Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Original Character information:

Name:

James Rayner

Age:

19, birthday September 11th 1999(got blipped) -Karli is 19 as well-

Height:

5’10

Year/Month

August, 2023

Appearance:

green/hazel right eye, white foggy left eye, soft tan skin with scarce freckles, button type nose, pouty lips, dirty blonde fluffy hair, kinda curly

Body type:

pretty skinny, hes homeless and barely eating, multiple scars all over his body from life on the streets, smaller frame

Scars:

a large scar on the left side of his face going from his lip to right above his eyebrow, the scar left him blind in his left eye

Origin story:

Before the blip, James was a successful student while studying biology and chemistry. He didn’t have very many friends as he liked his alone time.

After the blip happened and he came back, he was kicked out of his home as the dorms now housed poorer people. When he was given the option to kick the other people out or to leave himself, he decided to leave. He didn’t want to take someone’s home. So he then lived on the streets in Madripoor. Finding housing was too hard, and the men in the homeless shelters relentlessly bullied him. He kept his distance from others in attempts to keep peace. He found money and some food from trading mats he had made out of plastic bags.

Present day:

Humans are rarely kind so he wasn’t too surprised when he was woken up by people stealing his food. He tried to be quiet but one simple move set off the thiefs. He let out pained cries as they beat down on him. He had curled himself into a ball as they landed blows, just trying to protect his head and his stomach. He did NOT need to die because of internal bleeding.

Surprisingly, he heard a voice barking at the thiefs to leave him alone. In a bit of a haze, he looked up at the savior. He was surprised when his eyes were met with a girl who looked no older than maybe 18. Her hair was a fiery red that framed her face like a curly lion's mane. Did he die? He didn’t even believe in heaven, was this an angel? He really should’ve gone to church more.

Pained grunts fell from his lips as he was helped off of the cold ground. His arm instinctively curled around his stomach, still trying to protect himself. He could barely hear the woman through his ringing ears, so he just looked at her in confusion. He tried his best to read her lips, but then remembered that he was in fact half blind and he was never able to read lips. He wasn’t sure why he even tried.

“I-I’m sorry, ma’am, i can’t understand you..” he apologized, looking away as he coughed. He grimaced at the sight of blood splattering on the back of his hand. Fuck. That wasn’t good.

His vision went blurry just seconds before his body fell, his knees hitting the ground with a thud.

Chapter Text

Karli stared at the unconscious boy that was currently laying on one of their medical cots. He had been stripped and put into a gown by the medics just so they could do a full rundown of his injuries. She wasn’t able to see much other than the obvious. Bruises, jutting bones, pale skin. The boy was obviously homeless, and for a while, when Karli scared the thieves off. How cruel people would be to bully the defenseless.

“How much longer are you going to stare?” a voice came from behind Karli, startling her. She turned around to see Dovich watching her with a soft smile.

“I'm not.. staring. I’m watching. I’m allowed to watch,” she told him, a little defensive. She crossed her arms and sighed softly, walking away from the door and over to the other man.

“Watching, hm? Alright. Well may i ask about the boy you have decided to watch?” Dovich asked, cocking his head to the side as they started to walk away from the medic area.

“I don’t know much about him. All I know is that he was wrongfully being hurt by thieves, and that he needs our help,” she explained, nodding her head to the people that passed. She lifted her head to look at Dovich, who had a curious expression on his face.

“Our help? So this kid could potentially be dangerous, and you decided to bring him in anyway?”

Karli rolled her eyes.

“This “kid” is severely underweight and injured. We are super soldiers. I’m sure if he tried to hurt us, we’d be able to take him.”

Dovich nodded with a shrug, knowing the girl was right. He followed her in silence to the closet that had boxes full of donated clothes. He helped her grab a few boxes so they could build an outfit for the kid. Not knowing what size the boy wore, She grabbed a medium hoodie and sweatpants. Medium is a good starting point, right? Dovich dug through the box of underwear and socks and grabbed a pair of socks and some boxers for him.

“This should do until he's able to get some clothes on his own. C’mon, let’s get them to his room. What did the medics say?” Dovich asked as he helped put the boxes back and carried the stack of clothes.

“They didn’t say much. Just that there was no internal bleeding from what they could tell, and that he needs food and water as soon as possible. Can you take those clothes to him? I assume he’s close to waking up,” she asked him, stuffing her hands in her pockets as they walked down the hall.

“Yea, i got it. You go grab him some food from the cafeteria,” Dovich told her, nodding as he left her at the cafeteria doors.

He walked to the medic rooms and opened the door to the newbie’s room. Oh, he was awake. That's good.

“Hey, kid. Here's some clothes. I hope they fit. They’ll be more comfortable than a gown at least,” he told him with a welcoming smile, setting the clothes on the desk beside him. He watched as the boy looked around in confusion and examined his face. His left eye was cloudy. Blind, maybe?

“Oh.. Thank you. I-If you don’t mind me asking, where the hell am i?” James asked, now staring at the unfamiliar man with a scared expression. His voice was scratchy from lack of water, and his cheeks and eyes were slightly sunken in.

“GRC, or Global Repatriation Council. My name is Dovich, yours?” he asked, holding out his hand for the boy to shake.

James stared at his hand for a moment, before shaking it. His hands were boney and tiny compared to the other man’s. “My name is James.. Rayner. James Rayner,” he told him, tucking his hand back into his lap as he looked around the room.

“Well, I’ll allow you to get dressed. Your savior will be in soon with food and water for you, so be quick,” Dovich told him with a nod and left the room, closing the door behind him.

James slowly got out of the bed and shivered at the cold floor, the temperature seeping through his skin. He pulled the curtain around his cot so he could get dressed in private. Untying the gown, he folded it up and laid it on the cot before slipping the briefs and sweatpants on. They were a little big, so he had to tie them tight around his waist. He slipped the soft hoodie on and then the socks. Just as he was moving the curtain and sitting on the bed, there was a knock at the door.

“Come in..!” he called out, his voice cracking slightly. He grimaced and rubbed his throat as if it would help.

A head popped into the room from behind the door. It was the girl from earlier. His ‘savior’ as Dovich said. She was carrying a tray that consisted of: a roll, some kind of soup, a pack of gummies, and a water bottle. He watched as she set it on the pull out bed desk.

“You’re malnourished, eat up.” Karli spoke, sitting in the chair that was in the room. She watched the boy as he picked up the bowl of soup and cautiously took a sip. “I promise it is not poisoned.”

James flushed red and took another sip. The warm, greasy liquid felt good against his dry throat. He set the bowl down and wiped his mouth, a little embarrassed.

“Dovich called you my savior, are you? the one who saved me?” he asked as he grabbed the bread and took a bite, humming contently at the sweet taste.

Karli scoffed softly at Dovich’s nickname for her. “Yes, I am the one that ‘saved’ you. But please do not call me your savior. My name is Karli, what’s yours?” She asked, tilting her head as she observed the boy.

He cleared his throat a bit before talking. “My name is James. Thank you, Karli,” he spoke sincerely, his expression showing no hint of amusement. He dipped his bread in the soup and ate in the silence that settled over the room, a little uncomfortable. Once he finished most of his food and about half of his water, he turned to face Karli, fruit snacks in hand.

“C’mere..” he beckoned her over. She cocked an eyebrow up, suspicious, but still walked over to the boy and sat down beside him. James gently grabbed her hand and emptied a few of the gummies into her palm, shooting her an innocent smile.

She hesitated but returned the smile anyway, eating the gummies with him. “So, tell me about yourself, James. Were you a blippie or a survivor? What’s your life been like?” she asked, looking at him with a curious expression.

“Well.. before the blip, I was a student studying biology and chemistry for a while. Then I got blipped and obviously came back. They had people living in the dorm where I stayed. I had an option to kick the people out but… I can't just kick people out of their homes. So now I’m homeless and just kinda traveling. Then you found me,” he explained, turning to Karli with a smile when he was done speaking.

Karli examined his face. “What about your scar? Pretty gnarly. Comfortable to talk about what happened?” she asked, though she knew she shouldn’t.

James looked down at his lap for a second, debating on whether or not to tell her. What harm would it do?

“The scar was from an accident with an abusive partner. Got me blind,” he said casually, closing his right eye and waving his hand in front of his left.

Karli stayed quiet for a moment, unreasonable anger bubbling in her when James said it was from a partner. Her expression flashed anger for a split second, but then went back to neutral. “I hope karma got to them..” she muttered, mostly under her breath.

James hummed in agreement and finished off his water bottle, feeling full and content for the first time in a while. He still had many questions, but with a warm meal in his stomach, he was too tired to ask. He looked out the window, being met with the view of a purple dusky sky. He yawned.

“Get some rest, you need it. I’ll get someone to show you around tomorrow..” Karli whispered, nodding to the man before grabbing his tray and walking out of the room.

James heard the door close behind her as he moved to lay down on the cot. He pulled the blanket up to his shoulders, curling up in an attempt to keep the cold out. As the lights went out in his room, he closed his eyes and drifted off.

Chapter Text

chirp chirp chirp

James opened his eyes to the sound of chirping. His eyes locked on the bird that was currently sitting on his window sill, watching it bounce on the faded wood. The bird flew off as he sat up, rubbing the sleepiness off of his face. The sounds of the cars driving past and faint voices flooded into his ears as he drew back the covers. He hung his legs over the edge of the cot, letting himself wake up a bit before placing his socked feet on the cold floor.

He looked around his room, memories of the past day lighting up in his head. ‘Karli, Dovich, GRC’ he thought to himself, gathering all the memories.

His eyes glanced around the room and fell on a small woven basket full of toiletries sitting on the nightstand. A toothbrush, toothpaste, hairbrush, floss, small bottles of body wash, shampoo and conditioner, a rag, and a towel. He grabbed the basket and walked to his door, opening it with a creak. The small sound caught the attention of a woman nearby.

“Uhm.. hello, I need to shower but I’m not sure where to go..” he explained to the woman, who walked over to him.

“You must be James. Im Gigi, Karli told me about you. The bathrooms and showers are right down this hall, second door on the right.”

James thanked Gigi and started walking to the showers, his body aching already. He hasn’t taken an actual shower in forever, he was hoping the water would be warm.

The showers were empty as James walked into the room. He decided to take the one farthest away from the door and stripped down, neatly folding his clothes and placing them on the bench that sat near the actual showers. He turned on the water and hissed softly at the cold hitting his bare skin. Staying out of the way until it warmed up a bit, he grabbed the bottles he would need for his shower and the rag.

The water was lukewarm when he stepped under it. It wasn’t amazing, but it felt better than the cool air of the room. And it soothed his aching muscles enough. He closed the curtain around him and just let the water beat down upon his dirty skin for a moment, washing a bit of the surface dirt away.

He grabbed the shampoo and squirted some into his palm, lathering it in his hands before scrubbing at his scalp. It felt amazing to finally wash his hair with shampoo. It felt so clean. He washed the shampoo out and decided to go another round with it, just to get all the built up dirt out. Once that was washed out, he went in with conditioner, letting it set as he washed his body.

He stepped out of the shower when it started to get too cold, turning off the water. He towel dried his hair a bit, just so it wouldn’t drip down his face, before drying the rest of his body off. He was sure to be careful around his bruised ribs and shoulder. Just as he was tying the towel around his waist, Gigi walked in with a stack of clothes. He felt embarrassment rush over him as she stared at him for a moment, before handing him the stack of clothes.

“I’ll be outside when you’re finished getting ready. I got put in charge of showing you around. I’ll leave some shoes outside the door for you, is a size 10 okay?” Gigi asked, which James answered with a nod. He watched as she walked out, trying to process that she had just walked in like it was nothing.

Was that normal? God he hoped not.

He quickly got dressed and brushed his teeth and hair, watching as his hair curled up a bit. It hasn’t done that in a while. He put all of his toiletries back into the basket and walked out of the showers, sitting down on the bench outside while he slipped on the worn converse that were provided for him.

He saw Gigi walk past and tripped a little as he jogged to catch up with her. He walked beside her in silence, not sure of what to say. He didn’t really know much about the woman but he wasn’t one for starting conversations.

“I’ll show you to the dormitories first, then the cafeteria, training area, school, common room, and the courtyard. There’s a lot of people, so I hope you don’t enjoy silence too much,” Gigi told him, winking playfully. James shot her a small smile, following her down a hall to a staircase.

“It used to be separated by sex, but at this point we just needed rooms. So they’re mixed now. Karli has decided that she wants to keep an eye on you, so you’ll be on the same floor as her. Floor 4, room 203. Most of us are on that floor as well,” Gigi rambled and explained as they walked. James listened intently, confusion flowing into his expression.

“Us? Who is us? Who are you guys?” he asked, stuffing his hands into the hoodie pocket he was given.

“Us is the Flag Smashers. Basically a group of people that are trying to get the world back to the way it was during the blip. When there were no borders and the world came together for the first time. We all had one thing in common, we were survivors of Thanos. That brought the world together, no matter the language, race, sex, or political party. It was amazing.”

James stared at the ground as Gigi spoke, thinking deeply about it. That seemed like a good world. One where everyone worked together.

“That sounds amazing.. maybe the world will go back to that someday..” he said with a soft grin, looking at the woman.

Gigi just smiled lightly back and stopped in front of a wooden door. She opened it to reveal a neat and clean dorm room. It wasn’t huge, but it wasn’t tiny either. It was a good size. It's not like James had many things anyway.

“Here’s your room. Here, you can go ahead and put your toiletries basket in there. By tonight, you should have sheets, blankets, pillows and all that on your bed.”

James nodded and set the basket on one of the shelves before following Gigi to the next destination.

It only took them about 2-3 hours to finish up the tour, with all the questions he had. The kids in the school looked at him as if he was an alien. He knew he was a little… shocking to look at with the scar and stuff. So he didn’t blame them too much.

Now they were on their way to the cafeteria for an early dinner since their tour was over. James felt anxiety fill his chest as he saw how many people were there. He stuffed his hands into his pockets and followed Gigi to pick up a tray.

Today’s menu seemed to consist of beef stew, a roll, cubed potatoes, and green beans. He grabbed a water bottle for a drink and thanked the servers. Gigi made sure that James followed behind her to the table. Karli, Dovich, and DeeDee were already sitting around the table. James tried to ignore the anxiety settling in his gut as he sat down between Karli and Gigi.

“So how was your tour?” Dovich asked, probably noticing the boy’s nervous demeanor.

“Oh, it was good. Got to watch kids decide whether or not to stare at me in curiosity or disgust. Very amusing,” he said, smiling a bit as he took a bite of his stew. He noticed a few of them get uncomfortable and he cocked his head to the side.

“It's okay, you can laugh. I’ve had this thing for long enough. I’m used to the stares and laughs and especially how children act around it. But i mean, it got me money so i can’t complain,” he said with a shrug, earning a laugh from Deedee and Dovich, and a small smile from Karli. The anxiety settled down a bit.

They got to talking about random things, and soon James felt much better. They finished up their food and threw away their trays. Dovich and Gigi decided to go train a bit, and DeeDee stayed back to help in the kitchen and clean up. So James and Karli were left alone to walk back to their rooms.

“So how do you like the GRC?” Karli asked, trying to start a conversation.

“It’s big.. spacious, a lot of people. That's something I'll have to get used to. But Gigi and Dovich are nice. Gigi told me about Flag Smashers. It’s a cool concept. A world without borders. I mean, it won’t be perfect. But the world never WILL be perfect..” he rambled a bit, yawning once he finished.

Karli stared at the boy as he spoke, examining his features. His lightly tanned skin was littered with freckles that dotted his nose and the apples of his cheeks. His long-ish dirty blond hair hung into his eyes and curled up. She should ask him about cutting his hair, if he wanted to of course. Her eyes trailed from his brow bone, to the long black eyelashes that framed his eyes, down the bridge of his nose, to his lips. They fell into a natural pout when he wasn’t talking.

He was pretty.

Very pretty.

“Anyway, I’m positively exhausted, and i'm sure you are as well. I didn’t see you at all today so I assume you were busy,” he shrugged, “goodnight, Karli, sleep well,” he said with a gentle smile, disappearing into his room.

Karli disappeared into her room as well and took a deep breath as she closed the door, leaning back against it. James was right, she Was busy all day and she Was exhausted.

She was setting up FS next move. And she was nervous for this one. Nervous for what she may have to do if the government doesn’t listen. But they only speak one language. And that's violence.

Chapter Text

James awoke with the sound of children giggling. He opened his eyes and looked at his door, just in time to watch the heads of kids disappear behind it. He smiled softly and sat up in his bed, hearing the springs creak.

He took a moment to himself to wake up before he got out of bed, his socked feet making pit pat noises as he walked to his door. He grabbed his toothbrush, toothpaste, and hair brush, walking out of his door and making his way to the bathrooms. He was still tired, but he wanted to explore more, so he needed to wake up.

The bathroom was fairly quiet as he walked through the door, despite the people in there. Everyone else seemed to be exhausted as well.

He took his place at a sink and wet his toothbrush, placing toothpaste on the bristles before popping it in his mouth and brushing. He hummed to himself as he did so, observing himself in the mirror. His hair was a little knotty, hopefully it wouldn’t puff up too much when he brushed it.

He spat the toothpaste foam in the sink and brushed his tongue before washing out his mouth and the sink. Grabbing the hairbrush, he started to run it through his knotted up hair, wincing everytime it snagged. Eventually, he got his hair somewhat under control, but it was frizzy now.

He stared at himself as he thought about how to fix this. He placed down the hairbrush and turned on the faucet, running his hands under the cool water. He ran his wet hands through his frizzy hair, calming it down a bit. Deciding to let it air dry from there, he took his toiletries back to his room and got ready for the day.

Rummaging through the box of clothes that was outside his door, he grabbed a pair of jeans, an ac/dc tshirt, and some underwear and socks. He disappeared into his room as he got dressed. The clothes fit pretty well. The shirt was slightly big but not horribly. He slipped on his socks and shoes before deciding to go to the courtyard. He needed to get friendly with more of the people here.

As he walked into the courtyard, he felt eyes on him. He tried to ignore them, he was used to them by now. He should be. Though he could still feel paranoia settle in his gut at the stares.

He tried to be polite by smiling softly at as many people he could. God, he hasn’t ‘customer service’ smiled at people in forever.

“H-Hello..” spoke a tiny voice. James turned around to see a little girl staring up at him. He crouched down to seem less scary and smiled kindly at her.

“Hello, what’s your name?” he asked, holding out a hand for a handshake. The little girl placed her tiny hand in his, shyly smiling.

“Elliana..! What’s yours?” Elliana asked, looking up at the man. He looked odd, but he gave off comfy vibes. He felt safe.

“My name is James, it is very nice to meet you, Elliana,” he told her, shaking her tiny hand.

He stood up as a woman rushed over to Elliana, as if she had lost her.

“Elli! You can’t just run off like that!” the woman exclaimed, and then apologized to James on behalf of Elliana. He waved the apology off and told her it was perfectly fine.

He watched as the woman ushered the girl away and sighed, waving bye to her with a sad smile. Deciding he didn’t want to feel anymore stares, he decided to wander around inside. Most people seemed to be outside at the moment, probably because it was such a nice day out.

He walked down the hallways, nodding respectfully to every person he passed. Eventually, he came up upon a fairly empty room. It had a few boxes and mats lying around. It was probably an extra room, but it had a piano, and that sparked his interest.

When he was younger, his mother made him take piano lessons. They were from her and his grandmother. His father would argue that it would make him weak, but the man left soon so it's not like it mattered anyway.

He closed his eyes as his fingers grazed over the cool keys. Memories flowed through his brain. He took a deep breath as he sat down. He opened his eyes and looked at all the keys, trying to remember what songs he remembered. Trains, by The Narrative, came to mind almost immediately.

His fingers skittered across the piano keys as he started playing, humming the words since he wasn’t the best singer. His eyebrows furrowed as the song went on. Without the other instruments, it was a bit hard to keep tempo.

After the last note, the room went quiet. He sighed and leaned forward, laying his head on the top of the piano. Playing the piano was bittersweet. Reminded him of good memories, but god how he missed his mother. She was strict sometimes, she wanted James to have a successful life. He let out a short laugh at the memory. She wouldn’t be very proud of him right now.

This isn’t the life she imagined for him. She wanted him to be a successful pianist when he was young. When he went to college early for biochemistry, she wanted him to succeed in that too. Then she died, and James also died for a hot second. Now he was back on earth without her.

He blinked away the tears threatening to escape and tried to cool down his flushed cheeks with his hands. The sound of wood scraping against wood echoed through the room as he pushed the bench back. He should probably eat.

Walking out of the piano room, he walked down the hall towards the cafeteria. When passing by the common room, he heard the news. It talked about an attack from the flag smashers. A building had been blown up, with people inside it.

James felt his stomach twist and he suddenly lost all appetite for food. He escaped from the common room, and walked past the cafeteria on his way to his room. He needed to be alone right now. Needed time and space to breathe.

He slammed his door behind him and locked it as he breathed heavily. He frantically moved over to his bed, clutching his chest. No, not a panic attack. A thin layer of sweat formed on his skin as he heaved. He tugged and pulled all his clothes off until he was left only in his underwear, feeling trapped. His brain was going a million miles a minute.

He tried to rationalize this. The people were probably bad, right? But everyone is bad in some sort of way, not everyone deserves to die! He could feel bile start to rise in his throat and he tried to calm himself down. The last thing he wanted was to throw up.

Soon, he calmed down enough to think. He moved to bundle up in his comforter, since the sweat drying made him cold.

They killed someone. Karli, Gigi, Dovich, and more. The flag smashers killed people. He groaned softly.

Talk about his mother being disappointed in him now. He was friends with… murderers. His stomach turned at the thought. Maybe he could talk with Karli. Ask the reason. Try to calm his brain.

But for now, he was mentally exhausted and physically as well. He decided that a nap would probably be best right now.

He laid down, curled up into a fetal position, and squeezed his eyes closed as he tried to make himself sleep.

After trying for about 30 minutes, he was able to fall asleep.

-

knock knock knock

James flinched awake as he heard the knocks. He sat up as he heard Karli’s voice. “James?” she called from behind the door.

He felt his stomach twist slightly, but he was too mentally exhausted to even think about the whole situation anymore.

Getting out of bed, he walked over to the door and cracked it open. Karli was holding a bag full of food, smelled like chinese takeout. She smiled softly at him.

“Hey, heard from others that no one has seen you in the cafeteria today. Figured you hadn’t eaten, so I got some chinese delivered..” she trailed off, noticing how off James seemed to be. Did he see the news? He most likely did… they needed to talk. “Why don’t you come with me to eat, we can go to the roof. No one will be around, it’ll be quiet?”

James stared at her for a moment and nodded, closing the door. He quickly got dressed back in his clothes and put on his converse before opening his door. He grabbed a blanket for them to sit on and closed his door before walking with Karli up to the roof.

They set up a blanket and placed the takeout boxes on the blanket before sitting down. James bit into the honey chicken and hummed gratefully. God it tasted so good.

Karli watched him with a soft grin, her chest feeling warm as she watched him enjoy the food. Chinese food was always amazing, she couldn’t blame him.

“Is it good?” she asked, snorting when James looked at her with a satisfied look.

James grinned and took a bite of rice, swallowing it before talking. “Thanks for the food. I haven’t had chinese in so long, almost forgot how good it is,” he admitted, taking another bite of chicken. He could eat it until he got sick.

Karli nodded as a thank you and ate some noodles, humming as she did so. They ate in silence for a bit, just listening to the sound of the city below them. Then James spoke up.

“So.. you seemed very busy today, if the news was anything to go by..” he said as nonchalantly as he could, pushing down the tight feeling in his chest.

Karli sighed and put down her food. “So you saw..” James nodded and Karli took a deep breath before speaking, “Violence is all they understand. We know that. We had to. It's the only way they would listen.”

James stared at her as she explained herself. “You know.. you could’ve faked it. Faked deaths. You didn’t have to actually.. kill people,” he told her, taking another bite of chicken before placing it down. He looked over at her, watching the gears turn in her head.

“I didn’t think about it. I wouldn’t know how to fake it and make it seem real. It’s not like those people were amazing,” she tried to defend herself, and James rolled his eyes.

“No one is amazing. You aren’t. I'm not. No one is. Everyone is bad in one way or another. Yes some bad people deserve death or worse, but.. Karli you can’t just KILL people!” he exclaimed, obviously getting a little heated over it. He liked Karli, Dovich, Gigi, all of them. He didn’t want to be friends with murderers. That was terrifying.

Karli stared down at her noodles. She felt like what she was doing… it wasn’t right but it was necessary. “You have to understand that I did what I thought was necessary, okay? I didn’t do it because I wanted to, I did it because I had to.”

James stared at her for a moment. He understood that, he did! He just wishes she didn’t HAVE to kill people. “Just.. try to avoid it, please? If you need to hurt someone to save yourself or the others, that’s different but please..” he whispered.

Karli looked at him and nodded silently. They ate a bit more before cleaning up and going back to their rooms.

“I’m glad you’re safe, ya know? I am. Just use your brain before you decide to murder people next time, alright?” he told her, bumping her shoulder with his.

Karli smiled softly and nodded, rolling her eyes. They told each other goodnight before going into their rooms.

Chapter Text

Don't act like you don’t deserve this. Don’t make me feel bad for this. Stop! Stop crying! Stop it-

James stared into the void of his room as he panted heavily, sweat pouring down his chest and back. He pushed the blankets off of him and held his head in his hands, shivering as he tried to bite back the cries. As the first sound started to escape his lips, he covered his mouth and started to silently cry. Tears poured down his heated cheeks as he sobbed, trying his best to muffle his voice.

Why? Why did he deserve it? That's all he could ever ask himself after that relationship. After that, he didn’t even step close to flirting with other people. Not when it could end up like that again.

He harshly wiped his tears away and got out of bed, almost mad at himself for the nightmare. As if he had a choice.

Pulling on a loose hoodie over his drying sticky skin, he grabbed his phone and earbuds(Gigi had given them to him as a gift). He opened his door as quietly as possible and started to make his way to the common room. He couldn’t be in his room anymore.

The common room was silent as he sat on the worn couch, the springs creaking under his light weight. He's gained a lot of weight since he's been here. Still not exactly healthy, but better.

He leaned back into the soft couch cushions as he popped his earbuds in, going to youtube. Thank fuck that the grc had wifi. He needed something, anything, to take his mind off of the nightmare replaying in his brain.

Clicking on a crash course video, he smiled softly. Hank Green made everything feel better. He laughed quietly to himself as he watched the video, sinking down into the couch until the bottom half of his face was covered by his hoodie.

After a few videos, James started to get tired. He sat up and shook his head, trying to shake the sleepiness away. He didn’t want to go back to sleep. He pressed his palms into his eyes and stayed like that for a moment, just listening to his surroundings. He heard the soft paps of socked feet and whipped his head around to look who it was.

He locked eyes with Karli. His eyes skirted over her dark figure, taking in her outfit. She looked… adorable. She was dressed in a big hoodie much like him, cept she had shorts on and he had his boxers on. What? He wasn’t exactly expecting to be around anyone else.

He shot her a hesitant smile. The smell of coffee carried through the air and he breathed in, tilting his head as he saw the mugs in her hands.

“Coffee?” he asked, his eyes following her as she came over and sat down on the couch.

“Yea, heard you leave your room. When i didn't hear you come back, i assumed you probably weren’t going back to sleep,” she flushed as she admitted how much she observes him, “uhm, i wasn’t really sure how you took your coffee so i put a little milk, cream, and sugar in it.”

James politely took the mug from Karli and took in a deep breath, the scent of coffee flooding his senses. He carefully took a sip as to not burn himself and hummed.

“It’s really good, thank you, Karli,” he took another sip, “so, what are you doing up?”

Karli grinned and moved to face him, sipping on her own coffee. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” She asked, earning a stubborn head shake from James.

“Well, if you must know, I was checking in on Mama Donya. Plus, it's usually not the easiest to sleep after missions. Everything is too fresh on the mind,” she explained, tracing the rim of her cup as she did. James nodded as he listened. “So, why were you awake?”

“Oh, uhm.. nightmares. Didn’t want to go back to sleep and risk another, so i figured staying awake would be the best choice,” He told her, keeping his head down and glancing at her through his eyelashes. He didn’t miss Karli’s slight frown, but he smiled and shrugged.

“Trust me, it’s okay. I’ve been dealing with them for a bit. I was taking therapy for it, but then the whole blip happened and I became homeless, so no more therapy,” he took a gulp of the now cooled off coffee and hummed softly as he thought of his next words, “If you don’t mind me asking, who’s Mama Donya?”

He took notice when Karli’s shoulders slumped a bit. “You don’t have to-“

“No no, it's fine. You’re curious. Mama Donya is my adoptive mother. She adopted me when I was a girl,” she went quiet for a moment before speaking again, “she’s fallen really sick lately. They’ve been keeping her in the medical corridors, but there's only so much they can do. A hospital isn’t exactly a choice, we’re all broke. They said she’s probably not going to make it, so I’ve been spending as much time with her as possible.”

“She has an amazing daughter. Super smart, stubborn too. That's what makes a leader. Her daughter is a natural leader and she knows that. She's proud of you, Karli. I know she is,” he told her, giving her a small smile.

“Now, no more sad. Wanna watch Crash Course with me? Hank Green gives me 90% of my serotonin.”

Karli laughed softly and nodded, setting her coffee cup on the table as she got closer to James and took one of the earbuds.

They started out just sitting beside each other, but as time went on and they got more and more tired, they got closer. Eventually, they ended up in a position where James was laying down on his back, and Karli was laying between his legs with her back to his chest. It was if the two didn’t even notice. They were probably too tired to.

James got off of youtube and got on spotify instead. He played quiet music through their earbuds as he got comfortable. Karli turned around to lay her head on his chest, relaxing as she was already drifting off. James smiled sleepily and laid his hand on her back, rubbing lightly as he let the other hang off the couch.

They fell asleep quickly

-

James woke up on the couch alone, an old knitted blanket draped over him. He grunted softly as he pushed himself up onto his elbows, looking around with tired eyes. There were a few people walking around. He grabbed his phone and looked at the time. Ugh, he slept in. Throwing the blanket off, he stood up.

He gathered his phone and earbuds before making his way to his room. There, he quickly got dressed into more appropriate clothes and made his way to the courtyard.

As he stepped out of the building, his senses were on edge. Danger? He scanned his surroundings until they landed on two men. One had a metal arm, Bucky Barnes, or also known as The Winter Soldier. The other one was easily recognizable, Sam Wilson, The Falcon. His gut twisted as the men caught his eye and made their way to him.

“Uhm.. hello, how may I help you?” he asked, instinctively taking a step back. Big men made him nervous.

“I’m Sam, this is Bucky. We’re looking for Karli Morganthau, do you know where she is?” Sam spoke, looking at James as Bucky glanced around. An assassin thing he assumed.

“May I ask why?” he asked, obviously feeling sketchy about the whole thing.

Sam and Bucky looked at eachother, silently speaking to each other through their eyes only. “We need to talk to her. That's all.”

The knot in James’ stomach twisted as he stayed quiet for a moment, thinking of something to say.

“Oh, well I don’t know where she is. Good luck,” he told them with a customer service smile, walking past them. He flinched when Sam grabbed his arm and leaned to his ear.

“Text me if you find out. I don’t want to hurt her. I'm trying to get to her before she DOES get hurt. John Walker is on a mission to destroy her and I’m trying to stop that,” Sam whispered in his ear, handing him a slip of paper before letting him go.

James stared at them as they walked away. He looked down at the paper in his hand and pocketed it before walking out of the GRC gates. He walked to the corner store and nodded at the worker behind the desk as he walked in.

He went straight to the snacks, grabbing a bag of hot cheetos and a bottle of water. It was something simple, as he wasn’t very hungry. Plus, hot cheetos used to be his favorite snack. He couldn’t wait to have it again.

After paying, he slowly walked back to the GRC building, the paper feeling heavy in his pocket. He decided to disappear into a park nearby, sitting down by the pond.

Ducks waddled up to him and pecked at his chips, drawing smiles and laughs from him. He didn’t give them any, of course. He doubted that hot cheetos would be good for them.

He wiped off his fingers and grabbed the paper out of his pocket, looking down at the number scribbled on it. Staring at it for a bit, he pulled his phone out. It wouldn’t hurt, right? Also not everyone can say that they have an Avenger’s number in their phone. He put it under the contact name “Bird” and chuckled to himself before pocketing his phone again.

He stayed in the park for a good 30 minutes, just listening to the sounds around him. Someday, hearing will be his most important sense. Unaware to anyone else, James was going blind in his other eye. Slowly, of course, but by the time he's 30-40, he’ll be completely blind. And that’s okay, he’s come to terms with it by now. He would be surprised if he even lived that long.

A truck zooming past the park caught his attention, causing him to turn quickly. He gathered his things and walked a bit quicker to the GRC building, spotting Karli and Dovich rushing out of the truck and into the building. He walked faster.

Dovich caught his worried eyes and frowned softly, knowing he’d need to explain.

James stared as Dovich walked over to him, not liking the sad look on his face. It just took one name for him to understand. “Mama Donya.”

He widened his eyes and looked at the doors before running inside. He rushed to the infirmary corridors and stopped at the door he saw opened, being quiet as he peeked in.

Karli was sitting there, crying while she held onto who he could only assume was Mama Donya. He stood in the doorway as he debated whether or not to walk in. He decided to give Karli some time, sitting on the bench outside of the room.

About 15 minutes passed before Karli walked out of the room. James looked up and locked eyes with her, his heart squeezing uncomfortably at the sight of her bloodshot eyes. Without a word, he stood up and pulled her into a hug. It took Karli a second, but she eventually melted into the hug. She fisted James’ shirt in her hands as she buried her face in his shoulder. James just silently rubbed her back and held her close, not knowing what to say.

“Her funeral is gonna be later tonight, everyone is being informed right now,” she sniffled, pulling away from the hug and avoiding James’ eyes, “you don’t have to come-“

James placed a hand on the woman’s shoulder, causing her to look at him. “I’m gonna be there. I might not have known Mama Donya, but I can tell she meant a lot to you. I’m not letting you deal with this alone,” he told her, gently rubbing the jutting bone of her shoulder with his thumb.

Karli shot him a sad smile and grabbed his hoodie again, lazily leaning into another hug. James wrapped one arm around her torso and the other around her shoulders, keeping her close. He knew when he was sad, pressure against his chest helped. Maybe it would help her too.

“Thank you,” she wiped her eyes and sniffled again, “uhm I need to go help prepare the funeral..” she trailed off, the situation turning a little awkward. James nodded and stepped to the side, letting Karli walk away.

His eyes followed her as she did so, a sad smile on his lips. He was worried. Way too worried for someone he met only 2 weeks ago. It made his stomach twist in a way that was uncomfortable, but not unbearable.

He sighed and rubbed his face, going to the cafeteria. He grabbed a cup of coffee and sat outside in the courtyard on a bench as he sipped on it. He pulled his phone out and stared at the screen. He turned it on and prepared a message to Sam. He basically downed his coffee as he thought about what to say, caffeine rushing through his veins. Finally, he decided to say something, his fingertips tapping on the glass.

‘Hello, this is James, the guy you gave your number to. Karli is back, but please don’t come tonight. She just lost someone close to her. Hurt her and I will hurt you,’ he typed, feeling fire surge in his chest as he thought of Sam hurting Karli. He sounded understanding when he greeted him, so maybe he's trustworthy? But James wasn't going to put too much trust into him. He pressed send. This was gonna be a long night