Work Text:
You will probably never know how much I admire you. You probably don’t even care. After all you are the God of Life. All I do is taking away what you created. Over and over again. How could you even like someone like me? How could you even forgive what I do to your creations? But am I not a necessary evil? Probably not. We never meet anyway. Except for those festivals where people actually praise you for all the good you do and I, again, am just a spectator of your mighty existence. How could I not be left in owe by your silhouette. By the shape of your gorgeous body. By the perfection of your kind smile. Everyone loves you whereas they fear me. I am the end of the journey. I am the end of dreams and hopes. All I do is taking away people you love forever, never letting you a chance to have them again. Maybe you shall meet again in the afterlife. If you are lucky enough for your paths to cross. But I am not the Fates. I am just the Death. And I hate the living realm. There’s nothing for me there. Except cries, insults and anger. I am what they fear the most. I am the End.
Did you know, that when you smile, your face brightens up in a very endearing way? That’s probably why people love you so much. You are so pretty when you are happy. And I have the tingling sensation that you always are happy. I am just watching you from afar since we both were born. I never really had the courage to talk to you. I am way too afraid that you would hate me for who I am and what I do. But I am probably just a coward because you give off the sensation that you would love everyone anyway. Regardless of who they are. Human, animal, fiend, flower, God or Goddess. I am just not brave enough to come to you. Mother says that I should not fear anyone because I am one true God and that my work matters as much as others. But She never really got why you terrify me. Of All the Gods, you are the only one I wouldn’t be able to endure the hate or mockery. I’ve never really knew why what you think of me matters. Probably because, somewhat, we are two faces of the same piece.
I never like the Auspice of Spring… It’s also the beginning of the new cycle and people start to pray you for everything: good harvest, clement weather, health for their close ones. Spring doesn’t really care who they want to pray, he will do his job anyway and both of you are celebrated on this day. What is it like? To be the humans’ favorite?
“What are you thinking about?” Asks the one’s humans call the God of the Sky.
“Sneaking out.”
“Baekhyun… You could at least try to pretend you care about this. Maybe that’s why the other Gods are avoiding you.”
“Maybe I don’t see the point in pretending.”
The Sky lord smiles, pouring some wine in my glass. He’s probably right. My isolation is probably the result of my bad temper and my tendency to reject anyone who comes too close from me. Except him. Actually, I tried to tell Jongdae how noxious I was, but he simply doesn’t care. Worse than that, he likes my company. I don’t why, when or how, however I kind of accepted his presence and that he will never let go of me. I guess it’s what we call friendship? With the time, I became used to having him around. Sometimes he comes with me, sometimes I go with him. It doesn’t really matter. I don’t need to talk with him, he has enough energy to do the talk for both of us and doesn’t feel uncomfortable in the silence. Jongdae raises his glass, still smiling at me. I roll my eyes, offering him a little smirk before to do the same. We drank and ate together. For a time, it was a great moment. The Sky draw to him a lot of other Gods and I tried my best to not embarrass him, and he did not return me the favor as he decided to introduce me to everyone even though I know them. I, too, are one of the Primal Divinities. I am just way more discreet than the others. Maybe they should let me be “shy”. I finally find the perfect moment to abandon the Sky God to go out a bit. It’s not really like I want to see him flirt with the Ocean.
The gardens are quiet. Expected as everyone is inside for the festival. You see? Maybe I just like the loneliness of my cold life after all. I don’t need your light to live my life. Ah… That’s funny, isn’t it? That was without counting on your curiosity, because I can see your thin and tall silhouette approaching. But you are probably not here for me. Maybe you too, want some peace? I am not expecting you to talk to me or even stop at me. I know what I am too you and I understand why you wouldn’t according to me a slight of your precious time. But you did. You came right towards me. Awkwardly silent.
“Hi…” It was harder than what I thought to just say that to you.
“Hey. Why aren’t you in?”
Why do you care? I wish I could just throw this at you. I wish I could just tell you to run. To go away. Because nothing will stop me from taking away from you everything you have.
“I’m not really … comfortable with crowds.”
“Oh…”
And now again, that awkward silence. See? Just go away… I’m making you so uncomfortable.
“But-but it’s also your Festival.”
“Uh?”
No, it’s definitely not my festival. I mean, whatever you think that is, it’s yours. And Spring. And I am none of those. Looking at my genuine confusion, you talked again:
“There’s no life without death. You are the one making every life worth it and precious.”
Why are you blushing now? Sehun, I don’t understand what you are trying to tell me. Also, I’ve never saw it that way… Am I really part of this? Am I subliming your work instead of destroying it? My mouth opens and closes without a single word slipping out of it. What?
“I am grateful for your work. Thank you! We never really have time to talk to each other or maybe you don’t really like me… It’s fine!” Why are you blushing? Why do you seem intimidate? Why are you so nervous when I know how social you can be with the other Gods? “I-I… I just thought I could say thank you to you at least once… But you always seem to be busy or …”
“Sehun…” I’m trying my best to sound calm, but I am way too baffled. “I don’t understand…” Why do you even … “Wait… You have a crush on me!”
“What? No! I-I just wanted to propose to come with you… I know that Jongdae comes sometimes so I was wondering if maybe I-…”
“So… The God of Life is fond of the God of Death… That’s cute…”
“Baekhyun!”
I think, even if I tried really hard, I couldn’t help that chuckle slipping out of my mouth. Oh dear… If I knew… All this time if I knew you had a thing for me… And here we are, talking for the first time in ages and you are the shiest baby I’ve ever seen… You’re even more beautiful now that you are blushing and embarrassed. What can I say? I always had a soft spot for you… My precious Life.
“Yeah… Ok. I’ll pretend I don’t know about your evident crush on me. And yes… You can come with me if you want.”
You softly pinche my arm and I laugh. Maybe I’m happy too. Maybe we’ll be happy.