation or alcoholism/anything similar, it’s mainly a character analysis and/or interpretation of Dazai’s character from a starter sentence prompt so just a fair warning on topics like this, thank you for reading. I’m interested a lot in the psychology of characters but may not be too informed myself in certain things so please correct me if I’m not the most accurate. Thank you for Niss for sending all those prompts!!

also let’s pretend the guild conflicts are non-existence in this AU.

~ instagram is bloodyinspiring.vfx where sometimes I write updates about some stories!

Chapter 1: Prologue: Black Dahlias

Summary:

This chapter is more of my own take on the reunion of Dazai & Chuuya with some internal monologue, actions, etc. so the upcoming chapters make a bit more sense, hopefully.
EDIT: hi this is random but this is actually the prologue of the "Recollection & Roses"(now chapter 2 here), since it was posted before this chapter if you're returning akdhasj kinda confusing but I was unsure about adding this small section for a while

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Dazai's head hung low as he attempted to shake off the drowsiness muddling his vision. An empty ache burned everywhere in his bones. He’s used to sleepless nights but they started getting worse again recently, unable to complete simple tasks sometimes.

The metal against Dazai’s wrists caved in his skin, almost threatening to tear but he’ll manage. He’s prone to situations like this, or well...used to be.

He couldn't recall being held captive by an enemy during his time at the detective agency at all.

Unless doing paperwork counts, grimacing at the thought of a certain co-worker’s scoldings.

Still, when did he last feel handcuffs around his wrists?

A past memory tugged at the back of his mind. When he experienced the high adrenaline of being trapped in the hands of the enemy. And knowing he was one step ahead of them.

He looked up at the ceiling, shifting through murky memories but surprisingly got nothing.

How strange...why couldn't he remember anything?

His nose crinkled at the smell of gasoline, or maybe it was gunpowder. A distant static buzzied through a radio transceiver in his right ear and a flicker of a gruesome bloodbath and flying bullets overcame his vision.

Crackle. “Piss off, scrub.” A raspy voice on the other end sniped. It was familiar.

“Hi, C̶h̶u̶u̶y̶a̶. You’re in the range of the enemy. Take some bullets and die, thanks,” he believed he said himself into the intercom.

The same familiar voice muttered something else over the transceiver but the rushing wind drowned it out.

Dazai blinked, the wind disappearing and he was still handcuffed in one of the Port Mafia’s torturing cells.

The harsh smells replaced with rusted metal; there was no rubble, no bullets, no static in his right ear.

He yawned from the exertion of his swarming thoughts, swaying a bit. He was unsure why that memory came to mind, if it was one.

Anyways, back to the plan.

“It’s about time,” he said to himself.

If he predicted correctly, by now they—Atsushi and Kyouka—should be...

He perked up at the steady clack of boots on concrete.

“Plotting as usual?” A voice rang out.

Dazai froze. “That voice...?”

The footsteps grew louder until they ceded at the foot above the staircase leading to the entrance of the cell. A reddish light leaked in the dark room.

“This is nice. This is a great view. It rivals even a masterpiece worth 10 billion yen. Wouldn’t you agree, Dazai?”

Everything clicked together then.

Another rush of distorted memories flooded his vision. Dazai squinted at the silhouette before him, forcing himself to focus on the mafioso.

That voice belonged to his ex-partner.

Nakahara Chuuya.

Notes:

Black dahlia symbolism: Conveys negative meanings compared to the other shades. Since they have the strongest hue of all dahlias, they often symbolize betrayal, sadness, and other negative emotions.
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I didn’t know black dahlias were a thing until I looked up “flowers that mean betrayal” & they look like camellias tainted with black; I’m really surprised with the irony in that.