Chapter Text
Perry and Heinz Doofenshmirtz were arch nemeses. No matter how much Perry tried to deny it, and reason in his mind that this was just a job he had to do, he genuinely despised the guy. He'd become too involved into his personal life to just deem him as a "coworker" like he used to, and he hated Doof for that. Perry didn't want to form any attachments, good or bad. It was bad enough he had Phineas and Ferb, who he accidentally started caring for, but now he has Heinz Doofenshmirtz, who he accidentally wants to take down.
To everyone else but Heinz and those at the OWCA, Perry was a regular platypus. This, of course, wasn't true. But those who only saw Perry as a highly intelligent platypus were also wrong. Perry was a human. Well. He still felt human. He had human thoughts, and human memories of his once human body. Every animal agent at the OWCA is a human. Has a human soul, at least. He wasn't sure if the other agents had such attachments to their evil assignment, or host family if they had one, but Perry was human, dammit, so he was attached.
Perry was currently in Phineas' bed, watching him sleep. He's been with this kid for 5 years, and watched him and his brother and sister grow up, so how could he not love him. He's saved him from danger quite a few times, as well, unbeknownst to Phineas. He was just a good kid. Before he was turned, human Perry never really cared for children. Always too loud and in the way. But Phineas and Ferb were different. Whatever.
Perry settled back in, ready to fall back asleep, when he heard his watch buzz quietly. Jesus Christ, Perry groaned internally. Time for "work". He hopped out of his bed, put on his hat, and went into one of many secret hatches to his secret basement. While he was sliding down, he wondered how much longer he would be forced to do this. It had only been five years, so he guessed there was at least 10 more years. He also wondered if his body's lifespan depended on human or platypus numbers, because those varied very differently. Plopping into his chair to face the video monitor, he mentally prepared himself to see someone he hated more than Doofenshmirtz; someone he planned on one day killing.
"Good morning, Agent P," Major Monogram gruffly said, too loud for Perry's freshly awoken ears, "Dr. Doofenshmirtz is up to no good again..." Almost everyday, Monogram went on his little speech about what Doofenshmirtz was up to. Almost everyday, he acted like Heinz was the only one doing evil. He pretend Perry was just a platypus. He pretended, but Perry couldn't pretend when looking at the man who ruined his life, and put him like this in the first place.
The OWCA claims to be an organization fighting the bad guys of the world. That's what it looks like on the outside. 5 years ago, that's what Perry thought they were. That was, until they framed him for murder and imprisoned him. Unbeknownst to the general public, the agents who worked there were animals. Furthermore, these animals were actually humans all members of the federal prison system. Someone in the government years ago thought it would be a splendid idea to use prisoners for good. However, they couldn't just let prisoners free into the world to fight bad guys; how could they trust them? So they were turned into animals. The animals were then put into apartments by themselves, or if they were determined to need a closer watch on them, put into a host family to be their pet.
Perry was the most dangerous one apparently. He'd seen agents come and go, only spending a few years until they were released. He figured they only used the smartest criminal, but also criminals that weren't much of a threat. Perry was the only prisoner in this program locked away for murder. Now, Perry didn't murder anyone, and he was sure the officials at the OWCA knew this. Perry was framed.
Monogram had finally finished explaining what the plan was for today, so Perry was set free to Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc. While Perry hated Doofenshmirtz, there was definitely some form of comfort in their predictable routine. He would show up and get trapped, listen to Doofenshmirtz's monologue, and then Perry would find a way to get out and destroy the Inator he made that day. He used to be indifferent towards Doof, but after five years of this man incessantly trying and failing over and over, it was ridiculous. All he did was complain. He didn't even know how much worse Perry had it than him. At least Doofenshmirtz had his daughter, a nice place, and was able to do things on his own free will. He wanted to conquer the tri-state area, but surely he knew by now it was a fruitless battle that he was never going to win. Maybe Perry hated how optimistic he was. Perry had lost that optimism in the past five years, but Dr. D's only seemed to grow with every failed attempt. It disgusted Perry.
The giant purple building now in view, Perry entered, sneaking past security. He decided on the front door approach today. He liked to change it up to keep it interesting. However, no matter how many times he tried to trick Dr. Doofenshmirtz by coming in different ways, Heinz always seemed to know where Perry was going to enter from. Perry guessed it was because Dr. Doofenshmirtz knew Perry so well, which absolutely pissed Perry off even more. He didn't want to be known. Perry kicked through the front door, and unsurprisingly, was caught in a trap.
Doofenshmirtz was already standing there, probably rolling over a pun in head for this very moment.
"Ahhh, Perry the platypus! So glad you could join me..." he started, walking towards his Inator that was apparently the "next big thing" for him to take over the tri-state area. When Perry first started this job, he wondered if Heinz could make him an Inator to turn him back into a human. Perry was sure he could, but he just couldn't work out how the repercussions would go. He knew he'd be on the run for the rest of his life from the OWCA, and even if he somehow communicated to Doofenshmirtz that he was actually a human and needed help turning back, the chance of Heinz helping him was slim to none. Why would he help him? He probably would just laugh in his face. Perry also didn't know if he could accept help. It wasn't in Perry to take handouts from anyone, no matter the situation. So Perry decided a while back that he would just have to wait it out himself, or find a way back to being human if the chance came.
Heinz was going on about his brother, Roger, today. Honestly, he made some points about the government and how flawed it was.
"Roger is just as selfish as I am, he just hides it behind his big, shiny teeth. He needs to be in control, and he needs to be constantly making money, no matter the situation," Heinz was saying. This was interesting, because a lot of the times Doofenshmirtz's reasonings felt so petty and insignificant. This actually made some sense, and had some intelligence behind it. Perry felt a small surge of admiration for Heinz. Recently, his plans and rationales made more since, and honestly sometimes Perry found himself agreeing with him to a certain extent. Did he think Doofenshmirtz should be the one to rule the area? No. But should the current government undergo a heavy change? Definitely.
While Dr. Doofenshmirtz readied the Inator, aiming it for the mayor's office to turn his brother into an old person or something, Perry broke free from his trap. Right as Doof was about to hit the button, Perry kicked him. They fought for a while, bumping into the Inator a few times. Perry loved getting to beat the hell out of Dr. Doofenshmirtz almost everyday. It made him feel more human. Finally, Perry pressed the Self-Destruct button, blowing up the machine as Perry parasailed back to the ground. He heard Heinz yelling behind him, cursing him like he does everyday. Perry smiled. Another successful day getting rid of Dr. Doofenshmirtz's creations, and one day closer to his freedom.
However, as Perry finally touched ground, ready to head back home, he felt his watch buzz for the second time that day, which never happens. It said to meet back in his secret basement, and Perry groaned internally. He didn't know what this could possible mean, but he didn't think it was going to be good.