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The mud is so heavy and dense beneath my feet, I feel as though I am chained to the ground itself.
Bloodied flesh and musket pellets fly past my ears as I run toward what is sure to be my end.
All I see is her.
Cannon smoke so black and thick, my burning eyes canna see more than a foot in front of me.
Yet I know death is all around me.
The desperate, final, agonising wails, drawn-out screams and pleas for mercy of my kinsmen are deafening.
But all I hear is her shuddering, broken goodbye.
The rage inside me, driving me forward is not for the men who are here to kill me, for the king that sent them, or for the fool that is our Bonny Prince.
No, my rage, my all-consuming indignation is reserved for the Lord almighty.
A God that would allow such devastation to occur tae a people so loyal, faithful and true.
That would steal my chance at happiness away. Rip another bairn from my arms.
Why does He tease me? Why have I been so cursed?
Why does He refuse to allow me tae see my children grow?
Tae dangle such joy before me, allowing me a glimmer of hope, then snatch it all away just as it’s within my grasp.
Seeking reprieve from the chaos, I close my eyes for the briefest of moments.
I see my Faith, laying at her mother’s breast, a shock of red hair and the bluest of blue eyes.
I only have her for a moment, before she is ripped away again by a shimmering light flashing before me.
A sword above my head, seconds from impact.
I react immediately, darting my blade deep into the belly of the man who stands before me.
Through the handle of my weapon, I feel it carve through his flesh, collide with his hip bone, demolishing his bowels.
He lays before me dying. His life, family and dreams slipping away as his blood soaks into the ground. I have claimed it, but I feel nothing.
My soul is gone, it left with her, travelled through the stones when she did. I am but an empty vessel.
Everything I care for is gone.
I surrender my body.
Please, Lord, take me now.
Let this end.
May my bones turn tae dust and be one with this land.
In death, I may see them again.