Chapter Text
The soft green glow of the alarm clock read 12:17, Kashuu barely noted through sleepy eyes, awakened by the sound of the door sliding open. “Nnngh, you're back late...” he muttered.
Yasusada only offered a quiet “yeah” in response before heading straight towards the dresser. He didn't reach for his nightclothes, but for his true form. It took a second, but even Kiyomitsu's half awake brain realized that he shouldn't be doing that. Blinking the sleep away, he sat up to see what was going on.
“Are we getting sent out again? Ugh, we just got home...”
In shadow, Yasusada's outstretched hand dropped. “Not exactly... it's just me.” He crouched down across from his partner, speaking softly. “I'm going for solo training. I just got permission from Aruji.”
Kashuu's eyes snapped wide open. “You're leaving? Right now? Can't you wait until morning? I mean, you're probably tired already, and we can't even give you a good send-off like this...” Even though he tried not to show it, concern leaked into his voice.
“I don't want a send-off.” Yasusada was almost too quick to respond. “I'm sorry I woke you up, I meant to leave quietly. I didn't want to give myself time to reconsider.”
There's no way to describe the sound in Kiyomitsu's words other than heartbroken. “You wanted to leave without me knowing,” he managed after a silence. But he wasn't wrong, and Yasusada only nodded silently. The red-eyed blade looked up at him with a pained expression before burying himself in his blankets again. “Kay then, go. You're the worst.” Though the world was dark, quiet footsteps approached, followed by a hand pulling the blanket away. Yasusada crouched next to him, veiled in faint moonlight drifting through the open door. It was really unfair how beautiful he could be when he was being cruel.
“We'll both be mad for days if I leave after you say that,” Yasusada whispered. “You caught me, so let's talk now.” No response. “Okay, then I'll talk. I think... I think something like fate brought us all here. So many different personalities and pasts, all at once. Most of us never should have met, so isn't it something crazy like that? And I've realized that the people here who are happiest are the ones who really accept that our old lives are over. The ones who accept that we only serve the Saniwa now. You were like that already when I got here, but when you left and returned, you looked... free. Like it didn't bother you as much anymore. And I started to feel like I'm weighing the team down.” His gentle voice sounded resigned. “I know that how I feel can be troublesome, but it's so ingrained in me. Part of me really doesn't want to change.”
“So don't.” Kiyomitsu was quick to respond. His hand stopped just short of brushing against his partner's leg. “Don't change. Even if you're weird sometimes, even if you mess up... that's what everyone does. But the way you do it, that's you. Just stay as Yasusada.”
Those incredibly blue eyes looked back at him, then away. He shook his head. “Nobody comes back that different. You said you'd be cuter and stronger, right? And it worked. I'll be stronger too.” Silence, as blue eyes met red, both searching for the words. “I definitely messed up a minute ago. I thought if I stopped for anything, I'd lose my resolve... but if anything, I think it's getting even stronger. I'm sorry for being stupid and hurting you, Kiyomitsu. But I have to go.”
Kashuu was unmoving, but not unwavering. He looked up, trying not to say something he'd instantly regret. “Come back more considerate of people's feelings, jerk.” There was no real venom to the words. He knew that his partner would understand the real meaning.
And of course, he did. “Maybe I will if you say you'll miss me.”
“Why would I miss you? Stop saying embarrassing things like that, that's why I said it,” Kashuu quipped, then sighed. “Look, I still don't think you should go. You're gonna see a lot of things you'll wish you hadn't. But as your partner, I trust you. So come back safe, okay?” He paused. Saying serious things wasn't easy.
On a whim, he suddenly grabbed Yasusada's white scarf, snatching it away and walking off. Yasusada stared blankly, suddenly feeling exposed. When Kashuu returned, he held both the stolen white scarf and his own red one. But it was the vivid crimson one he held out expectantly.
“Here. You have to give it back after. Now you've got something you have to do back home, so you have to come back. Now go, before I change my mind and make you wait until morning.”
Yasusada nodded and accepted the offering, leaving the dark room without a word. Kashuu was left with only silence and that green glow of the clock.
The whisper he never heard was “When I come back, I'll be able to love you wholeheartedly, without splitting it between you and the past.”