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"Raven, fire it up."
Clarke glanced over at the engineer. "We need to get to our friends." While Raven put on the metallic helmet, Clarke turned to Cadogan and raised her gun. She let out a nervous breath as Raven touched the symbols on the Anomaly Stone, getting ready to transport the group back to their friends. Her friends.
Not Bellamy.
Her heart sunk now, remembering all the memories they had shared. The heart and the head. She needed him, and he needed her. She shook the thoughts away. The man standing behind her was not the Bellamy she knew. He was not the same person who she had fought with, side by side, ever since the 100 were sent down to Earth. Not the same person who wouldn't let her pull that lever in Mount Weather by herself. Not the Bellamy who she loved.
Suddenly, a voice interrupted her train of thought.
"Which planet?" Raven stood back from the orb. "Where are they?" Bellamy looked up from the floor, still processing the death of his colleague. Cadogan also looked up. "It's offline." the smug malice in his voice was apparent. Clarke shot Raven a look as Cadogan continued. "Only I know the code." Raven looked back at the stone, quickly scanning the accessible planets.
She removed the helmet. "He's telling the truth. There's one planet we can't get to." Clarke tightened her grip on the gun. In a low voice, she said, "Enter the code- and you get to live." Cadogan paused for a second, then carefully extended his hand towards the ancient symbols. Clarke kept a careful watch on him.
With a burst of sickly green light, the portal swirled into existence as Cadogan touched the final symbol. "There's your bridge, go." He demanded. Clarke tilted her head. "You're coming with us." Bellamy finally stood up, invested in the situation. Clarke acknowledged this, but continued her demand. "Now move." "You should have more faith, Clarke," Cadogan said, obviously determined not to go through the wormhole.
Bellamy, still looking slightly dazed, came closer. "Not you!" Clarke barked at her friend, shifting her gaze. She continued, slightly quieter, "You've made your choice." She could see the beginnings of tears in Bellamy's eyes, and reminded herself to stay strong. She could cry later- she needed to save her friends. A brief wave of despair flashed across her face as she returned her eyes to the cult leader. Her face hardened again.
Murphy broke the silence, looking toward Bellamy. "I really hope this new thing you believe in is worth it." For once, there was not hint of sarcasm in his voice. "It is." Even as he said this, Bellamy's voice became low and breathy. He hated that his friends didn't understand, but he knew this was important- and he knew that he needed Clarke- he needed her to trust him.
He shot a glance in her direction, but didn't meet her gaze. the corners of Cadogan's mouth turned up; he knew that Bellamy was dedicated to the cause. To his Shepard. "Come on." Raven gave Bellamy a disgusted stare and angrily turned towards the portal. "Let's go."
The perplexing mixture of determination and longing on Bellamy's face grew as he watched his friends start towards the swirling green mess. Murphy and Emori met his eyes as they stepped through, Emori still confused about what had happened to Bellamy while he was gone. The rest of the group followed them through- all except for Clarke, Indra, and Cadogan.
"Indra, watch him." Clarke nodded towards Cadogan. As soon as Indra returned the nod, she lowered her gun and walked to Bellamy. Tears welled in her eyes, but she forced them back. Until this was over, she had to stay strong. Even though she had done it a hundred times over, the fact that Bellamy was the one causing her this pain made it ten times harder to shake it. Nevertheless, Clarke kept her resolve as she spoke to him.
"I said I wouldn't lose anyone else."
Bellamy's face didn't change from it's new default- The same staunch and pleading look. Clarke continued, her voice shaking. "But I have-" only a brief pause separated the crushing sentiment.
"You."
Still, Bellamy's face remained unchanged, although his eyes showed that he understood. Again, Clarke addressed the foreigner standing a foot away from her. "That doesn't matter to you though, does it- Disciple Blake." This time, he let out a sorrowful sigh- these words that would have meant so much coming from his Shepard had a completely different effect as they left the lips of his best friend.
When Bellamy didn't responded, Clarke sighed and shook her head. She looked at the floor, then back at Bellamy. "So much for together." She turned away, walking back towards Cadogan, who looked up. "Let's go," she called to Indra. Then She, Indra, and Cadogan faced the portal. Cadogan began to step through, followed by one of his guards.
Then, a low, raspy voice cut through the air towards Bellamy. "I can help you if you help me."
Sheidheda didn't bother looking up from the post where he was tied. His message was loud and clear. Bellamy tilted his head, breathing heavily as he took in the Dark Commander's scarred face and eye patch. Calmly, he hissed, "My throne." Bellamy furrowed his eyebrows and shot a curious look back towards the hideous creation of a chair, ornamented with the skulls of the Children of Gabriel. "The book."
Sheidheda winced as he looked in the direction of the throne. From the portal, Clarke looked over her shoulder. She froze as she watch Bellamy produce a dusty sketchbook from beneath a ragged black fabric.
Then it hit her- A wave of terror hit her like a rover as Bellamy opened the cover of the book.
Her eyes grew wide along with his as he realized what he was holding. Madi's sketchbook, filled with lost dreams and memories from the previous commanders. "Bellamy. Kough em op gon ai." Bellamy didn't look up from the book. Give it to me. He knew that she had spoken in Trigedasleng so that Cadogan's remaining guards wouldn't understand her.
She cocked her gun and aimed it at one of the Guards as she walked towards Bellamy. She shifted the gun towards the other guard as she yelled the order at Bellamy again.
"kom nau."
The nightblood had entered full defense mode. Bellamy continued flipping through the pages. "o ai nah rippa em klin. Yu get klin, ai na be liak." "Clarke, Madi isn't in danger. I'll make sure of that." Bellamy said, slowly.
Clarke's eyes darted from person to person, full of fear. She couldn't believe the words that were coming out of her mouth. "em na frag em op kom ge chit em gaf, en yu fosuo gaf en klim. "
The guards exchanged confused looks, not comprehending the monumental development. Tears shone in Bellamy's eyes as he desperately tried to convince Clarke. "I am trying to save us all, Clarke!" He cried.
"I will kill Cadogan. Is that what you want?" Overcome with fear and anger, Clarke responded without having to think. She continued in Trigedasleng. "Kough em op gon ai."
"Get 'er!"
Clarke whipped her head around as one of Cadogan's guards ran towards her, and shot him in the chest. He shot towards the floor as the other guards started to charge. In a flash, Bellamy yelled, "HOLD! Clarke, this isn't about Cadogan! It's bigger than any of us."
Clarke could hear the terror in his voice as he said it. Suddenly, she turned the gun on Bellamy. Clarke couldn't believe what she was doing. It's all to protect Madi, she reminded herself. Bellamy's face fell in disbelief- What was she doing? Did Clarke really think she could shoot him? Tears pooled in Clarke's eyes. "Don't make me do this," she pleaded, a tear rolling down her cheek. She shook her head softly.
"You're not going to shoot me, Clarke. The bridge will close- you should go."
"Not without that book."
Clarke's pleading expression instantly became more intense. She was desperate to save Madi. He was desperate to save his cause.
"Look at yourself-" Bellamy said in a low voice, "What you feel, right now, the need to protect someone you love so badly- you're willing to kill your closest friend. Someone who you trust, who's telling you that the fate of the entire human race is at stake."
Clarke lowered her head, sniffling uncontrollably. Bellamy continued.
"All that suffering can end."
Clarke looked up at the person standing in front of her as he tried to convince her.
"Madi's suffering too."
Clarke took a few panicked and shaky breaths. She searched Bellamy's eyes for any glimpse of hope. He did the same. Then he looked down at the sketchbook.
"I have no choice but to share this."
"I can't let them hurt her," Clarke pleaded.
"This is how we do better. This is the only way. Sorry." Bellamy began to hand the sketchbook to Cadogan's nearest guard. Clarke watched as he extended his arm. Her vision slowed and her heartbeat quickened. Panicked, a jumble of words fell out of her mouth.
"What does your heart say, Bellamy?"
Bellamy froze.
"The heart and the head, remember? What does your heart think you should do?"
He slowly lowered his arm, looking up at Clarke with tears in his eyes. Softly, he said
"My heart isn't how we win this war."
"Yes, it is!" Clarke yelled, before Bellamy could lift his arm again. "Do you really think that we deserve to transcend if we have to eliminate love to do it?" Bellamy shook his head angrily. "We're not eliminating love, Clarke! The only way to ensure the survival of the human race is to love everyone the equally!"
"Humans don't love everyone equally, Bellamy! We can't win a human war by denying the thing that makes us human!" Bellamy's brow furrowed for a fraction of a second, before his expression stabilized again. "Even if that were true, this is the only way to save everyone."
"Not Madi." Clarke interrupted. "Or Octavia, or Echo. Or me." she let her words sink in before she continued. "Are you really willing to sacrifice all of your friends for this?" Bellamy looked into Clarke's eyes. "I will save all of you. The only way I can do that is by winning the last war."
"You're wrong!" Clarke yelled. "You and I, we've been through too many wars to count. When have any of those wars led to peace?" Clarke's mind filled with images of the Grounders, Mount Weather, A.L.I.E, the Conclave, Eden, and the Primes. She could tell Bellamy was thinking about the same things. "Perpetuating the cycle of violence won't do a damn thing, and you know it."
Clarke could hear the portal closing behind her, but she knew she couldn't let Cadogan's guards get their hands on the sketchbook. Besides, now they all knew that it had something to do with Madi. None of them were leaving this room alive, and she was getting that book.
"This is different," Bellamy responded.
"How?"
"This is the final war, Clarke! We aren't perpetuating the cycle- we're ending it."
"Think of everything Cadogan and his disciples have done to get to this point! To start the last war! Think of everyone who has died because of him. Think of everyone who will die. You can't save the human race if we're already dead."
Bellamy shook his head, firmly holding eye contact with Clarke. "You can't win a war without losing people, Clarke. You of all people should know that. The Shepherd has a plan." "For God's sakes, Bellamy! Even the woman who was responsible for the destruction of the Earth didn't trust him!" Bellamy raised his eyebrows, surprised. "Becca? You don't know what you're talking about."
Suddenly, it hit Clarke. Bellamy didn't know about the events that occurred the first time humans had occupied the Second Dawn bunker. The only reason she knew was because of Madi. Between the drawings in the girl's sketchbook and the memories of past Hedas that Clarke had heard about, she had a pretty good idea of what had occured after the world ended the first time.
"Bellamy, when Bekka Pramheda returned to Earth in the escape pod, the Flame told her the code to start the last war. She was pulled into the orb, and-" "The Shepherd told me," Bellamy interrupted. "That's why he needed the Flame."
Clarke nodded. "Did he tell you what Becca said when she got back?" Bellamy stared at Clarke, waiting for an answer. "She told him to shut off the machine. She said the he was especially unprepared to face judgement." Bellamy paused. Why didn't the Shepherd tell me about this? Doesn't he trust me? He brushed the thought away. "That happened centuries ago. We're ready now." But Clarke wasn't finished.
"Did he tell you anything about the first time people inhabited the bunker?" Bellamy didn't move. Clarke scoffed in disbelief. "Of course he didn't. If he had, you would be on our side." Bellamy remained still.
"I doubt that." He said, grimly.
Clarke ignored him. "After they closed the hatch, there were still 100 spots left, and you know what Cadogan did? Nothing." Bellamy inhaled. He looked calm, but Clarke could tell he was distraught. "He let all the people outside the bunker door die, even as the scratched at the hatch."
She paused. "Bellamy, you were willing to die to open that hatch before Praimfaya. Do you really think that Cadogan has changed? He has proven over and over again that he doesn't love the human race- he only loves himself. He will sacrifice anyone in order to transcend himself. You know why he uses the whole "love everyone equally" gag? It's because everyone who he cares about is dead."
Bellamy was in denial. "How would you know that? Madi couldn't have told you- Becca wasn't there." "Cadogan's Daughter. It was Calliope who told Becca." Clarke stated.
Bellamy thought it over. He looked up at Clarke. At his best friend. One of the only people he trusted in the entire universe. She looked back at him. She lowered her gun.
"If you won't trust your heart," Clarke said gently, "Trust your head."
Bellamy looked down at the sketchbook.
He looked up at Clarke.
Then, he slowly tuned, and handed the sketchbook to Cadogan's guard. Clarke raised her gun, a tear hitting the floor beneath her.
"I'm sorry."
She put her finger on the trigger.
In a flash, Bellamy's arms shot out and snapped the guard's neck.
Clarke couldn't believe her eyes. She didn't have time to process the action as Cadogan's other guards lunged towards Bellamy. Clarke shot one guard as Bellamy took on another. As they fought, Clarke's head was a blur of relief and confusion. They fought until they were the only two left.
After the final guard dropped, Bellamy ran to Clarke. He wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his head in her shoulder. She didn't hesitate to throw her arms around his neck.
"I missed you!" She cried. "I was always there," Bellamy replied, "You just reminded me who I was fighting for. Cadogan should not represent humanity in the last war."
After a moment, Clarke let Bellamy out of the embrace. She glanced back at the spot where the portal had opened. "What do we do now?" Clarke asked. "The portal's closed-" Bellamy grinned. "Not for long." Clarke looked at him, confused. "I saw the symbols he pressed." Bellamy explained.
Clarke watched as he walked towards the orb, pushing one symbol after another. The portal burst open in a swirl of lime green light. Clarke extended a hand towards her friend.
"Together."
She smiled.
Bellamy didn't move.
He paused for a second before saying, "I'm not going with you." He said. Clarke shot a questioning glance. "Bellamy..." "If I go with you, Cadogan will know something is wrong. He'll send me to M-Cap, and they'll know about Madi-" "We'll make up an excuse," said Clarke. "We captured you, or- or-" "He won't believe you."
Even though she knew this was true, Clarke protested, "It's only a matter of time before they realize their guards are dead- they've probably already sent reinforcements. If you stay here, you won't be able to get far enough away before-" Bellamy finished her sentence. "Before they find me. Either way, Madi is put in danger and Cadogan gets his war." Clarke furrowed her eyebrows. "If you can't come with us and you can't stay here, where-"
She stopped.
She felt like she had slammed into a wall. Clarke felt new tears welling in her eyes. She could see the tears welling up in Bellamy's eyes as well.
"No. No, Bellamy-" He interrupted her, his voice shaking.
"This time, it really is the only way."
Clarke could barely speak through the tears streaming down her face.
"I just got you back- I can't lose you again."
"Clarke, give me your gun."
"No! Bellamy, we will find another way!"
Clarke shook her head back and forth. "Clarke." Bellamy took her free hand in his. He gazed into her eyes.
"You asked me if I was willing to sacrifice my friends for my cause- and I'm not. But I am willing to sacrifice myself."
Tears poured from both of their eyes. Clarke let out a sob. She knew this was the only way, and the portal would close soon. Bellamy kissed Clarke on the forehead.
"Tell Octavia and Echo that I love them. And the rest of my family from the Ark."
Clarke nodded.
"You go." He said, reaching for her gun. Clarke Shook her head.
"I'm not going to let you die alone. And I'm not going to let you kill yourself."
Bellamy nodded. They wrapped their arms around each other for the final time.
Clarke positioned the gun at Bellamy's stomach.
"May we meet again." she said, as tears poured from her eyes.
Bellamy blinked away his tears.
"May we meet again."
Both friends closed their eyes tight.
Clarke pulled the trigger.
She sobbed as she gently lowered Bellamy's body to the floor, wiped away a year, and stepped thought the portal.
* * *
Across the room, one blue eye watched as Clarke stepped through the portal. Clarke and Bellamy had been too busy with the other guards to remember the man tied to the pillar. He chuckled to himself.
Sheidheda grinned as the portal closed.
