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Kang Sujin is very knowledgeable. No one can deny that. She can solve any derivative or integral you give her, no matter how complicated. She can recite all the Goryeo Kings in order, forwards and backwards. She can even teach you CPR.

But this blood type personality stuff?

She’ll never remember it.

“My blood type is A, which means that I’m loyal and considerate,” Jugyeong says, intently reading an article from her phone. “But I’m also too sensitive and a perfectionist.”

She gasps and looks up from her phone.

Sujin rolls her eyes in response. “Jugyeong-ah, I could have told you that.”

Soo-ah is also focused on her phone, but she’s looking increasingly distraught by the minute. “Oh no, what do I do?” she exclaims suddenly, covering her eyes.

Jugyeong glances over at their friend, eyes wide. “What’s wrong Soo-ah?”

“I’m also type A,” she whines, loudly. Sujin chuckles with amusement – because you’d think the world was ending with the level of Soo-ah’s dramatics.

Jugyeong looks confused. “What’s wrong with that?”

“Look—it says type A blood and type B blood is the worst match!” Soo-ah points at the diagram on her screen with an agonized voice.

“Omo,” Jugyeong says, putting her hands in her cheeks. “Is Taehoon…”

“He’s type B!” Soo-ah cries, tossing her phone and collapsing on Jugyeong’s floor, hugging a pillow to her chest. “The world is not fair.”

Sujin laughs in response. “Soo-ah, I really doubt blood types can determine if your relationship is meant to last.”

“But it’s a sign,” Soo-ah sighs loudly. “That fate is against us.”

 “Soo-ah,” Jugyeong speaks, wrapping her arms around their distraught friend and comfortingly patting her. “Don’t worry. You and Taehoon have been through so much together. You’re definitely meant to be.”

“Not everyone can say they survived seventeen breakups,” Sujin adds, teasingly.

Soo-ah sniffles. “You guys really think so?”

“We know so!” Jugyeong affirms her with a bright smile.

Almost instantly, Soo-ah looks cheered up. She reaches over and picks her phone back up from the ground. “Hey, Kang Su, what’s your blood type?” she asks, tilting her head to the side.

“Mmm,” Sujin hums, adjusting her legs to crossed position. “I’m AB.”

Jugyeong and Soo-ah are both looking at her with surprised looks on their faces.

“What?” Sujin asks, puzzled.

“That’s the rarest blood type,” Soo-ah explains, leaning forward with excitement.

Jugyeong is already scrolling through her phone to pull up a description. “It says that those with AB blood types are very smart or even geniuses!”

“That makes sense,” Soo-ah nods excitedly.

Uncomfortable but admittedly a little flattered, Sujin looks down at her hands. “You guys don’t actually believe this stuff, right?”

There’s no answer, so she looks up. They’re both intensely reading from Jugyeong’s phone. She wants to laugh because she’s never seen them both so focused on something before, not even when they were studying in high school.

“Ooooooh,” Jugyeong marvels, her voice low almost like a warning. Soo-ah looks concerned.

Despite trying to pretend like she doesn’t care, Sujin can’t help herself from feeling intrigued. “What?” she asks, leaning closer.

“It says you’re only compatible with someone else that’s also type AB,” Jugyeong answers, looking up to Sujin, almost matter-of-factly.

“So?” she asks, unsure of the significance.

There’s a conflicted look on Soo-ah’s face before it’s replaced quickly with a smile.

“I mean I’m sure there are a lot more AB bloods out there than we think!” Soo-ah says with a smile, throwing her arm around Sujin as if to comfort her.

Sujin rolls her eyes in response, almost defensively. “It’s okay, I don’t care about that stuff, you know,” she says.

But maybe she does. Just a little.

-

It might be confusing to some, but Sujin realizes that studying for the CSAT gives her some level of comfort.

It’s a new feeling, because she remembers the nights in high school where she would stay up late, stressed out of her mind, desperately trying to memorize every little detail of her lectures in order to try  to get the highest grade in the class.

She remembers running through the facts in her head, even on the bus, when everyone else was just socializing or listening to music.

She remembers quizzing herself as she’s washing her hands in the bathroom right before the exam, muttering the equations to herself and probably freaking out everyone around her.

But now – now, studying is different.

It’s on her own accord. It’s for herself, her growth – not for anyone else.

She discovers a nice café near Sinchon where she loves to do her studying. It’s open late – which is perfect for her, since she always does her best work in the late afternoon and evening.

She’ll get a matcha latte, because coffee makes her too jittery, and always tries to sit at the table at the front near the windows for the maximum amount of daylight.

One day when Sujin’s studying, she sees Han Seojun. Surprising herself, she invites him to sit with her. Surprising himself, she’s sure, he sits down.

“Are you done with rehearsals for today?” Sujin asks.

He snorts before taking a sip of his cold brew.  “I’m never done,” he says. “I get a break for a few hours before I have to head back to evening rehearsals.”

Sujin raises her eyebrows. “Are you finally working like a cow instead of taking naps all day like you used to?” she teases, lightheartedly.

He rolls his eyes. “Ya, I couldn’t help it if Korean Literature bored me to sleep,” Seojun retorts. “If they wanted me to stay awake, they would have written something more interesting.”

Sujin takes a sip of her matcha, unbothered. “Can you even name a single poet we read from the Joseon era?”

He snorts, a little too loud. “I fail to see how this will help me in my current career,” Seojun says, crossing his arms over his chest.

“So, you can’t,” she teases, mockingly.

“I can,” Seojun replies, defensively. “But it’s not worth my time.”

He takes a quick sip of his cold brew, leaning back on his chair with his arm draped around the chair next to him.

“Uh huh,” she says with a smile. “I would argue that knowing poetry is helpful when it comes to writing songs.”

He looks down at his cold brew suddenly. “Actuallly, I haven’t been able to write my own songs yet,” Seojun admits.

The air feels a lot heavier for some reason.

“Oh,” Sujin responds, looking down because she hadn’t expected to hit a sore spot.

She then suddenly grabs the second book of her giant pile of prep books and flips quickly to a page. “Ho Nansorhon,” she says, turning the book around and pushing it across the table to face Seojun. “She was one of the most famous poets from the mid-Joseon dynasty.”

He raises his eyebrows. “And what am I supposed to do with this?”

“It’s my favorite poem,” Sujin says, genuinely. “Just to educate you,” she says, feigning arrogance. But then she shrugs, nonchalantly. “And maybe… to help with your first song.”

She almost expects him to push away the book and make a mocking comment to her. But to her surprise, Seojun takes out his phone and takes a picture of the passage on the page.

-

Sujin packs up her bag when the café closes at 11 PM. She has five books, one for each subject of the CSAT – so she places two in her bag and carries the last three in her arms.

It was a fairly productive day – she finished some practice problems in Math, read some passages from Korean Literature.

It was also nice to have a friend – are they friends? – stop by and chat for a little as a study break so she wasn’t all in her head the whole time.

They have a lot of bad blood from high school, sure, but that was over 2 years ago – and that’s behind them, Sujin hopes. She knows that while Lee Suho, Im Jugyeong, and Choi Soo-ah warmed up to her quickly, Han Seojun still never really smiled at her.

Except for today.

Sujin’s so lost in her thoughts on the way to the bus stop that she doesn’t notice a man following her closely.

Sujin also doesn’t notice as he reaches behind her and grabs her by the shoulder.

Immediately, she turns around, dropping her books and reflexively kicking at the person in question.

“Ya!” she hears immediately as the man falls to the ground.

Her heart is beating fast, on adrenaline now and she’s about to kick the man again who’s on the ground when she realizes—

“Han Seojun?” she asks, eyes wide.

And there he is. On the sidewalk, rubbing his arm with a childish pout on his face, hair haphazardly in his eyes.

He looks… kind of cute when he’s angry.

Sujin mentally curses at herself at the thought, before reaching over and offering him a hand.

“Is that how you greet a friend?” Seojun complains, purposely avoiding her hand and getting up by himself. He brushes the dirt off the back of his pants.

“Is that how you greet a girl? Sneaking up on them late at night?” Sujin counters, retracting her hand and putting it on her hips instead.

She bends down and starts picking up her books, which were just brand new and perfect until now, she thinks, annoyed.

Seojun rubs his arm in response. “I’ll have you know, I play guitar with this arm, so if it’s severely injured, you’ll be hearing from my team,” he threatens, jokingly.

She snorts in response. “I didn’t know you were so weak that a kick to the arm debilitates it so severely.”

He rolls his eyes. “I don’t know if you know this – but I’m a hot commodity right now and if I get a bruise for one of my many photoshoots lined up, it’s on you.”

“I’m so terrified,” Sujin responds, sarcastically. “On the contrary, I think a bruise would make you look more badass – clean up that soft boy image you have.”

He sticks his hands in his pockets, his eyebrows scrunching in indignation. “I do not have a soft boy image!”

She laughs in response. “Whatever, Han Seojun,” Sujin responds, lightly.

She glances up as the headlights of the bus she was waiting for catches her eye. “I have to go, that’s my bus!” Sujin exclaims suddenly, quickly rushing towards the stop as the doors open.

Sujin is a little confused, because he’s also rushing after her, but since she’s still a running distance away from the bus, she doesn’t question it.

Taking a deep breath after finally sitting down on the seats, she raises her eyebrows at Han Seojun. “What-- are you following me now?” she asks.

He scoffs in response. “Actually,” he says, taking the seat next to her. “I take this bus too.”

“You do?” Sujin asks, surprised. “Where do you get off?”

“Cheonyeon-dong,” he answers.

Sujin looks down at her books in her lap. “Me too. I didn’t know you lived there.”

He glances over at her. “I’ve lived in the same house since high school. How come we never took the same bus then?”

She meets his eyes. “Well, because I just live there in an apartment with my mom now,” Sujin says. “You know. Because my mom and dad divorced.”

“Oh… right,” he responds, looking away.

There’s a bit of an awkward silence, before Seojun finally speaks again. “Why are you going home this late anyway?” he asks.

She shrugs, as if it’s no big deal. “I study better at night.”

Seojun pauses for a moment. “It does get a little sketchy around this area at night though,” he finally says.

“Well, as you just saw, I’m wholly capable of protecting myself from creepy men,” Sujin says with a grin.

Seojun huffs in response. “Just make sure to be careful.”

She raises her eyebrows. “Wow… does Han Seojun… actually care?” Sujin feigns surprise, dramatically putting her hand over her chest.

He rolls his eyes, ignoring her comment. “How often do you study at that café?” he asks, pointedly.

Sujin looks out the window at the lights passing by. “A couple days a week,” she says.

He doesn’t answer for a moment so she looks back at him. He looks nervous… or something she can’t quite distinguish.

“What?” Sujin asks.

He clears his throat.

“Well, I have evening rehearsals every Saturday, Tuesday, and Thursday,” Seojun says. “If you want… we could… head home together on those days?”

“Oh,” she responds. She’s surprised that he would want to spend any time with her because for all she knew– he hated her. “Sure,” Sujin says, trying to sound nonchalant – like it’s not a big deal.

But it kind of is.

Because it feels like some sort of promise.

-

Sujin doesn’t know why but she decides to listen to his music that night. His debut EP is only two songs, but she puts it on as she’s getting into bed that night.

And his voice is – really good? It’s smooth and soft and confident at the same time. She finds herself hanging onto his every word.

She’s never been a fangirl, ever.

She had enough secondhand fan-girl from Choi Soo-ah.

But she finds herself looking up the video of his debut concert on stage, wishing that she had attended.

Captivated by his stage presence, his charm.

“Kang Sujin, what’s going on with you?” she mumbles to herself, before locking her phone and throwing it facedown on her bed.

-

Sujin runs into Suho at a mathematics cram session the next night for the CSAT. She raises her eyebrows at him because even though Jugyeong had told her that Suho was also taking the CSAT – she’d never expected to see him attend a cram session, especially in Math, where he was clearly effortlessly perfect at even without studying.

She looks over to the empty seat next to her on the left before she gestures at it for him to take a seat next to her.

So he does.

She remembers how it felt in high school to have him next to her. She remembers her heart beating, trying to sneak glances at his side, the excitement she got from stealing his hat, the feeling of his hand on her wrist.

If she’s being honest – she kind of misses the feeling.

Two years abroad didn’t really give her many chances to form crushes.

But when Sujin looks at him now – it’s not the same anymore.

She would be lying if she said she was completely comfortable around him. After all, she painted a picture of him as her savior in her mind for so long.

But it’s not like before. And it’s a start.

“Do you want to get a drink with me?” Sujin asks him, as they’re packing up after the long cram session.

He looks up at her with a smile.

She almost reels back because Suho offers his smiles so easily now. It’s a different Suho.

“Okay,” he tells her.

“Well, that was easy,” Sujin comments, pulling her backpack over her shoulder.

-

Since it’s a Sunday night, the bar they find is somewhat empty, with just a few patrons scattered around at different tables.

She orders a beer, suddenly feeling some sort of anxiety of being alone with him.

Because the last time she was alone with him…. It was not exactly her best moment. She shakes her head, trying to rid her mind of those memories.

The conversation starts off easy, joking about the old times and their vice principal, but then she accidentally mentions her dad and there’s this look on his face so solemn that she instantly feels like she stepped out of line.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have—” Sujin starts to say, not wanting to ruin what fragile friendship they have.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be that person for you when we were younger,” Suho says instead, and his voice is so sincere and sweet that she is thrown for a moment.

She looks down, fidgeting with her fingers – a bad habit she knows she has. When she used to give speeches in debate club, her teachers would always tell her to stop with the fidgeting – that it’s affecting her composure. But she can’t help it.

“It’s okay,” she’s able to finally say.

Sujin has talked to Jugyeong about everything, but not Suho. This is her chance. To apologize. “I was a really terrible person back then. I shouldn’t have to drive you and Jugyeong apart.”

He surprises her again. “Just because you did a bad thing doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.”

This hits her in the gut because she realizes that this is the Suho she wanted before. The sweet Suho that she remembered as a child, the one before he hardened by his mother’s death, his father’s abandonment, and then Seyeon’s death. But Jugyeong has somehow brought it out of him.

It’s… confusing. “You’re so much nicer now,” she can’t help but say.

Suho raises his eyebrows, another small smile on his face. “Am I?”

“Yeah… and you’re smiling now,” Sujin says, leaning back on the hair with a slight grimace. “It’s so weird. I can’t get used to it.”

He rolls his eyes, taking a sip of his beer. “So now it’s a crime to smile.”

She wants to laugh. “Only because it’s you,” Sujin replies. “Where is the icy cold Lee Suho that I knew before?”

Suho doesn’t answer, because he’s looking down at his beer. It was really a rhetorical question – because she knows why. She knows it’s because he fell in love.

Sujin wonders if being in love will change her too.

-

On Tuesday night, he’s there.

Waiting for her outside the café, Seojun looks so effortlessly casual and cool, that she feels a little nauseous for even thinking it.

“Hey,” Sujin says, feeling a little awkward, holding her books close to her chest as if it were some sort of protection.

He looks up at her, through his hair. “Hey,” he responds.

They begin walking towards the bus stop. She’s unsure of how to start a conversation with him. Why is she so nervous all of a sudden? Feeling like she needs to fill the empty air between them?

“How’s your arm?” she asks, finally.

Seojun laughs. “Thankfully for your sake, it’s fine,” Seojun responds, a hint of attitude in his voice.

She rolls her eyes. “I’ll make sure to kick you harder next time,” Sujin says.

“As if,” he says, crossing his arms over his chest. “The first time was a fluke.”

She glances over at him and his eyes are light, playful. “I listened to your songs the other night,” Sujin finds herself saying.

Seojun looks surprised for a moment, before it’s replaced with a smug smile. “Are you in love with me now?” he asks.

Sujin narrows her eyes. “I thought your high notes could use some work,” she says, pretending to sound like a critic.

Seojun looks offended. “Ya, I was told my voice sounds like velvet,” he responds.

“Who told you that?” Sujin responds, lightly. “Must have been a tone-deaf person.”

Seojun snorts, though he’s smiling. “What do even you know?”

She pauses for a moment, looking down at her books. “I used to sing,” she tells him.

Seojun doesn’t answer right away, so she knows she’s shocked him. “You did?”

She nods. “I played piano for ten years,” she tells him, casually. “I wasn’t really good at singing, but I liked doing it when I could.”

“Why’d you stop?” he asks.

“My dad,” Sujin admits. “My grades weren’t as good as he wanted them to be, so he made me stop the music and focus just on school instead.”

They arrive at the bus stop and she lets out a sigh.

“He always said if you’re not the best at something, then why even bother?” Sujin says, feeling some deeply buried resentment in her coming to the surface.

“Your dad sounds like an asshole,” Seojun comments so candidly that she actually laughs.

She kicks a fallen leaf on the ground. “He was an asshole,” Sujin says.

She doesn’t say more, but he doesn’t press her, which she appreciates. To be honest, Sujin finds it a little cathartic to say out loud. To release her anger in this blunt, but simple way.

“Hey,” he says suddenly. “Do you have plans?”

Sujin looks up. “When?”

“Right now,” Seojun says. There’s an undetectable look in his eyes.

Sujin is confused. “It’s eleven pm on a Tuesday,” she points out.

“So?” Seojun asks, with his ever so charismatic grin. “The night’s still young.”

-

They end up at one of those coin karaokes that she used to go to with Soo-ah and Jugyeong in high school in the middle of Seoul. She almost laughs as they get off the train and he leads her there. She also feels ridiculous because she’s still wearing her backpack and holding all of her CSAT books in her arms.

“What are we doing?” she asks once they find themselves in a room.

Seojun gives her a pointed smile. “You’re going to sing,” he tells her.

She shakes her head quickly in protest. “I told you, I’m not a good singer,” she says.

“You don’t have to be good at it,” Seojun says, leaning over to the karaoke system and scrolling through the top songs. He glances over at her. “Your only job is to have fun.”

She raises her eyebrows and puts her hands on her hips. “Is this just some excuse for you to make fun of me?”

Seojun grins. “Oh, of course I’ll make fun of you,” he says. “But only if you don’t give it your all.”

He puts on a throwback song from UI’s debut album that everyone in Korea knows and tosses her the microphone.

There’s a surge of confidence through her all of a sudden – maybe it’s the way he’s looking at her, or maybe it’s just the excitement of the spontaneity, but she begins singing at the top of her lungs, pretending like she’s a star.

And he’s using the tambourine and harmonizing with her and laughing.

For once, Sujin feels like she’s the main character.

-

Sujin’s lost in her thoughts when there’s a student waving her hand in front of her face.

“Seonsaeng-nim,” Park Minjae calls her.

She looks up quickly from her desk before heading over to the table that the younger pre-teen is sitting at with some other girls.

She’s been volunteering for the homework-helpers program at Seoul Children’s Hospital for the past few months since she’s gotten back to Seoul. It’s a twice a week program for inpatients at the hospital, targeted for the kids with chronic conditions or kids of parents with chronic conditions that spend weeks or even months at a time at a hospital. Sujin volunteers on Wednesdays.

Park Minjae is a 12-year-old girl with congenital kidney dysplasia that has been on dialysis and waiting for a new kidney for a few weeks now. She’s sweet, talkative, and has a lot of energy and Sujin has really gotten a soft spot for her.

“Yes?” Sujin answers, coming up to her.

“Can you help me with number 8?” Minjae asks.

Sujin kneels down, reading the math problem, before looking up at Minjae. “So, this question is asking you to solve for x and y using elimination,” she starts to explain slowly. “What can you multiply this second equation by so the second x cancels out the first one?”

Minjae taps the pencil against her chin. “Two?”

Sujin nods. “But don’t forget the first number is positive, so you need a…”

It seems to click for Minjae, her eyes lighting up. “Negative two!”

After solving the problem and having Sujin check it, Minjae looks up. Sujin gives her a thumbs up. “Good job.”

Minjae smiles. “Thank you seongsaeng-nim. Can I ask you a non-school related question?”

“Sure,” Sujin answers.

“Do you think I’ll get my new kidney by next month?”

Sujin’s smile drops. “I don’t know,” she answers honestly. “What’s going on next month?”

 Minjae pulls up her phone with a smile to show her a wallpaper of Eighteen, a boy band that she remembers Choi Soo-ah is really into. “Eighteen’s new album is coming out and it’s my dream to go to one of their shows.”

Sujin laughs. “Have you been to a concert before?”

Minjae shakes her head quickly. “No, my mom always said I was too young,” she says. “But she’s been telling me that she’ll take me to one once I get out of the hospital.”

Minjae unlocks her phone and pulls up a photo. “Moonjin is my bias!” she exclaims, excitedly. “Who’s yours?”

Sujin’s never been a boy band type of person, so honestly she has no idea who any of the members are, despite Choi Soo-ah’s attempts to convert her. “Sorry Minjae, but I don’t really listen Eighteen,” she tells her honestly with a half-smile.

Minjae doesn’t look disappointed at all, but she doesn’t drop the subject. “How about any bias? From any band?”

Sujin pauses for a moment, a smile coming to her face before she gives her an answer. “My bias is… Han Seojun,” she says, confidently.

She wants to laugh at how things have changed.

-

It becomes a routine. After Sujin finishes her studying at the coffee shop, she’ll pack up her bags and look outside and he’ll be there waiting for her, outside the window.

She tells him a little bit about her life for the past two years – about her experience volunteering in Haiti, how things were kind of messy after she dropped out of school, but that she’s finally getting back into a routine, and adapting back into life in Seoul.

Seojun tells her about the stressful times as a trainee, how he was afraid he would never debut, how he wished that he could write his own songs, but that he didn’t feel like he was ready for it yet.

Conversations become easy between them – filled with lots of teasing of course – but there’s always sincerity in between the jokes.

All of a sudden, Sujin starts realizing that when it hits 10:30 pm, she gets this giddy feeling of excitement of seeing him. She can barely focus on studying the last half hour, usually, because he’s in her thoughts. He’s in her thoughts a lot now.

Sujin didn’t realize that he became such a constant in her life until a Tuesday when he’s not outside when she packs up and looks out the window.

Seojun’s never missed a day before.                                      

Sujin waits a few minutes for him outside, but he doesn’t show.

She feels… disappointed.

Sujin looks down at her phone, but then realizes that in the two weeks they’ve been talking, she’s never even gotten his phone number.

“Kang Sujin?” she hears a male voice call her.

Sujin smiles, her heart leaping with excitement – but when she looks up, it’s not him.

 Lee Suho is standing in front of her, with one hand behind his neck.

“Lee Suho?” Sujin asks, surprised. “What are you doing here?”

He sticks his hands in the pockets of his hoodie, raising his eyebrows. “I was just at a studio session with Han Seojun,” Suho says.

“Oh?” Sujin asks.

She doesn’t know why, but she feels exposed – almost like her and Seojun’s meetings were their little secret but all of a sudden, now someone knows about it. Does Seojun talk to Suho about her? she wonders.

“That’s good,” Sujin says, with an awkward laugh. “I’m just heading home from studying.”

She tries to sound unbothered, but she really just wants to ask him where Seojun is. For some reason -- she can’t bring herself to.

“Seojun was held up with a meeting with his manager,” Suho tells her, as if he’s reading her mind. He has this hint of a smile on his face. “He asked me to come meet you here and tell you just in case you were waiting for him.”

Sujin’s cheeks feel a little hot and she avoids his eyes. “Well, you’ve told me,” she says weakly, starting to turn away from him.

“He also told me he’d kill me if I didn’t walk you to the bus stop,” Suho says, quickening his pace to catch up with her. “And I really don’t want to die at the hands of Han Seojun.”

She scoffs. “I can take care of myself,” she proclaims, an annoyed tone in her voice. “He should know that.”

“He knows you can,” Suho says with a telling smile. “But that doesn’t stop him from caring.”

The way Suho’s looking at her is making her embarrassed. And annoyed. Like he knows something she doesn’t and she hates it.

“You men and your savior complexes,” Sujin sneers, bringing her books closer to her chest.

He laughs. “I’m just happy you both are friends.”

 “We’re not really,” she tries to deny it, but she doesn’t know why she sounds so defensive.

“Okay—you’re not,” Suho says, but the corners of his lips are still turned up a bit. He looks over at the books in her arm before he changes the subject. “How’s the studying been going?”

“It’s been okay,” Sujin admits. “I took a practice test today and I’m still not scoring that high in the English part.”

“Me too,” Suho responds, in perfect English.

Sujin smacks him before he laughs and apologizes.

“I just can’t believe it’s coming up so soon,” he says.

“I know,” she says with a sigh as they arrive at the bus stop.

“You’ll do great,” Suho tells her. “I know it.”

It’s everything that eighteen-year-old Sujin would have wanted to hear from him. But she realizes that nowadays-- she can’t help wishing that there was another boy with her right now. Telling her these same things.

The bus signals its arrival with his bright headlights towards them. As she heads towards the door, she looks over at Suho. “Lee Suho?” she asks.

“Hmm?” he says, watching her with his careful eyes.

“Can you not tell Jugyeong about… me… and… Seojun?” she asks, blushing. It feels funny to say out loud. It makes it more real. Me and Seojun, she thinks to herself.

Suho gives her a small nod and that hint of a smile again as the bus door closes between them.

-

“Seongsaeng-nim!” Minjae calls her over to the table with a smile on her face. “Look at this,” she says, holding her phone up to Sujin.

She raises her eyebrows at the excited girl before leaning forward and looking at the screen.

To her surprise, her wallpaper is now a picture of Han Seojun. It’s from one of his photoshoots – his white collared shirt is slightly open to show off his chest and she has to look away.

He seems to be… following her everywhere, she thinks. But she doesn’t mind.

“What’s this?” Sujin says, feigning ignorance.

“It’s Han Seojun!” Minjae says with a giggle. “After you said he was your bias, I watched all his videos and listened to all his songs. I think he’s my new favorite.”

Sujin laughs, knowing that Seojun’s egotistical head would probably explode if he were here right now. “Really? More than Eighteen?”

Minjae gasps, clasping her hand over her mouth. “I could never compare the two!” she exclaims. “Han Seojun is my favorite solo-ist, but Eighteen is my favorite band.”

“Ahhh,” Sujin responds, as if Minjae has just explained something lifechanging.

Minjae nods excitedly. “I can see why you like him though,” she says. “He’s so cute. And sweet from all his interviews.”

“Me?” Sujin blushes, her throat suddenly feeling kind of dry. “I don’t like him.” She says a little too quickly.

Minjae looks confused. “So, he’s not your bias anymore?” she asks, her eyebrows scrunching together in confusion.

“Oh,” Sujin says, clearing her throat after realizing her mistake. “I mean, he is.”

Sujin points over to her empty piece of paper on the table.  “That English paragraph is not going to write itself,” she says, hoping to change the subject.

Minjae looks down. “Okay, Seongsaeng-nim,” she replies with a pout.

-

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here on Tuesday,” Seojun says to her casually as she approaches him at the entrance of the coffee shop. He takes her books into his arms, which she’s beginning to let him hold for her after refusing for the first few times.

Sujin scoffs, narrowing her eyes. “That would have been fine if you didn’t send Lee Suho as a chaperone for me like I’m some child,” she responds, pointedly.

Seojun grins in response. “I just didn’t want you to think I stood you up,” he says.

Her heart leaps a little bit at the thought. Almost like each time they’ve headed home together was some sort of date that was possible to stand up.

“So Suho knows now,” she says, without thinking.

“Knows what?” Seojun asks, puzzled.

“About us,” Sujin finds herself saying.

The confused look on Seojun’s face does not change. “What about us?”

She feels her heart drop, suddenly embarrassed. “Nothing,” she replies, quickly, looking down at her fingers, which she’s now playing with again. “How was your rehearsal? Have you been working on the high notes?”

He rolls his eyes. “Again with that,” he says with a scowl.

“Wouldn’t want to let down your fans,” Sujin says with a smile. “Speaking of which, you should pay me because I accidentally converted one of the students I tutor into your fan.”

As the bus arrives, she swipes her card and takes a seat near the window as usual.

“You did?” he asks.

“Yup, her name is Park Minjae. She’s a spunky 12-year-old girl who’s missing her kidneys, but has a lot of heart to make up for it.”

He looks over at her. “It’s… actually really cool that you do that,” he says.  “Volunteer at the children’s hospital, I mean.”

Sujin shrugs. “I wouldn’t say teaching algebra to kids is really ground-breaking stuff,” she says. “If anything, it’s glorified babysitting.”

He looks serious, for some reason. “I think it’s pretty ground-breaking,” he admits. “You know my mom was in and out of the hospital a lot. Maybe if I had a tutor like you, I wouldn’t have been so behind in all my classes.”

She’s humbled by him for a moment, sitting back. “Are you… being nice to me?” Sujin jokes, giving him a loud dramatic gasp.

He laughs. “I won’t make a habit out of it,” he replies.

“Well,” Sujin says. “If you ever want to stop by the hospital on a Wednesday afternoon, I’m sure Minjae would love to meet you.”

Seojun grins. “If I can find the time in my very busy schedule as an idol,” he says.

Sujin rolls her eyes in response. “Yes, of course, how could I ever forget you’re an idol when you never shut up about it?” she responds. Suddenly, Sujin remembers something that had been bothering her since Tuesday.

“Give me your phone,” Sujin says.

Seojun pulls his phone out of his pocket. “Why?”

She snatches it from his hands and puts her phone number in it. “So the next time you can’t meet up with me, you can just text me instead of sending Lee Suho.”

He snickers. “Fair enough.”

“And,” Sujin says. “If you ever want to come to the Children’s Hospital, I can text you the address.”

-

To her surprise, he actually does come.

He shows up – cool as ever – with his guitar strung over his shoulder and his hair falling into in his eyes.

Sujin would never admit it – but she does feel a little starstruck too.

She’s sure Minjae is about to explode with happiness. Her eyes are sparkly-eyed and the rest of her friends gather around him.

“Seongsaeng-nim! You didn’t tell me you actually knew Han Seojun!” Minjae says with a squeal. “This is the best day ever!”

She laughs in response. “I wanted to give you a goodbye gift,” Sujin says, ruffling Minjae’s hair affectionately. “Since you’re getting your new kidney tomorrow.”

Minjae jumps up and hugs her. “This is way better than the kidney!”

The absurdity of it makes her laugh.

Sujin watches as Seojun interacts with the girls in the class, taking pictures with them and answering their eager questions.

She can’t help but think that with time, Han Seojun will be the object of everyone’s affection – the world’s affection.

She doesn’t know why, but it makes her feel a little jealous.

After his spontaneous informal fan-meet, she walks with Seojun out of the classroom and down the hallway. “Did you hear that?” he says cockily with a grin. “I’m even better than a life-saving kidney.”

Sujin snorts. “Don’t let that get to your head now,” she teases.

He laughs. “Minjae is really cute,” he says.

“She is,” Sujin replies. “I’m happy she’s getting her kidney and she’ll be out of here. But in a way, it’s bittersweet, because I’ll miss her.”

He nods in response. “It must be like that for all the kids that get better,” Seojun sticks his hands in his pockets. “They can always visit you though, right?”

Sujin looks over at him. “Yeah, but it’s better if they don’t come back here,” she says. “Too much trauma throughout this whole place.”

He looks down at his feet, perfectly understanding the heaviness of her words.

She realizes that he must know a lot about spending time in hospitals.

She’s about to say something else to lighten the mood when she sees him.

A man of medium stature, wearing a white coat and round glasses. Graying hair. A slight slouch. Sujin would recognize him anywhere.

All of a sudden, she’s paralyzed. She stops in her tracks, feeling like she’s about to faint.

In her peripheral vision, she can see Seojun stopping too, looking over to her, but she can’t speak.

“What’s wrong?” he asks. Seojun follows her gaze to the man that’s down the hall from them, talking to one of the nurses in the hall.

That’s when she runs.

-

She just can’t get outside fast enough, she thinks.

Sujin’s finally made it out the hospital and to the side door in just a few minutes, panting and falling to the ground, pulling her knees up to her chest.

Unable to help herself, her tears begin flowing freely from her eyes.

“Kang Sujin,” Seojun says, out of breath from chasing after her. He instantly kneels down with her. “Are you okay?”

She doesn’t even know how to answer his question and she can’t because all the sounds that are coming out of her are just sobs and hiccups and she can’t breathe.

But then, Seojun’s holding her, wrapping his arms around her and just letting her cry into his chest.

He’s patting her reassuringly on the back and it’s the most comforted she’s ever felt. She cries harder. He doesn’t say anything, thankfully.

Sujin doesn’t really get it herself-- why she’s crying and why seeing him has such a strong impact on her.

Why still, even after two years, she fears him. Why she still has the urge to run.

After a few moments, her cries start to quiet, her shoulders stop shaking. She finally feels like she can breathe again.

But he’s still there, holding her, stroking her hair.

Sujin leans back against the cold brick wall and he’s watching her with these careful eyes.

“Hey,” Seojun says, reaching up to take her faces in both his hands, wiping away the tears on her cheeks with his thumbs.

Sujin hiccups.

“Sorry,” she says, feeling small.

He sits down in front of her, his hands still caressing her cheeks. “Why are you apologizing?”

Sujin looks away, avoiding his eyes. “I just don’t know what came over me.”

There’s a pause before she looks up again. His eyes look so concerned – the warmest brown she’s ever seen, she thinks. “Was that your dad?”

She gives him a small nod. “That was the first time I’ve seen him since the divorce,” Sujin tells him, a sigh escaping her. “I guess I didn’t realize how much seeing him again would affect me.”

“Did you miss him?” he asks.

Sujin shakes her head vigorously. “The opposite,” she says. “I hate him. I never want to see him again.”

Seojun is silent – she knows he is so in the dark about everything but she’s so tired. She doesn’t know how to even begin to explain.

How to express the complex emotions she’s going through.

He seems to sense this because he stands up and offers her a hand. “Let’s go somewhere,” Seojun says, suddenly. “Somewhere that’s not an empty alley next to a hospital.”

She takes it.

-

They end up at a convenience store after they both realize they’re a little hungry and ramyeon just sounds like the perfect solution.

She stirs her spicy shin noodles in the plastic container as she looks up as Seojun tosses his spicy seasoning in the trash.

“You can’t eat spicy food?” she asks, raising her eyebrows.

Seojun pours the contents of the non-spicy packet into his noodles as he mixes it. “It’s not that I can’t eat it,” he says. “It’s that I don’t like it.”

“Only a person who can’t eat spicy food would say that,” she says.

He glares at her. “Excuse me if I like tasting my food instead of burning my tongue off.”

She laughs before taking a sip of her ramyeon, the soup really warming her up her insides and miraculously making her feel much better. “Mmm,” Sujin says in response before quietly slurping up her noodles.

When she looks at him again, he’s staring at a field that’s across the street from them. “I used to play soccer when I was a kid,” Seojun tells her suddenly.

She pauses.

“I feel like I remember that. From elementary school,” Sujin says.

“My dad was really into it,” Seojun admits. “He was a goalie in college. So he really wanted me to be one too.”

“So, what happened?” Sujin asks.

“I was really bad at it,” Seojun says with a laugh. “I couldn’t block a single ball. They’d hit me in the head or the leg or the foot and the opposing team would always score on me.”

She laughs, imagining little stressed Seojun in the middle of the net. “Did you quit then?”

Seojun shakes his head. “No, that’s the worst part. I didn’t want to let him down, so I kept trying.”

“Even though you were bad at it?”

He laughs. “Especially because I was bad at it.”

He takes a bite of some of his ramen before continuing. “Eventually, we lost so many games that our coach eventually decided to just put me on the bench.”

She looks up at him from her bowl of noodles. “You must have been so sad.”

“No,” Seojun says. “I was so relieved. I liked the bench so much better. We started winning games again. And I could actually have fun watching from the sidelines instead of being beat up by the ball.”

Sujin laughs. “And your dad?” she asks.

“He was sad about it at first,” Seojun says. “But I think he got over it because he felt bad about all the head trauma I endured from getting hit by the balls.”

“This explains a lot,” she responds with a playful smile.

“Ya!” Seojun says, crossing his arms over his chest. “Here I am trying to open up and tell you a story and you’re being rude about it.”

“Hey—you just walked into it,” Sujin retorts, shrugging her shoulders.

“You hurt me, Kang Sujin,” he jokes, grasping his heart as if it was in pain.

“More than all the soccer balls you got hit by?” Sujin teases again.

He narrows his eyes at her, but suddenly she’s laughing – and he’s laughing too. Maybe it’s too many emotions for one night, but she just feels so free – so light when she’s with him.

When they finally stop, there’s a bit of a pause.

“I’m sorry about earlier,” Sujin finally says.

He shakes his head. “I told you not to apologize,” Seojun responds.

Sujin bites her lip, feeling a little vulnerable. She lets out a small sigh before she realizes that she does want him to know about her. Even her darkest parts.

“I’m just telling you this because I want you to understand, okay? Not because I want you to feel sorry for me.” she begins to say.

“Okay,” Seojun says, looking cautious.

“My dad… he used to hit me,” she says, staring at the table between them. “Not often. But whenever I didn’t get the top score in school.”

When Sujin looks up at him, he looks angry. His mouth is in a thin line – but it’s his eyes that seem to be filled with fury.

So she continues. “But he wasn’t completely a bad man,” Sujin tries to say quickly. “He provided me and my mom everything we needed. Paid for all my expensive tutoring. He just had really high expectations for me.”

There’s still the dark tinge in Seojun’s eyes. “You shouldn’t make excuses for him,” he responds. “No parent should ever hit their child.”

She pushes her ramyeon away, feeling like she’s lost her appetite. “I know,” Sujin says. “I don’t know why I still feel like I need to protect his name even though he hurt me so badly.”

She sees his eyes soften. “Because you have a good heart,” Seojun says. “And you’re strong.”

“Am I?” she asks, with a strained laugh.

“You are,” Seojun repeats, his voice serious. “Stronger than all of us. Stronger than me.”

She rubs her nose, feeling a little cheeky. “Well… it’s not so hard to be stronger than you, right?” Sujin responds.

He rolls his eyes. “Kang Sujin – you really are something,” he says, sounding annoyed – but he’s smiling.

-

They head home from the convenience store soon after.

The bus ride is quiet, both of them just enjoying sitting next to each other in exhaustion but in a comfortable silence.

As the bus comes to a stop at their usual station, Sujin remembers something – something random. Something she forgot about until now.

“Hey Han Seojun,” she asks, suddenly. “What’s your blood type?”

Seojun raises his eyebrows. “Why are you asking me such a cheesy question?” he asks.

“Do you have to make everything so difficult?” she asks, a tinge of annoyance in her tone.

“Okay, okay,” Seojun says, raising his hands up in surrender. “I think I’m AB.”

She almost thinks she hasn’t heard him correctly. “What?”

“Ya, is there too much earwax in your ears or something?” he teases. “I said my blood type is AB.”

“Oh,” Sujin says. She instantly feels nervous and giddy at the same time and she doesn’t know why. “Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

He looks confused at her reaction. “Wait—what about you?”

She’s already walking away quickly and heading out the bus, avoiding the question.

He can't see it, but she can't stop smiling.