Work Text:
Xiangling stirs when she feels pressure around her waist; the warmth a welcome touch, but still foreign nonetheless.
She knows that Lumine is home now, and snuggles deeper into her arms.
Sleep prods at the edge of her mind, begging her to return, but she pulls herself awake, Lumine’s deep breaths against her neck being a strange yet comforting feeling. Maybe she’ll stay awake for a little bit more. She wants to burn this moment into the deepest parts of her mind.
Liyue Harbor slumbers quietly, the stars visible from their translucent windows. It shimmers brightly, and when Xiangling turns to the other side, she finds Lumine to be a better view under the night sky.
Archons, she can’t describe the longing that blooms and ebbs from her chest.
Lumine’s arms, toned and rough, Xiangling blinks at the afterthought, feels much softer on her, as if the blonde were handling delicate glass without her knowing. The ring on Lumine’s finger rests coldly against her midriff, palm between her raised shirt and skin.
Flashes of their marriage run through her mind’s eye, white and gold bright and fits against the swaying grass and the glint of the ocean. It was arguably the best day she’s ever had: their friends and family jovially partaking in such a fantastic day, Teyvat’s finest alcohol and food piling among the laughter taken on their Kameras. Lumine shines the brightest in Xiangling’s memory though, an ever-present grin on a day that they’ve mutually arranged.
Though she knows Lumine would rather spend such an imperishable moment with someone else.
Their marriage was merely a contract, an agreement between friends. It was one they thought would benefit, Lumine insisting on helping Xiangling’s reputation boost with her name alone.
At the time, it seemed like a great idea, one that was received and executed with reluctance on her end. They were dear friends after all, and she'd hate to use Lumine for anything that would pertain to business. Xiangling eventually gives in to Lumine's gentle assurance because of the trust they've built, having been together through thick and thin. They’ve fought side by side in a war they’ve thought would never end, solidifying their bond as comrades.
She catches herself tracing Lumine's jaw, feather-light as to not wake her up. The words echo in her ears.
Comrades, friends.
Xiangling began to loathe those words.
When did this all start?
Was it on the night of their marriage, consummation a must but instead they’ve spent it talking about the stars? Was it the first time Lumine had hugged her, lifting her up into the air when they’ve taken victory against a taxing opponent? Was it the first time they’ve met, when Xiangling had pulled down a rather strange yet ethereal traveler down to her side and into her life?
Xiangling doesn’t know.
But what she does know, is that whenever Lumine compliments her aside from the dishes she makes, there’s a certain fondness that makes Xiangling’s ever still and perfect fingers tremble.
(“I like your hair,” Lumine mutters one morning, combing her fingers through Xiangling’s usually braided tresses. It’s soft and gentle and Xiangling can’t help but lean into her touch like a stray longing for affection. "It's cuter when you have you have it down."
“You think so?”
She feels shy under Lumine’s gaze. It’s unreadable, but if there’s one thing she can discern, it’s the slight crinkle of golden eyes when the blonde finds something fascinating.
Lumine grins wider, both hands squishing her now warm cheeks. “I know so. You’re pretty like this.”
Xiangling’s heart drops to her stomach, and in that moment she falls. She falls hard.)
She wishes she’s never met the blonde sometimes, Beidou’s warning an ever-present reminder of why she shouldn’t want someone she could never truly have.
It was a surprise when the pirate captain gently pulled her to the side during the reception, a worried look on her uncovered eye. It’s a strange sight to see, especially when Beidou is known for her streaking confidence.
(“You’ll hurt yourself like this.”
“What are you talking about?”
There’s a pause, and Xiangling has never been more confused in all the years she has lived.
Beidou can’t seem to make up her mind, but before the younger girl could even butt in a word, Beidou shakes her head and places her hand against her shoulder.
“Just be careful, okay? When it hurts too much, don’t hesitate to let go.”)
She’s thankful for Beidou’s small advice, she really is. She knows how to let go of the things that pain her, like a hot pan searing against her skin. But in the case where every moment continues to break Xiangling’s heart, she doesn’t know how to.
She knows that Lumine truly longs for another, a girl with a coarse method of flying but captivating against the air. She knows that Lumine will forever be smitten, catching an intensely fond look that runs across her eyes that gives Xiangling the hint that she’s thinking about her.
Amber was her name.
Tough, wild, and passionate, common traits they both share along with their visions. Xiangling knows that if time were on their side, they would’ve been great friends. They’d light Teyvat up in flames, the good kind, one where it sparks such great memories and none of the negatives.
It was untimely that when the chalk prince had nearly ripped Mondstadt in half and left in a breath of white dust, he took the souls of the unfortunate with him.
And Amber, eternally lovely Amber, the sole Outrider of Ordo Favonius who fought valiantly at every tooth and nail, had fallen victim. The fire that runs through Mondstadt has vanished without sparks, a candle with a dying flame. There was no trace of her left behind, just her vibrant red bow stark against a quietly burning kingdom.
Xiangling could still hear Lumine’s devastation, sobs wracking against the ashes, clutching the bow tight. No one could pry it off her fingers.
She knows that sometimes, Lumine wakes up in cold sweat, crying Amber’s name in the dark until she falls asleep out of fatigue. Xiangling never brings it up, instead calmly welcoming her god of the stars in her embrace until dawn.
Xiangling vaguely wonders if Amber could see how much Lumine is still shaken by her passing, even years after such an event. Mondstadt had built itself anew, scars still present, but thriving as it was before. She wonders if Amber knows that Lumine still visits her grave as often as she could, opening wounds that haven’t even healed yet.
Jealousy runs through Xiangling like flames on dry grass. It eats her up whole. It’s unhealthy, she knows that as well as she knows how her dishes would taste at the back of her hand, but she can’t stop it.
Why is it that even when Amber’s long gone, she still has Lumine’s heart all to herself?
“Xiangling?”
Rough and coarse fingertips move slightly against her midriff, giving Xiangling a shiver that runs down her spine. Lumine has stirred herself awake. Maybe all her staring had forced her to leave her dreams.
There’s something about the way Lumine says her name, sleepiness laced across her worried tone, that makes Xiangling just want to close the distance between them.
She can’t, though.
“Yes, my love?” Xiangling replies cheekily, mischief tracing the almost blatant truth. Lumine doesn’t need to know.
The blonde groans, neat hair ruffled. She loves that about her. She loves everything about her.
Xiangling loves her so, so much.
A finger prods the gap between her brows, and Xiangling realizes that she’s frowning.
“Stop thinking so much,” Lumine has no filter when she’s half-asleep, and Xiangling can’t help but smile. “Is it something you want to talk about?”
Archons, even the bare minimum makes her love her even more.
Xiangling snuggles closer, fitting perfectly under Lumine’s tightening grip. “It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”
She loves and gives so much of herself, knowing that Lumine can never return it in the same gravity. It hurts, ache swelling her already broken heart. It’s unfair, and she curses whatever Archon that subjects her to fall for someone whose heart has been taken by a girl who lights the night sky selflessly.
But this is fine.
“Good night, Xiangling.”
Her breathing evens out again.
“Sweet dreams, Lumi.”
There’s the faint scent of lampgrass against Lumine’s skin, and Xiangling finally falls asleep.