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He can't breathe, or see, or really even move. It all keeps writhing and pulsing around him, like a heartbeat ringing in his ears. It's useless to try and dig his way out, and it feels more and more like he's gonna just pop!
He was screaming when he got dragged into the squirming mass of guts and skin that was (is?) Tetsuo, but he stopped pretty quickly when he realized it'd get in his mouth if he didn't close it. He’s not sure he could even make a noise now. He’s being crushed, he can feel it in his ribs.
So why can he still hear screaming?
It's everywhere, all around him. Awful, indescribable wailing.
And then it slowly starts to sound like words. Well, a word.
"KANEDAAA!"
It makes his heart race and his eyes go wide. And then it hits him, he can see again .
Wherever he is, 'cus it's sure not a room, it's all white. So white that it hurts to look at. And endless, too. He's standing on some sort of floor, obviously, but it's impossible to tell where it starts and where it ends.
It just sprawls out all around him. The only other speck in all the whiteness is Tetsuo, lying on the ground like he was trying to drag himself forwards, blood streaked behind him.
"KANEDA," Tetsuo shrieks again, so loud that it rings in Kaneda's ears, "HELP!"
And he isn't ready to forgive Tetsuo for killing Yamagata, but he figures they're at least even as far as it goes for trying to kill each other. Most of all, deep, deep down, he still cares about Tetsuo.
He's always stood up for him and took care of him when he couldn't do it himself. Maybe that's why Tetsuo hates him so much. Maybe he didn't realize that Kaneda did it because they were friends, not because he thought he was weak or anything.
So, he takes off running, trying to get to Tetsuo as fast as he can.
But it's strange, he ends up by Tetsuo's side in just a couple seconds, like the time it took to run to him was cut away in the blink of an eye. Everything about this place doesn't seem to make sense, but that's the least of his problems right now.
Tetsuo reaches out for him and his arm shakes uncontrollably. It's the one he lost, the one that ended up with a life of its own, and Kaneda almost backs away. He can't do that, not to Tetsuo, not right now, so he sits down next to him. What’s the worst that could happen, anyway? He’s already dying, somewhere far away from here. And it doesn’t hurt anymore, now that he’s here.
"Kaneda," Tetsuo's voice sounds raspy and when he looks up, there's tears running down his cheeks, "I'm… I'm dying… Help , please…"
He grabs onto Kaneda's shirt, pulling on it like it's the only thing keeping him from drowning. And he keeps trying to crawl closer, straining so hard that Kaneda's half worried the veins in his forehead are gonna burst. There’s already blood in his eyes, so much that you can hardly see the white of them.
Kaneda almost doesn't know what to do. He almost hesitates, almost as second thoughts.
But, fuck it. Tetsuo is still his friend, even after all the awful things he’s done. So, he scoots closer. That way Tetsuo won't have to try so hard to move. And when he starts trying to drag his way into Kaneda's lap, he helps lift Tetsuo up, cradling his head, trying to make him more comfortable.
Tetsuo is as white as a sheet. Like he's some kid's scribble that ended up on the white walls of this weird place. He's shaking, too, sobbing with his full body. Just like when they were kids and Kaneda would pretend he couldn’t hear it from the other side of their bedroom in the group home.
He's warm. Really, really warm. And his hair is damp with sweat when Kaneda tries to smooth it down.
"I'm dying," Tetsuo wails, and his eyes look so blank, like he might already be gone.
"I know," Kaneda whispers.
"I don't wanna die, Kaneda."
"I know, I know."
"Help me," he grabs a fist full of Kaneda’s shirt again , yanking him down until he’s folded over Tetsuo like some kinda shield, like that’d be enough to save him, "You have to help meee."
Kaneda just covers Tetsuo's hand with his own, the one that isn't holding Tetsuo up, "I'm here, I'm right here. I’m always with you, remember?"
That seems to make Tetsuo settle down a bit. His breathing is still shallow and jumpy, but he isn't screaming anymore. And his eyes keep fluttering open and shut, kind of rolled back into his head. There’s blood dripping from his nose, from the corners of his mouth.
It's hard to hate him when he's like this, and maybe Kaneda never did hate him. Not really.
"Where are we?" Kaneda says softly, trying to keep him from slipping away, 'cus if he goes to sleep, he might not come back.
Tetsuo furrows his brows with his mouth open just a little, like he's not sure. And then his face twists again, back into a look of agony. He cries out, tears pooling in his eyes.
"Shh, shhh, it's okay."
"Kanedaaa, you have to help me ," Tetsuo claws out kind of aimlessly, and Kaneda just holds onto him a bit tighter.
"It hurtsss…"
"It's gonna be over soon," Kaneda hopes that Kei and Kai can handle whatever's happening back in the real world, so it'll be true.
They’re gonna have to kill him. But maybe it’ll be better than this, better than staying the absolutely terrified kid in his arms.
"Promise?"
"I promise,” Kaneda rests his palm against Tetsuo’s cheek, so hot it almost burns, “You know you can trust me, yeah? When have I ever lied to you?"
And Tetsuo gets ripped away from him, the room that wasn't really a room folds in on itself, back to the squirming flesh squeezing the life out of him.
He's pretty sure he's about to die too when something pulls him out of it. He's wrapped in light and he can breathe again and he gets the strange feeling that it's Akira picking him out of what's left of Tetsuo.
Kaneda blinks and finds himself back in a schoolyard, years and years ago. He'd recognize it in a heartbeat, though. Just the same as he recognizes the dirty little kid crying by the water fountain. The memory is sun-faded and hazy around the edges, but he’d know Tetsuo anywhere.
He wants to go do something. To make sure that none of this ever happens to that little kid, but something tells him he just needs to watch. That someone needs to see this. That someone needs to be here.
Tetsuo won't be alone. Akira won't be alone either.