Chapter Text
Bonnie pushes Stefan away from her. She looks around for a weapon. Her hands are shaking as she realizes that she is defenseless. She has no magic.
Frantically, she spots a brick on the ground and quickly picks it up. Suddenly, she is heaving and coughing. She drops the brick on the ground. She falls back against the wall, holding her stomach as the pain courses through her body.
When Esther said she would channel the Bennett line, Bonnie didn’t think it would be so painful. Esther’s taking too much. Her head is spinning and she can barely stand. But, she knows that she’s all alone. No one is coming to rescue her. So, she’s going to need to find a way to fight this battle herself. As always.
A million different thoughts are running through Bonnie’s brain. Maybe she can reason with him or appeal to his morality. That wouldn’t work. This isn’t the same Stefan who arrived in Mystic Falls. He’s different now. He’s the guy who nearly ran Elena over that bridge just to get revenge on Klaus.
Foolishly, she still pleas with Stefan, begging to see just a sliver of her old friend—the guy who always did his best to protect her.
“Please, Stefan!” She grips the side of her head as the pain magnifies. “There has to be another way—“
“There’s no more time, Bonnie. I’m sorry,” Stefan apologizes.
This is it. Her eyes widen as she realizes that he isn’t going to kill her. Elena would never forgive him. Bonnie's forgiveness meant nothing to him. And in turn, Abby is disposable just as Bonnie’s pain is to everyone else’s.
She quickly forgets about the pain coursing through her as she rushes at Stefan, trying to get past him.
“Stefan, do me instead. Abby—s-she came here because of me. D-d-don’t do this to her.”
But it’s already too late. The abrupt beginning and end of her mother’s scream tells her that her fate has been sealed.
Please…No…no! Stefan moves out of her way. She doesn’t miss the regret written across his features. She doesn’t understand. He got what he wanted—whatever it was. And Abby paid the price.
(Play song “under the table” by BANKS)
When she gets to the room, her heart breaks even more as she sees the culprit. None other than Damon. He’s standing a few feet from Abby’s motionless body. Bonnie wishes it didn’t hurt as much as it did to see Damon there. She wants to scream, but the words are stuck in the back of her throat.. Why did it have to be you? Why is it always you?
She just shakes her head as she dares Damon to look at her. He refuses.
Bonnie kneels down next to her mother. Bonnie cradles Abby in her arms, gently placing Abby’s head on her lap. She brushes the hair out of Abby’s face. Her body is so cold. She’s dead. Wait…Blood circles the lines around Abby’s mouth. Vampire blood.
She gently shakes the body. “Mom?” She asks, her voice tiny and unsure. That’s the first time she’s ever said those words out loud. It figures that it would happen when she’s about to lose her. Again. “Mom?” She repeats. She knows that Abby will be out for a while. But, she holds out hope that this is all just some sick joke. It never is, is it?
In her shock, Bonnie doesn’t notice the magic surging through her blood. That tingling sensation…her magic was back. Not for the first time that Bonnie wishes her magic could reverse time. Witches are supposed to be one of the most powerful supernatural creatures. Yet, existing as a witch causes a distinctive pain only known by other witches. Their greatest greatest weakness is being in service to others and never to themselves.
For all things to be balanced, one must lose in order to gain. If that's true, why is she the one who's always losing? And no one around her gives a damn what it costs her every single time. They don't even notice because that's just what they expect of her.
Damon clears his throat, trying to gather the courage to speak. Bonnie’s head turns slightly at the sound of his voice. Damon stares above Bonnie’s head, refusing to meet her accusing eyes. He swallows the suffocating lump in his throat.
“She’s alive. Just in transition,” he mutters. His voice is devoid of emotions. He can’t think about what he’s done right now. He can’t regret it right now because he needs to get Bonnie out of here.
In transition. For a witch, this is a death sentence. Even though she understands that Abby is “alive,” she just needs to hold onto Abby for one more moment. Deep down, Bonnie knows that Abby won’t complete the transition. Not even for her daughter.
Despite Damon’s best efforts, he knew that he killed Bonnie’s mom. He can’t fool himself into believing otherwise. Bonnie’s mom is dead because of him. All he did was give them more time to say goodbye.
Bonnie talked to him once about what happens to witches in transition. They lose their magic and connection to nature. And Damon sees the hope vanish in Bonnie’s eyes once she realizes this fact too. Abby is dead either way.
He closes his eyes as he hears Bonnie’s broken scream echo around the house. All he wants is do is hold her. But, he can’t. He’s the reason for her pain.
For a while, Bonnie forgets that the two vampires are in the room with her. All she can feel is Abby’s cold hand. While Bonnie had adjusted to her new life with vampires, Abby hadn’t.
Abby was content masquerading as human for so long without a thought to the supernatural world or the daughter she left behind. So, there’s no point in wasting time thinking that Abby would rather live as the creature that she abhorred for so long.
The most consistent thought running through Bonnie’s head is that it should have been her. She’s the one who brought Abby back. It should have been me. I should bear the consequences.
“I’m s—so sorry…m-mom,” she chokes out quietly.
Stefan watches the scene with a heavy heart. Hesitantly, he speaks up. He puts a hand on her shoulder. “We have to go.”
She shrugs off his touch. She uses her sleeve to wipe at her face. “Then what are you waiting for?” She spits out, venom lacing her words.
Stefan glances at Damon, a worried expression on his face.
“You have to come as well, Bonnie. It’s not safe here.”
Is he serious? Bonnie’s shoulders shake as she bursts into hysterical laughter. She’s on her feet now, walking towards Stefan. “The only danger that I see here are the two of you. I’m not safe as long as you’re around.” She says it so hatefully that Stefan flinches and steps back.
Stefan is nothing but determined to prove himself not to the monster that everyone warned them he was.
“Elijah kidnapped Elena. Rebekah would’ve killed her if we didn’t find a way to stop Esther from channeling you and Abby,” he desperately explains.
Of course, of course. He’s so desperate to be the hero of this story. He’s the hero of Elena’s, but always the villain of hers.
“Bonnie, it was for Elena—“
“I heard you the first time. I don’t care.”
Damon was going to stay silent, but not after hearing that BS. There’s no way that Bonnie would want them to choose Abby—a woman who abandoned her—over Elena who is like a sister to her.
“Since when? Elena’s your best friend—”
“Motus.”
Damon is pushed back against the wall, floating above the ground. Bonnie walks towards him, but she feels like she is outside of her body—helpless to do anything but watch the scene play out in front of her. She can’t stop this Bonnie from making Damon feel just a fraction of the pain that she’s feeling right now. At this point, a part of her doesn’t want this Bonnie to stop.
“Not everything is about her!” She wants her words to be a scream, but it comes out as a strangled sob.
Damon slowly gravitates back to the ground. Immediately, Bonnie watches herself as she pummels his chest with her tiny fists. The frustrated tears return and blur her vision to the point that she doesn’t know who she’s fighting anymore.
“Why can’t you u-understand—“ She gasps. “She won’t do it, ok? She’s not gonna feed.”
And then Bonnie watches as she collapses to the ground on her knees. She holds her head and she needs to hold onto something else—feel something else other than this throbbing ache in her heart.
She feels disappointment because she thought Stefan was her friend—even an older brother. When she saw him enter the house, her first instinct was to feel relief. She felt safe because if Stefan was here, he would always do the right thing. How stupid was she that she thought for a second that he was here for her, to protect her. That was only the first betrayal.
And then there’s Damon…the man who told her just a couple of weeks ago that he had some “not so platonic” feelings towards her. She should’ve known better, right? She should be used to this part by now. Just remember Ben, Luka, and Jeremy. They made her trust them only for them to break her down and leave her with only one feeling: worthlessness.
Laughter and sobbing take their turns with her. She should’ve known. Where there is happiness, pain is never too far behind a Bennett. Why does she keep expecting anything different? How foolish was she to believe that she could matter to anyone, just once in her life? She was a means to an end.
But, Damon…he was supposed to be different. For a while, she trusted him. She told him things that she hadn’t told anyone else. Because she knew that he would understand her in a way that no one else could. Out of everyone, he knew that crushing feeling of being picked last.
If this had to go down the way it did, why did it have to be him? To know that she meant so little to him only added to the heartbreak. He was the one with Abby’s blood on his hands.
Why are you always the one holding the shattered pieces of my heart?
Honestly, she feels guilty for her part in this. In her head, she knows that she’s not responsible. She’s not the one who snapped Abby’s neck. Yet, she feels responsible all the same. She led Abby to this point.
For the first time, she wished that she could flip the switch. Because feeling—knowing—that she played a role in her mother’s death is far heavier than any burden she’s been forced to live with so far.
Damon kneels in front of her, tears falling down his face. He winces each time Bonnie repeats, “it should have been me!” in between her sobs.
Damon wraps his arms around her and pulls her against his chest. Once again, Bonnie feels herself float out of her body. She watches as the fight flees this Bonnie’s body. This Bonnie falls limp against Damon’s chest. Her eyes close and she loses consciousness.
“I’m sorry,” Damon whispers softly—his voice breaking. “I’m sorry.”
***
Damon scoops up Bonnie into his arms, holding her as close to him as he can. He closes his eyes and focuses on Bonnie’s heartbeat. She’s alive, she’s alive, she’s alive.
As Stefan drives to the boarding house, Stefan keeps glancing at Damon through the rear-view mirror. Damon ignores his brother’s sad eyes. He needs to focus on Bonnie. His hands shake. He doesn’t want to let her go. If he lets her go…if he can’t feel her…she’ll vanish.
At the same time, he’s afraid to hold her. Bonnie feels as fragile as a porcelain tea cup. If he holds her too close, she’ll break. But, she might break anyway if he lets go. He’s afraid to find out which one it is.
He keeps replaying what happened in that house. His hand around Abby’s throat, and Bonnie coming around the corner. He’ll never forget how shattered Bonnie looked when she realized that it was him who did the deed. He could pinpoint the moment that Bonnie lost all faith in him.
Usually, he’s not one to sit around and brood like his brother. However, this is different. This is Bonnie. He can’t pretend like seeing her break like that didn’t hurt him. He can’t think about how he’d rather burn to death in the sun than ever hear Bonnie’s wailing. If he thinks about, he’d have to admit what he already knew: he’s in love with Bonnie Bennett.
After tucking Bonnie in under the covers, he sits in the chair beside the bed. He takes her hand and squeezes it. Her beautiful caramel face has dry tear marks across them.
I’m so sorry, Bonnie. I’m sorry that it had to be you—that it’s always you. Most of all, I’m sorry that I had to be the one to break your mother’s neck and your heart. I never meant to do either because I knew both would destroy you. But I did it anyway. What did that say about my type of love? How can I love Bonnie yet hurt her like this? I know how this story ends: my love is poison.
He needs a target—anything or anyone would do. He needs someone to blame. Rage boils through him at the mere thought of stupid Elijah with that dumb ass haircut. This is all his fault! And don’t get him started on Rebekah. That whole family needs a giant stake through their hearts!
Everyone in this town has been living in hell ever since they showed up in Mystic Falls. But, as he stares down at Bonnie, he knows that he can’t run from this as much as he wishes. This isn’t the originals’ fault. Part of it is. No matter which way he looks at it, he made his choice.
He tried so hard to prevent this day from coming. He had to choose between Bonnie and Elena. He chose the latter by default, not by intention. He didn’t kill Bonnie, but the knowledge of Abby’s fate is enough to shatter her anyway. So, he might as well have.
He just couldn’t let Elena die. It wasn’t because he was in love with Elena. He figured that Bonnie would rather let her mom die than lose Elena. Maybe he was wrong. Dammit. I was wrong.
Bonnie and Elena are both alive. What consolation is it to Bonnie? She’s the one who has to find a way to say goodbye. Again. And he couldn’t be by her side to help her through it all.
Reluctantly, he leaves the room. If he stares at her for one more moment, he might be tempted to do something stupid like kill mr.suits. Hell, he may just kill the Original just to distract him from thinking about what will happen once Bonnie wakes up.
Still, his feet remain rooted in front of his bedroom. I’ll just stay for a couple more minutes. Hearing her heart…it calms me. I can’t do something reckless right now. If Bonnie’s dad doesn’t step up to help her through this, I need to be alive to make sure someone does look out for her. Even if she won’t let that person be me.
He just needs to be doing something. He pulls out his phone and dials Blondie’s number. Despite not wanting to hear her shriek and insults, he knows that Bonnie needs Caroline by her side.
He glances back worriedly at his bedroom door before vamp speeding downstairs. As soon as he’s in the living room, Stefan is already handing him a cup of bourbon.
Finally, Stefan breaks the silence. “Caroline and Elena should be here pretty soon, right?”
Damon ignores his question and pours himself another drink. “You might want to be drunk for this segment of the evening, brother.”
“Hmm.” Drinking another glass, Stefan asks the million dollar question: “did we do the right thing?”
He shrugs, trying to dismiss the shake in his hands as he raises the glass to his lips. “Bonnie and Elena are still breathing. They live another day to rip us a new one. So, that’s a win in my book. Bonnie’s mom is in transition. All is well. So, stop moping around and get ready to explain what happened to Barbie and Elena.”
Suddenly, Stefan slams his glass down. “This isn’t a joke, Damon!”
And yep. There goes Damon’s loosely held control for the evening, folks.
(“The devil that I know” by Jacob Banks)
“You think I don’t know that?” He bellows. He doesn’t even realize that he has broken his glass. Angrily, he glares at Stefan.
“And what the hell do you mean by ‘we?’ I’m the one who did the actual deed, remember? So don’t you dare stand there and patronize me. I’m going to be the big bad villain. And you still get to be Saint Stefan at the end of it all. Bravo. Bravo.” He claps in Stefan’s face before Stefan shoves him so hard that Damon’s back hits the bookshelf.
Stefan crosses his arms, his face reddening. “I lost the coin toss, Damon. I was the one who was supposed to do it. I didn’t ask you to do that—why’d you do it—“
“You didn’t have to ask. You never do. You just stand there with a pout on your face. You just exist and I have to put on my hero cape once again so you can be the old Stefan again. Well, you got it! Have a drink! It’s on me.”
In this moment, Damon was furious at Stefan. Stefan didn’t have the right to be whining. He is still the good, noble guy. He scoffs. Yeah right. He loves his brother. But Stefan only got off easy because Damon was there. Stefan just had to tell Bonnie what was going to happen.
As usual, Damon knew Stefan couldn’t carry anymore guilt. So, he did what he always did what he does best: be the bad guy. But, what if he wants to be someone different this time around?
“I saved you,” Damon says quietly. He slides to the ground, resting his head against the bookshelf. He glances upstairs. “And it cost me everything.”
Stefan sits beside Damon. “And I saved you time and time again.” Stefan sighs, his mind drifting to Elena. “And it cost me everything too.”
Damon cracks a smirk, but the tremor in his voice gives him away. “Look at us. What a sad pair we are, huh?”
They were the Salvatore brothers to the very end. They couldn’t live without one another yet their bond caused so much pain to other people and to themselves.
They sit in silence for a while. In classic Damon denial style, he’s convincing himself that it’s all fine. Abby abandoned Bonnie. She’s been back in Bonnie’s life for what—3 seconds? If anything, the Scooby gang were her family. Bonnie didn’t need Abby.
However, this is Bonnie. He remembers the day that Bonnie went to see her mother. He saw the same hope that died in Bonnie’s eyes be alive when she talked about Abby. She tried to hide her excitement, but she adorably failed. He didn’t miss the small smile that flitted across her cupid shaped lips.
When she noticed him looking, the smile vanished. Even though it was just for a second, he felt as though his dead heart was beating again. For a moment, he felt like he was human again.
Damon knew how much Bonnie was hoping that Abby would stay in town. “I want someone to stay for me, you know? Like I’m worth something,” she said. As he thinks about it, he gulps and a tear falls down his face. When was the last time that I cried?
A thousand thoughts race through his head as he tries to figure out how to fix this. Stefan’s hand on his shoulder pulls him from his thoughts.
An understanding look passes across Stefan’s face. “For what it’s worth…I’m sorry for what—who—this is costing you, Damon,” he concedes.
Damon doesn’t respond. His ears pick up. He rolls his eyes. He can hear Caroline and Elena’s yapping outside. This night keeps getting better and better. What’s next? Is Katherine going to pop up again and play her mind games? Been there, done that. Not looking for another round.
Without a word, Damon vamp speeds back to his bedroom.
Surely, Stefan’s frail conscious can handle this part. I don’t care if he can’t. I don’t have the patience to listen to another lecture. I’m kicking myself already. Besides, I’m going to be hearing from Bonnie pretty soon. I need to prepare myself for that. Right now, all I want is to be by Bonnie’s side one last time.
Flashback…
I can almost see her rolling her eyes at me through the door.
“Come on, Bon Bon. I can hear you breathing,” I tease.
She laughs. “That’s just creepy.”
I shrug, a grin on my face. “I’m a vampire. It’s kinda in the definition.”
Finally, Bonnie opens the door. She has her scarf wrapped around her bouncy Afro. It’s been 6 hours since she left and yet, he missed seeing her beautiful afro around town. and…she’s wearing a Stitch pajama onesie. Bonnie crosses her arms when she hears my snicker.
“If you laugh, I won’t hesitate to light you on fire,” she warns though there’s no hint of malice in her words.
“Promise?” He grins.
Bonnie groans and covers her face, but he can see a smile poking out.
“This is just adorable. Who knew? Bonnie Bennett, queen of brain popping, wears the cutest pjs in the world. And I live to tell the tale.”
A blush spreads across her face as she tries to hold in her laugh. But, she fails and starts giggling at my silliness.
“I knew you couldn’t resist me.” I do that stupid eyebrow thing that she secretly loves.
Bonnie rolls her eyes when she sees this. “Shut up.” She leans against the door frame, her arms crossed. “Did you want something?”
“Me? Why do you think so little of me? I just wanted to check on my favorite witch in town.”
“Flattery? Hmmm…That would be so sweet if I wasn’t the only witch around that won’t give you an aneurysm on sight.”
I let out a laugh. Then, I notice the light isn’t as bright in Bonnie’s eyes. I step forward, the humor leaving the atmosphere.
“I wanted to check in with you…after your visit with your mom. I’m sorry that I wasn’t there with you.” All the humor has left my voice.
There it is. That’s the reason for the dimmed light in her eyes. Immediately, I jump to the worst conclusion: Abby decided not to come back. I’m not mad that she didn’t come back to do her witchy woo. I’m upset because I know how much it will hurt Bonnie. It’s not just the magic Abby’s refusing to do. It’s her refusal to come back for her daughter.
Bonnie quickly recovers, flashing me a smirk that does a poor job of hiding the pain in her eyes.“Careful, Damon. I might start to think you actually care.” She doesn’t say it with her usual amount of snark.
“We wouldn’t want that,” I say half-heartedly.
Instinctively, I reach out my hand to grasp hers. I tilt her chin up so she’s looking at me. Tears well up in her eyes.
“What’s wrong?” I ask seriously.
She shakes her head and brushes a curl behind her ear. “It’s fine. I’m fine. Abby’s coming tomorrow morning.”
I frown. Something’s not adding up. “Is papa Bennett here?”
Bonnie laughs bitterly. “Is he ever?”
Good point. “Invite me in.” I can already see the protest forming on her lips. “Please.”
After a second or two, she nods. “Come in.” I know this is a big step for her. She’s trusting me. Honestly, I’m scared. I’ve spent centuries letting people down. I hope she’s not one of them. Carefully, I step into the foyer.
Playfully, Bonnie says, “this doesn’t make us friends.”
I follow behind her as she walks upstairs. Smiling, I quip, “don’t pretend, Bon. I’m like a fever you can’t shake.”
“Uh-huh. More like a disease,” She replies over her shoulder.
And then we’re in her room. She sits on her bed, patting the space beside her. I join her, making sure to keep a friendly distance between us. I’d gladly move closer but…Bonnie has something on her mind. She has the most annoying habit of bottling up her emotions until it ends up with A. an aneurysm and B. An even more painful aneurysm.
She fiddles with a care bear that’s now sitting on her lap. Why is she so adorable? Let me focus on something else. “What’s with the bear?” I ask.
I expected to be greeted with a smile, not a rueful expression on her face. Sadly, she says, “my mom—.” She cuts herself off. Taking a deep breath, she starts again. “Abby…” She corrects. “She gave it to me before she left us. It was her last gift to me. I was 5. This was around the time that Caroline kidnapped Ms.Cuddles. This bear was supposed to replace Ms.Cuddles.”
Bonnie laughs wistfully as she recounts the memory.“Abby promised me that we’d name her together. So, I never named the bear. In my 5 year-old mind, I believed that Abby would come back. I was afraid I’d hurt her feelings if I named the bear without her. Everyone—from Grams to dad—kept trying to get me to let Abby go. They stopped mentioning her around me. She was the taboo subject. Eventually, I stopped asking. When I figured out how to do a locator spell, I tried to find her so badly. Obviously, I couldn’t.”
Almost speaking to herself, Bonnie says, “But, she never came back. And this little guy never got a name.”
Bonnie meets my gaze once again. I grab her hand, intertwining my fingers through hers. Her voice catches as she continues to speak. “She’s coming home, Damon. After 17 years…she’s finally back.”
I’ve never been the guy for feelings. Though, I would always try for Bonnie. “How do you feel about that?”
She shrugs, playing with our hands. She looks down. I tilt her face once more. “Bonnie,” I drawl.
Tears spring to her eyes. I’ve never seen Bonnie cry before. Sure, I know people cry. But, she’s never been vulnerable enough around me to cry before. I wrap my arms around her in that moment. I kiss the top of her head as Bonnie cries on my shoulder.
“I’m supposed to be happy, right? I always thought…I thought she had some amazing reason for why she stayed away so long. No texts, no phone calls, no birthday cards.”
She pauses to catch her breath as it hitches. “But nope! She left because she wanted to be Abby Wilson, not Abby Bennett the witch or my mom. She said that she wanted a fresh start with no baggage. Me, dad, and grams were the baggage she was trying to get rid of.”
Quietly, Bonnie adds, “why was I not enough for her to stay?” Though she doesn’t say it, I can tell that she’s scared that if she lets Abby back in, she’ll just leave again.
Bonnie pulls away to look at me. I wipe the tears from her face, leaving my hand on the side of her cheek. She closes her eyes, leaning closer into my touch. “W-w-what if she leaves again?” She repeats
I lean my forehead against hers. I hear her heartbeat pick up at the close contact. At any other time, I would have teased her.
“If she does, it has nothing to do with you. You, Bonnie Bennett, are an amazing woman. If Abby can’t see that you are enough staying for, then she doesn’t deserve you. Hell, none of us do.”
She opens up her green eyes. She searches my face, sensing my sincerity. She takes in just how close we are. She untangles herself clumsily from me and tucks herself under the covers. She bites her lip as her face reddens.
Without a word, Bonnie lifts the covers. She meets my eyes and tilts her head. I smile and I’m blushing. God…I’ve been alive for centuries. How is this the first time that I’m blushing? Stefan would milk this for all it’s worth if he were here.
(“Feels like this” by Maisie Peters plays during this scene)
I slip beneath the covers, wrapping my arms around Bonnie’s waist. She snuggles in closer to me, leaning her head against my chest. Her breathing evens out.
“W-why did you come here? Really?” She asks hesitantly.
“I wanted to see if you were ok.”
She sucks in her breath. I can tell she’s surprised at that fact. It breaks my heart a little that she thought I didn’t care enough.
I pull her in a little bit closer. I whisper against her ear, “I can be sweet sometimes.”
She chuckles softly. “Sometimes.”
“Don’t tell anyone or I’ll bite you.”
She turns around to face me. Smiling, she says, “you already did that.”
Jokingly, I roll my eyes. “Hey, technically, I was biting Emily. What an ancestor she was. The least she could do after possessing your body is give you some of her magic to defend yourself. Trashy and honestly…just poor manners.” Bonnie bursts into giggles.
I smile at her. Bonnie notices and quirks a brow.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
I shake my head. “Nothing’s wrong. For once. I’m just…I’ve been waiting all night to hear your beautiful laugh again.”
Bonnie’s smile mirrors my own. She blushes once again. “I tend to do that a lot around you.” I brush some loose hair behind her ear.
“I lied. I also came here because I just wanted to see you,” I admit. I hold my breath, nervously awaiting her response to my admission.
“And why would that be?” She says, teasingly. She’s really going to make me say it.
I move closer to her. “I might’ve missed you while you were gone.”
She tilts her head and tsk tsk.
“Ok, I did miss you. So, don’t leave again. Or at least let me come along.”
Softly, she says, “I missed you too.” She furrows her brows. “What’s going on between us, Damon?”
A lazy smile appears on my face. I caress her cheek. “I don’t know,” I admit. “But I’d like to find out. Because I’m having some not so platonic feelings for you.”
Bonnie bites her lip. Hesitantly, she asks, “and how does Elena factor into all this?”
I was hoping that she wouldn’t bring her up. It’s impossible. Bonnie is always thinking about other people and how her actions affects others. That selfless instinct of hers is always getting her into trouble. Not that we deserve it. The sooner she wises up about us, the better for her.
I dread the day that she’ll leave Mystic Falls. Unknowingly, Bonnie has captured a string of hearts around town. She’ll take them all with her when she leaves. Myself, baby Gilbert, and Kol. Of course none of them are competition.
Despite my heart breaking at the very thought of her leaving, I know she’d be much happier away from here. She thinks of herself as just the resident witch. Shamefully, we’ve treated her like that. Out there? She could just be Bonnie. If I was lucky, she’d ask me to come along. I’d meet her wherever she wanted to go. I wouldn’t be a Salvatore. I would just be Damon, the guy who’s falling for Bonnie.
I realize that I forgot to respond to Bonnie’s question. I hope she doesn’t think it was because I was mooning over Elena. That couldn’t be further from the truth. No offense to Elena.
“She’s not.”
“Damon—“
“She’s not, Bonnie. I swear. I care about Elena. But I’m not in love with her,” I say truthfully.
Bonnie frowns. “How do you know?”
I chuckle. “Because she’s not the woman who makes me feel alive. My stomach doesn’t do somersaults around her. She’s not the one who’d I want to spend all day with just talking about anything. She’s not the one who makes an undead creature like me blush… and feel human again. She’s not you, Bonnie.”
Bonnie sucks in her breath sharply. I could tell she wasn’t expecting that.
“D—does Elena feel anything for you?”
“She’s with my brother.”
“That wasn’t my question. What does she feel for you?”
“That doesn’t matter—“
“It matters to me,” she insists with such ferocity. “She’s like a sister to me. If she wants—“
“What do you want, Bonnie?”
The next words that fall from her lips are spoken so softly. If it weren’t for my vamp hearing, I wouldn’t have caught it. “You.”
I quirk an eyebrow at her. Her eyes flit back and forth between my lips and eyes. I glance at her own lips. Breathlessly, I say, “then what are you waiting for?”
She moves in closer and presses her lips to mine. Before I can pull her closer, she pulls away. She looks shocked at what she just did. Then, she looks back up at me.
A relaxed smile finds her face once more. She leans in again, more confidently, and presses her lips to mine.
I wrap my arms around her waist to be closer. Our kiss turns passionate slowly. She wraps her arms around my neck, her fingers running over my back. Bonnie opens her mouth to mine and my tongue brushes up against hers. I want to commit this moment to memory. I don’t ever want to forget how happy we both feel in this moment.
I place another chaste kiss on her lips. Eventually, we both pull away. Bonnie is breathless. I smirk, taking pride in my skills. I still got it.
I cup her face and kiss the tip of her nose. She giggles.
“Call me old school…but maybe we could go out for dinner sometime,” I say quickly.
“Damon Salvatore, are you asking me out on a date?” Bonnie teases.
I swallow my pride. “Will you go out with me?”
Bonnie pretends to think it over. “Yes,” she relents. “Hopefully, all this—,“ she gestures to the outside drama, “can be over soon. Then, we can have that date. Look on the bright side…you have all this time to plan.”
I grin at the thought, already anticipating planning ways to make this special for her. “Maybe we could go to Paris, London, Abuja, Cape town, the Caribbean…”
Before I know it, Bonnie has fallen asleep. She’s mumbling words. Out of the incoherent mess, I make out the words, “Damon…love…happy.”
I smile and kiss her forehead. I close my eyes. For once in my life, my undead heart doesn't feel as heavy. I’m right where I’m supposed to be. Right beside her.