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In the event of an emergency, which is a very likely one if you live with somebody like his boyfriend, Tsukishima of all people knows how to keep his cool and deal with whatever’s happening. He’s not one to panic in adversities, to say the least.
Though right now, he can’t really think, or try to calm himself, because he’s just walked into the kitchen and Tetsurou’s pants are on fire.
Tetsurou’s pants are on fire.
‘Oh my God.’ Tsukishima manages to breathe between Tetsurou’s continual screeching. Tsukishima did know that Tetsurou was capable of screaming in a pitch this high but still seemed slightly intrigued.
‘What on earth were you thinking?’ he says, and realises that Kuroo doesn’t really think. ‘Anyway. I already told you to not cook in my absence. Oh my God, Kuroo, you’re literally like- stop screaming you’re not going to die-’ says Tsukishima, his voice lowering progressively, and escalating suddenly at the end. Though Tetsurou could hear nothing but his own screaming, Tsukishima’s voice cut through and he did not know that Tsukishima was capable of speaking in a voice this loud.
Tsukishima continues to throw glasses of water on Tetsurou while patting him in places where the flames dared to exist every now and then.
Tetsurou finally yells into Tsukishima’s face, as if concluding his screaming ordeal. Too scared to look down himself, he asks, ‘Am I still on fire? Please tell me I’m not on fire, Tsukki, I am going to die.’
Tsukishima rises from under Tetsurou and places his towel on his shoulder, suddenly remembering that he’s got to shower. He walks up to the kitchen sink and places the glass there, then turns around to look at Tetsurou, pushes his glasses up his nose, and tells him, ‘You are not. On fire,’ as if absorbing this early morning incident himself, but it is difficult for him to comprehend. ‘Don’t ever try to cook or even go anywhere near a fire, like, ever.’ He turns off the stove.
Tetsurou holds up both his hands in the air as if he’d just surrendered to Tsukishima. And he had. Of course he was going to listen to whatever Tsukki tells him. Oh how he loved his bracelet-and-strawberry-milkshake-making-fire-fighting Tsukki. He smiles to himself.
‘Oh, also,’ Tsukishima calls out from in front of the bathroom, as he takes his shirt off, ‘The fire got through your underwear so both of your buttcheeks are out in the open. They’re quite red, go put some ice on your ass,’ he says and disappears into the steam of the shower.