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Chapter Text

Fake Birth Certificate for Hadrian Severitus Slytherin-Prince:

Chapter Text

[What the ever-loving-]

"Language," Remus said firmly. "What's wrong, Harry?"

[Nothing,] Harry answered sarcastically, shoving the paper in Severus' face. [I'm most certainly not stolen from Darky and S-e-v, covered in blocks, compulsions, and potions, and have a creature inheritance.]

"What?" Remus yelped, as Severus let out a strangled yelp.

"Hadrian..." Severus rasped. "I... I thought... I thought you were dead."

Normally, he would've responded with something like, [I'm too gay to be dead.] But sarcasm wasn't helpful at the moment. Instead, he hugged Severus. The man squeezed him back.

Remus took the paper from Severus. The next moment his jaw dropped. "You're married to Voldemort?"

[What's wrong with H-a-r-r-y's Blood Test?] Silentthorn questioned. Remus finished reading it in record time and handed it back to the goblin.

Silentthorn gave Harry -- Hadrian an alarmed look and set down the test, pulling a green piece of parchment from his desk. [We need to remove those blocks. The potions and compulsions don't work because you have a creature inheritance. Three drops.]

Hadrian wriggled out of Severus' grip and picked up the needle again.

Magical Aura Test of H. S. S.-P.:

Magic: Dark (100% block, A. P. W. B. D.)

Level: 10/10 (40% block, A. P. W. B. D.)

Abilities: Dark magic (100% block, A. P. W. B. D.), Parselmagic (100% block, A. P. W. B. D.), Parselmouth (100% block, A. P. W. B. D.), Necromancy (100% block, A. P. W. B. D.), Dueling (100% block, A. P. W. B. D.)

Creature: Vampire (full)

Mate: Draco Lucius Malfoy (Full Veela)

Compulsions: (A. P. W. B. D.) (ineffective)

    Trust Albus Percival Wolfric Brian Dumbledore

    Trust Ronald Weasley

    Trust Hermione Granger

    Don't trust Slytherins

    Don't trust Voldemort

    Hate Slytherins

    Hate Voldemort

    Keep the Sorcerer's Stone from Voldemort

Potions:

    Praecipitem Elixir

    Love Potion (keyed to Ginny Weasley) (delayed for five years)

Other:

    Horcrux (keyed to Tom Marvolo Slytherin-Prince) (ineffective, cannot be removed)

    Blood Glamour (James Potter with Lily Potter Née Evans' eyes) (applied by A. P. W. B. D.)

Early creature inheritance due to abuse.

Suggest immediate magical purge.

Hadrian blinked. Draco was his mate? That makes so much sense!

Draco's possessiveness, why he was there when Harry woke up in the hospital wing...

"Hadrian?" Severus asked quietly. Hadrian gave him the paper.

[Do werewolves have a problem with vampires?] Hadrian asked Remus.

Remus and Silentthorn gave him a startled looks. "I don't," Remus said finally.

Hadrian relaxed. [Awesome. Do I have to drink human blood? That seems really gross.] He was thinking of Dudley, whose blood was probably super greasy and fatty.

"No," Severus interjected, glowering at the Magical Aura Test. "Human blood is incredibly poisonous to vampires. It is full of drugs and fat. Most of us drink animal blood, or a blood replacement potion."

[Thank f***,] Hadrian declared. [Can I get these f***ing blocks removed?]

"Language!"

---------

Owwwwww, Hadrian groaned, collapsing in the chair again. [If Dumb puts blocks on me again I will set him on fire. That was painful.]

Severus handed him a vial of Soothing Draught, and Hadrian downed it. [Thanks, Mom.]

"Of course I'm 'Mom,'" Severus grumbled, earning a strangled laugh from Remus. Hadrian gave him a s***-eating grin.

Silentthorn cleared his throat. [Is there anything else you need, H-a-d-r-i-a-n?]

[If you're signing, H-a-d's fine,] Hadrian corrected. [I'd like to see my list of properties.]

[You have many,] Silentthorn warned. [And you will have to take your lord- and heirships first.] He pulled out a box and pushed it over to Hadrian.

There were a lot of rings in here. Hadrian sighed and picked up one. Judging by the gaudy golden lion, it was Gryffindor's.

It grew warm, and then suddenly Hadrian was wearing it. He blinked.

[Now tap the ring on this piece of parchment, and it will tell you the properties you own as Lord of Gryffindor,] Silentthorn signed, pushing a yellow piece of paper towards him. [Tap it again to erase it. This only works with your lordships, by the way. Heirs cannot own properties.]

Hadrian nodded and tapped the Gryffindor ring against the paper.

Gryffindor Manor

Gryffindor Cottage

1/4 Hogwarts (Gryffindor tower, Godric's quarters, Quidditch pitch)

Hadrian snorted. Of course Godric Gryffindor owned the Quidditch pitch. He tapped the paper again, and the words vanished.

Silentthorn handed him two more rings. He didn't recognize the black crescent-moon, but the yellow badger was obviously Hufflepuffs.

Just like the Gryffindor ring, both warmed up and slipped onto his fingers. Tapping them on the paper, he read:

Hufflepuff Manor

Hufflepuff Cottage

Hufflepuff Orphanage

1/4 Hogwarts (Hufflepuff dorm, Helga's quarters, kitchens)

Merlin-Pendragon Castle

Merlin-Pendragon Sanctuary

Merlin Library

Merlin Hideaway

[Why does it say M-e-r-l-i-n-P-e-n-d-r-a-g-o-n?] Hadrian asked.

[M-e-r-l-i-n and King A-r-t-h-u-r were married briefly,] Silentthorn answered. [The kingdom never recognized their marriage, and eventually they were forced to get a divorce.]

[Why? Are wizards homophobic?]

[Some,] Silentthorn acknowledged. [Most purebloods and halfbloods are not -- many magical creatures have mates of the same gender.]

I need to look up mates, Hadrian decided. [Can we look at M-e-r-l-i-n library?] he asked Severus excitedly.

"Library?" Remus perked up. "Merlin had a library?"

Severus sighed. "I suppose." He looked interested, though. "After you get your heirships and we buy you a new wardrobe."

[Clothes that fit? Those exist?] Hadrian said sarcastically, before pulling the box towards him again. No one laughed at that joke.

Eight rings soon adorned Hadrian's fingers. He admired them with amusement, realizing he was going to look so annoyingly rich.

[Which vault would you like to withdraw from?] Silentthorn asked, smirking.

[I'm f***ing rich?! No way!]

-----------

Merlin Lord/Lady Vault: 3,000,000,000+ Galleons, 1,000,000,000 + Sickles, 8,000,000 + Knuts (also contains books, jewelry, and unhatched Atlantean Goldclaw dragon clutch)
Merlin Heir Vault: 3,000,000 + Galleons, 3,000,000 + Sickles, 3,000,000 + Knuts (also contains books and jewelry)
     Withdrawals: 3,000 Galleons, 1,000 Sickles, 1,000 Knuts to A. P. W. B. D. (yearly)
     Deposits: 10,000 Galleons, 5,000 Sickles, 5,000 Knuts (yearly) (per contract between Goblin Nation and Emrys Merlin, 1700)

Gryffindor Lord/Lady Vault: 3,000,000 + Galleons, 3,000,000 + Sickles, 3,000,000 + Knuts
Gryffindor Heir Vault: 3,000,000 + Galleons, 3,000,000 + Sickles, 3,000,000 + Knuts
     Withdrawals: 3,000 Galleons, 1,000 Sickles, 1,000 Knuts transferred to Weasley Lord Vault by A. P. W. B. D. (yearly)
     Deposits: 1,000 Galleons, 500 Sickles, 500 Knuts (bi-yearly) (per contract between Goblin Nation and Angelo and Tenebris Gryffindor-Slytherin, 1840)

Hufflepuff Lord/Lady Vault: 3,000,000,000+ Galleons, 1,000,000,000 + Sickles, 8,000,000 + Knuts
Hufflepuff Heir Vault: 3,000,000 + Galleons, 3,000,000 + Sickles, 3,000,000 + Knuts
    Withdrawals: 3,000 Galleons, 1,000 Sickles, 1,000 Knuts transferred to Moody Lord Vault by A. P. W. B. D. (yearly)
    Deposits: 5,000 Galleons, 1,000 Sickles, 1,000 Knuts (yearly) (per contract between Goblin Nation and Helga Hufflepuff, 1830)

Black Heir Vault: 9,000,000 Galleons, 5,000,000 Sickles, 1,000,000 Knuts
     Withdrawals: 3,000 Galleons, 1,000 Sickles, 1,000 Knuts to A. P. W. B. D. (yearly)
     Deposits: 100 Galleons, 50 Sickles, 50 Knuts (bi-yearly) (per contract between Goblin Nation and Solace Black, 1850)

Prince Heir Vault: 3,000,000,000+ Galleons, 1,000,000,000 + Sickles, 8,000,000 + Knuts
     Withdrawals: none
     Deposits: 1,000,000 Galleons, 5,000,000 Sickles, 5,000,000 Knuts (yearly) (per contract between Goblin Nation and Royal Malarias Prince, 1700)

Ravenclaw Heir Vault: 3,000,000 + Galleons, 3,000,000 + Sickles, 3,000,000 + Knuts
     Withdrawals: none since 1900
     Deposits: 5,000 Galleons, 1,000 Sickles, 1,000 Knuts (yearly) (per contract between Goblin Nation and Rowena Ravenclaw, 1830)

Slytherin Heir Vault: 1,000,000 Galleons, 5,000,000 Sickles, 5,000,000 Knuts
     Withdrawals: none since 1900
     Deposits: 10,000 Galleons, 5,000 Sickles, 5,000 Knuts (yearly) (per contract between Goblin Nation and Angelo and Tenebris Gryffindor-Slytherin, 1840)

Gaunt Heir Vault: empty
     Withdrawals: none since 1900
     Deposits: none (Goblin Nation has no more contract with Gaunts)

Harry Potter Trust Vault: 1,850 Galleons, 920 Sickles, 930 Knuts
     Withdrawals: 150 Galleons, 80 Sickles, 70 Knuts to H. S. S.-P.
     Deposits: none

Chapter Text

"Harrykins!"

Hadrian found himself wrapped in the arms of Fred and George. He snorted and hugged them back, nodding to Percy, who looked amused.

"Fred, George, let the poor thing go!" their mother exclaimed. Hadrian squeezed them tighter, glaring at her.

The twins grinned. "Harry doesn't-"

"-seem to mind-"

"-Mother dearest."

Severus snorted as he and Remus walked up, Remus carrying a sack with an Undetectable Extension Charm on it, containing Harry's new wardrobe.

"Why are you hugging the slimy snake?" Weasley sneered. Severus growled, and Weasley blanched.

"Ronald!" Percy and his parents exclaimed.

"Apologize this instant," Mr. Weasley ordered.

"Sorry," Weasley muttered.

Hadrian released the twins to sign, [Snakes aren't slimy, you ignoramus.]

Fred and George burst out laughing and fell dramatically to the ground. Remus looked like he wanted to do the same, but not in public. Severus just curled his lip the way he usually did when he was amused.

"What did he say?" Weasley frowned.

"He said snakes aren't slimy," Percy said stiffly, hiding his own mirth. "Mother, is it all right if Fred, George and I go with Harry?"

"Can I go too?" the daughter, whose name Hadrian guessed was Ginny, asked, fluttering her eyelashes at Hadrian -- or attempting to. She looked more like she was having a stroke.

[Oh h*** no,] Hadrian signed indignantly. [Gay!]

Fred and George laughed harder.

[Get up, you doofuses,] Hadrian ordered, kicking Fred lightly. The twins, still snickering, got to their feet.

[If you're gay, little H-a-r-r-i-k-i-n-s,] Fred signed, his expression innocent, [are you taken, or may I have you?]

Remus choked, and Severus rolled his eyes.

[I'm afraid I'm taken, and I consider you a brother,] Hadrian signed dramatically. [You're not going to try to claim me, too, are you, F-o-r-g-e?]

George smirked. [He's bisexual and prefers boys, I'm bisexual and prefer girls.]

Of course they are, Hadrian thought. [Well, the Slytherins have an LGBTQ+ club called Too Gay For This, and their mascot is a rainbow serpent.]

[We're totally in,] the twins signed, grinning evilly.

"The demon brats can come as long as Mr. Percy Weasley joins us as well," Severus drawled. "I already have to deal with a previous Marauder and Mr. Potter."

Fred and George gasped. "You're a Marauder!" they cried.

Remus blinked, then frowned shrewdly. "You found the map," he guessed.

"Filch had it," said Fred.

"It was just sitting there, begging to be used," said George innocently. Remus snorted.

Percy joined them and the six of them left.

"Which one are you?" Fred asked.

"Moony," Remus answered.

"Who are the Marauders?" Percy questioned.

"A group of mischief-makers -- or bullies," Severus snorted. The twins' eyes widened. "Other than Lupin."

Remus winced. "They were children."

"Then why didn't the teachers do anything?" Severus sneered.

"Because James, S-Sirius, and Peter were good at hiding their pranks," Remus said resignedly, his expression slightly pained.

Fred and George gasped. "Harrykins is a Junior Marauder?"

[Bow before me, peasants,] Hadrian declared, earning snorts from Remus and Percy.

The twins did, indeed, bow, and Severus groaned. "Do not encourage him!"

[Too late!]

They finished buying their school things -- and met Oliver, who immediately snogged Percy, seeing as his mother and youngest siblings were absent -- and went to meet the rest of the Weasleys at Flourish and Blotts.

Severus scowled when they saw how much of a line there was. "I forgot about Lockhart," he muttered.

[Who?] Hadrian questioned as Percy sighed, Oliver rolled his eyes, and the twins snorted. Remus looked irritated.

"Gilderoy Lockhart, your new Defense teacher," Severus said sourly. "He's signing autographs today."

"Dumbledore is mad," Remus said in alarm. "That man knows nothing, he'll put my cub in danger."

Percy started, and the twins grinned. "Do you have-"

"-a monthly furry problem-"

"-Mr. Lupin?"

"Go fish," Remus deadpanned. The twins and Oliver burst out laughing while Percy looked confused. "It's a reference to a Muggle game," Remus explained.

"Let's get this over with," Severus grumbled, looking amused and annoyed at the same time. They entered the bookstore, joining Mr. and Mrs. Weasley in line -- all of Lockhart's books were on the list.

There was also a reporter and a photographer, who was bouncing around, taking as many shots of Lockhart as he could. Fred yelped when the man stood on his foot.

"Out of the way, there," the reporter barked. "This is for the Daily Prophet-"

"You just stepped on my brother's foot," said Percy coldly. "I demand an apology."

"I can take care of myself, Perce," Fred muttered, rubbing his foot.

"It can't be Harry Potter!"

Everyone turned to the blond-and-blue-eyed author, who was rushing forward. Hadrian pulled back between Severus, whose eyes were starting to turn amber, and Remus, whose eyes were starting to turn gold.

Lockhart looked puzzled, then tried to reach for Hadrian.

[Don't touch me,] Hadrian signed angrily, pulling back further.

"My charge told you not to touch him," Severus said icily. "If you lay one hand on him, you will suffer."

Several people gasped.

"You can speak Sign Language?" Lockhart exclaimed gleefully. "How wonderful!" He turned to Hadrian and said in a slightly louder voice, "I just wanted to take a picture with the Boy-Who-Lived!"

"He's not deaf," Remus snapped. He turned his glowing eyes on the reporter and photographer. "If I see any of this in the papers, we will have you sued."

"It's just a picture," Lockhart sputtered.

"It's a picture without his permission," Percy declared. "And you-" he turned angrily to the photographer "-have yet to apologize."

"Why should I apologize to blood traitors?" the photographer sneered.

"How dare you!" a familiar voice cried. Draco Malfoy shoved through the crowd, looking royally indignant, followed by what was obviously his parents, Blaise, his mother, and a few unfamiliar wizards.

"Heir Malfoy!" the photographer yelped. Lockhart beamed and strode forward, but was stopped by some of the unfamiliar wizards with the Malfoys.

"Fred, George, and Percival Weasley are my friends," Draco declared. "That makes them once again proper purebloods. So apologize."

"What?" Ron Weasley cried. "You're friends with him?"

"'Course, Ronnikins," Fred sniffed.

"He's better company than you are," George added.

[Hi, mate,] Hadrian signed, raising an eyebrow. Draco looked startled. [Took a Magical Aura Test.]

[Ah.]

"I apologize for stepping on your foot, Mr. Weasley," the photographer was saying, rather tightly.

The twins snorted. "Apology-"

"-not accepted," Fred finished. The photographer blanched.

Lucius Malfoy sneered at the photographer. Hadrian stifled a cough; Draco and his father were identical with their princely attitude. "Draco, why don't you bring your friends outside? It's far too crowded."

"Yes, Father," Draco said regally. He extended his arm to Hadrian, who took it, blushing. The twins snickered, and he cast them an irritated look.

Blaise, Fred, George, and Percy followed them outside and across the street to Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor.

[How was your summer?] Hadrian signed.

"Mother took me and Draco to France, again," Blaise sighed. "I wanted to go to Greece, but Mother said something about staying closer to London. What about you four?"

"Nothing so extravagant," Percy answered. "I'm assuming Harry asked about summers?" Blaise and Draco nodded. "This summer I-"

"Wrote to Oliver," Fred grinned.

"Wrote to -- guess who -- Oliver," George continued.

"And -- oh -- more letters to Ollie," the twins finished, sniggering. Blaise, Draco, and Hadrian snickered.

Percy blushed and glowered at them. "I also looked for jobs I want to have after school is over. Whereas you spent the entire summer making more pranks."

"We want to open a joke shop when we've graduated," Fred said seriously.

"We have planned out our life after school, Perce," George pointed out.

"It's just much more fun than yours," Fred grinned.

"Oh, shut up," Percy complained mock-irritably.

[Who are the wizards your dad brought?] Hadrian questioned.

Draco blushed a little and Blaise sniggered. "You were going to have to tell them sooner or later," Blaise said dryly. "Your highness," he added.

The three Weasleys' eyes widened. Hadrian gaped at his mate.

Draco sighed. "All right. I'm the crown prince of the Veela," he said resignedly. "A lot of wizards don't know, either because they're creature-haters or because they're too lazy to look it up."

[Why didn't you tell us?] Hadrian asked, feeling a little hurt.

[I wasn't sure how you felt about magical creatures,] Draco replied, looking slightly concerned. "The wizards my father brought are our bodyguards -- Thorfinn Rowle, Quintus Avery, Rachus Crabbe, and Gordon Goyle."

"Aren't those all-" Percy began, frowning a little.

"-ex-Death Eaters?" Draco asked. "Yes, they are." He bit his lip, glancing at Hadrian. "The Dark Lord had an alliance with the Veela kingdom."

[I don't have a problem with that, D-r-a-y,] Hadrian signed. He turned to Fred and George. [DO NOT tell anyone about this, and I mean it! Not even L-e-e!]

Fred and George saluted. Percy frowned in confusion.

[I took my Blood Test,] Hadrian signed, turning back to Draco. [My parents aren't L-i-l-y and J-a-m-e-s. The Dark Lord and S-e-v are.]

Draco and Blaise gaped, and the twins mock fainted (after a shocked pause).

"Would someone please tell me what's going on?" Percy complained.

"No," said Fred.

"Suffer," George answered. Everyone burst out laughing.

Chapter Text

Hadrian's morning reading was interrupted by Severus' cursing and Remus' furious growling. He put down his book and went into the kitchen.

[What's up?] he asked. They were both glaring at the newspaper, his mother's eyes turning red and his pseudo uncle's eyes glowing golden.

"Skeeter," Severus said darkly.

[Who?]

"She writes articles for the Daily Prophet," Remus said stiffly. "They usually have at least a note of truth in them while everything else is rubbish, but-" He swallowed tightly and handed Hadrian the paper, scowling. "Well, read for yourself."

Hadrian took the paper, then growled when he saw the title.

Boy-Who-Lived Mute!

Skeeter had somehow gotten ahold of his Medical History -- the wizard version -- and spilled the entire contents to the world, including the depression, anxiety, and PTSD. She also told them about Granger's mispronunciation of a spell, claiming the girl hadn't meant to harm Hadrian and had instead been attempting to prank him.

She also wrote that he was a Slytherin who had won over the hearts of most of the school in a week. Hadrian rolled his eyes.

[How did she get all this?] Hadrian mused. [I only let you two and Madam Pomfrey see my entire Medical History. I haven't even taken it out otherwise.]

Severus frowned and immediately began pacing. Remus sat down, clenching his fists.

"Invisibility? No, I would have smelled her," he muttered. "Very few people know I am a vampire, so she could not have performed a scent-masking spell-"

"Animagus!" Remus exclaimed. "She's an Animagus!"

[What's that?] Hadrian frowned.

"A wizard who can transform into an animal," Severus explained tightly. "That is certainly a possibility. Her form would have to be very small and quick."

"Like Peter's," Remus muttered painfully.

[What was Uncle W-o-r-m-t-a-i-l's form?] Hadrian asked.

"A small gray rat," Remus answered tiredly.

Hadrian frowned a little. "What?" Severus questioned.

[It's probably nothing,] Hadrian admitted, [but D-r-a-c-o said Black wasn't a Death Eater, and Ron Weasley has a gray rat with a missing toe. The twins were complaining about it.]

Remus' eyes widened with hope and anxiety.

"Could you recognize his scent?" Severus asked Remus.

"Absolutely," Remus answered.

"Seems we're paying the Demons a visit," Severus grumbled. Hadrian snickered.

------------

In the end, Fred and George had to come over themselves. They managed to smuggle Scabbers the rat with them. As soon as they stepped out of the Floo into Severus' home, Remus' eyes widened, and the rat in Fred's hands started squirming in alarm.

"Peter," Remus snarled. The rat squeaked silently, so Hadrian assumed the twins had silenced him.

Severus pointed his wand at the Animagus, and Fred dropped the rat. A moment later, there was a small, balding man standing there. He tried to speak but couldn't.

Remus eyes turned gold and he howled. Hadrian and Severus shoved him back before he could leap on the man, and Fred and George tackled the Animagus.

Ten minutes later, Madam Bones Flooed in and let a shriek of shock and fury at the bound traitor. She immediately took him to the Ministry.

Peter Pettigrew Alive! Sirius Lupin-Black Innocent!

Peter Pettigrew, previously thought to be dead, was discovered in the home of Severus Snape in the guise of a small gray rat. For eleven years, he had been posing as a pet to the Weasleys.

"We only found out when my brother and I snuck little Scabby to Harrikins' new house," says one of the Weasley twins, looking innocent. "We were planning some harmless pranks."

"Remus recognized Peter's Animagus form immediately and Sevvy (Severus Snape) turned him back into a man," says the other.

Apparently, Sirius Lupin-Black, Peter Pettigrew, and James Potter decided to become Animagi during their school years to support Remus Lupin-Black for reasons which are not allowed to be published. Sirius Lupin-Black transformed into a grim-hound, James Potter transformed into a buck, and Peter Pettigrew, as previously mentioned, transformed into a small gray rat. They were planning to register after the war, but as the readers well know, tragedy struck. James Potter would never be able to register, and Pettigrew was assumed killed. That, unfortunately, was not what happened.

Sirius Lupin-Black was, originally, the Secret-Keeper, but only for a few days.

"I had the wonderful idea of switching to Peter," Sirius explains bitterly at his trial. "Everyone would assume I was the Secret Keeper, because James and I were like brothers."

Sirius could not have known that Pettigrew was a Death Eater. In the end, it was entirely the fault of You-Know-Who and the real traitor, Peter Pettigrew.

Sirius Lupin-Black was proclaimed innocent by the Ministry, and in apology for eleven years spent in Azkaban, he was compensated with several thousand Galleons -- 1,000 for each year he spent unlawfully. As an unregistered Animagus, he needed only spend one year. The Ministry will also pay for a mind healer.

Beneath the article was a picture of Remus and Sirius hugging, with Hadrian and Severus hanging back, Severus looking incredibly irritated and Hadrian grinning. A description above the picture read, Lupin-Blacks (right) reunite while Sirius Lupin-Black's godson, Harry Potter (left), and Potions Master Severus Snape (far left) watch from afar.

-------------

"Where are we going?" Hadrian made his wand ask as Draco pulled him along after Severus.

"You'll see," Draco replied, giving him an innocent look.

"Will I be subjected to pranks?" Hadrian asked warily. Severus snorted.

"Of course not," Draco said indignantly. "Do you take me for a Weasley twin?"

Hadrian sniggered. "I mean-" Draco silenced him by putting a hand over his mouth. Hadrian licked it, and Draco yelped in disgust, wiping it on his shirt.

"No pranks," Draco promised, glowering at him. "You'll like it," he added.

Hadrian glanced at his mother conformation. He nodded.

They reached the kitchen, and Draco let go of Hadrian's hand briefly and pressed his palm on one of the doors. A moment later, the wall disappeared, revealing a circular stairway leading down into darkness. Severus climbed down first, and Draco grabbed Hadrian's hand again, dragging him after them.

The stairway led to a small room, containing several shelves of (illegal) books, a few pieces of jewelry, a chair, a bed, and-

What the h*** is that? Hadrian thought, staring incredulously at what looked like a small, skinny, ugly humanoid, which was sitting in the chair.

"I know," said the thing in Voldemort's voice dryly. "I don't look quite human."

Severus snorted.

"Hello, Hadrian," Voldemort added quietly.

Hadrian blinked and glanced at Severus. "You told him?" he made his wand say, sounding irritated. "I wanted to show him and see his utterly flabbergasted look."

Voldemort snickered, and Draco choked.

"You're related to your father," Severus muttered irritably, looking half amused. "Yes, I told him."

Hadrian squeezed Draco's hand once before walking over to the thing and hugged it awkwardly. "Hello, Dad. What the h*** are you possessing?"

Voldemort laughed and patted him with a small hand. Hadrian leaned back and grabbed Draco's hand again, dragging him over to the bed to sit.

"It's called a homunculus," Severus explained, rolling his eyes.

"Oh," Hadrian realized. "I heard it's itchy."

"Unbearably," Voldemort agreed, wrinkling his nose. "I plan on staying only a very short time in this body."

"How are you planning to return?" Hadrian questioned.

"~Gathering my Horcruxes and returning them to me,~" Voldemort replied in Parseltongue. Severus shivered and swallowed.

Hadrian smirked at Severus, who glared at him. "~My Magical Aura Test said that my Horcrux couldn't be removed. Why can the rest do that?~" Draco shivered, too, blushing lightly. Hadrian leered playfully at him, and Draco glowered at him, blushing harder.

"~The objects I placed my soul pieces in did not have souls,~" Voldemort replied, looking amused. "~The very small piece inside you combined with your own soul.~"

"~Huh,~" Hadrian mused. "~I should probably research Horcruxes.~"

"~Don't even think about it,~" his parents ordered. Draco stared at Severus.

"~You can speak Parseltongue?~" Hadrian asked his mother, grinning.

"~I gained the ability after your father and I bonded,~" Severus grumbled, blushing. Voldemort smirked.

"Like father, like son," Draco muttered, earning a cackle from Hadrian.

Chapter Text

Lockhart was an utter a**. And a stupid one.

Their first class, he gave them a test about himself, then proceeded to release a cageful of Cornish Pixies on twelve-year-old wizards. Hadrian nearly blew up the classroom.

After that fiasco, Lockhart didn't bring any more creatures into class, instead reenacting his books, which were full of hogwash. Finally, after a few more classes, Hadrian lost his temper and owled Lucius, who was on the school board.

Gilderoy Lockhart was then arrested -- Hadrian had been unaware of the Obliviations -- and replaced with Remus and Sirius, who would substitute on full moon.

Severus was a little exasperated when the twins and Sirius immediately hit it off. Hadrian cackled -- they'd get on like a house on fire (probably literally).

Remus' and Sirius' classes were much more fun, and they actually learned things. Their first class involved a Boggart, and Remus lined them up and told them to try to make their worst fear funny. Blaise turned one of his stepfathers into a giant Pygmy Puff; Neville's great-uncle Algae turned into a bush; Pansy's duck exploded.

When Draco's turn came, the Boggart turned into a dead Hadrian. Draco had to be escorted out of the classroom, because feathers had sprouted from his face and he was wailing.

(He refused to leave Hadrian for weeks after that. Hadrian thought it was adorable.)

This time, Halloween was uneventful -- other than the twins and Peeves having a burst of holiday spirit and setting a bunch of fake giant spiders loose in the castle. They went unpunished only because the teachers had no idea where they'd come from. That, and the spiders didn't harm anyone, exploding into a pile of candy if touched.

By the time Christmas break rolled around, Hadrian realized nothing weird or dangerous had happened, and was immediately suspicious. Wasn't Dumbledore going to set up another test for him?

------------

On Christmas Eve, the twins pulled Hadrian into an abandoned classroom. "Our sister had this, it belongs to Darky," said Fred, handing him a black journal.

Hadrian put it into his bag. [Thanks,] he signed. He frowned a little. [How long have you had it?] he drawled.

The twins grinned wickedly. "Couple months," said George.

"We made friends with him," Fred added, eyes glittering.

[Made friends...?] Hadrian questioned.

"It's a magic diary," Fred explained.

"Contains Darky's sixteen-year-old self," George added.

This must be one of Dad's Horcruxes, Hadrian though. [Thanks,] he said again. [Do I want to know what you talked about?]

"Probably not, my -- er, Hadrian," Fred amended.

Hadrian raised a brow. [What were you about to call me?]

"We told Darky you were our master," George replied.

"Only way he would trust us," Fred added.

"We kinda got used to calling you 'our Lord' in our head," said George.

Hadrian's magic flared in glee, and he groaned. [Great, now I'm a Dark Lord.]

"Magic likes it?" Fred guessed. Hadrian nodded resignedly.

"Can we be your followers?" George asked eagerly.

Hadrian sighed. [Fine, but you're only allowed to call me 'my Lord' when we start going on raids,] he ordered. [Brothers first.]

Fred and George swooped him into a hug. "Brothers first," they agreed.

----------

"Well of course you're a Dark Lord," Blaise snorted, pulling a pale Neville closer. "Your magic is really powerful and Dark. That and you've gained an Inner Circle from almost all four Houses."

[Explain what you mean by 'Inner Circle,] Hadrian deadpanned.

"Draco is royal and has a connection to the Ministry, school board, and Wizengamot," Blaise said, "Neville wants to be a Healer, which you will definitely need, and is a Hufflepuff insider, I'm training to be an assassin like my mother-"

"What!" the twins exclaimed gleefully.

Blaise ignored them. "-and the twins will spy on Gryffindor for you, invent things for you, and punish your enemies."

Fred and George gained wicked smirks.

"You are a lot more devilish than usual," Draco noted.

[I like it,] Hadrian grinned.

"Of course you do," Draco muttered.

[Do... do we need to take Marks?] Neville signed nervously.

[No way in h*** I am burning my family's skin,] Hadrian said indignantly. Neville blushed and smiled. [I have something else.]

"Oooh, what?" the twins chorused.

Hadrian pulled six charm bracelets out of his bag. They each had a scythe charm, and one other charm. He handed them out. [The scythe charm represents your loyalty to me -- Dark Lord T-h-a-n-a-t-o-s -- and the other charm represents you.]

"I love it," Draco declared, beaming at the dragon charm. Blaise smirked at him, fingering his dagger charm -- he had a fondness for ritual daggers. Neville's was a Niffler, and the twins' had Baboons.

"Did you pick a Niffler for Neville because he's cuddly, cute, and soft?" Blaise smirked. Neville turned bright red and glared at him.

[Maybe,] Hadrian said innocently, earning cackles from the twins and a snicker from Draco. Neville glared at him, too, blushing harder. [We're going to discuss my plans, but first, I want to give you code names....]