Work Text:
When Queen Luna arrived in the Headmistress' Office, she acted like if it was just a meeting for work reasons, because the relationship they had was a working one. That was what the Queen repeated to herself multiple times before walking out the car that day, they made a deal to preserve Solaria reputation and it wasn't the moment to make the efforts of a life complitely useless. She didn't want to repeat what happened the last time they met, when it was to discuss about Stella's magic process at the end of the term. Or better, she desperately wanted to repeat it but she knew she couldn't.
That's why she's been as discrete as she could when she admired Farah's elegant figure from afar, perfectly shaped by that black dress. Luna tried to not make it visible when she looked at Farah's legs when she walked down the room, right in front of her, while she was making her speech to the students. She tried to act like if she wasn't interested even now, when they were alone in the office, and her gaze went accidentally on the Headmistress' cleavage, which was without a doubt deeper than the usual.
To her, Farah had to be just a woman, the Headmistress in the school where her daughter attended or an old schoolmate, but nothing more. Just a woman, not her lover, not her girlfirend, not her Farah. Not anymore. There was no place for love or any kind of affect between them now.
But Farah wasn't of the same opinion, last time they ended up spending the night together but Luna, again, went away with the same excuses. That's not how you treat the person you love, no matter what your title is. The blonde woman didn't dress up like that to pass unnoticed at the other woman's eyes, she wanted Luna to fall again to show her it wasn't going to make her look weak, love is human and so was she. And if it ended bad again, Farah was going to make her know they could not go on like this, she had to make a decision because Farah alredy made different sacrifices for her.
The Headmistress passed to the Queen a paper to sign, their fingertips touched for less then a second since Luna immediately interrupted the contact, which was probably caused on pupose by the other woman. There was no wall, no shield between them, it was all in Luna's mind which keep telling her to stop every sign of affection by that woman in particular, especially after she failed once.
"There's nobody around us, you can touch."
"That was inappropriate."
Farah uttered a bitter chuckle, she couldn't believe Luna actually said that to her in that moment. After all that happened just a couple of months before, it was just ridiculous.
"Since the first moment we're alone here I feel like you're about to jump on me, this is inappropriate."
"You're the mind fairy, I can't control what you feel."
Luna answered arrogantly, she wasn't even looking at her, she was faking to be focused on those documents, no need to say she was just looking at random words without even knowing what it was about. She thought she's been more discreet, she must admit.
"You don't need magic to solve this tension."
"What tension?"
"You don't feel it anymore? The last time we've been together you didn't even waited for me to close the door before kissing me. What was that? Was I the closest person to you when you were in the mood?"
Saying that, the Headmistress was visibly annoyed. The Queen's behavior was again something different than the time before, she changed depending on what she wanted but after she lost the control last time it was now harder to act like if everything was normal, so like if they weren't much more than strangers. Poetical how after all those years spent as almost unknown people to each other has been destroyed by a single night of emotions and deep desire.
"Stop it, you know it's not why I did that."
"Usually I don't let parents of my students touch me in that way, so if to you I'm just that you're welcomed to not even look at me anymore."
"I made a mistake, ok? I've already told you last time. It's been all my fault, I did it and I know I made a mistake. I don't want any of this."
"How dare you keep saying I've been a mistake for you."
While pronuncing those words in a serious murmur, Farah wasn't even looking at her. She just stood up and walked to her desk with the documents that were already signed. She just wanted to finish that work and tell the Queen to go back at her palace, she couldn't stand that situation anymore. She felt insulted by the woman she loved for all her life, because yes, she loved her for decades even if they barely talked about personal things for most of the times they met. She didn't forget how loving was their relationship when they were together in high school, when Luna wore everyday the engagement ring she gave her even if they both knew there was no future.
Luna got up from the couch and walked near her. She must admit she should have used different words, she didn't want to make her feel bad even if well, that was what she meant. But it's been the only mistake she can't regret, she wanted all of it. From behind, Luna gently rested her hands around Farah's waist, waiting for her to turn to face her. With her head high, Farah didn't turned, just waited for her apologies, she couldn't go on like this, just serving her leisure.
"Farah, please, you know I'd never mean that."
Now with both arms wrapped around Farah's waist, Luna rested her chin on her shoulder, turning her head a bit so that she could look at her profile. They were close in that hug from behind, Farah could feel her breath, she was quite nervous for how the conversation was going. No evident expression on her face as she waited for an answer from the Headmistress, who now didn't know what to say. She knew the Queen well, she knew she didn't want to hurt her, but the possibility of being something she regretted made her feel bad. Luna's opinion counted more than everyone else's, no matter how much Farah didn't want her to have this influence on her.
"No. No, I don't know."
Saying that, Farah slightly turned her body so that she could look in those vivid blue eyes just tilting her head. It was a cold color but it's never been glacial, just a warm blue she loved to admire as if it was the most beautiful of the sea storm during a summer night. It took her a lot to learn how to read what was hidden behind them.
"You know. Farah, I told you I love you."
Their faces were now closer, their nose almost touching while their mind lost in each other's eyes. Farah broke the distance with a kiss, she wanted to see if Luna would have been good with that or tried to resist like she did all day. She told her she loved her, yes, she did more than one time but after all those years the Headmistress didn't know if to believe it or not. The Queen didn't stop her, she didn't have the strength to do so because she craved that moment more than everything else. If only that could be part of her everyday life, she hated herself for not being able to make that happen.
"See, that's what you want, what we both want. We spent years acting like if there was nothing..."
"Because that's the decision we made long time ago."
Farah firmly rested her hands on Luna's, which still were around her.
"No. You made the decision, like you made the decision to start all of this again. This time the last word is mine, I have no intention to let you do what you want without caring for my feelings."
After saying this, she took the Queen's hands, lifting them from her own body so that Luna wasn't hugging her anymore. They were now a step distant but still holding hands, or better, Farah was holding her hands while Luna was just too focused in trying to find an answer to have a physical reaction to that change of position. The only person who ever saw her this weak was Farah, but it wasn't enough, this didn't make her reason.
"Luna, I love you more than I love myself, but do you love me more than you love your reputation?"
Seeing that the Queen wasn't able to find something to say, the Headmistress decided d to ask her a question, the most important question she has ever asked her. She could feel a tear being close to fall in case Luna said no, she expected a no but she wasn't ready for it. Nobody could ever be ready for it. She regretted she asked that question right after it came out of her mouth, but she wanted the truth, no place for excuses this time.
Farah owned the biggest part of Luna's heart, but Luna wasn't a woman who takes decisions with her heart so that meant less than zero. They needed each other more than the oxygen to breath but there was something Luna needed more than that, it was power and respect and she couldn't say what came first even looking into the eyes of the woman who saved her from every sufference. If we don't the sufferences they created themselves with their love, of course.